Rand Paul, Protecting America!


The Huffington Post has fun with one of those proposals that GOP Senate candidate from Kentucky Rand Paul, son of Ron, is hyping to differentiate himself from those libertarian ideas that apparently are causing him such trouble:

Republican Senatorial candidate Rand Paul wants to build a fence along the U.S.-Mexico border. It's a rather ho-hum proposition in the larger context of conservative ideas—except that Paul wants that fence to be electric and he wants it built underground.

Even Paul's campaign doesn't seem to want to talk much about it:

His website says only the following: "My plans include an underground electric fence, with helicopter stations to respond quickly to breaches of the border." The details of how it would be built, what it would take to make it work and how much it would cost are left unanswered.

Moreover, aides to the Kentucky Republican have refused repeated attempts to explain the idea to the Huffington Post. On June 14, Paul's former spokesman and current campaign manager, Jesse Benton, said he would call the following day to provide further details. He never did.

Useless, expensive, eminent-domain requiring boondoggles like this should not be the concern of a politician running on limited-government principles. Ben Sanders blogged here back in March about the sad fate of the last federal attempt at building portions of an aboveground border fence in Arizona. Read early and often Reason magazine's classic 2006 guide to a sensible, liberty-respecting immigration policy.

NEXT: Reason Morning Links: Honest Services, Private Islands, and a Toronto Police State

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  1. “My plans include an underground electric fence, with helicopter stations to respond quickly to breaches of the border.”

    Why not a moat? Then we could finally get our sharks with frickin’ laser beams on their heads.

    1. Couldn’t enlaserfied sharks clean up the oil spill?

    2. Minefields. They are cheaper.

    3. I propose a land-based naval fleet.

    4. One more libertarian hope turns out to be a moron. Go figure. Goofball shit in, goofball shit out.

      About that moat, how about electric wirses running along the bottom of it? Take the idea to the Rand campaign.

    5. The man is clear in his mind, but his soul is mad. Oh yeah. He’s dying, I think. He hates all this, he hates it!

    6. I think he’s being misinterpreted or misspoke. I think he meant an alert system “with helicopter stations to respond quickly to breaches of the border.”

  2. “My plans include an underground electric fence, with helicopter stations to respond quickly to breaches of the border.”

    Mole People “takin’ our jerbs”?

    1. Actually that would be a great job for Waxman. Stick him underground and leave him there.

  3. LOL, Rand Paul is an idiot, plain and simple.


    1. When you’ve lost anonbot…

  4. But how will we make sure the Mexicans wear their shock collars, Rand?

  5. The details of how it would be built, what it would take to make it work and how much it would cost are left unanswered.

    You fucking dummies; how can we possibly know how it works before we build it? Just as long as it has plenty of flashing lights. And beeps.

    1. Rand is running for the Senate. It sounds to me like he will fit right in.

      1. Naw, it’s Kentucky

        This kind of idea can, and will, fly there. The hillbillies will eat it up.

        1. Maybe the hillbillies will, but the tobacco farmers need mexican labor to get their crop in.

          1. Joke in KY from a few years back:

            The KY National Guard was going to be sent to the Mexican Border (I think this was during the Arizona “crisis” with that group whose name I cant remember). Local response was, “So they are sending them to Shelbyville?”

            1. Shelby County being Kentucky’s border with Mexico, you see.

              1. I don’t think you got the joke Rob. Is Shelbyville known for having a large Mexican population? If so, the joke was “why send them to the “border” when the border has already come here”.

                1. Um, yeah, thats the joke.

                  Hence it being KY’s border with Mexico.

                  1. John,

                    You do realize that KY doesnt really have a border with Mexico, thus the secondary joke about Shelby Co being the border is because of the high mexican population….oh nevermind.

                    1. I thought it was a funny joke.

          2. BTW, Conway is from Louisville, so he will get approximately zero votes in the mountains.

          3. But that’s why its perfect. Everyone knows they only smuggle drugs through underground tunnels, not people.

  6. a politician running on limited-government principles

    I am 100% for open immigration. But objecting to closed immigration proponents on “limited-government principles” is simply balderdash. It’s like objecting to an eminent domain expansion of an army base on “limited-government principles”.

    1. The issue is that the border fence itself must run through what is now private property.

      1. And it would still be private property. Just with an easement. Like for sewers or underground power lines or cable tv or crazy underground border fences.

        1. Or underground fences.

      2. Sure, but that’s not really a “limited-government principles” issue. That’s an issue of determining if the policy to be executed is worthwhile and thus justifies the taking.

        There was a reason article last year about a proposed taking in Colorado. Same story. The landowners weren’t debating the right to do the taking. They were debating the justification for the need to do the taking.

