Supreme Court

Scalia, Breyer, and Kagan: Just Friends

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Say what you will about the conservative jurisprudence of Justice Antonin Scalia, but this is pretty funny:

Justice Antonin Scalia says Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan has at least two friends on the high court: Scalia and Justice Stephen Breyer.

Scalia offered the comment while before a House Judiciary subcommittee on Thursday.

Scalia and Breyer were there to talk about the Administrative Conference of the United States. Scalia was chairman and Breyer served as a Senate liaison for the regulation-studying body.

House Judiciary Chairman John Conyers said he had a question but that staff had warned him it was out of bounds.

Scalia responded, "Mr. Chairman, we're both friends of Elena Kagan, and I don't think we're willing to go beyond that." People at the hearing laughed.

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  1. Friends with legal benefits?

  2. As a person Scalia is pretty much an elitist jackass. But he is funny.

    1. Apparently his wife is too (or else he’s doubly a funny elitist jackass for making up this story), since according to his own speeches, when he came downstairs the morning after his pro-First Amendment vote on flag burning, he was greeted with the sight of his wife humming “It’s a Grand Old Flag” whilst scrambling eggs.

    2. This is true. His elitism is truly astonishing. His closedmindedness and his utter unshakable confidence in his own rectitude on all matters legal, historical, and moral is quite frightening.

      Thank god he happens to stumble across the right answer once in a while like a tired blind man accidentally tripping and landing in bed.

  3. Dogwhistle!!! He’s implying that she likes pussy!

  4. Huh. That seems more sexually liberated than I’d expect from justices. Do they get together regularly for these sexual encounters and is this the reason for Kagan’s nomination?

  5. Again no alt-text. And with Scalia doing a classic Nixon pose. What a waste.

    1. Maybe those are air quotes. “We’re both ‘friends’ of Elena Kagan….”

  6. What am I missing that makes that quote so funny?

  7. The elites of both parties are so chummy with one another! That is so refreshing! It will put a glam smile on the faces of your cable channel news babes when they report how Scalia loves him some Kagan, for sure.

    Friends! We’re all friends here!

    And before a subcommittee on what exactly? A Administrative Conference of the United States? To -? To do some ‘regulation-studying’!

    Why, with that ‘new professionalism’ and all, I’m sure we are in good hands with all of that.

    1. Yes. There is only one smile, and yes, they all share it.

  8. Can you imagine Sotomayor making any kind of joke like that? She has a perpetual bitch face.

    1. Yeah. Kind of like Greg Gutfeld’s, but more masculine.

  9. Yes, Antonin, what this country needs is a court that represents the diversity of this great nation, that’s why we need a third god awful horrific ugly leftist lesbian, because, well, one third of the U.S. population is comprised of god awful horrific ugly lesbians. Amazing how we even manage to breed at all.

    This seems like a perfect time to salute those patriots who manufacture our durable reusable USA made paper sacks.

    1. Don’t be mad that those are the only ones who will be your fag hags.

      1. BAZING!

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