Alcohol

Because Britons Were Such Responsible Drinkers Before the Law

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In 2003, the Labour-controlled parliament in the United Kingdom passed the Licensing Act, allowing pubs to potentially stay open 24 hours, provided they could convince a local licensing board that an open-all-night establishment wouldn't cause social unrest. For those who spent time in England prior to the legislation (or just after the outbreak of World War I), you will recall the 11pm last orders which resulted in short sessions of furious drinking and the traditional "lock in." The Telegraph reports that, under the new ConDem government, those days might be returning:

Theresa May, the Home Secretary, said she is determined to examine problems created by the "binge-drinking culture", including street violence and other crimes.

Speaking at the Police Federation conference, she said she opposed the 2003 Licensing Act when it was introduced by the previous administration.

Questioned by a police officer in the audience about the problems caused by heavy drinking, Mrs May confirmed that a review is under way.

She said: "We are going to look at the licensing laws. I was in opposition when the new laws were introduced and I argued against them.

"I argued that those were the sorts of problems that would come about but I was told we would have a cafe culture. We think they have produced problems on the streets.

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  1. That picture’s actually pretty modest compared to some I’ve seen out of that area.

    1. this picture is less modest, but still safe for work: http://img340.imageshack.us/im…..ammadi.jpg

      1. THIS PICTURE IS STILL LESS MODEST BUT ALSO STILL SAFE FOR WORK: RULE, BRITANNICA!

        1. That’ll put some lead in the old pencil.

          1. IN A BETTER, HAPPIER WORLD, PRINCE CHARLES MARRIED HER, IMMEDIATELY RESULTING IN THE RESTORATION OF THE EMPIRE.

            1. So how fucked am I if i want to live in one of Urk’s fantasies?

      2. Nope, doesn’t look like me.

        Try again. 🙂

        1. here is a pic of you brownnose: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wi…..70×580.jpg

          1. ..ah, for the elevated discourse of interfaith dialogue and the sure efficacy of emoticons for conveying goodwill!

          2. Put a turbin on that and you may have the winner.

      3. looks like imageshack was too chickenshit to host my picture, so here is the new link: http://allyourspeecharebelongtous.tk/

    2. If that was real I would have expected hers legs to be splayed apart, hopefully with no panties, and at least one boobical dangling unsupported.

  2. These people drink through their fucking eyeballs:

    http://news.scotsman.com/alcoh…..2552924.jp

  3. “Can you smell me now?”

    1. “That roofie kicked in faster than I thought.”

    2. “Can someone help me with my friend? She saw The Jacket and fainted dead away.”

    3. Anybody got a hammer and nail? If she lies down, she’ll just puke on the dress I loaned her.

  4. RE: the picture. Britain’s finest. 🙂

    Almost all pubs still close at 11 or 12 (which is fucking gayyyyyyyyyyyyy). Violent street crime is down I believe, and I doubt brits are binging anymore than before.

    Amusingly I saw a paralytically intoxicated middle-aged woman being carried home by her husband at about 6pm a few saturdays back. She was unable to walk and after falling down several times began to vomit. Didn’t stay around to see if she pissed her self too … 😉

    Hopefully later drinking hours will encourage them to eat dinner before going out on the lash. Yeah, yeah, I know – “eatin’s cheatin’.”

    1. You left your mother on the street? 😉

      1. DB, I wiped the shit of your Dirty Balls. Where the hell do you think you got the name? Next time, hold my hair!

        1. WTF? where’d you come from, asshole?
          Oh, yeah, I guess so.

      2. Oh dudes, it worse than that too. Now there was the time with the two polish girls …

          1. As always, I must intercede and explain that you have the wrong Cooper. This is Agent Cooper, not the hijacker.

            1. Meh, I fail to see the difference.

          2. Northwest Orient

        1. We tell you about it! This db, he told us all “Yankee like wankee.” Impressed, we were not with tentacles he has.

  5. The way I remember it, was drinking up time was 11am to 2:30pm and 5pm to 10pm in pubs & 11pm for hotels. Resturants could serve as long as there was food on the table. The Clyde ferry could open its bar from the time the lines were cast off to the time the ferry moured on the other side. So, being drunk lot of sailors, on more than one day off and after the pubs closed at 2:30pm, we’d ride the ferry back & forth between Dunoon and Gourock until 5 so we could continue to drink through the day.

    1. We want what we want.

  6. All khamr is haram, and no man free of khamr can jack to pictures of British women, but that one on the right would look good headless.

