Senators Silent on Stagliano Sex Story


The real D.C.

As part of Reason's continuing coverage of the federal obscenity trial of John Stagliano, we decided to find out what our nation's lawmakers think about the issue. All of them. Yesterday, we called every U.S. senator's office to ask them whether the Department of Justice should pursue cases like this, even at the cost of national security (as one FBI agent testified).

We made contact with most of the senators' press secretaries—or at least their voice mail boxes. For a dozen or so, we followed up with emails. We told them our deadline. Most of them said they would get back to us. Every single one them broke that promise.

What's worse is that many of the people we talked to seemed skeptical, confused, or suspicious about why we would want to talk to their senators in the first place. "Is this man from Idaho," asked a staffer from the office of Sen. Mike Crapo (R-Idaho). "Was his business based in Idaho?" The young lady seemed surprised at our contention that a federal legislator should have an opinion on, well, federal law. The closest we got to an answer was Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.), whose press secretary at least engaged in some minimal back-and-forth emailing, which ended abruptly once she established that we were talking about pornography.

So there you have it: Not one senator will stand up for a pornographer's right to produce movies featuring consenting adults spraying bodily fluids on each other. Ninety-nine of them have no excuse for their silence. The other is Robert Byrd. (Too soon?)

Read tons more from Reason on John Stagliano here.

NEXT: All Charges Thrown Out in Stagliano Case!

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  1. That photo is of me.

    1. Makes sense, you being a colossal dick and all.

  2. BwaHa! Robert Byrd! It’s never too soon…

    1. +6.02×10^23

      1. Mongo is a Moleman?

        1. Hopefully he’s currently being tortured in the land of the Molemen.

          1. It’s kind of hard to talk when your vocal cords are being chewed by flaming worms…

      2. Holy mole-y!

        I’ve always thought “Avogadro” would be a good name for a metal band.

        1. I think you’re right about that, WTF…

        2. I would have appreciated that in high school. Now I just think “avocado”.

    2. Byrd just got replaced by the WV governor’s general counsel.

    3. Too soon? Hasn’t he been dead for years?

  3. Thanks for soiling the thread, Max.

    1. Yeah, what the hell. Someone needs a hug today. Why else would they yammer on about the size of their junk in every damn thread?

  4. Not one senator will stand up for a pornographer’s right to produce movies featuring consenting adults spraying bodily fluids on each other. Ninety-nine of them have no excuse for their silence.

    Sure they do. Polling and focus groups take time to do. It’s almost as if you expected members of “The World’s Greatest Deliberative Body” to have principles beyond holding on to office.

    I thought the staff at Reason would know better.

    1. J Sub nails it above.^^^^

  5. Milk isn’t a bodily fluid, you dolts.

    1. No wonder Edward’s such a bitter, resentful dickhead. He was bottle fed.

      1. They were using human milk? No.
        I don’t expect much from a person who eats endangered Antarctic waterfowl.

        1. I’ve never seen his films, Eddie, I have no fucking idea what kind of milk they were using. I thought at least a few of the films dealt with projectile lactation, which would mean human milk. If they were all cow-milk enema films, then you might actually have a point for once.

          And I only eat baked penguin when I can’t get any condor egg omelets.

          1. Hobie Hanson is Dan T, not Edward. You can tell because I ignored him and headed into the bathroom. Once inside, I washed my hand off to remove the blood and took off my stained oxford shirt. I was wearing a tank top underneath. Before I could dry my hands with a paper towel (my thumb was still a bloody mess), there was a knock on the door. It was Otis.

            “It’s okay. He poured the milk. It’s over.”

            I smiled. “It’s over for today, Otis. But we cannot be sure that the transmissions have ceased. There could be more.”

            Otis was silent. I opened the door to find him back behind the counter.

            1. This is why you’re a legend, Warty.

              1. Fucking vampires.

    2. 1. Milk
      2. Milk
      3. Lemonade
      4. Around the corner, fudge is made

      #1 & #2 refer to boobies, so I guess it kinda is a bodily fluid

    3. Milk isn’t a bodily fluid, you dolts.

      Milk at room temperature is a fluid, unless you’re talking about dehydrated milk.

      Milk is excreted from the human body by lactating females through their tits.

      Thus, milk is a bodily fluid.

    4. You seem to be forgetting Storm Squirters 2: Target Practice.

    5. Milk isn’t a bodily fluid, you dolts.

      Thanks tips. He was also on trial for a squirting video. Female ejaculation does involve bodily fluids. Plus, you know there’s the obligatory cum shot in the video somewhere.

  6. Robert Byrd had no problem sticking his fucking name on anything else, I don’t see why he should have a problem with that.

  7. Calling every Senator’s office. Now *that’s* the kind of assignment internships were invented for.

  8. My Washington Monument is bigger than your Washington Monument.

    Just wanted you to know, losers!

  9. I love the way George winks his eyes alternately at night, instead of just winking 1 eye like everybody else.

  10. we decided to find out what our nation’s lawmakers think about the issue. All of them.

    “All of them” does not mean what you think it does. Ever heard of the U.S. House?

    1. That would take way too long. Besides, you go for the higher chamber.

      1. I was criticizing their word choice, not who they chose to poll.

        Change “lawmakers” to “U.S. Senators” and then that sentence makes sense.

        1. I know, I was being deliberately obtuse. Although I’m accidentally obtuse often enough…

  11. Like a sitting senator is going to go on record defending the stuff Stagliano produced.

    1. But Paul, I could easily imagine a Senator taking a principled stance that could hurt their popularity next election cycle.:::chortle:::

    2. But damn, that guy (or gal) would sure get my vote. Assuming that I lived in an alternate universe where a person of such conviction were electable in my state of New York.

  12. My monument has a renovation scaffold holding it up…

    Pornography continues to be the only billion dollar industry without lobbyists.

    1. According tothis they have them* too.

      *technically, not ‘them’ – only one official registered lobbyist.

  13. Chuck Schumer compared talk radio to porn, not that long ago, and made a case for government control of both.

    He was a fuckhead then, and now.

  14. Can’t help but hear Chris Farley as Howell Heflin saying, “That’s a good movie, jurge” in my head.

  15. So that’s how you erect a monument.

  16. Bravo for doing something, but 50 people holding signs saying “Obama is a Cunt” would have accomplished more.

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