Presidential History

Time to Add on Official Judicial Response to the SotU?


Was Justice Alito's "not true" the subtler, quieter, more polite black-robed version of Rep. Joe Wilson's "you lie" outburst? The always smart and provocative Randy Barnett works out the parallels in today's Wall Street Journal, and finds that Obama is the Wilson-esque boob in this round, since (some of)* the Nine were at the speech as a courtesy to the president:

For those who strongly object to the ruling in Citizens United and still do not see the impropriety of criticizing the Court this way, consider Rep. Joe Wilson's "You lie!" outburst during the president's address to a joint session of Congress in September. No one denied the right of a congressman to criticize the accuracy of the president's remarks. The objection was to the rudeness and disrespect shown the president, for which Mr. Wilson promptly apologized. So too should the president.

If this is an indication of things to come, maybe there should be an official judicial response to the State of the Union from now on. Of course, it would come out months after the speech and be laden with footnotes. Which—after all the quickie liveblogging and vacuous official Republican response—might not be a bad idea.

The president fully expected that his hundreds of supporters in the legislative branch would stand and cheer, while the justices remained seated and silent, unable to respond even afterward. Moreover, the president's speech was only released about 30 minutes before the event, after the justices were already present. In short, the head of the executive branch ambushed six members of the judiciary, and called upon the legislative branch to deride them publicly….

More on the "not true" moment here.

*UPDATE: Not all of the Nine were there. Maybe that's why Obama could talk smack about them—they weren't at full strength.

NEXT: What's Wrong with Free Speech for Foreign Corporations?

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  1. We all know what the real message was there: “Not true, BOY!

    1. No, what he was mouthing began with an N!

  2. “since the Nine were at the speech as a courtesy to the president”

    Not to quibble, but n ot all 9 justices were there. Only 5 or 6.

  3. This SC decision is an outrage to our democracy. It is a shocking perversion of the clear text of the 1st amendment because individuals no longer have the right to freedom of speech. The corporations will now buy our representatives. Now they can run whatever ad they want and make most of us all vote for whoever the ads say to vote for.

    1. That’s weak, even for a Friday.

    2. I think that you just swallowed your own poop.

    3. really? are commercials really that effective? how many snuggies do you own sir?

    4. I’m hoping this is sarcasm. If not, I would like to be put in contact with you and others of your ilk as I could find many uses for a group of people I could make obey my every whim with a 30 second TV spot. Once we dig you out from the 30,000 snuggies that you ordered due to corporate brainwashing.

      1. All 30,000 snuggies are washed with 50,000 jugs of oxyclean.

        1. Any spillage mopped up with Shamwows.

          But watch what you say – this guy may have been stockpiling Ginsu knives since the late seventies.

      2. Hey, snuggies are useful, especially for those of us too obese to work. A market niche was filled, i.e. the ability to work the remote and reach the fried dough without the inconvenience of cold arms.

    5. You know, just because you say something, doesn’t make it true. Especially when its unconnected in any way to the matter at hand. Its obvious from your post that you are parroting opinions and didn’t read the opinion and that you don’t understand the current state of election funding.

      For all the sense you made, you might as well said …

      “Oh noes, Citizens United will lead the nuclear armogeddon because it allows well-funded companies to purchase nuclear weapons and use them as they see fit.!”

    6. troll bait is old and out of date

    7. Have you ever read the “clear text” of first amendment? The freedom of speech/press part says nothing about individuals or an individual right. It is a restriction on what government can do. Why is this so fucking difficult to understand?

  4. I would imagine Alito is a former law professor. Obama is the type of smug know nothing first year that Alito used to slap around in Con Law for entertainment value. So here is Obama bloviating like some first year who hadn’t done his reading and of course getting the law completely wrong. And Alito couldn’t help himself but mouth something in response.

    1. I had no idea Alito was such a racist! You can always tell by their names. If it ends on a vowel, racist. Sometimes consonants count too.

      1. Like “Obama“?

        1. He’s a Black liberal so he can’t be racist. You sure don’t know much!

    2. One more reason to cherish NYU Law; Con Law was a second year class (one of the only law schools in the country that does that). I asked the professor why that would be (being a bit annoyed that I couldn’t just make my way to the contract and corp law classes that I was there for) and he said, “first year law students are too stupid to study the Constitution”. Certainly helped to have a year under the belt, made the smack downs less painful

  5. It’s their insidious subliminal messaging! And their overwhelming our reasoning capacity with too many choices! How can we hope to cope?

    It is flat out stupid to think that whatever influence businesses wield–and it’s infinitely more fractured and less powerful than leftists fantasize–was any weaker under McCain-Feingold than it was before or since the ruling.

    1. Leftists are terrified of individual responsibility. It terrifies them to think that they are free to vote as they like and are thus responsible for their actions. Better to think that they are always victims of larger unseen forces than face personal responsibility.

      1. Buffett, Gates, Woz, Jobs, Allen, Brin, Page and the rest of top tier capitalists who you call “leftists” are all terrified of individual responsibility?

        You’re still a fucking idiot, John.

        1. Way to respond to the point there Tiger. Please feel free to come back and play again soon.

          To your point, if you have one, why does being a billionaire necessarily mean that you embrace individual responsibility? Jobs can make a fine computer. So what? That says nothing one way or another about his opinion of human free will. Indeed, his political opinions indicate that he doesn’t really have much use for individual responsibilty

          1. You didn’t have a point – just a mistaken notion.

            Its sycophants like you who infiltrated the Republican Party and support the growth of government just because they have an R by their name.

