Politics

Can Californians Watch Their Effin Language For One G-Darned Week?

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Almost certainly not, but the state Assembly has passed an official resolution declaring next week (and every first week of March until the state is sold to China) a (voluntary, whew) "Cuss-Free Week."

For some of the things the state Assembly in California should be minding, see this Reason magazine classic from February 2009 on how state pension obligations, clean mouthed or foul, are pushing California and other states to the brink of insolvency.

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  1. Shall I start the defiant swearing? Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits retarded Negro midget.

    1. We must have a cosmic connection. Two copies of 7 dirty words within one minute.

      1. But my list above includes three words more recently declared dirty.

    2. Stop being a fucking retard — enough with the goddamn cussing, arsehole!

  2. Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits.

  3. mecrab!

  4. I’m guessing they got tired of being introduced as Assemblyman Fucking Idiot all the time.

  5. Please no BSG fans use “frakking”, or I promise to hunt you down and kill you.

    (stares hard at ProL)

    1. First, I can’t recall ever using that term here.

      Second, I’m only a BSG fan if I can exclude certain shows and seasons.

      1. That’s a load of felgercarb.

        I’m voting you out of the club ProL. Now *I* get Athena!

  6. “Cuss”? Is that word still used outside Arkansas?

    1. It’s a noun in Arkansas and a verb everywhere else.

      1. Not to be confused with Cuzz, which is what you would call your dad’s brother’s kid.

        1. I believe in Arkansas Cuzz refers to girlfriend.

          And Cuss? I’ve always looked down on anyone who says that.

  7. Yo, fuck Cuss-Free Week.

  8. And we creep ever closer to a Demolition Man world every day.

    1. Underrated film, Demolition Man. Perfect dystopian demonstration of a “benevolent” Moral Busybody run naynnystate and how it can suck the humanity out of everything that makes live worth living.

  9. I only have two problems with cussing.

    1. They turn a word for a beautiful act of love into a negative term. When used as a descriptor before a word it is almost always a negative descriptor.

    2. More often than not it is empty space, a waste of time and words that could be used instead for actual, additional information.

    1. Fuck that noise!

      1. An excellent example of my point.

        1. Eat a fuckin’ mile of cock, shitgrabber.

          1. In case you are wondering I am not a prude. I am simply pointing out practical problems with cussing.

          2. You, sir, are a sot, dullard, grotnoll, jobernoll, blockhead; a lowt, lob, lusk, boare, clown, churle, clusterfist; an ignorant and unmannerly swaine.

            1. You forgot “poltroon”, and I didn’t even have to look that one up.

              1. poltroon is too modern for my tastes.

        2. Lighten up, Francis.

    2. Fuck this shit, let’s go fucking fuck baby! Fucking A!

    3. The universal adjective is fucking up my life. I lost my fucking job; I even lost my fucking wife, because the universal adjective is fucking up my life.

    4. LOL!!! I’m trying to remember using that word when attempting to describe a “beautiful act of love”. Well…at first, anyway. It’s pretty appropriate towards the climax.

    5. That word has not had the connotation of “beautiful act of love” for several centuries. Even in medieval times it referred to the grubby sort of sex one would have with a prostitute or the like.

      It’s sort of like the difference between “munch” and “dine” even though they refer to the same general physiological activity.

      1. “the grubby sort of sex”

        Another thing that pisses me off is when sex is referred to as “dirty” or “grubby” unless it is a) non-consensual or b) actually taking place in filth. This is another remnant of our Puritanical /Augustinian history that needs to go. There is no reason to slander sex by calling it filthy. Hot, yes, it can be, steamy, yes, fine but why slander it by using negative terminology to describe it?

        1. Just because I like food doesn’t mean I refer to a McD’s Dollar Menu cheeseburger with the same flowery prose as I do filet mignon. Like everything else, sex has its ups and downs.

          1. Go ahead and eat your shitty hamburger and drink it down with that piss colored Mountain Dew. You don’t want to know what the teenagers behind the counter do to the mayonnaise.

        2. It’s only dirty if you’re doin’ it right.

        3. Sex is dirty in the literal sense (not in the figurative “morally bad” sense).

      2. “That word has not had the connotation of “beautiful act of love” for several centuries.”

        You’re clearly doing it wrong.

    6. Fuck yo shit, nigga

  10. anus

    arse

    arsehole

    ass

    ass-hat

    ass-pirate

    assbag

    assbandit

    assbanger

    assbite

    assclown

    asscock

    asscracker

    asses

    assface

    assfuck

    assfucker

    assgoblin

    asshat

    asshead

    asshole

    asshopper

    assjacker

    asslick

    asslicker

    assmonkey

    assmunch

    assmuncher

    asspirate

    assshit

    assshole

    asssucker

    asswad

    asswipe

  11. bampot

    bastard

    bitch

    bitchass

    bitches

    bitchtits

    bitchy

    blowjob

    bollocks

    boner

    brotherfucker

    bullshit

    bumblefuck

    butt plug

    butt-pirate

    buttfucker

  12. choad

    chode

    clit

    clitface

    clitfuck

    clusterfuck

    cock

    cockass

    cockbite

    cockburger

    cockface

    cockfucker

    cockhead

    cockjockey

    cockknocker

    cockmaster

    cockmongler

    cockmongrel

    cockmonkey

    cockmuncher

    cocknose

    cocknugget

    cockshit

    cocksmith

    cocksmoker

    cocksucker

    coon

    cooter

    cracker

    cum

    cumbubble

    cumdumpster

    cumguzzler

    cumjockey

    cumslut

    cumtart

    cunnilingus

    cunt

    cuntface

    cunthole

    cuntlicker

    cuntrag

    cuntslut

    1. you missed cumjunkie

  13. Don’t live there anymore, but I’ll do my part

    Can Californians Watch Their Effin Language For One G-Darned Week?