    BEHEAD THOSE WHO LOOK BETTER LIKE THAT

    1. Keep doing that. It’s not old.

  7. And here I thought the Licensing Act was how they got Henry Fielding off the stage.

  8. Britain, like Russia, has always been a place where people get fall-down drunk all the time. I don’t know why. But people have been pointing this out for several hundred years.

    1. Grey-ass weather maybe? Or because they know their wives are growing fatter by the second? There’s got to be some stereotype that connects the habit btw the two nations.

  9. As a practicing Muslim, I do not support drinking. But I do enjoy easy British women.

    What is a halal Mon Cal supposed to do?

    1. Beware of crabs!

      1. It’s the clap!

  10. RE: the pic, the way you play that situation is you got to go for the one on the left. The key is to separate her from the one on the right and then you’re home free for the night.

    1. Women travel like fleets, so my naval expertise may be quite useful. If I can seperate a Star Destroyer from its TIE Fighters, I can seperate two drunken women!

      1. Akbar, I’ve long wanted to commend your bravery. Even when it looked to us all as if those shields were never coming down you hung in there…

        1. What can I say? Before I was an admiral, I was a wingman.

          1. MNG, “you got to go for the one on the left” So, you’re saying only a girl who is falling down dead-drunk, would fuck you?

            1. What a grasp of logic one has to make that conclusion…

              1. The means of access is to separate her from the girl who is sober enough to care for her friend and then you can easily fuck a dead-drunk girl. WTF, did I miss? Or maybe you think jokes about raping woman are funny?

                1. Is this the part where, because I’m a liberal, I’m supposed to fall in line with PC caricatures of liberals be horrified at my comments? Please, get a sense of humor.

                  1. No, this is the part where you (Mr Nice Guy) should know better.

                  2. As I read your comment I suspected you of triangulation.

                    First: A giddy up comment alluding to a date rape scenario, intended obviously, to show the “guys” you ain’t one of them there panty waist liberals.

                    Second: You are very smart Mr. Guy, and you realized that someone* would call you out on your comment. Whereby, you could show that even libertarians and commenters on libertarian sites were just as uptight as anyone else. Liberals included.

                    *I am not sure whether “Ana Lyse” is a real commenter or just a device for your machinations.

                    Third: PC caricatures this is what gave you away Mr. Guy, if that is your real name. You know that the people on this site depend greatly on their over-exaggerated views of the opposition, everybody in other words. You used this to dispute our sense of humor which is validated in the “Mohammed” and “Free Inquiry” threads.

                    As Implied, your pre-game was to discredit us with false posts. These false posts would describe obscene, and graphic descriptions of a religious prophet. Once these were banned, for their incindenary (impossible word to spell, sorry)content you would move in…and implement your plan.

                    As your plan has been successful in eliminating those threads and your scheme to divert blame as well, I bid you adieu Mr. Guy. When we meet again, though, it will be I who suppresses the thread, and wins the day.

                    In conclusion, the jig is up, Mr. Guy.

                    Check Mate.

                    1. No, this is checkmate:

                      http://www.motifake.com/image/…..086827.jpg

                    2. Dude, I was making a joke, one most guys would laugh at and not take seriously. Most…

                    3. Rape: Still not funny, in any incarnations.

                    4. Just picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd and tell me that again. (apologies to George Carlin)

                    5. Yes, because my post was all business, Mr Guy. I intend to alert the proper authorities immediately.

  11. . . .is what you need.

  12. Do all British women dress like its prom night circa 1987?

    1. Well, they probably are from the north.

      London is not much better when it comes to the high street types.

      1. When a British person says “from the North” or “from up North” does that usually mean Scotland? I ask because of a line from the very first episode of the new Doctor Who series**.

        **IMHO far better than the classic ones with the exception of Tom Baker’s era.

        1. No. It generally means northern England, as in Newcastle etc.

          1. Thanks. That episode was the first time I had heard heard the phrase the used that wasy and Christopher Eccleston is from Scotland so I thought that may be what was meant.

            Thanks!

        2. “Up North” = north of the Watford Gap, which for some reason is 90% of England.

          1. Christ, didn’t realise it was everything north of Watford.

          2. So it’s like Manahattanites who think Yonkers is ‘Upstate’

  13. Those can’t be limey girls. At least one looks like she has straight teeth.

    1. I thought impaired dentition was a turn on for you, Epi-dural. So, you are saying you would molester only one of these unfortunate gin nymphs?