            Cheney told you “Reagan proved that deficits don’t matter” and then went out put this edict into motion while you lotioned up for the Palin version of Dickless Cheney.

            Would you abandon these miscreants? Fuck no.

            You’re too busy spouting nonsense like liberals are “terrified of individual responsibility”.

            Ayn Rand warned us that when the man she considered an idiot – Reagan – joined corporatism with religion – that this country was doomed.

            1. Wow that is quite a rant. Reagan, Ayn Rand and Palin all in one. Jesus Shrike, take your meds for God’s sake.

        2. Rich does not equal capitalist, nor does it imply individual responsibility. (your strawman is on fire)

          You’re still a fucking idiot, shrike.

          1. ok – Buffett. Not a capitalist.

            Palin. Capitalist.

            Yeah, right.

            Shouldn’t you be on a Greyhound headed to the Tea Party convention?

            1. Capitalists, in the truest sense, don’t seek regulator capture and aren’t rent seekers. Most of the people on your list do both regularly. Don’t be angry your strawman went down in flames, they are highly flammable.

            2. Shouldn’t you be fucking yourself, shrike?

          2. You can be a capitalist without believing in capitalism (much like a Congressman can be a homosexual while believing that homosexuality is a terrible sin).

            A guy that just won the lottery is rich, a guy that owns a good chunk of a major business is a capitalist.

        3. No. They are all happy to see the government grow at the expense of individual responsibility. The bigger the government, the better they can cosy up to the government tit and suck.

  6. Being a free speach purist – I’m happy with the Citizen’s United decision.
    Being a free speach purist – the President can use his little political theatre to slam the SCOTUS for their decision.
    Being a free speach purist – the Justices are free, in response to the slam, to stand, grab their crotches and flip the President off.
    [then slug Schumer clapping like seal behind them]

    1. In fact, I think the constitution gives all citizens the right to slug Schumer.

      Also, note the irony of how the big man with the microphone has had his message(s) of the night drowned out by a guy shaking his head and silently mouthing a few words. Kind of a interesting juxtaposition to the whole “corporations will drowned out the voice of the common man” stuff?

      1. I’d like to subscribe to your Schumer beating newsletter. KTHXBAI

    2. I disagree on points 2 and 3. Watching the clip, I found it appalling that Obama would attack the decision in those lying words, while the justices were sitting there, and while the Democrats all stood up and applauded. It went beyond the rudeness of using the podium to attack individual people in the room who cannot respond, beyond a separation of powers issue, and actually made me think of banana republics and Communist political theater. I half expected him to demand they stand up and engage in revolutionary self-criticism. It was a raw, nakedly partisan attack in a speech that included complaints about partisanship. What a friggin’ hypocrite.

      1. Obama is a politician. He has no actual principles that he wouldn’t compromise, so it’s useless to talk about where he stands on this issue, and meaningless to call him a hypocrite. He was using that part of the speech to play to his base and pretended to give “all due deference” to the guys he was attacking. Politician 1, Politics 0.

    3. It’s “speech,” you dumbass.

  7. When you can’t argue on the merits just bully from the pulpit.

  8. I think it was classless of Obama to call them out when he knew they’d just have to take it. It was a cheap shot, and it is yet another indication of Obama’s ineptitude and misunderstanding of the Court’s role in our system.

    1. It was the kind of thing you do when campaigning for the New Hampshire primary. It was not Presidential. I really think Obama hates his job. Running for President and blowing smoke of people’s asses for a living was great. Being President and actually having to accomplish something must really suck for him.

    2. Even more classless are the trained monkeys of the Dem leadership who are outraged that someone would dare silently, silently!, disagree with the Obamcy. How rude we was! How outlandish!

      *Must* they induce revenge fantasies in me involving heavy farm equipment and vats of acid?

      1. Yeah no kidding. The guy mouthed something. It is not like he got up and started screaming. Had the camera not caught it, no one would have known. Their reaction is downright creepy.

        1. Silence, peon! I hereby declare you to be a corporation, and revoke your right to speech.

            1. That’s a great idea. Manipulate the tax code so that it becomes in everyone’s interest to become an ‘S’ corporation for tax purposes. Then ban corporate speech. No more pesky naysayers!

              1. How dare you point out the absurd implications of the inconsistent logic of statists.

                You are an especially pernicious corporation:

                Big Oil, Big Insurance and Big Pro Libertate

                1. Yep, the Big Three.

      2. JW,

        Monkeys? You used monkeys about the party of color?

        1. What? Monkeys are cute and sometimes funny. And they fling their poo!

          1. Well, saying that they are trained is a bit of a stretch.

    3. So you think people of color only attack whitey when he is defenseless? I will have you know that the statistics say otherwise!

      1. This is becoming tiresome.

    4. True, and the reaction of his followers is pathetic too. They’re screaming like chimps on meth that Alito has insulted The Great One–great punishment must follow! If you try talking to them about how classless and cowardly Obama was, they make impatient noises; like, dude, that “courage” and “honor” and “class” stuff is soooo old.

      1. Chimps? You called them chimps?


  9. Two things about the reaction to Citizens United amazes me:

    Isn’t having the largest swath of speech possible (even if you disagree) the best outcome? Didn’t someone once say that we should strive for that and let the most sensible, reasonable opinion win and that it would in fact win in the long run most times?

    Second: Citizens United only affects advertising in teh final 30 days leading up to elections. Its not like before corporations couldn’t use any money, and now suddenly the flood gates are open. Before: all the money they want up until 30 days prior to election. Now: all the money they want. How is that any kind of seismic shift?

