Against the Undead Hand
As part of the hype for Zombieland (which looks several shades more cute and zany than I generally want out of a living dead picture), The Boston Globe lists its top 20 zombie movies of all time.
I'm pretty opinionated on this topic, and yet I have little to quibble with here, mostly because the Globe puts the 1978 Dawn of the Dead at Number 1—where it belongs after years of challenges from running zombies, talking brain-eaters and other needless innovations. (By the way, if you're looking for a critical anthology that's big and heavy enough to use for home defense, get the Black Book of Movies, in which I make the case for Dawn of the Dead as the greatest movie ever made about tactics and also do some beard-stroking about Rocky, Mildred Pierce, The Set-Up, Night Nurse, The Road Warrior and many other crowd pleasers.)
If I had to change anything on this list, I'd probably add one of the Resident Evil pictures, if only because a list like this without Milla Jovovich is like Hamlet without Hamlet. You will no doubt have other refinements you'd like to see. Whole list.
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OMG! A zombie thread on Reason! Looking for 500 comments here minimum. I think a movie about Zombie McCain vs Zombie Pelosi would be most frightening.
Don’t need to make a movie about zombie McCain and Pelosi. The two are already undead.
Looks like the Afghans are not liking us as much as some were promising.
The magic Obama jizz is faded.
Happy CB Day!
Can I comment from Chrome again yet?
No longer silenced! Yea!
What’s with the nav bar for next, main and previous? “New at Reason: Steve Chapman on?” does not show up on the main page or the H&R page?
Hey!, That is my fourth grade teacher in that picture! Holy fuck, that old bastard really did come back just like he said, to haunt us little bastards that taped kick me signs on his ass. Anyone here know how to kill a zombie?
If you’re going to include old-fashioned pre-Romero voodoo-zombie films (and it’s not clear that you should), then I Walked with a Zombie should be ranked much higher than it is here.
Dawn of the dead was overrated. 28 Days Later is one of the best zombie films ever.
Sorry guys, but I just have a hard time taking slow zombies seriously. OMG! Zombies! Walk away quickly!
28 Weeks Later on the other hand, sucked air. They should have just left it alone.
ZombieLand looks awesome, in that, like the genre, it’s done, been overdone, and is pretty much tapped out, so it’s time to start making light of the whole theme.
I haven’t heard of all of these…Dead Snow for instance completely passed me by. Was this in theaters or was I sick that day?
I have to defend 28 Weeks Later here.
I think it was a great set-up, to use the tactics the military would use to create a zombie-safe environment as a metaphor for the Iraq occupation and panopticon societies in general. I also thought it was neat that the specific tactical vulnerability the population had was that their security-state defenses made it impossible for them to escape.
That being said, I thought that Act III sucked. But Act III in most zombie movies sucks, except the original Night and Dawn.
+1 on 28 Days Later although I wish the theatrical release had gone with the darker ending found on the DVD. I also agree that any film with slow lumbering zombies automatically classifies that film as a comedy.
You think? Hmm, I kind of agreed with the filmmakers that it didn’t really work. Or wait, are you talking about the thing they had storyboards for but never filmed? Or the one they filmed? I don’t fully recall the one they filmed, except that everyone dies, right?
Well, let me clarify. I didn’t see it in the theater but was given the DVD, and I assume the ending in the DVD was what they released in the theater. And no, they did not all die. It ended with the 3 of them in a field at some point in the future, seeing a jet fly overhead. Happy happy joy joy.
The DVD had at least 2 alternate endings. The one I’m referring to had the male die, and if memory serves had the two females leave the room immediately after that. Very “Bladerunner director’s cut” like.
Now I have to go watch it again! 😉
That is a shitty comparison! Rage victims in the 28 series aren’t really zombies in the true sense of the word. They’re not the “living dead”, just the living infected, whereas Romero’s original zombies were reanimated corpses.
