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Policy

DEA Rubber Ducky Is Looking for Your Package

Radley Balko | 1.26.2011 6:27 PM

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Just days after America's drug warriors went to conniptions over psychoactive bath salts, someone sends me a link to a bath-time, badge-wearing rubber ducky the DEA sells on its website. 

Coincidence? I think not! The website says it "really squeaks." Sure. Squeals is more like it.

Subscribe to Reason Roundup, a wrap up of the last 24 hours of news, delivered fresh each morning.

NEXT: Progressives vs. "Progressive Originalism"

Radley Balko is a journalist at The Washington Post.

PolicyWar on DrugsNanny StateDrug PolicyBath SaltsDrugs
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  1. Libertarian
    January.26.2011 at 6:31 pm

    The DEA has an online store!?!?!?

    And they sell key chains with little tiny handcuffs!?!?!?

    Aaaaaiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!!!! Beam me up. Now.

    1. Libertarian
      January.26.2011 at 6:38 pm

      There's even a DEA Christmas ornament!

    2. Fatty Bolger
      January.26.2011 at 6:55 pm

      Also, for that truly special birthday party, they'll send an agent to your house to discharge a firearm right in front of the children! DEA professionalism guarantees that it's perfectly safe, and fun for all!

      1. Xeones
        January.26.2011 at 9:10 pm

        ...perfectly safe, and fun for all!

        Unless you're the family dog.

  2. Rather
    January.26.2011 at 6:49 pm

    Huh shucks Radley. You didn't with the RandyAyndy Awards either but the good news is that the DEA won't be delivering the RandyAyndy award to your house

    1. sloopyinca
      January.26.2011 at 10:38 pm

      Rather|1.26.11 @ 11:16AM|#
      I HATE YOU ALL! I'M NEVER POSTING HERE AGAIN!

      reply to this

      1. D'oh
        January.27.2011 at 1:58 am

        Rather, are you related to the late great (and sorely missed) joe who said the same thing, and either forgot or lied?

        1. Rather
          January.27.2011 at 3:50 am

          The ghost of Joe-I might write about him. Hmm, the spoof ain't me

  3. Hugh Akston
    January.26.2011 at 6:51 pm

    The DEA already has basically unrestricted access to your junk, so why not take one in the bath with you?

  4. Robert
    January.26.2011 at 6:54 pm

    Hah! Quackel could eat that jaundiced duck.

  5. anarch
    January.26.2011 at 7:09 pm

    "He loved Big Brother."

  6. Episiarch
    January.26.2011 at 7:12 pm

    Rubber duckie, you're the one
    you make pat-downs so much fun
    rubber duckie I'm awfully fond of EHF

    1. Rubber Duckie
      January.26.2011 at 9:43 pm

      Save me TSA! I'm in Epi's ass. I'm trying to remain calm but the gerbil here has been stuck for a week.

      1. sloopyinca
        January.26.2011 at 10:39 pm

        Rather|1.26.11 @ 11:16AM|#
        I HATE YOU ALL! I'M NEVER POSTING HERE AGAIN!

        reply to this

        1. Rather
          January.27.2011 at 3:13 am

          sloopyinca, are you slow? That is one of the thousands of spoofs.

  7. Libertarian
    January.26.2011 at 7:21 pm

    The target demographic for their propaganda just keeps getting younger and younger. What's next? Are they going to start sponsoring sonograms?

  8. Xenocles
    January.26.2011 at 7:30 pm

    They're going to do an amnesty buyback of the banned bath salts. That's what you get back in exchange.

    Also, arrested.

  9. Johnny Longtorso
    January.26.2011 at 8:14 pm

    The website seems to be down.

    1. Libertarian
      January.26.2011 at 8:42 pm

      Funny, it was up earlier. The avalanche of 20 or so Reason readers probably crashed it. They can't be used to very much traffic.

      1. SIV
        January.26.2011 at 10:15 pm

        I highly recommend the DEA online publication Microgram Bulletin. The site is down at the moment.

  10. Binky
    January.26.2011 at 10:36 pm

    Why settle for less than the best?

    1. sounds real good
      January.27.2011 at 12:20 am

      It looks more like Sammy Davis, Jr.

      1. The Ghost of Sammy Davis, Jr.
        January.27.2011 at 7:53 am

        They all look alike.

        Rubber duckies, I mean.

  11. Tulpa
    January.26.2011 at 11:27 pm

    I was searching for a stuffed dog from a police department, but found this gem instead:

    Police shoot stuffed animal with Taser

    Warren police said the 911 caller said a "huge" animal resembling "a 150-pound cat" was spotted in an old cement drainpipe in Bates Park and 10 officers were sent to the scene, WDIV-TV, Detroit, reported Monday. The officers saw the outline of the animal in the pipe and shot it with a Taser.

    1. peachy
      January.27.2011 at 2:17 am

      "The officers were all immediately suspended without pay for failure to use lethal force."

    2. Rather
      January.27.2011 at 4:15 am

      "I was searching for a stuffed dog from a police department."
      Rule 34 has finally been proven to be a myth.

  12. Police manual
    January.27.2011 at 2:03 am

    "Police shoot stuffed animal with Taser"

    Yeah... and you shoot a dog with your firearm.

  13. wcy
    January.27.2011 at 9:13 am

    i might get one of those. good place to hide my stash.

  14. ????? ??????
    June.25.2012 at 5:26 am

    Thanks

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