    1. 30 for primaries, 60 days for general elections.

    2. And only for “electioneering communications” (e.g. political advertisements). Direct contribution is still limited – an important distinction most detractors of the decision either don’t realize or don’t mention.

      1. I’m going to with the former.

      2. They mostly don’t bother to knowledge up enough to be able to articulate the distinction. It’s much easier to just get hysterical about how all the big corps are now going to destroy our civilization through commercials.

        Sad, really

  10. What I found curious was Obama’s lame insistence that Congress pass a bill to remedy the SCOTUS ruling.

    Uh, is that how it’s done? Really? Can we at least ask for a supermajority?

    1. Yep. Nothing says checks & balances like simply being able to overrule one of the three branches with a simple flick of the wrist.

      Under that kind of thinking any number of communist dictators must be legitimate rules and entirely constrained by law, since many of them have Congresses or courts that “check” their power in teh same way that Obama apparently wants the court to be able to check the Congress.

    2. I thought it was interesting that he asked for this too. I’d have to check again, but did he ask for a bill or an amendment to the Constitution?

      If he was asking for a bill, what sort of bill could Congress pass that wouldn’t fail the First Amendment test like this one did and still address what he sees to be an issue?

      They’d have to first substantiate the claim that two groups can do the exact same thing, but for one it is speech and another it is not. I don’t see how a rational mind could seriously make such an argument.

  11. Contrast this with Eisenhower and Brown.
    I have no doubt that Eisenhower was not pleased with the Brown decision, but no proof; AFAIK, he never commented on it in a way which was recorded.
    Regardless of that, his comment when told of the decision was ‘I’m the executive; my job is to enforce the laws. And the laws are defined by the SCotUS’.
    And he did, to the everlasting hatred from many of his former supporters. And without using the justices as props in some half-baked morality play.

    1. Or Bush with the Hamden decision. I guarantee you Bush was pissed about his decision. And that decision, unlike Citizens United, actually affected Bush and his ability to do his job. Bush was going to be held responsible if there was another 9-11. And I am sure he felt that the Supreme Court just made his job a lot harder. But he never said a word about it during is SOTUs. And if he had, the same people that are applauding Obama would have had a fit. The smug self righteous columns about the sacred independence of the Court pretty much write themselves.

      1. Exactly. Can you imagine if the roles were reversed, and Bush attacked the Court this way, and Ruth mouthed her response while all the Republicans stood and applauded? And Bush demanded that Congress overturn the decision? There would be days of hysteria as the left screamed “He’s a bully!” and “Doesn’t he know about the separation of powers?!” And they’d be right.

      2. And that decision, unlike Citizens United, actually affected Bush and his ability to do his job.

        If you had just stuck with “Bush stayed quiet about a decision he disagreed with”, you would have had no disagreement. But then you had to get greedy.

  12. in the video, who is the woman at far right, in the suit and tie?

    1. Paula Poundstone. She went on after Obama but her speech wasn’t as funny.

    2. Paula Poundstone.

      1. Damnit! I drew a blank on her name for about 5 minutes. googling “female comedians who wear ties” wasn’t very useful.

      2. Sure doesn’t look like Paula Poundstone to me.

        1. She sure looks like a few stones and a few pounds to me

  13. I work for a large corp as a contractor for another, both in the fortune 500. If either put out a political ad it would be to praise democracy, urge everyone to vote and to be kind to kittens and puppies.

    1. Kittens are cute. I like your company.

    2. So you’re telling me that giant corporations aren’t clamoring to piss off half of their customers in 30 seconds at the cost of a few hundred grand?

      How about that.

    3. True enough, but they also (likely) belong to a trade association or two, and those associations will lobby for favors, just like every other organization.
      The problem isn’t the lobbying; that’s inevitable and *required* unless you want all the favors going elsewhere. The problem is being able to hand out those favors.

  14. Obi-Wan Kenobi took one last look in the direction of Mos Espa, obscured by a dark curtain of swirling sand, and reluctantly switched off his comlink. Sick to his stomach, he nevertheless projected calm authority as he turned to address Captain Jesse Walker and the two beautiful women beside him.

    \”I can\’t get through to Master Balko,\” he said. \”The storm is just too strong.\” He slipped the comlink back onto his belt. \”It looks like we\’re on our own with this.\”

    Walker nodded. \”Then we have no choice: we have to go ourselves.\” The Editor-in-Chief of Reason Magazine\’s silver transport towered behind him, the mirrored surface glowing bright beneath two burning-hot suns. \”His Fonziness is well-trained, but not even a Jedi could survive long in this heat.\”

    Obi-Wan didn\’t disagree. His tunic was soaked through with sweat, and already he was developing a heat rash on his back and shoulders. But he couldn\’t believe the Tusken Raiders would go through the trouble of kidnapping the Editor-in-Chief of Reason only to let him die of sunstroke. Savage beings they might be, but even savages understood that a dead hostage was worse than useless.

    \”Mangu-Ward and I will go with you,\” Walker said, putting an arm around the woman at his side. \”We\’re both expert shots. We won\’t get in your way.\”

    Obi-Wan looked the woman in the eye and felt his groin stir. She smiled back and gave him a polite bow, her beautiful face betraying nothing of the night before. He quickly looked away. His mind needed to be on the mission, not on her supernova of a mouth.