You fucking phillistine….. 😛
Did Polanski ever do a Zombie movie? Or a teen zombie?
Only in his head…he wanted his 13 year olds so stuffed full of drugs they were like zombies.
Just got through the rest of the list. A little too much George Romero. I mean, come on. Return of the Living Dead. Revenge of the Living Dead… The Living Dead go to Washington.
What is with more than one thread on a Saturday? Did Server Squirrel get empowered to make Writer Squirrels work as much as him?
Just got through the rest of the list. A little too much George Romero. I mean, come on. Return of the Living Dead. Revenge of the Living Dead… The Living Dead go to Washington.
The Living Dead join with Ron Paul and eat the Trufers.
How dare you attack Van Jones!
Racist!
Although the original Night of the Living Dead was filmed pretty close to my home, I still rank Shaun of the Dead as the most entertaining of the bunch. And I loved 28 Days Later, but those weren’t zombies.
Technicalities. Shaun of the Dead was a good comedic look at zombies… but the last 3rd of that movie went downhill so fast. So disappointing considering the first half or so.
The Living Dead join with Ron Paul and eat the Trufers.
The Living Dead ask the tough questions of those in power and upload the results to YouTube.
The Living Dead have their jobs taken by Living Dead immigrants.
Zombie movies suck. I am legend was ok, but to say that is probably heresy for a hardcore zombie flicks fan.
Re: I Am Legend, One of the more underrated movies in recent memory. And one of the best acting jobs from Will Smith.
Yeah, was a pretty deep flick, well done, I enjoyed it.
You want to wipe out most of the population with a zombie plague, that’s fine. But once you kill the dog, you’ve crossed a line.
Dogs are people too you know! Only, they have more rights.
Just ask Michael Vic!
Except when they are owned by Michael Vick. Only, he could have killed humans and returned to the NFL sooner.
I enjoyed I Am Legend not as a zombie movie but as an adaptation of a favorite novella. Omega Man was only marginally better because of Chuck Heston’s over-acting.
*Richard Matheson’s original story was about vampires and not zombies!
Plainly you’re just trolling.
I Am Legend sucked like a shopvac. Will Smith was miscast, the story sucked, the creatures sucked, looking alternately fake and fakey-er, and the ending was weak.
Go read the original novella by Matheson, it’s much better.
But then again, so is the 1970’s version with Charlton Heston. At the very least, that one had Chuck blasting away at the undead with a BAR while wearing a crushed velvet evening jacket.
The Living Dead have their jobs taken by Living Dead immigrants.
JL invites Lonewacko to the thread. Thanks.
Speaking of the living dead…..
Glad to see “Return of the Living Dead” in there. The only question is whether it belongs above or below “Shaun of the Dead.”
I still rank Shaun of the Dead as the most entertaining of the bunch.
Seconded. (or thirded, depending on what Syd eventually decides.)
I was glad to see Versus on the list. Don’t waste your time with the R rated version – get the unrated cut.
I find it this interesting: A thread on the walking dead just after one on General Motors.
“Wild Zero” really should have been on that list, say at #10.
I suspect racism.
Shit, I forgot about Wild Zero. That movie fucking rocked. Not as good as Versus, though.
I will have to check out Versus.
I got to see Guitar Wolf open for The Cramps once. Holy hell was that a great show.
YES! Wild Zero…I am jealous. Never managed to see Guitar Wolf live.
The government has not written any bills yet to bail out zombies. They have not figured out how to control them yet and get their votes.
Are you joking? Chicago has it down to a fucking science.
Check out Joe Dante’s contribution to the Masters of Horror series, Homecoming; zombie voting rights are part of the plot.
LOL. That was funny, especially when the zombie smashed the guy who was really supposed to be Carl Rove’s head into the desk unti he died. Of course, the Ann Coulter character getting shot in the back of the head was cathartic too.
Oh, and where did you pick up your Portuguese? I lived in Brazil for a few years and still try to keep it up.