    Fuck, no!

  14. Almost certainly not, but the state Assembly has passed an official resolution declaring next week (and every first week of March until the state is sold to China) a (voluntary, whew) “Cuss-Free Week.”

    There’s Open House at California and we want to welcome our Chinese customers with clean mouths . . .

    After all, this is a reputable business we’re running here!

  15. damn

    dick

    dickbag

    dickbeaters

    dickface

    dickfuck

    dickfucker

    dickhead

    dickhole

    dickjuice

    dickmilk

    dickmonger

    dickslap

    dicksucker

    dickwad

    dickweasel

    dickweed

    dickwod

    dildo

    dipshit

    dookie

    douche

    douchebag

    douchewaffle

    dumbass

    dumbfuck

    dumbshit

    dyke

    1. Well, fuck me! Look who learned how to access an online dictionary of smarm.

    2. Aren’t you supposed to be some kind of intellectual college boy?

    3. You forgot dicktoucher, dicktoucher.

  16. What the french, toast?

    1. Lint licker!

  17. “The resolution honors McKay Hatch, who started a no-cussing club at his South Pasadena junior high school nearly three years ago.”

    He’s going to have to start a celibacy club too, because he isn’t going to get laid being the President of the “no-cussing club.”

  18. Fuck the California legislature.

    -jcr

  19. My birthday lands in that fucking week you fucking cocksuckers how dare you profane it with your linguistic piety, you political pieces of putrescence

    1. -1 for alliteration

      1. aww c’mon 🙁

  20. I’m saving myself for next week, when it’s official.

  21. I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You lousy cork-soakers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes… like yourselves.

    1. If that movie were made today, all the swear words would have been left in and it would have been about 10% as funny.

      1. agreed

  22. So Hollywood will shut down production in CA for the first week in March from now on?

    1. More like they’ll shut down the Valley, where all the pron gets made.

      OK. the pron producers will probably just ignore this stupidity.

  23. As an avid Scrabble player I’ll use some of the words that were removed from the “Official” dictionary so they could keep using it in schools. (The words are still legal in tournaments.)

    Of course, the majority of them are ethnic slurs such as WOP and JEW that use good high-value letters — there’s even a few I’d never heard of before, such as OFAY and BUCKRA.

    There are some good sexual words like JISM, which you can use to put a J on a double letter score and the M on a triple word score for a high-scoring play.

    And then there are the words that got removed for more baffling reasons, like COMSYMP, ABO, or the noun FATTY. FATTY as an adjective, referring to, say, a fatty cut of meat, is legal, as are the comparative and superlative forms FATTIER and FATTIEST. However, the noun FATTY also had an entry in the print dictionary, since it had the plural FATTIES. But the noun entry has been removed, leaving FATTY as a valid word, as well as FATTIEST, but removing the T from FATTIEST gives you a word you can’t play in school.

    Ain’t political correctness grand?

    1. But did they remove BOOMBA-LATTY?

    2. “Jew” is a slur? Is “Presbyterian” also a slur?

      1. I happen to have a beat up copy of OSPD2 from the early 90s, before it was bowdlerized for school use. JEW was in the dictionary as a verb, with the meaning “to bargain with”. Thus, JEWED and JEWING are valid in tournament play.

        (In most cases, the OSPD will only list the verb, because the third-person singluar with the -S ending is the same as the plural noun. Scrabble players don’t need repeat entries for a word to be valid. FATTY, which I mentioned above, is different, because the inflected noun and adjective forms are different. The Tournament Word List doesn’t give definitions, as they’re not really necessary.)

  24. Could be worse. They could try to tax ’em. That would clear up the budget shortfall posthaste.
    Fornicate the penguin!

  25. They turn a word for a beautiful act of love into a negative term. When used as a descriptor before a word it is almost always a negative descriptor.

    Only if you hang around negative people. Otherwise you get formulations like:

    “Damn, she’s fucking hot!”

    “Fucking awesome, dude.”

  26. Everyone here is missing the beauty of the best parenthetical comment of the month: “until the state is sold to China”. Brilliant comment, Brian, you magnificent son-of-a-bitch.

  27. What the fuck? Is this all these motherfuckin cocksucking assfuck pussies have to do?

    1. Well, they’ve virtually run out of money to steal, so yes….

  28. don’t these fuckronauts have anything else to do? seems to me they should be refuckulating their economy or their supply and command or something.fuck it, i’m getting fucking drunk.

  29. A few more news stories like this, and the state of California might put The Onion out of business.

  30. Do you have to use so many curse words?

  31. What the fuck are you talking about?

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