Government Spending

Hoosiers Blow Federal Million in Notrabajophobic Fit

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Better safe than sorry!

At an initial cost of $1 million drawn from federal unemployment-system administration funds, the government of Indiana will hire armed security guards to patrol 36 of its unemployment offices.

Indianapolis-based WRTV reports:

No specific incidents prompted the action, Department of Workforce Development spokesman Marc Lotter told 6News' Norman Cox. Lotter said the agency is merely being cautious with the approach of an early-December deadline when thousands of Indiana residents could see their unemployment benefits end after exhausting the maximum 99 weeks provided through multiple federal extension periods "Given the upcoming expiration of the federal extensions and the increased stress on some of the unemployed, we thought added security would provide an extra level of protection for our employees and clients," he said.

Some offices have had guards for nearly two years but those guards were hired on a regional basis, meaning some offices had armed guards while others did not, Lotter said. "Given the upcoming expiration of the federal extensions and the increased stress on some of the unemployed, we thought added security would provide an extra level of protection for our employees and clients," he said.

The station's online poll shows 47 percent of readers agreeing with the decision and 43 percent disagreeing.

Hoosiers, please advise: Is there any green cash to be taken from an Indiana state unemployment office? It seems unlikely, but maybe there's a strongbox full of Jacksons to pay off stragglers?

Assuming the 36 branches that handle unemployment insurance (the DWD's WorkOne network seems to include about 90 branches in all), are not heist targets, Lotter seems to be saying "increased stress" may drive some chĂ´meur to a terroristic or tantrum attack on an unemployment office.

I'm willing to posit that a 99er may be more likely to go postal than an average citizen. But the risk reduction from putting one $27,000 Paul Blart at each office seems marginal. And it's achieved through an extra indignity to "clients" whose self-esteem is not exactly peaking to begin with. If you're going to waste a million dollars, why not provide a course in ESL or job-interviewing, hire Tony Robbins to give a seminar, or do something else that makes it look like you're encouraging people rather than bullying them? It's disturbing but revealing that government's next move after welfare runs out is to use force.

Courtesy of Michael Snyder, who adds, "Unfortunately, as the U.S. economy goes downhill even further, the amount of security that people feel is 'necessary' is likely to go up even more."

NEXT: The Great Halloween Roundup

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  1. So the Unemployment Office is hiring, eh? Pluck a couple guys out of the line, toss a uniform on them and shove a gun in their hand.

    Another tally in the “created” column!

  2. These new guards better be unionized at $35 an hour with full benefits or we will picket and shut these offices down.

  3. Oh Mitch Daniels, is this what you want to spend money on?

  4. Didn’t Nancy Pelosi tell us that unemployment benefits are our “best bang for the buck”? So, just hire everyone to be a security guard, then lay them off. They get another 99 weeks of unemployment, and isn’t that what America really, really needs? Jobs are for losers.

    1. Are you serious?

  5. If I worked at the unemployment office, I’d be grateful for the protection. To be separated by just a thin, short wall or desk between me & a desperate client is not appealing.

    But it would be better to contract out the security service. Blackwater, anyone?

  6. It should be abundantly clear, by now, that there are essentially no qualifications needed to be a columnist for the New York Times, except possibly mental retardation, which can be adequately simulated by a dedicated regimen of drug and alcohol abuse.

    How many failed theories are you fluent in?

  7. “I’m willing to posit that a 99er may be more likely to go postal than an average citizen.”

    That’s probably their excuse but as anyone who has ever visited a post office or the DMV know, the guards are really there to protect the citizens from the workers.

    1. Not to defend DMV workers, but I had to go to the Social Security office in Seattle to get a replacement SS card (they require it for passport renewal now, and mine had been missing forever). They had a guard there, and for a reason. I will sound like a terrible elitist (and I am), but holy shit–that was trash central. I was there maybe 30 minutes, and there were two people who freaked on the clerks because they had to wait in a particular line (certain lines were for simple stuff like my replacement card, other lines were for benefits).

      1. Last time I went to the DMV I was one of people freaking out. Thankfully they didn’t have any security there. Basically, my license was going to be suspended if I didn’t get something cleared at the DMV that day(stupid, I know). I arrived with about an hour left before closing(after I was subject to an epic spell of luck at the courthouse that took all day). While I was waiting in line an employee tried to tell me that they were no longer taking walks ins so if I didn’t have an appointment I would have to leave. The place was not busy at all and half of the work stations had workers who were there but were not taking people for some reason. I pretty much threated the woman after she got lippy once I made it clear that I was staying in line and talking to someone else. She ended up just going outside to prevent further people from coming in. Once I was the next person to be called, I went up and gave the guy my DL# and the court document and in less than two minutes I was cleared up and walking out.

        Also the guy who ended up helping me looked exactly like Barney Frank. And chivas gets confused by commas.

        I hate the government.

        1. I went to the DMV once and the idiot at the “help” desk told me I needed some document I didn’t have and I “might as well go home”. I pointed out the instructions specifically contradicted this, and she was like “I don’t care what it says there”. At this point I was shaking with rage and demanded to see someone else. She pointed me to an un-open line. Needless to say, I was right and I was in and out in two minutes. And I skipped everyone else 🙂

          So yeah – I suppose maybe they OUGHT to be more concerned about us than the other way around.

          1. I must live in the perfect town. Extremely low taxes considering our relative wealth to the surrounding area and the best DMV I have ever experienced. Been there a few times, never a wait, the employees are friendly and helpful…basically the Bizarro DMV compared to every other one I’ve been to in two states.

            1. In Floriduh we can renew our DL online. Last time I set foot in a DMV office was 1995.

  8. ” It’s disturbing but revealing that government’s next move after welfare runs out is to use force”.

    Disturbing yes. Suprising? not so much.

  9. In honor of Halloween, I bring you…

    Call of Duty: 99er Zombie Mode

    For 99 weeks they suckled at the teat of Big Government. Then the money stopped.

    Left with nothing but gubmint cheese, thousands of Indiana 99ers soon succumbed to a strange rotting disease and passed away. But not even 6 feet of damp earth could keep them from their revenge. They clawed their way to the surface, and converged on the Unemployment Office, setting the stage for the latest Call of Duty challenge…

    Taking the role of a freshly minted State of Indiana Security guard, you will start with nothing but a .38 Revolver as the zombie horde assaults your building. Search the office complex to unlock weapons to aid you in your fight as the zombie influx accelerates: truncheons, staplers, 2,000-page bound legislative packages, machetes, mini-Uzis, and dozens more. Find and consume “Stimulus Package” power-ups to allow you to regenerate faster and survive the ever increasing levels of carnage inflicted by the Unemployed Undead! But there can be no final victory – because the government is broke, and the Stimulus Packages eventually run out. You will die at the hands of enraged zombies… the only question is how long it will take…

    Coming to video stores near you this Tuesday!

    Disclaimer: the above post is parody.

    1. Is ‘stamping power’ one of the perks?

  10. Hey, you got to blow a mil? Hire some thugs (and get a pay-back).

  11. Rest easy, peons. This is all going according to My Plan. Soon, you will all be equal… and free to feast upon one square meal a day of tasty Soylent Green, which will be available at all unemployment offices. Around back. Ask for Tony.

    1. At least Tony won’t have to worry about the zombies.

      1. We not want Tony. No braaaaiins.

  12. You have to SPEND money to MAKE money!

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