  7. Correct me if I’m wrong, but wouldn’t an electrified underground fence suffer from the fact that it would always be grounded?

    1. Underground power lines are electrified and function just fine.

      1. Yeah, but they’re insulated, which is counter to how I think an electric fence is supposed to work.

        1. Its not an electric fence – see the other comments.

    2. I think that he probably means that there will some sort of sensor net in place, not an actual fence. Hence the helicopter relay station portion of the statement.

      Illegals break the plane, and it sets off a signal in some command bunker somewhere that scatters the Apaches on some hunter-killer mission.

      1. Those choppers are going to be chasing down a lot of deer and cows in Texas.

        1. That’s what I was thinking.

        2. It’s the government. What else do you expect?

  8. LOL this Rand Paul guy is turning out to be a national embarrassment for the douchetarian cause.

    1. Looks like Tony is hot for some of that Rand Paul man-meat. Welcome to the fun side, Tony! And call me some time!

  9. wouldn’t an electrified underground fence suffer from the fact that it would always be grounded?

    They’re just *calling it* an electrified underground fence; it’s really a force field. And a death ray.

    1. And a tractor beam.

      1. It’s the mother fucking Death Star…just underground. And awesomer.

        1. I velive the technical term is Death Hole.

          1. No. That’s Hillary’s snatch

  10. Tony, are you upset about something?

  11. I understand that turning weak libertarians against teabaggy candidates and keeping the Palin-cooties off yourselves is more important than laws and shit (because look what Tony said!), but Paul’s opponent is an Attorney General (that’s a prosecutor) whose big “issues” are imprisoning doctors who prescribe pain medication and stopping the internet from raping Southern babies.
    Weigh it, maybe.

    1. That leads to a good question? Why all the Rand posts and none on Conway so far?

      Since there isnt a libertarian in the race, which seems to be the point of the posts, why arent they covered equally?

      1. Why all the Rand posts

        Fuels Edward posts, which the editors seem addicted to for some perverse reason.

    2. How about voting Libertarian like I always do?

  12. Would an underground fence require ED? I dont see it. An above ground fence would. Below ground would just require easements for maintenance.

    1. Easements require title modifications and is still ED. A less disruptive ED, but ED nonetheless.

      1. Yeah, I was going to point that out, but I thought everyone knew what I meant. Not NY State style ED, which an above ground fence would require.

        And really, as far as these things go, I dont think I have much problem with an easement along the border (Rand’s idea is stupid however).

        As much as I oppose ED as a concept at all, if its going to be used – military bases, roads and an easement at the border all seem reasonable.

        1. If you have ED you should contact your doctor, and see if Cialis? is right for you.

    2. Even better would be an invisible underground fence. You won’t even know it is there. My company would be happy to take the no-bid contract.

      Just call me at “Emperor’s New Fence, LLC.”

      1. You’re going to have to come up with a new name, as Invisible Fence is already the name of a very successful product.

  13. Maybe I’m just dense this morning, but humor me: What does “an underground fence” mean? A fence in a trench? Because I hear “underground fence” and imagine digging a ditch, dropping in a fence, and covering it back up. That would, of course, be less-than-effective.

    1. It would be for detection of a breech, not to physically stop anyone. That is my guess.

      A beep in a command center goes off “border crossing in Delta quadrant!”

      1. I was thinking they were after the tunnellers, but this makes better sense.

      2. Wouldn’t that “beep” basically turn into a vuvuzela drone noise slowly driving the BP guys deaf and insane or deaf/insane?

        1. British Petroleum?

          Oh, Border Patrol. I actually was typing “Petroleum” before I figured out what BP stood for. 🙂

          Possibly, which would lead to them using the attack copters effectively to stop the damn noise.

          1. effectively?

            That cant possibly be the word I mean. One of you writer types (Fluffy?) – what word did I mean? Math ez, words hard.

            1. expeditiously? aggressively? often?

            2. My suggestions eaten by the spam filter. Spam filter doesn’t like single words followed by question marks repeated 3 times.

      3. Not that an actual fence would physically stop anyone, either.

        1. Actually, they do. The portions of the border where they’ve been built see a big drop in crossings. They’re not 100%, but you can’t say they don’t work.

  14. I figure he means a underground electric “virtual” fence that would alert the border gaurds that someone passed over it. I doubt he means a fence that zap’s people.

  15. The real problem is Rand Paul’s refusal to explain himself.

    He had a perfect opportunity to explain himself in the Civil Rights gaffe, yet didn’t. Got mocked for it.

    Now he’s got a perfect opportunity to explain himself here, and isn’t. I predict that he will be mocked.