    \”No. I need to move fast,\” he said. \”You three stay here and keep the ship ready.\” He slipped his lightsaber off his belt and reassured himself that it was fully charged. \”Keep trying to raise Master Jinn. This storm can\’t last forever.\”

    He snapped his lightsaber back onto his belt, pulled off his robe, and traded it to the lovely Katherine Mangu-Ward for some extra water rations. He noticed the sparkle in her crystal-clear blue eyes and couldn\’t help but smile.

    \”I\’ll find her, Captain. I promise.\”

    The black jacket was exquisite; a work of art made from the finest leather in all the galaxy. The only one of its kind, it had been designed down to the smallest thread to fit the Editor-in-Chief of Reason Magazine\’s petite body; which meant that anyone else would have to follow a strict diet and a rigorous training regimen to fit inside of it. Even then it was still uncomfortable: tight around the waist and chest where the Editor-in-Chief\’s best friend and servant was already growing faster than the editor she was often called upon to double; this in only the most moderate of conditions, such as one might find on Cato or Reason

    But on Tatooine, where twin suns burned low in the sky and there was little moisture in the air, it was less an example of excessive haute couture and more an instrument of nearly unendurable torture.

    Katherine stumbled back; she caught her heel on a fat rock and hit the ground with a grunt, landing hard on her tailbone. Her hair was plastered to her wet face, her eyes were blurred from sweat and running make-up, and her mouth was drier than Moenia cotton.

    \”Go away!\” she shouted as she pulled a small hold-out blaster from her boot and pointed it at the nearest Tusken Raider, stopping him in his tracks. \”I know how to use this!\”

    The creature pointed a grimy finger at her and grunted, then looked back at his three monstrous companions and shook his head. Katherine waited as they rattled off grunts and shouts; she didn\’t need to understand their primitive language to know they were disturbed by the sudden change in her character: the frail and frightened little girl transforming without warning into a fierce warrior ready to fight to the death.

    She was disturbed, too. Not by her actions, but by what lay ahead for her. The unbearable heat had drained her body, leaving her slow and lethargic, her mind so muddied that she could barely remember her own name let alone the way back to the ship. And even if by some miracle she made it back, there was no guarantee that Gillespie and the others would still be there.

    The mission came first. Always the mission.

    The Tusken stomped his foot and turned to face his prey. He threw his head back and screamed, a long bloody sound that echoed off the canyon walls; then, his good sense overwhelmed by anger, he lifted his wooden stave and rushed forward to cave her head in.

    Katherine didn\’t hesitate. She squeezed the trigger and sent him to his maker.

    She was on her feet even before his smoking body hit the ground, bringing her blaster around for another shot. She aimed for the nearest Tusken and fired–just as a large stave chopped down and shattered her wrist like delicate glass. Her shot went wild and caromed off a rocky wall.

    She dropped the blaster and stumbled sideways, coming dangerously close to toppling over a precipice. Tears ran down her cheeks; pain jolted up and down her arm like electricity through a metal pole.

    She grabbed her wrist and spun away; moving, moving. Searching for shelter, a place to hide. Her legs were heavy, her movements sluggish; shock was setting in. She kept moving, forcing herself to remain standing, commanding her heavy feet to keep going.

    There was a building up ahead: a crashed ship whose surface had been painted to give it the look of a traditional Tusken Raider face mask. Katherine ran toward it, her mind so dulled with pain and heat that she didn\’t realize it was the very place they had been taking her to begin with.

    Before she even got close a Tusken landed on her back. They fell to the ground in a cloud of dry, chalky dust. Katherine shouted and slammed her elbow back, cracking it loudly on his chin. He growled angrily, but his grip loosened, allowing her to slip free.

    She was on her knees by the time the others closed in. A boot lashed out and connected with the back of her head. She landed on her belly and immediately curled into a ball, the taste of blood strong in her mouth. More boots came at her from every direction, stomping her arms and legs, the toes slamming into her back and chest.

    Katherine groaned, barely conscious, and rolled onto her back. The boots stopped coming almost at once. Then one of the Tuskens stepped closer, blocking out the sun, and stepped onto her throat. He could have crushed her delicate neck with ease, but he didn\’t. Instead, he gently applied pressure, cutting off her air and the flow of blood to her brain.

    Katherine\’s eyes went wide. She came to life and struggled with him, her weak arms tearing at his filthy rags. She gasped for air, her lungs burning, but he held his foot in place beneath her strong jaw line and continued to apply pressure.

    The edges of her vision turned black. Her world began to spin. \”Gillespie,\” she tried to whisper, the worlds coming out as a hissing gurgle. \”Forgive me….\”

    She was alive. Her body was too tender, her headache too severe for her to be otherwise.

    Her first instinct was to run; instead, she opened her eyes and took several deep, calming breaths as she subtly took stock of her situation. Her throat was very dry, her body was heavy, but nothing other than her wrist felt broken. She was still sluggish and weak, but her enforced sleep had returned a measure of strength to her limbs; thankfully, it had also allowed her damaged wrist to numb up just enough for her to think a little more clearly.

    She eased her sore body onto its side and had a look around. The room was large and ornate, like some sort of temple. Arrayed around her in a large circle were a dozen or more blazing torches, lending itself to the already churchy tone of the place. Looking down, she saw that the floor was clean and polished with such care that it reflected her sweaty image back to her like a mirror. Turning her head, she saw her headdress–a few strands of silky brown hair still attached–and beside it, in three pieces, her blaster.

    The unmistakable sound of a door sliding open intruded on the quiet scene. Katherine went still. She took shallow breaths, afraid to move too quickly lest she draw attention to herself, and slowly turned her head toward the source of the sound. There, at the rear of the temple, stood a Tusken Raider twirling a stave in the air.

