Terrorism

Al Qaeda's Clown College

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Daniel Byman and Christine Fair reveal "the quiet truth" about jihadists: while their "leaders and recruiters can be lethally subtle and manipulative," the foot soldiers are often "foolish and untrained, perhaps even untrainable." After offering a bunch of examples—along with an aside exploring the purportedly pious fighters' appetite for porn and bestiality—the writers conclude:

THE THIRD GENERATION is my favorite Fassbinder movie.

Current U.S. public diplomacy centers on selling America to the Muslim world, but we should also work to undermine some of the myths built up around our enemies by highlighting their incompetence, their moral failings, and their embarrassing antics. Beyond changing how the Muslim world perceives terrorists, we can help ourselves make smarter counterterrorism choices by being more realistic about the profile and aptitude of would-be attackers. More and more, as we work to disrupt training efforts, the jihadists we face are likely to be poorly prepared, and while that won't always ensure a bungled attack, it suggests that terrorists are likely to select targets that are undefended and easy to hit. The United States has spent billions on port security since 9/11, even though terrorists have shown little interest in ports as targets and even less ability to actually strike them. In contrast, even small investments in training for police and airport-security personnel can make a big difference, as these are the people most likely to encounter–and have a chance to disrupt–an unskilled attacker.

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  1. “Why Does Herr Al-Qatab Run Amok?” would have been better alt-text. Shame, Jesse.

    1. I would also humbly submit Al Qaeda Qlass Qlowns for the title, just to push it a little more over the top.

      1. err, Al Qaeda Qlown Qolledge

    2. Or at least something referring to the Insane Clown Posse.

  2. Fassbinder was a pioneer in the portrayal of juggalos, foreseeing their rise before they ever came on the scene.

    In contrast, even small investments in training for police and airport-security personnel can make a big difference, as these are the people most likely to encounter–and have a chance to disrupt–an unskilled attacker.

    That’s it! Just equate terrorists to juggalos, and security services will treat them with the contempt they deserve.

    1. Fassbinder was a pioneer in the portrayal of juggalos, foreseeing their rise before they ever came on the scene.

      Well, he was into the whole gay S&M scene, so you shouldn’t be surprised.

      1. After some thought, I realized I should apologize to any reading this who are involved in the gay S&M scene. Being compared to juggalos was insulting and unfair. Again, you have my deepest regrets.

        1. I didn’t say anything because you needed to come to this realization yourself.

    2. “Fuckin’ terrorism; how does it work?”

    3. Juggalos are one of the few fan groups beyond ridicule. Even if you’re a lover of schlock, ICP’s shit is so fucking stupid you would have to huff paint to enjoy it. Anyone that sits in his bedroom with headphones on bobbing his head to this sonic diarrhea needs individualized therapy and support.

      Speaking of which, my copy of their feature film “Big Money Hustlas” just arrived in the mail.

  3. along with an aside exploring the purportedly pious fighters’ appetite for porn and bestiality

    Oh Warty, why did you have to go onto their side?

  4. This month, I crunched the numbers for death statistics. (What can I say? I’m a math geek.) For the decade starting in 2000, Americans faced the following death tolls:

    Lighting Strikes:
    600

    Hyperhydration:
    3,000

    9/11, Iraq, and Afghanistan combined:
    8,160

    The War on Drug:
    20,000

    Drowning:
    33,000

    Fireworks:
    300,000

    Chronic Lower Respiratory Diseases:
    1,250,000

    Heart Disease:
    6,300,000

    It sort of puts things in perspective. Terrorists have no chance of destroying our society. Our only risk is the damage we cause ourselves from an over reaction.

    1. Holy shit. 3,000 people overdosed on water? That dihydrogen monoxide email I got wasn’t joking. We need more federal regulation…

      1. That’s why BP replacing our oceans with aromatic hydrocarbons is a good thing.

    2. 300K dead from fireworks?

      1. Oh Dang. I misread the source. It’s 70 deaths from fireworks and 300,000 fires. Thanks for catching that.

  5. Here’s the juicy part:

    The Taliban and al-Qaeda rely on sympathizers who consider them devoted Muslims fighting immoral Western occupiers. But intelligence picked up by Predator drones and other battlefield cameras challenges that idea?sometimes rather graphically. One video, captured recently by the thermal-imagery technology housed in a sniper rifle, shows two Talibs in southern Afghanistan engaged in intimate relations with a donkey. Similar videos abound, including ground-surveillance footage that records a Talib fighter gratifying himself with a cow.

    I think I spy an easter egg for the next COD game.

    1. Hey man, once you’ve had a cow you’ll never go back!

      1. Thats why the Indians refuse to give up Kashmir.

    2. How do the writers think that detracts from them being devoted Muslims? Maybe if they were with pigs or dogs I could see that.

  6. At first, when I saw the picture I thought it would be an article about this.

  7. Daniel Byman and Christine Fair reveal “the quiet truth” about jihadists: while their “leaders and recruiters can be lethally subtle and manipulative,” the foot soldiers are often “foolish and untrained, perhaps even untrainable.”

    Of course. Anyone with any brains is not likely to willingly go out and commit suicide to further the interests and power of the leaders. How come the elite doesn’t go blow themselves to bits? The faithful (dumb) never seem to ask that question.