Blogger and writer buddy John needs a Portuguese translator for like two lines in his book. The one he was hot for seems to have bailed on him. Want to help with credit?
Sure, but no need for credit. Just send me the text at jeffersonisn22@att.net
Are you sure that’s right?
Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently:
jeffersonisn22@att.net
Suki, my girlfreind taught Portuguese as a native speaker before pursuing a career in law(is that an upgrade?), seriously, if your friend needs help with this, let me know.
Tag, I’m it. (thanks to Suki for the heads up on the help)
The scene is Suki and John sitting around with a bunch of troops from around the world, sort of holding court on how to have a good relationship.
“You just kiss his ass and you are happy with that?” A female Brazilian Army Sergeant asks seriously. Suki notices her accent and distinct uniform.
(translate here)
“No, no, no! Not at all! Being nice isn’t kissing ass! He treats me very well, I treat him very well too. We never played silly games with each other, like waiting for days to call or anything like that. We just saw we liked each other’s ways and settled into getting to know each other. We scold each other when needed to too.”
(stop here)
Suki corrects as she and John give each other a squeeze.
N?o, n?o n?o! N?o a todos. N?o ? bom beijar bundas. Ele me trata muito bem, eu trato ele muito bem, tamb?m. N?s nunca brincamos com jogos bobos, como esperar dias para chamar ou algo parecido.
N?o, n?o, n?o! N?o a todos. N?o ? bom beijar bundas. Ele me trata muito bem, eu trato ele muito bem, tamb?m. N?s nunca brincamos com jogos bobos, como esperar dias, para chamar (ligar, telefonar) ou algo parecido. N?s justamente gostamos de diferentes caminhos, e decidimos conhecer uns aos outros. N?s tamb?m xingamos (falamos mal) uns aos outros, quando necess?rio.
Sorry, only the 2nd paragraph(is complete).
The second is good to go? Am I supposed to do something with this (ligar, telefonar) and this (falamos mal)?
Thank you!
Yeah, I’m not sure how I posted the paragraph twice, but the 2nd one should be good to go. I’m not sure about the parentheses. I’ll ask her and post back here about that…
Si, Grazi.
Jeffersonian, my girlfreind is Brazilian. She is from Recife, state of Pernambuco. I find that Portuguese is difficult for an English speaker, but I am devoted and making progress. Where did you live in Brazil? I am considering moving there.
I loved Portuguese which, for me, was like Spanish spoken by a Frenchman: Latin to be sure, but smoother and less staccato. Especially for someone from Recife or Rio (I adored the Carioca accent).
Me, I lived in Campinas, about an hour inland from S?o Paulo, from 1984-1987.
Yeah, I agree, I once told someone that the first time I heard someone speak Portuguese, I thought it was like a cross between Spanish and French. Yes! The accent of the Carioca women is mesmerizing, I love it! Recife also(I have to say this you know). Wow, 1987. that was a long time ago dude, Brasil has changed a lot since then. Paulistas are different and don’t have the cultural richness of Rio, Recife, or Salvador. I don’t know anything about Campinas. You ever think about going back?
All the time, man, all the time. I’m happy to see they’ve finally gotten a handle on their currency problem, it was brutal when I was there. And SP never really did have the cultural depth of Rio, Bahia, Pernambuco or, heck, even Rio Grande do Sul. It’s just a big, dirty city that’s the business hub of Brazil. Campinas was much preferred to SP.
Things have improved there a lot. But, I don’t like Lula. This is not a good time for them to be moving towards the Socialist mistake that we are heading for. Hell, it’s never a good time to make that mistake. Everyone I know there likes Lula about as much as we like Obama. But I guess it depends on who you are talking to. All my friends there are middle/upper class capitalist. I’m not ready to venture into the favelas to interview the Lula supporters, I am leaving that up to the reporters on the scene in Rio 2016.
Trust me, I knew about Lula when I was there in the ’80s, and he’s a LOT better now than he was then. He made Obama look like a freaking Club for Growther, so insanely left-wing he was.