    \”No,\” she rasped, terror threatening to overtake her. \”No, no, no.\”

    She forced herself to stand, and nearly collapsed in a heap as the world began to sway around her. She shook her head, took a deep breath, and tried to hobble away. The obviously amused Tusken let her stumble around a bit, then walked over and slammed the sharp point of his stave into the small of her back. Katherine cried out and dropped to her knees as pain jolted up her thighs and hips. The Tusken kicked her forward, onto her chest, then brought the blunt end of his weapon down between her shoulder blades.

    Katherine went limp. She was firmly pinned; struggling would only sap what strength she had left.

    More Tuskens flooded into the room, laughing in their own guttural way as they formed a loose circle around her. Katherine didn\’t need to understand them to know what they had planned for her; males were all the same regardless of species or planet of origin.

    It puzzled her though that they weren\’t swarming her, tearing her clothes off and having at her with furious abandon. That was how these things usually went. Yet here they were, savages, showing the most incredible discipline in the face of a nubile young victim. Almost as if they were waiting on something. Or someone.

    He announced himself with a stomp that sent tremors through the floor, and a growl that rumbled deep in her chest. Katherine gasped and squirmed in place, managing to turn her head just enough to see who it was. Her jaw dropped when she did.

    Here was no ordinary Tusken. Two heads taller than Qui-Gon Jinn, and bulky enough to impress even a Trandoshan Elite, he was treated as a kind of king by the others who scraped and groveled before him.

    The Tusken pinning her in place backed away and bowed his head as the king came forward. Katherine looked away from them both, very nearly paralyzed with fear. The king bent low, snatched her by the tunic, and yanked her into the air. He looked into her face, then turned and barked. The others enthusiastically returned it.

    Noticing movement at the bottom of her vision, Katherine looked down and saw the rags around the king\’s crotch impressively tented. Whatever lay beneath was massive, and it was still growing.

    \”No,\” she whimpered. \”No–please.\”

    The king dropped her to her feet and turned away. Two Tuskens came forward from the circle and grabbed her. One pinned her arms behind her back, making her scream, while the other kneeled in front of her and produced a dull blade that glinted in the torchlight. Tears ran down Katherine\’s face, but she didn\’t resist.

    She even held perfectly still while he made several small cuts in her clothing, afraid to breathe lest he graze the sensitive skin underneath. He finished quickly, then put the knife away and stood up. He looked to the king, who nodded, and in one quick motion yanked the lower half of her outfit from her body.

    The circle went wild. Katherine broke away from the Tusken\’s iron grip and pressed her hands over her crotch, sobbing heavily as she tried to hide her bald pussy from the cheering males.

    The king laughed, then barked yet another order. Several Tuskens came forward this time, bowed to him, then turned their attention on Katherine.

    What remained of her modesty was quickly torn away. She threw an arm across her chest to hide her perky breasts and small pink nipples, feeling like nothing more than a common streetwalker in her boots and pieces of expensive jewelry.

    \”Please,\” she pleaded, unable to hear herself over all the barking. \”I\’ll give you anything you want.\” But it was obvious they only wanted the one thing.

    She was forced to her knees, then shoved over onto all fours. A Tusken kneeled behind her and slapped her on the ass. She yelped, but that only pleased him more. He went at it with gusto, leaving her once-creamy cheeks red with large handprints.

    Katherine looked up at the king, flinching whenever a hand cracked down on her ass. \”I am a Senior Editor of Reason Magazine,\” she said. \”We are a wealthy, influential publication; and I have it in my power to give you anything you desire. Please–don\’t do this.\”

    The king stared at her as if she were a mouse who\’d just tried to speak. He barked an order at the Tusken smacking Katherine\’s ass. The Tusken immediately stopped what he was doing and came around to kneel in front of her. He pulled his rags aside to reveal a rather large erection.

    \”No, don\’t! No–!\”

    He pulled Katherine\’s head forward and stuffed his dirty cock into her mouth, lodging the head deep in her throat. She let out a muffled scream, but that only made her choke harder.

    A second Tusken took up position behind her and shoved his fat cock inside, gliding with ease through her tight pink tunnel. Katherine screamed again, tried to pull away, but doing that caused the cock in her mouth to slide deeper into her throat. Filled utterly and completely, all she could do was relax both ends of her body and focus on getting enough air to remain conscious.

    Spurred on by her desperate noises, the Tusken gripped Katherine by her slender hips and plowed deep into her body. The other followed his example and pulled back from her face until only the head remained in her mouth, then jammed himself back inside and bottomed out in a matter of seconds, where his putrid-smelling pubic hair tickled her skin.

    They rode her in tandem, grunting and squealing, packing Queen Amidala\’s best friend with unwanted cock as if she were nothing more than a cheap blow-up doll. Katherine closed her eyes and took shallow breaths through her nose, trying desperately not to get sick. She had a feeling that any vomit would not be allowed to exit, and she\’d already had enough humiliation to last a lifetime.

    The Tusken railing her pussy grunted and dug in tight. His cock seemed to expand to twice its size–just before he screamed with unnatural pleasure and splattered her insides with several volleys of vile seed. He pumped furiously, Katherine\’s tight pussy milking his balls until he was drained. Then he pulled out, gave her a hard slap on the ass, and departed.

    The cock in Katherine\’s mouth twitched. The owner slid back until only the head remained between her lips, then shot a sticky string of cum into her mouth. It was followed by three more, each adding to a rising pool that swished over her tongue.