    1. Yes. One’s enthusiasm for a suicide bombing mission depends heavily on who will be wearing the vest.

  8. we should also work to undermine some of the myths built up around our enemies by highlighting their incompetence, their moral failings, and their embarrassing antics.

    But that would be racist, right?

    1. Someone should reprogram the video game Donky Kong, adding Muslim characters who try to fuck the donkey. You get points if you prevent their success.

      1. This sort of thing is going to get you in trouble one day, Senator.

  9. There is such a thing as a “fanatical and highly organized” legion of dipshits. The YEAH WAR! types I know consider it fortunate (and temporary) that that’s who the YEAH WAR! is against.

    But we all need a straw “us” to set ourselves against, don’t we?

    Tawdry though this predilection for porn may be, it is not necessarily trivial. There is, after all, potential propaganda value in this kind of jihadist behavior.

    That quote precedes the stuff excerpted above. Which makes that stuff really fucking stupid.

    Martyrs are stronger martyr-figures, psychologically, if they must be forgiven?especially if they’re forgiven dishonestly, says Freud, who’s right about this kind of thing. See any dead Kennedy.

    1. Martyrs are stronger martyr-figures, psychologically, if they must be forgiven…

      That’s because it makes them seem more “human”, someone the rest of us can identify with – that is to say, flawed. Most people really don’t like anyone they consider a better person than themselves. Consider the pass Bill Clinton used to get – even from the feminist crowd.

      1. Moreover, consider the porn-addicted implications for their thesis. They seek to overthrow the tainted West because the West’s powerful media organs (no pun intended) corrupt otherwise good Muslims. Its like vindicating their actions… they are flawed and too weak to resist the temptation of flesh and therefore they must destroy those the peddle flesh temptations.

    2. BTW, I used to read Freud a great many years ago, but I don’t remember that. I don’t even remember the title of the book he wrote about gods and religious belief; never got to read that one either.

  10. Portray the terrorists as goofy right-wing libertarians. That will sink their reputation both in the Muslim world and here.

    1. I don’t remember how the rest of it goes, but your mother’s a whore.

    2. If we portrayed the terrorists as members of Congress, the world would want to get rid of them as fast as possible.

      1. Except they’d keep re-electing them.

    3. Portray the terrorists as bats mating with pigs. Then Warty will beat off to them and they’ll be shamed into suicide.

    4. If you’d stop sticking your computer mouse up your ass, you wouldn’t have to keep buying so many, Max. Even though to try and lick them clean.

    5. Leave Max alone. He’s only quoting the Secret Leftist Playbook? and accurately stating what Team Blue tries to do about everything lately, most especially their own failings.

      1. Painting the terrorists as right wing libertarians? Reminds me of certain Bloomberg quotes days after their attempts to blow up a block of Times Square.

  11. If the terrorists are widely believed to be incompetent oafs, it’s going to be very hard to justify the latest restriction on freedom in the name of protecting us from them. So yes, if you are concerned with actually weakening terrorist organizations and strengthening our country, then the best response to terrorists is to ignore or mock them in general, while casting a very narrow net for the few who are actually dangerous.

    Surprisingly, I don’t think the main concern of the powers that be is actually weakening terrorism — it’s gaining more power for themselves.

  12. In contrast, even small investments in training for police and airport-security personnel can make a big difference, as these are the people most likely to encounter–and have a chance to disrupt–an unskilled attacker.

    Wait, what? What the heck have we’ve doing with the TSA all this time then?

    1. Umm, real people, not cops and TSA goons, are even more likely to encounter and deal with an unskilled attacker. I suggest that our best investment is in the unorganized militia, and that we go with a nationwide EZ concealed carry program, and a federal pre-emption of restrictive gun control laws.

      1. In Israel one reason the PLO gave up sending in terrorists with AKs was that the terrorists got immediately lit up by every man, woman and vendor on the street.

  13. Bush, Kristol, Cliff May, et al. are certainly scared shitless of these “clowns”.

  14. I wonder even about these “leaders”. If they are so dead-set on forcing us into the “caliphate” or whatever-the-fuck, they don’t seem to be making much of an effort at it. If they were serious they could be causing a great deal of damage in this country right now; it’s chock-a-block with soft targets.

    1. Right you are. And how competent does one have to be to phone in bomb threats to, say, Yankee Stadium during every game? That this easy stuff isn’t happening a hundred times every day demonstrates the infintesimal number of terrorists out to disrupt us.

  15. Al Quaida- come for the weapons training, stay for the donkey-fucking.

  16. For those outside the government/DoD nexus you really have no idea just how true this is. Lets just say Mr. Ayers skill level as a terrorist is roughly par for the course.

  17. Hey, did you know you can sneak any weapon onto any internaional airport. Think not. Workers are not screened. Yea, that’s right they aren’t screened. So at O’Hara thousands of airport workers, janitors, clerks, etc, etc. So what’s to stop an so called terrorist getting a job as a janitor and as you know if you’re waiting in the connecting departure lounge to catch another plane you don’t have to go thru the seach, so guns are what have you can be exchanged in the rest room and the rest is history. This was told to me by American Airline personel and everyone knows. So, now what do you think about our security in airports

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