  14. What? No alt-text?

    1. If there was ever a time for some alt-text…

    2. FAIL

  15. I’ll sell you this little chippy for three quid, mate.

  16. Great photo!

    I lived in london for a year, and I saw that stuff ALL THE TIME. And yes, the birds do get tarted up like its prom night 1987. Men arent much better, particularly if they’re ‘clubbing’. They would embarrass guidos. And thats saying a lot. I remember asking one girl how her bat-mitzvah went… the joke didnt play of course, and explaining it would have gotten me glassed* or kicked in the nuts anyway.

    (* this reminded me of the exchange with the inventor of the ‘unbreakable beer glass’ on NPR… the dry humor comes across really well =
    http://www.npr.org/templates/s…..=123418418

    SIEGEL: Now if I were at a pub and my friends started getting -let’s say, they had several too many, and looked like they were getting obstreperous, if the pub served them their next round in new glasses, would they know that or could you insinuate the new unbreakable glass without somebody realizing that they have been, well, someone’s looked askance at them?

    Mr. KESTER: Well, the interesting thing is when they’re served a drink in these, what you might say is almost like a 21st century version of a pint glass, they won’t be able to tell the difference. There are some small things, what they can do, you could easily put RFID tags between the two layers of glass. So, for instance, if somebody poured a particular amber nectar into your glass and then you went back to have that refilled, it could tell the barman which drink went into which glass.

    SIEGEL: Ah, this would help the customer…

    Mr. KESTER: Yeah.

    SIEGEL: …who can no longer remember what he was drinking.

    Mr. KESTER: Exactly, maybe this would be helpful

    1. STFU Gilmore

    2. “Obstreperous”? Did they teach him that word at Talk Like a Dick School?

      1. You beat me to it. I’m assuming Siegal is “Robert Siegal” and if you hear the man talk every day as I do, you almost come to expect words like Obstreperous from him. In fact, at some point, you’re disappointed if they don’t.

        If you imagine Robert Siegal in print, you imagine approximately 72% of the words written would have to be italicized.

  17. This is my self portrait.
    ?/
    /?
    /? \

    1. HOMO!

      …gratuitously insulting imagery of many of them?it seems that if there’s one group of folks more obsessed with gay sex than Islamic terrorists, it’s critics of the same?

      1. Yeah, I thought that “Gay Sex” comment was bullshit. If I was gay I’d probably be offended that Nick used that as a comparison to what was actually being posted. Since I’m not, I’m just offended at his adolescent response, implying the “offending” commenters were homos, in other words, name calling.

    2. Oh, Christ (PBUH), here we go again.

      … Hobbit

    3. Is this what it took to totally fuck up a thread?

      Seriously what did you guys do?

      1. I remember someone comparing “Everybody draw M***** Day to some artist who dipped a crucifix in urin. I then asked another commenter how he would react if that artist were murdered by an Evangelical Christian who made it clear that it the artist was killed for his art and most Christian Churches refused to condemn that murder. Also imagine, I said, if many Christians said something like “I would not have murdered him myself but I can understand why that guy did. I pointed out that this is the kind of thing we are now facing with Islam.

        1. I hope I didn’t just cause this entire thread to be deleated. But somehow I do not think this is what caused the other one to be.

        2. In your extremely hypothetical situation, would you then opine that we all need to dunk crucifixes in urine to save our civilization?

          1. If that actually occured, yes, yes I would actually. Christianity itself was once that barbaric. It reformed – took it a while – but it did. Islam needs to do so now.

            1. Thank you for confirming you are a nutjob. Consistent one, but nutjob nonetheless.

              1. So you have no actual way to dispute my point? That is usually the case for people who resort to insults.

                1. This is one of those cases where it’s better to let your opponent’s statements go undisputed for all to see.

                  1. Because you have no way to dispute them?

            2. PIRS is correct. If Christians were that murderously intolerant, then it would be the responsibility of people who care about freedom to blaspheme the shit out of their false god.

              Congratulations, Tulpa, for disapproving. You can stop telling us now, you boring sewage-packed cunt.

              1. Just a reminder, as I am no one’s false god, insulting me does nothing to prevent civilization from collapsing.

                1. I am, therefore I insult. Fuck yourself.

              2. Thank you Warty.

                Blasphemy : a word for thought that those in charge of religious organizations disapprove of.

              3. And if you don’t like having to deal with my ilk, you can set up a blog of your own, attract traffic, and delete the comments of any wet blankets such as myself that offend your sense of fun. You don’t get to choose which people hang out at the same blog you do anymore than you get to choose the people who used the bathroom at McDonald’s before you.