I think Brazil is finally on the upswing. You could do a lot worse than there, and they wouldn’t have caipirinhas, feijoada and samba to enjoy in your poverty. You obviously already know about the women. 🙂
Sim, as mulheres…
Caparinhas! Oh yeah, and the Brazilian Rum! I’m not much of a liquor drinker, tend to stick to the beer, but Pitu Gold, as fine as a Brasileira…
I’m somewhat disappointed… there was a distinct lack of Cemetery Man on the list…
In honor of J sub D, I blame all typos and grammatical errors on the lack of preview.
Nephilium
+1 for Cemetery Man
Cemetary Man should really be up there in the top ten. Hell, I put it in my personal top ten.
The lack of Cemetery Man makes this entire list an epic fail.
Cemetery Man is great! very rare film, isn’t it Italian? think it was originally known as Dellamorte Dellamore, or Of Love and Death.
Cemetary Man is indeed great, though the zombies aren’t really the Romero-style shamblers or the Boyle-style runners. IIRC, they talked and had somewhat supernatural powers.
Still, great film.
Once the Canadians finally perfect the cure for zombies, all these movies listed will seem pretty silly.
I thought the Canuks were a snow zombie nation? If they cured themselves, wouldn’t they become disoriented and all go running around on the tundra and get eaten by snow leopards, after losig all their zombie powers?
I’m sorely disappointed to see that Zombie Strippers isn’t on the list. That one is up there with Shawn of the Dead for comedy and campiness, plus it has boobs.
How about Biker Chicks in Zombie town? I’m always disappointed that Hell of the living dead AKA Night of the Zombies never makes the list.
I don’t get the whole zombie thing. That probably makes me first in line for BO’s Zombie Czar.
If I can walk into your office posing as a zombie pimp wearing my thriller contume and convince you that I am a real zombie and I need to start a tax free zombie business, then you get the zombie Czar job.
Sounds like rape by engraved invitation.
Your link isn’t to the whole list, just to the first of 21 pages of a list. (Sorry, that sort of web design irritates me to no end. I go against their attempt to serve more ads on principle.)
If you want an odd zombie movie, find the zombie comedy Zombies on Broadway”
Do they drive Saturns or Subarus?
Suki informs me that posting from Chrome is ~!#@#@ broken again.
Zombies only drive old chevys. Suki and John, stop trying to be so fucking cool and using Chrome. Zombies have assumed total control of Chrome and Opera, if you use them, they will find you….
I use IE. At the moment that is why you hear from me and not her, but it was the other way about yesterday.
you have confused me into a total state of oblivian… or maybe it is the beer….
Can I freaking post yet?
Success! Chrome works again here!
H,
LOL, let me try.
I was commenting from New York and my buddy John was in Virginia and it was a rare time that we were on the same thread at the same time. Everything was working fine until H&R would not take my comments while I was using Chrome, but IE was working fine for John. He got a string of my bad words on Google chat attesting to it.
He was having the same trouble the day before, using IE from work.
Ted,
Regarding annoying internet ads… If you use Firefox you should check out the AdBlock Plus (blocks images from advertising domains) and Flashblock (prevents Flash videos from automatically loading) add-ons.
There were a few movies on the list I had not heard of before, will have to check them out. I’d always thought that Dawn of the Dead (original) was better than Night of the Living Dead and now an Internet list vindicates me!
I agree with Tim that the Resident Evil should have been included, and I also wonder why they didn’t include Army of Darkness.
They left off the Evil Dead series because they’re demonic possession movies rather than straight zombies. Army of Darkness is third in the series.
Leaving “Army of Darkness” and “Re-Animator” off of the list does not sit well with me.
The best zombie movies are all comedies because it’s impossible to take zombies seriously as a threat.
