The Great Halloween Roundup



First: This is what the Internet is for—an interactive map of Jersey Devil sightings.

Second: The diary of Matthew Hopkins, witchfinder general, is made public.

Third: If a haunted house isn't frightening enough for you, you could try this experience instead.

Fourth: Houston Press picks the top five Halloween warnings forwarded by frantic moms. On a related note, here's a handy link to to the Halloween page at Snopes.com.

Fifth: I'm pretty sure I've blogged this brilliant Cthulhu/Peanuts mashup in the past, but it's too good not to link to it again.

Sixth: Some Satan humor.

Finally: I missed the news in June that the great country-funk singer-songwriter Larry Jon Wilson passed away. In belated tribute—and, yes, in honor of Halloween—here's a spooky song he recorded in 1976:

NEXT: What We Saw at The Rally to Restore Sanity And/Or Fear

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  1. Second: The diary of Matthew Hopkins, witchfinder general, is made public.

    Vincent Price’s portrayal of Hopkins is fucking great.

    1. SIV, you cold extracting shithead, you beat me to it. The Conqueror Worm is amazing shit, and Vincent Price was awesome in it. So evil.

      1. Yep – if you like ’60s British horror, that movie’s a must.

        1. Hammer, American International, and Amicus: the holy trinity of 60’s horror. Peter Cushing, Vincent Price, and Christopher Lee. Damn, that shit is good.

          1. (Although, technically, the bulk of the good Amicus stuff was released in the 1970s.)

            1. Amicus ran ’62 to ’77. Their Doctor Who stuff was in the ’60’s. How dare you try and correct me, Franklin! But you’re right, Asylum and Tales from the Crypt were early ’70s.

          2. TCM has been running their movies all weekend. Good stuff.

            … Hobbit

  2. Younknow who else likes to hunt witches? The police.

  3. Whoa, Jesse, I had no idea you were such a fan of geometric set theory. It’s rare to see a shout-out to the Banach-Tarski paradox these days.

    1. I will come out and profess my fondness for space filling curves.

    2. I won’t be impressed until 2^?o identical pumpkins are made.

  4. And here I thought we were going to get a mug shot of Pelosi.

  5. The penmanship in that diary is remarkable, for which reason I’m a little skeptical that it’s truly Hopkins’ “diary”. Most correspondence and personal writing from that era that I’ve seen is practically illegible to modern eyes. I think writing that clear was usually the work of professional “scriveners”, and that either this is a contemporaneous transcription of Hopkins’ diary (to be preserved for posterity) or a record of the proceedings taken by a secretary other than Hopkins.

  6. Halloween is like the school board election season. Random strangers ring my doorbell and demand that I surrender my property for the sake of the children. Except, the candy I give out on Halloween actually goes to the kids.

      1. Link-failure notwithstanding, you have succeeded in posting entirely in black and orange, in keeping with the spirit of the holiday. Well done.

  7. Prop 19 is falling in the polls.

    Supporters claim that it’s because people might be afraid to say they support marijuana legalization. I don’t buy that argument, because it suggests that people weren’t afraid to say it at first, but became afraid to say it later on…which makes no sense.

    In my opinion, if anything, prop 19 supporters are (hopefully) the types that don’t answer polls and are woefully undercounted.

    I still find the No on Prop 19 message interesting. Paraphrased: “While there may be a way to legalize marijuana, Prop 19 isn’t it”.

    Which seems to me that my feelings on this are correct: Proposition 19 is too sweeping a legalization which cuts out the most important gangster in the neighborhood: The government.

    You don’t go legalize something without going through Uncle Gino. Uncle Gino wants a piece of the action, and you’re showing Uncle Gino disrespect without paying him proper tribute… and Prop 19 doesn’t pay tribute.

    1. Paying taxes to “Uncle Gino” on pot sales, for the first time in American history, isn’t a “tribute”? I’d call it something else: a concession, a philosophical compromise. Since when do libertarians concede the federal government’s inherent right to tax and regulate agricultural products? That isn’t libertarianism; it’s pragmatism.

    2. Prop 19 doesnt cut out the government, it cuts out the Feds.

      Big fucking difference.

      1. The tax and hat tips to regulatory structure isn’t enough. I honestly believe that if anyone legalizes pot, it’ll be the government that does it, not the people.

        This is seen as an uppity move by the residents in Uncle Gino’s neighborhood. No one makes a move without Uncle Gino’s nod.

        Now the people have made a move without Gino’s approval, and now he’s gotta act.

      2. Prop 19 doesnt cut out the government, it cuts out the Feds.

        Not if the feds declare that they won’t be “cut out,” and the feds have made that declaration in the run-up to the vote. And if they wish, they can cite the Supremacy Clause and numerous precedents to back up their drug-war, prohibitionists policies. Passage of Prop. 19 may ignite a long, tortuous journey to the Supreme Court, where victory is far from assured, and defeat would be disastrous for “states rights” cases such as this one.

    3. “While there may be a way to legalize marijuana, Prop 19 isn’t it”.

      Why do people insist upon letting the perfect be the biggest obstacle to the possible?

      1. [i]Why do people insist upon letting the perfect be the biggest obstacle to the possible?[/i]

        They suffer from the same genetic defect that makes them think voting for a ‘D’ or ‘R’ will make things better.

        1. Nah. We suffer from a defect that identifies the historical fact that, in a compromise with the state, the state always wins, and the people lose more freedoms than they gain.

  8. The Adventures of Lil’ Cthulhu

  9. Hanover Iron Works 1800s Naval Hero Stephen Decatur in the early 1800s saw a large winged ‘devil’ while practicing or testing his cannons near Hanover Iron Works. Decatur shot at it and the ordinance went through the creature’s wing but he continued to fly off apparently unharmed.

    One of my favorite American historical figures shot the Jersey Devil.

    1. Better that than Kenney.

  10. The Minneapolis “death” thing sounds exquisite. I like that the author cried. Well done, Speece, you evil bastard.

  11. Scary? You want scary?

    My last-minute candy buying trip to WalMart meant that I barely made it back home in time to start drinking before the Trick-or-Treaters started showing up! Random kids at my house, and I’m almost sober! Can you imagine the horror of it all? (shudder!)

    I may have to sleep with the night-light on.

  12. Why no credit or call-out to XKCD.com, where the two-pumpkin cartoon came from?

  13. @Ernie the Bear,

    lol, that’s the best “scary” story I have heard in a while. Halloween is a little less than 2 weeks away (maybe exactly 2) either way I think I should start stocking up now so I don’t have to experience that horror haha.

  14. R.I.P. Larry Jon Wilson! I searched for his song sheldon churchyard and it brought me to this page. Thanks for posting this amazing song.

  15. If a preoccupied residence isn’t fear-provoking enough for you, you possibly will try this understanding as an alternative.
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  16. I fail to spot the information in June that the enormous motherland bad temper songster songwriter Larry Jon Wilson approved missing.teachers day greeting

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