                1. Tulpa, I welcome the opportunity to debate with people who have a different point of view. Debating only with people who agree with me on everything would be ? well ? pointless. And, unlike extremist members of certain religions I will not attack or threaten people for merely having a different point of view. I also will not threaten to kill someone for drawing a nasty picture of Murray Rothbard or Robert A. Heinlein or Walter Block or Ayn Rand.

                  1. @@
                    \–/

                    That’s FA Hayek, that is.

                    Also L Neil Smith.

                2. Tulpa, why are you being so retarded?

                  Did anyone threaten to kick you off this commenting board? No, Warty merely called you a cunt and told you to go fuck yourself.

                  Your arguments (when you actually have one, that is) are stale and usually not even relevant to the actual issue at hand.

                  As long as people who refuse to speak out against and resist fascism exist, fascism will exist too. Go fuck yourself.

          2. I would say that would be the appropriate reaction.

      2. Personally I think they shut down the threads because my silver tongue was making them look foolish for their adolescent event.

        But the ostensible reason was because various people were opining on the contents of a certain historical figure’s bodily orifices.

        1. So how’s it feel to be as insufferable as Dan T?

          1. Your puny conformist libertarian mind couldn’t even begin to process the merest parameters of how it feels.

            1. Prunes, Tulpa, prunes. They should clear you right out and improve your disposition. Try rolling them in brown sugar first to make them more palatable.

              1. Bah, I don’t trust modern medicine. I only use homeopathic remedies.

                1. Seriously?

                  Tulpa, are you using colloidal silver again? You know that stuff can turn you steel blue, right? It’s not a cure all. You can use chincona bark extract for your malaria if you wish, but it would be simpler and more effective to use quinine.

                  If you believe in the restorative powers of aroma therapy, I still have the bridges Brooklyn or Verrazano to sell you. No checks, except cashier’s.

                  1. I’m correcting for the blueness by also taking 20000 mg of carrot extract daily.

                    1. I’ll put you down for the Verrazano.

              2. Brown Sugar Prune Cake recipe
                Ingredients:

                ? cup of butter or margarine.
                1 ? cups of golden brown sugar, firmly packed.
                2 medium eggs.
                ? cup of cooked pitted prunes, chopped.
                1 ? cups of all-purpose flour.
                1 teaspoon of baking soda.
                ? teaspoon of salt.
                ? teaspoon of cinnamon.
                ? teaspoon of nutmeg.
                ? teaspoon of allspice.
                ? teaspoon of cloves.
                2/3 cup of buttermilk.
                ? cup of walnuts, chopped.
                Whipped cream, to serve with.
                Brown sugar, to serve with.
                Directions:

                Cream together the butter (or margarine) and sugar until light and fluffy.

                Add the eggs, one at a time, beating thoroughly after each addition.

                Stir in the chopped prunes.

                Combine the flour, baking soda, salt and spices and add alternately with buttermilk to the creamed mixture.

                Stir in the chopped walnuts.

                Pour into a greased and floured 9-inch square pan.

                Bake in a 350?F (180?C) oven for 40-45 minutes or until the cake tests done.

                Allow to cool on a rack.

                Cut into squares and serve with a dollop of whipped cream, topped with brown sugar.

        2. “historical figure’s”

          Which historical figure was that? I thought they were talking about Muhammed’s bodilly orifices. Not any actual historical figure.

          1. Uh, Muhammed (f.t.f.b.) was a real person.

            Thanks for making Tulpa look right, dumbass.

      3. I wasn’t around for it, but as best I can tell the Reason wanted to hide the typical H&R comment stream from the multitudes linking to the Draw Mohammed Day posts.

        Company was coming over so the comments were locked up in the attic so as not to embarrass the hosts.

        1. That seems likely enough. It’s a tough situation they’re in, wanting to be respectable yet being stuck with us as their audience. Shame on you for ever allowing comments, Reason.

          1. Also shame for being libertarians, Reason. Everybody knows that that attracts nutjobs.

        2. Actually, it’s more likely that the multitudes were those responsible for the “problem” comments.

          1. Whatever, I feel a fatw? is in order so consider it issued.

            I find threaded comments to be offensive to Islam.

            1. You dumb adolescents, can’t you see threaded comments are offensive to Muslims???

              God dammit, I deserve 50 lashings for such blasphemy!

              1. 50 lashings for spoofing I could get behind.