    He pulled away and quickly clamped her mouth shut. He tilted her head back and held tight, unwilling to release her until she did what he wanted. Katherine let out a muffled scream, closed her eyes, and did what was expected of her. The load was bitter and foul, and she was glad to get it out of her mouth, but the taste remained, and the smell lingered in her nostrils. It satisfied her tormenter though, and he released her.

    Katherine burned with humiliation. \”I\’m going to kill you,\” she whispered, looking up at the king. \”I\’m going to kill you!\”

    She rushed him without warning, only to be intercepted by a Tusken before she got within a yard. She was shoved into the arms of another and dragged back to the center of the floor.

    \”No more!\” she screamed as grimy hands pawed at her compact body. \”No more!\”

    A small group of tiny beings, babbling in a language only they and a few outsiders could understand, walked up to the temple. They were there to trade with the Tuskens, who were usually eager to exchange unique equipment and needed supplies for refurbished weaponry.

    One of the little creatures, wondering where everybody was, walked over to a nearby window and climbed onto a junk pile. He peeked inside, watched for a while, then turned back to wave the others forward. They climbed up beside him, and got quite the shock when they peered in.

    On her hands and knees, surrounded by several Tuskens, was a naked human female with pretty brown hair and a pale body that contrasted nicely with her painted face. Humans would consider her beautiful; Tuskens too, if their actions were anything to go by. One was taking her from behind, while another pumped his manhood in and out of her mouth, each thrust causing her small but firm breasts to jiggle.

    The creatures watched for a while, perplexed that the group seemed to take such pleasure from their actions. Copulation was a necessary action if one wanted their clan to remain strong, but true pleasure was found in scrounging and bartering, not playing with females. What they were doing was merely a waste of valuable daylight.

    The girl, especially, seemed to be lost in her activities. She was bruised and bloodied, her petite body coated with semen that dripped from her face and hair, but she humped and sucked with great effort. It was a scene entirely at odds with what they knew about human females, who were said to be chaste and virtuous figures.

    Inside the temple, Katherine was doing her best to finish off her abductors, but for each cock emptied, two more would appear. Behind that back door, apparently, the whole Tusken settlement was lined up.

    She was slammed back and forth, her pussy burning, her throat bulging with meat. The cocks were quite large–bigger than Ric Ollie, smaller than Captain Walker–but they slipped in and out of her body with ease, the men pounding away on her with little regard for her comfort.

    The Tusken in her mouth pulled out and slapped his glistening cock across her face, screaming at her in his bizarre language.

    Katherine spit at him, a wicked smile on her lips. \”Do it, fucker! On my face!\”

    His cock jumped in his hand, and Katherine found herself under a fountain that showered her with creamy goo. A glob landed on the end of her nose and dripped down to her upper lip; a second splashed across her forehead; then he slipped the bloated head between her lips and dropped two more fat servings on her tongue.

    Katherine drank it down and smiled around his softening cock.

    She had just enough time to suck in a lungful of air before another Tusken was on her, slipping his big dick into her mouth and down her throat. She choked at first, then mastered herself and went back to work.

    She moaned loudly, unable to control herself. In the blink of an eye the situation had gone from horrific to mind-blowing. So much cock, so much cum–impossible for a female Reasonoid to resist.

    Another Tusken offered Katherine his cock. He lifted her by the hair so she could stroke him with her good hand. She did so expertly, never taking her lips off the fat cock gliding in and out of her throat.

    The Tusken pounding her pussy finally set off the orgasm that had been building for quite some time. Katherines creamed around the cock in her mouth, her body trembling from the supernova in her tummy. Her tormenters, oblivious to the pleasure racking her nubile body, pounded away with childish abandon.

    They came at the same time, grunting as they dumped two huge loads of semen into her body. When they pulled out, strings of cum briefly connected them to her before they stepped aside so others could have some fun. Katherine watched them go, and said a quick prayer of thanks to Shiraya that she\’d remembered to get her birth control shot before leaving Naboo.

    The king, his rigid cock bobbing in the air, sauntered over and took up position behind her. He lined up the colossal head with her stretched pussy and, for the third time that day, entered Katherine with one great thrust of his hips.

    She opened her mouth in a silent scream, dropping a cock so she could smack the floor with her hand. \”Ah, ah, fuck! It\’s so big,\” she gasped. \”You bastard– You\’re killing me! Oh god! Yes! Harder–harder!\”

    Yet another cock was stuffed into her mouth, stifling her arousing wails. The king grunted and pulled back, dragging her pussy lips with him before again shoving forward. He repeated this move several times, working her at a slow and easy pace, groaning whenever he sank into her sopping-wet warmth.

    Katherine moaned and humped back, meeting his thrusts with her own.

    Then the cock in her mouth swelled and erupted, forcing her to swallow multiple times lest the rich load escape from her lips as so many had before. She murmured loudly, reveling in the taste and texture of this latest snack. The lucky owner chuckled and tucked his cock away. Sab?, her lips coated with the seed of dozens of his clan, gave him a sweet going-away smile.

    Another cock was pushed into view, and she was all business again, flicking her tongue over the spongy head before sucking it into her mouth.

    The king slammed away at her like a mad man, grunting in the back of his throat as he plowed deep into her fertile womb and ground his rough body against her silky-soft ass. His heavy balls twitched against her thigh; a moment later his swelling cock unleashed a torrent of cum into her shabby pussy.

    Katherine moaned whorishly as her insides were flooded with the thickest human seed she\’d ever encountered. Surely, she thought as shame and lust fought for control of her body, this Tusken was so much more than just a common man. He was some kind of abomination; a freak of nature.

