DEA Rubber Ducky Is Looking for Your Package

Just days after America's drug warriors went to conniptions over psychoactive bath salts, someone sends me a link to a bath-time, badge-wearing rubber ducky the DEA sells on its website. 

Coincidence? I think not! The website says it "really squeaks." Sure. Squeals is more like it.

Comments

[Libertarian]

The DEA has an online store!?!?!?

And they sell key chains with little tiny handcuffs!?!?!?

Aaaaaiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!!!! Beam me up. Now.

[Libertarian]

There's even a DEA Christmas ornament!

[Fatty Bolger]

Also, for that truly special birthday party, they'll send an agent to your house to discharge a firearm right in front of the children! DEA professionalism guarantees that it's perfectly safe, and fun for all!

[Xeones]

...perfectly safe, and fun for all!

Unless you're the family dog.

[Rather]

Huh shucks Radley. You didn't with the RandyAyndy Awards either but the good news is that the DEA won't be delivering the RandyAyndy award to your house

[sloopyinca]

Rather|1.26.11 @ 11:16AM|#
I HATE YOU ALL! I'M NEVER POSTING HERE AGAIN!

reply to this

[D'oh]

Rather, are you related to the late great (and sorely missed) joe who said the same thing, and either forgot or lied?

[Rather]

The ghost of Joe-I might write about him. Hmm, the spoof ain't me

[Hugh Akston]

The DEA already has basically unrestricted access to your junk, so why not take one in the bath with you?

[Robert]

Hah! Quackel could eat that jaundiced duck.

[anarch]

"He loved Big Brother."

[Episiarch]

Rubber duckie, you're the one
you make pat-downs so much fun
rubber duckie I'm awfully fond of EHF

[Rubber Duckie]

Save me TSA! I'm in Epi's ass. I'm trying to remain calm but the gerbil here has been stuck for a week.

[sloopyinca]

Rather|1.26.11 @ 11:16AM|#
I HATE YOU ALL! I'M NEVER POSTING HERE AGAIN!

reply to this

[Rather]

sloopyinca, are you slow? That is one of the thousands of spoofs.

[Libertarian]

The target demographic for their propaganda just keeps getting younger and younger. What's next? Are they going to start sponsoring sonograms?

[Xenocles]

They're going to do an amnesty buyback of the banned bath salts. That's what you get back in exchange.

Also, arrested.

[Johnny Longtorso]

The website seems to be down.

[Libertarian]

Funny, it was up earlier. The avalanche of 20 or so Reason readers probably crashed it. They can't be used to very much traffic.

[SIV]

I highly recommend the DEA online publication Microgram Bulletin. The site is down at the moment.

[Binky]

Why settle for less than the best?

[sounds real good]

It looks more like Sammy Davis, Jr.

[The Ghost of Sammy Davis, Jr.]

They all look alike.

Rubber duckies, I mean.

[Tulpa]

I was searching for a stuffed dog from a police department, but found this gem instead:

Police shoot stuffed animal with Taser

Warren police said the 911 caller said a "huge" animal resembling "a 150-pound cat" was spotted in an old cement drainpipe in Bates Park and 10 officers were sent to the scene, WDIV-TV, Detroit, reported Monday. The officers saw the outline of the animal in the pipe and shot it with a Taser.

[peachy]

"The officers were all immediately suspended without pay for failure to use lethal force."

[Rather]

"I was searching for a stuffed dog from a police department."
Rule 34 has finally been proven to be a myth.

[Police manual]

"Police shoot stuffed animal with Taser"

Yeah... and you shoot a dog with your firearm.

[wcy]

i might get one of those. good place to hide my stash.

[????? ??????]

Thanks