            2. You do realize you violated your own fatwah?

        3. I think you hit the nail on the head SIV. What’s funny about that is that the thread was actually pretty tame for Reason standards. Certainly more tame then this one. So for those of you that missed it, you didn’t miss anything. The first comment on the thread was that the commenter wanted to understand the teachings of a certain religous icon, we’ll call him “Dammahum”, but that he couldn’t understand him because his mouth was full of a certain body part. That comment thread was deleted which pretty much started the whole thing. That’s about as bad as it got.

    4. Sorry, we now have to shut the comment thread down now. You were warned.

      1. Does your mother know you are queer?

        1. No, but your father certainly does.

          1. Burn

  18. New problems will follow the act.

    1. Either they don’t have any idea how the internet works, or they need to be seen to be doing something.

    2. “Pakistan to block Facebook.”

      The United States might be next. You heard about Obama’s speech in front of a college graduation class that referenced information as a “distraction”?

      I do not use Facebook myself but I can understand how it might be useful. The government fears any method of communciation that circumvents the American versions of Pravada.

      1. Evidently it helped rioters organize disturbances in Urumqi, China a while back. It’s been blocked in China ever since.

  19. And while we’re at it, has anyone got the photoshop chops to produce a collage that involves muhammed, a coffee-table, Bruce Vilanch, Harvey Fierstein, and Robert Mapplethorpe?

    1. Like a “Last Supper” mockup? Trey Parker and Matt Stone and/or their characters should also be in the painting.

      1. Well it would be some kind of dinner. 😉

        I was thinking more blue plate special on the coffee table.

    2. If there is one group that rivals the intolerance of militant Islamists it is militant homosexuals.

      1. “Hate is NOT a Family Value!”

        1. HEY!!

      2. Homosexuals usually don’t blow up people, so that’s bullshit.

        1. They do blow up sex dolls and blow people. Those sorta count right?

      3. “militant homosexuals,” is that some kinda kink porn you’re into?

  20. AP has a depressing story about the child killed during a SWAT raid in Detroit that was being filmed for a reality show. Prepare to be infuriated:

    But “The First 48” did help recruiting and portrayed police in a favorable manner, former Dallas Police Chief David Kunkle said.

    Department brass had final say on editing and exercised its rights on several occasions, usually over concerns about minor issues they felt reflected on the force’s professionalism. For example, they didn’t like shots of detectives smoking on the job, Kunkle said.

    There were also concerns that video would contradict police testimony and hinder convictions. Kunkle said he ultimately decided video from the show would speak for itself and to trust the professionalism of his detectives.

    “If it shows police at their best, then it’s helpful. If not, then it’s harmful.”

    WTF at the bolded part. I know that’s not a direct quote, and possibly just the reporter’s summary or interpretation of actual quotes, but how in the world can you basically write that something is bad because it makes it harder for police to get away with lying and/or convict innocent people?

    1. Oh and here is the link.

    2. The whole thing is a WTF Tulpa. When the police are willing to hold themselves to the same standard of compliance 24/7 that they expect of the society whose laws they enforce, then I will trust them totally. Until then, shoulder or eye mounted cameras and off site third party storage and maintenance of that information and will be regarded with extreme skepticism and given wide berth.

      1. “they will be”

    3. Tulpa finally succeeds in distracting people from insulting Muhammed.

      How much did you pay those cops?

    4. “If it shows police at their best, then it’s helpful. If not, then it’s harmful.”

      This is pretty damn WTF too. Helpful to whom? I would say that video showing cops not at their best broadcast nationally would be extremely helpful.

  21. Wow, those bloody Brit’s are coool. I wanna have a few drinks with them.

    lou
    http://www.web-anonymity.cz.tc

  22. Wow, those bloody Brits are cool. I wanna have a few drinks with them

    Lou
    http://www.web-anonymity.cz.tc

  23. “11pm last orders”

    Bullshit. There were plenty of bars and clubs where you could drink long past 11pm.

    Now your favorite crappy pub? Nope, but learn to stay up past your bedtime once in a while before complaining.

  24. I’d do ’em.

  25. Threadjack:

    Molly Norris news:

    To Kabir Jeddy, though, “it’s about respect.” An officer with Redmond’s Muslim Association of Puget Sound, Jeddy respects people’s freedom to depict what they want. But he sees that freedom as a privilege to be used responsibly. [my fav… I’m all for freedom of speech…but…]

    Norris has reached out to local Muslims, attending one of the association’s events.

    “My hope is that something good will come of it,” she says of the current uproar. “That people will understand one another more.”

    http://seattletimes.nwsource.c…..on20m.html

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