    The Tusken taking her mouth went wild at the sight of the young slut draining his master\’s load, and pulled free of her lips in time to shoot a gooey load of his own that arced over her head and landed on her scraped and bruised back. Katherine grimaced, the salty seed burning into her cuts as surely as if a cup of Jasker juice had just been poured over her.

    The king was still going, still pumping into her body, his thick seed spilling out of her pussy and running down her thighs. The flood went on and on, unceasing, until a full minute had come and gone; then he gave her a good hard slap and pulled out. He walked away, leaving behind a sore and gaping pussy.

    It was filled by a more accommodating Tusken who slid his cock into the soupy tunnel and started humping away. Katherine, who could barely feel him, gave a mental shrug and focused on the new cock in her mouth. It took him several seconds of futile pumping before he realized she wasn\’t reacting, and when he did he flailed his arms in impotent anger. Her worn-out pussy was still tight enough to get him off, but he was a savage, and couldn\’t truly enjoy himself unless he made his victim really feel it.

    Katherine knew the type well. Letting out a heavy sigh, she reached between her legs and took his cock in hand. \”Better?\” she asked as she pulled it from her pussy and settled the fat head against her asshole, the words muffled by the cock in her mouth. He didn\’t answer–she hadn\’t really expected him to–and just stared at the back of her head for a long puzzled moment.

    He pushed forward. Katherine let out a lustful grunt and pushed back as he slid through her puckered ring. He made a surprised noise when he found her rectum as nearly as slushy as her pussy, but continued on, forcing his thickness completely inside of her as she moaned painfully. He held himself tight inside of her for a long moment, simply enjoying the moist heat and miniscule convulsions that seemed to flutter down her tunnel from time to time; then he gripped her slender hips and started pumping. He went slow at first, then quickly picked up the pace.

    He stared down at her ass and watched with delight as his cock slipped back and forth between the creamy cheeks. Katherine screeched and twisted her hips around to take him deeper. He was tearing her in two, and she fucking loved it!

    She let him pump away for several minutes, using the time to let her young ass grow used to his size; then she squeezed down with her bowels and got an effeminate howl in return. He buried himself in her rectum and let go, spraying her sore walls with soothing cum.

    He pulled out quickly, grunted his thanks, and stood up–only to fall to the floor with exhaustion. Katherine would have chuckled, but she was still recovering herself, her long legs tired and shaky. She sucked down another load, vaguely aware that the fatigued Tusken was being dragged away and replaced by two more eager warriors.

    The king watched it all: warrior after warrior using Sab?\’s body in whichever way they chose, treating her worse than they treated their own women. She was a slut, a whore, and they unloaded in her mouth, her pussy, and all over her body, until every centimeter of her sexy form was draped in cum. It dripped from her swollen nipples and soaked into her once-silken hair. A puddle sloshed beneath her, deep enough to hide her long, delicate fingers and expensively-manicured nails.

    The entire chamber smelled of cum and pussy.

    Every now and again Katherine would look back through the open door, hoping in vain to see Padm? come charging over the horizon, Walker and the girls by her side. But she never appeared, and soon Katherine stopped looking entirely. She focused her attention on the unceasing flow of cock that surrounded her, her lust building as she fell deeper and deeper into her brutal gangbang.

    Until, suddenly and without warning, the final Tusken unloaded in her pussy and left the room.

    Katherine blinked, her mind returning to the here and now, and was mildly surprised to find herself alone. She had done it! She had taken on every Tusken in the settlement–every male at least–and survived.

    What energy she had left burned itself out. Her arm buckled under her weight. She gasped and collapsed to the floor, landing in the cum puddle with a splash. She remained there for some time, barely moving; then she struggled onto her back and hacked up the foul seed of a hundred savages.

    She was still clearing her lungs of the watery fluid when the door opened. She went still, knowing instinctively that her ordeal was far from over.

    The king had returned, his limp but still impressive dick dangling in his hand. He stared down at her, openly admiring her bruised body, her swollen pussy, her cracked lips and gaping red asshole. All the while his dick was slowly coming back to life, growing and growing, like something out of a nightmare, so big it belonged in a Princess Varuna holoporn.

    He came to her, body and cock casting a great shadow over her body. Katherine flashed him a weary smile, hoping he might take it easy on her now that the adrenaline had left her body, but one look in his deadened eyes told her something else. The smile disappeared, replaced by a dawning fear that began in her chest and spread throughout her body. She struggled to sit up, tried to get away from what she knew was coming, but she was too exhausted to do more than slip around in the puddle.

    The massive creature bent down and took her by the hair.

    \”No!\” she shouted, suddenly finding herself on her belly. \”Not there! Not in my ass!\”

    It was night when she woke up, and this time she wasn\’t alone.

    She lifted her head to find several small beings gathered around her nude form. They wore long robes and concealed their faces behind heavy cowls. Some wiped her body with damp rags; while others rubbed a thick salve into her cuts and over her bruises. She lifted her arm and found a crude dressing wrapped around her wrist. The pain was gone, the hand useful.

    Amazed, Katherine shook her head and laid back, relaxing as the small hands moved over her body, gasping when one entered her vagina and coated her insides with the soothing cream.

    Looking to the right, she saw several more creatures at work shining her boots and mending her clothes. She blinked, and wondered if this wasn\’t all some dream, something her subconscious had worked up to keep her sane while she endured yet another gang-rape. But she dismissed the idea as quickly as it came. It was just too lucid, too real.