    1. He explained himself in the CRA thing perfectly fine. Hell, he explained it before the primary in his interview with the C-J. There was no gaffe.

      This, on the other hand, is stupid.

    2. Right, because his big problem is the huge Kentucky readership of HuffPo.

      1. Yes, that is precisely his problem actually. Huffington Post is like the Matt Drudge of the left, only far more irresponsible.

  16. Hah, hah, I beat TheOtherSomeGuy and sam by 2 minutes.

  17. Max|6.24.10 @ 3:29PM|#

    Go suck ron puals dick, morons. You peeple are fucking retarded. I`m done coming to this wingnut sight. this is my last post.

    1. And the peasants rejoiced.

  18. Is there any chance that this is some kind of elaborate gag where to make it look like he cares about illegal immigration, Paul is proposing stupid shit with no chance to happen?

    “Let’s get rid of birthright citizenship!” That will never happen without an amendment.

    If I was running for Senate and wanted to trick the fundies into thinking I was on their side, I might say something like “We should deal with abortion with a constitutional amendment!” Since I know that can never happen, it’s a cheap way for me to make it look like I’m on their side without having any risk their policy aim will actually be met.

    Maybe he’s doing that here? Maybe? …Maybe?

    1. Well, based on his Dad, Im guessing he probably really does oppose abortion and immigration. But, the only constitutional solutions are things that arent going to happen, but he suggests them to get the vote.

      So partly, yes. Partly no.

    2. you’re right. keep it simple. make them read those daft books you either write or review. that’ll scare any humanoid from coming to the states. in fact it’s making me want to renounce my citizenship and move back to scotland.

      1. Please move back. You were never wanted here to begin with.

  19. fuck that. dig giant ditches on the border. fill it with water. put a whole bunch of salt crocs in there. or shut down access around the border and put tons of death adders in the desert.

    it’ll make the illegals think twice before they come over here. imagine walking through the desert and you run into an inland adder. would absolutely suck so bad.

    i still i’m in awe that reason gives a thumb up to exploiting illegal immigrants as cheap labor. you also take in other unsavory things that come with illegal immigration. like child smuggling for sick pervs.

    yay reason! for not using reasoning!

    1. Right. We never tried that in Texas. The slang term “wet-back” came from nowhere.

      1. you must have overlooked the giant saltwater crocodile part. they’re pretty terrifying and if you know they’re in the water it’s a scary prospect.

        it’s a little unconventional, but mexicans will know even santeria or mexican black magic voodoo aint gonna save them from the death roll. i saw one a few years back and jesus christ. those things are huge.

    2. Your idea would only be slightly less plausible if it involved the Batman.

      1. how about we do this. instead of all of the above. we’ll just hand them copies of “last days of jericho” book. that’ll bore their tits off and make them less likely to pursue the american dream.

        1. That works for me, since you’d have to buy them in order to give them out.

          I don’t care if every last illegal immigrant personally drives by my house in their Beverly Hillbillies truck and yells, “You boring gringo! You suck!” as long as I get my check.

          1. you want me to cater to your sensibilities and be politically correct, or in the words of kenny powers hit you up, “with some fucking truth”?

            hispanics are more than likely out of any other group of people to be obese and diabetic. i don’t know if you’ve ever noticed this. they don’t exactly grow high, but they expand in the waste. their metabolic rate is not suitable for the foods they take in here.

            it’s mean yes, but it’s the truth yes.

            i’m sure you just have loads of them up in vermont land. a breeding ground for illegal hispanics.

            btw, why don’t we get the hot ones from like argentina. i’ve been down there and some of them are so fucking hot it’s hard not to get a boner. we get the short hairy ones. in 50 years we’ll be the ugliest country in the world.

            1. My cousin on a trip to Mexico said something similar to his buddy he was with. As his buddy explained to him the hot ones don’t have to emmigrate from Mexico as they have their way paid for them one way or another by sugardaddies, modeling or what have you.

              1. i would more than welcome the hot bitches n hoes here, but 99% of these illegal mexican women are absolute total trash. which makes me not understand how anyone would fuck them so many times that they have like 10 children. it’s beyond me. way beyond.

            2. Oh, I get it, you are an idiot. Sorry I responded to you earlier.

              1. well now that wasn’t an awful lot to get now was it. i’m an idiot.

                btw, no need to apologize for responding earlier. it’s all forgiven.

          2. Ah- I never clicked on your name before, Fluffy. The Roman/zombie book sounds great, and got awesome reviews on Amazon. I believe I will surreptitiously read it on my iPhone while pretending to work.

            1. he wrote all those reviews. it’s shite fluffy absolutely wide cunt madness shite.

              i’d rather read the choose your own adventure books than roman zombie books.