    One of the creatures, noticing she was awake, came forward and held up her blaster. He uttered something incomprehensible and pointed at her wrist. Katherine frowned, then smiled when she realized he was bargaining with her.

    \”Oh, yes. Go on, take it.\” She was surprised to find her thirst gone, her voice returned. \”Maybe you\’ll have more luck with it than I did.\”

    The little creature emitted a pleased sound and gave a polite bow. He slid the blaster into his robe, then turned his attention back to her boots, which had been polished until they almost glowed.

    Katherine settled back and took several deep, steadying breaths. But it didn\’t help the fear slowly growing in her chest. She was a liability now, another mouth to feed, with nothing more to offer the Tuskens than a tight young pussy. And a few more days of this treatment would leave her without even that.

    She knew, from what little she had gleaned from Captain Walker, that they routinely tortured and killed their captives. That particular fate might not await her–she was simply too beautiful–but she refused to look on the bright side and pretend that being traded off to another clan was any better. No, if it came to that she would simply end her own life. She wouldn\’t let these savages turn her into a baby machine.

    She started piecing together a plan. If she didn\’t move now Padm? might leave her on this planet, having been convinced by Eirta?–ever the realist–that there was little hope of finding her alive. But first she had to get out of the temple and away from her captors before they realized she was refreshed and decided to give her a second session.

    She sat up and pointed at her clothes. One of the little creatures bobbed his head and brought them over. For a moment she considered going nude–the outfit was easily half her body weight–but the temperature was already falling and she had no idea just how low it might go. Besides, it wouldn\’t be dignified for the Queen of Naboo to show up in a seedy town wearing nothing more than a weary smile.

    She dressed quickly, thanked each of the helpful creatures, then turned and limped into the night. She didn\’t get far.

    The door opened, freezing Katherinein her tracks. Her heart fell–she had failed.

    A single tear ran down her cheek as she turned to look into the face of the Tusken leader. This was it: the end of her life as she knew it. Padm? would leave her behind on this gods forsaken planet, never knowing what had happened to her. Would she mourn? Would she replace her with Eirta? and simply move on? Katherine would never know.

    An inhuman, vaguely Tusken scream echoed through the night and tore through her thoughts.

    The Tusken leader grunted and ran toward the entrance, his plaything forgotten for the moment. He stared deep into the night, eyes wide with fear.

    He turned back to her, as behind him, moving faster than the naked eye could track, a vibrant blue light cut down one warrior after another, the weapon\’s heavy hum echoing off the canyon walls. Katherine met his gaze defiantly, a cocky smile at play on her swollen lips.

    Her friends hadn\’t abandoned her after all. They were here now, and they weren\’t taking any prisoners.

      1. Now that Bukkakinator’s post is gone, this comment of mine looks a bit out of place . . . but hey, it’s Friday and it’s after noon.

    1. Someone, please delete the tl; dr post.

      1. We actually need a new acronym for that thing. WTFL; DR.

    2. …Do you have a job? Shit.

      1. Well, the deletion of WTFLDR makes this post look retahhded.

    3. The Spam filter stops links to the Wall Street Journal but lets this and anonmynity bot post away. Jesus Reason, the 15 year old you hired to run your server is spending all the money you gave him to upgrade it on dope.

      1. Hey, drugs don’t make you that stupid.

    4. I guess this stuff is so bad that even Larry Flynt won’t pay for it? So your only alternative is to ‘give’ it away free?
      Tell you what, there might be a market in you *not* writing stuff, sorta like paying *not* to see Madonna.

    5. I know that some part of this is all my fault.

      I’m sorry.

      1. Oh what your creation has wrought.

        1. Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

  15. I was going to make a joke about the Lich King being in the front row, even though all of the Nine weren’t present, but I’m just too dumbstruck by Bukkakinator’s post.

    1. I had a similar thought, but yeah that’s a hard post to follow.

    2. Thank goodness they took it down.

      1. Glad I missed it. The last post he (or she, or it … whatever) put up on another thread was just awful. Really pitiful

  16. The rest of the Nine are out looking for the Ring.

    1. +1

      Ginsberg certainly looks the part

  17. [comment on deleted post]

  18. I’d like to subscribe to your Schumer beating newsletter.

    I’d like to ghostwrite all the “I never thought it would happen to me, but…” letters for it.

  19. It is undisputed that Citizens United overruled precedent (Austin v. Michigan Chamber of Commerce), the rest is just squabbling over time line. Obama said 100 years, but Congress banned corporate expenditures around 1950. So Alito was saying “not true” in protest of the 40 year discrepancy? Right.

    1. I think so. Either that or the claim that the decision allowed foreign corporations to give money.

      1. It was the money thing, I’m sure, since that is just so blantantly wrong that Obama and his writers had to know it was a misrepresentation.

      2. It was the foreign corporations claim. The opinion expressly said that it did not extend to that regulation. It remains the law

  20. What part of “Congress shall make no law…” don’t you people understand.

  21. “What part of “Congress shall make no law…” don’t you people understand?”

    Probably the part where they make all kinds of exceptions, or maybe the part where they regulate all kinds of speech. I’m still undecided which part I don’t understand the most.

  22. But Chris Mathews forgot that Obama was Black when he was attacking the SCOTUS justices.

  23. The corporatism added to religion is the community interest being more important than individual interests beliefs put forth by Obama. She believed in individual freedom and self-interests as more important, upon which America was founded, and that included the Christian ideals of the Golden Rule aimed at individuals, not groups.

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