              1. I am totally blurbing that for the back cover of my “Balko vs. Serial Killer” book.

                Critical Praise for De Bello Lemures:

                …it’s shite…absolutely wide cunt madness shite.

                illegal people, Reason Magazine

                Oh, and thank you, Dagny!

                1. weird. i’m getting ready to release a suspense thriller called “fluffy touching albert fish’s privates”

                  we should release the books on the same date and see whose book sales better.

        2. it is too bad that liberal policies closed the gold window and moved us forward to global socialism. otherwise by now, the rich would have helped the poor instead of throwing their rights overboard for a police state

    3. Exploiting illegal immigrants for cheap labor? Last time I checked no one was making anyone work.

      1. when was the last time you checked? was it a day ago? a week ago?

        last time i checked you have advocacy groups for the illegal who say they’re being exploited. i don’t know who to believe you, reason (advocates child smuggling) or those advocacy groups. i’m confused :S

        1. You ate paint chips as a child, didn’t you?

          1. nope! but i did eat your mom’s tuna flaps. it was good. just put a bit of mayo on it and be done with it.

            yum yum yum

            1. “illegal people” is considerably less funny than it thinks it is.

              1. coming in from channel…1 9 9 9…

                i’m not an “it” i’m a person. i have feelings i’ll have you know.

                you’re quite right, i’m not very funny. i’m as bland as offbrand butter.

      2. Mexicans, maybe. People that escaped from less pleasant regimes that would face going back, might be a different case.

    4. i still i’m in awe that reason gives a thumb up to exploiting illegal immigrants as cheap labor.

      Legalizing all economic migration: two thumbs up.

      Not kidnapping, imprisoning, and deporting economic migrants against their will: one thumb up.

      1. how about instead of jailing them we just take them to guadalupe island island in the fall and feed them to the breeding great white sharks.

        these are reasonable common sense solutions. when word gets out that frito burrito was torn limb to limb by some nasty whities…nobody will bother trying to come to the states illegally.

        1. Maybe they should be educated in schools that aren’t doomed to fail. Perhaps that would be a good policy (Bush already suggested it)

    5. I don’t think reason is for illegal immigration. But they have the quite reasonable idea that the best way to make illegal immigration less of a problem is to allow people who want to immigrate to immigrate, rather than making more laws that cannot or will not be enforced.

      1. you’re right. so along with the illegals will chum up for the whities, we’ll throw reason in there. first one into the water!!!

        walk the plank welch.

  20. My proposal would be to use regenerated raptors on the boarder. Of course, we would need to put an end to the lever handled doors.

    1. Slather the border with Grey Goo.

  21. Let’s face it, the wall isn’t to stop illegal immigration. It’s to finally block our view of that property owned by our southern neighbor. What an eyesore.

  22. yay reason! for not using reasoning!

    Much too early; that one goes in the DRINK! bank.

  23. you have advocacy groups for the illegal who say they’re being exploited.

    We all know how deeply concerned the SEIU is about maltreatment of immigrant laborers.

    1. i’m not referring to the SEIU. i would have shared, but since you took that stab in the dark i’m laying on my floor dying. soon i’ll lose all my blood.


    1. weigel is a tosser. he thinks he’s from england, has a stu stu stuttering problem and not to mention is one portly piece of shit.

      in response to his remarks on rush for having a heart attack…weigel pal, you’ll be there in 10 years if you keep it up.

      1. I can’t believe you’d make light of stuttering. F U.

        1. i could have made light of your piss poor tattoos. you know the needle sets are a lot more sophisticated as it the quality of work. like realism and those sort of things. i also could have made fun of you for posing in a fedora for myspace. wind yer neck in. geez.

          give that ink the cyrax 6 treatment. since a lot of it is black pigments it’ll come right out. that red however will take many sessions.

          d ddd doo dooo you follow me.

      2. “you’ll be there in 10 years if you keep it up.”

        He keeps me up for hours on end with his sucking and licking and sucking and licking and sucking and licking and sucking and licking and sucking and licking and sucking and licking and sucking and licking…

  25. After watching the spanish-speaking baby factory behind me in line at Ralph’s this morning (I was buying grapefruits for breakfast) hand the cashier a WIC check as I was leaving, I can’t say I’m all that upset with this idea, though I’d much prefer to address the welfare state problem instead…

  26. Nevertheless, considering his opponent, I still hope he wins. We all know the “electrified fence” won’t happen anyway. It’s just a case of a politician trying to sound technological and failing miserably.

  27. The Huffington Post is only now talking about something that has been on Rand Paul’s website since June of 2009? Losers.

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