One of the best unknown zombie movies out there – Black Sheep (sorry, don’t know how to put in a URL). Set in New Zealand with the tagline “There are 40 million sheep in New Zealand, and THEY’RE PISSED!”
Horrible movie, but zombie sheep!
Drunk Zombie sheep. How could that go under the radar?
There is nothing wrong with Black SHeep.
Nothing at all. I thought it was hysterical.
But drunk Black sheep is racism straight up.
I guess they’re saying Deadites don’t count as zombies. I agree, wingnutx, there’s a shameful lack of Evil Dead on this list.
To zombie fans (and to comic fans) I recommend The Walking Dead. It is the best comic to be published in the last decade. It deals with the human condition (and the how people act in groups) better then most novels.
My second recommendation is The Zombies That Ate The World. It is a much different comic series than The Walking Dead. The Walking Dead deals with how the individual cope (as a group and as individuals) with zombies, while the The Zombies That Ate The World is a much more traditional critique of society.
There are very few Zombie movies that really made sense. Most of them were equivalent to mere comedies.
http://next-world-war.blogspot.com
mere comedies? Making people cry or scream at the horrors and tragedies of the world is easy. Making them laugh about it is tough work. Your ignorance is showing.
Again with the zombies?!
Why isn’t Bowling for Columbine on any of the lists?
That film was made by a fat zombie.
I would have to say the original Night of the Living Dead is the best, followed by the original Dawn of the Dead, original Day of the Dead, the 1990 remake of Night of the Living Dead, Land of the Dead, Diary of the Dead, the original Return of the Living Dead. there are many other good ones but Romero’s original zombie films are by far the best. (I know Return wasn’t Romero’s but NOTLD writer John Russo got writing credits for Return).
oh yeah wanted to add I just got a projector and watched the original Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead, it was like going to the movies to seem them. great experience!
Like the original print they had locked away in a studio vault?
oh and did anyone here about this:
University of Florida Prepared for Zombie Attack
Fla. college ready for flesh-eating zombie attack
(AP) ? 1 day ago
GAINESVILLE, Fla. ? No one expects a zombie apocalypse. But the University of Florida is making sure officials are ready for a night of the living dead, just in case.
The school has a plan for responding to the undead on its Web site among outlines for dealing with hurricanes and pandemics.
The exercise lays out how university officials would respond to attacks by “flesh-eating, apparently life impaired individuals.” It notes that a zombie outbreak might include “documentation of lots of strange moaning.”
A University of Florida spokesman says the exercise was written by an employee to “add a little bit of levity” to disaster preparation discussions.
check out the pdf they had on the school’s website but took down here: http://www.tampabay.com/specia…..ercise.pdf
Your link is The SugarFreed.
Your link is The SugarFreed. /i>
Dare I, dare I?
That’s “The The Sugarfreed”.
Calling this one in from Suki, you PBed your link and H&R is not playing nice with Chrome again.
I would probably put a straight zombie film higher (maybe Dawn of the Dead), but I seriously think Shaun of the Dead should be at least number two.
Levity? Ha! Cover story. Great that UF will survive the zombie apocalypse.
Wow, that is very dissapointng dude. I just dont get it.
RT
http://www.complete-privacy.net.tc
How did privacy bot get in here without The SugarFree summoning it?
Didn’t you hear, Sook? PB broke free of his master’s control. Now he roams the moors, attacking villagers and interjecting non-sequiturs into conversations in order to feed his unquenchable lust for heroin.
He is the Noam Chomsky of the intertubez?
No, that would require an army of shambling, obedient grad students at his beck and call. Although I imagine PB could probably get a teaching spot at Harvard.
I would probably put a straight zombie film higher
Zombie cisgenderism! For a magazine called “Reason”…
Drink?
What about Eraserhead? I can’t remember; were there zombies in the movie, or just in the theater?
*I definitely cannot be bothered to actually *read the fucking list*
Speaking of Shawn of the dead, how on earth did those guys manage to escape from zombies in a Jaguar? Talk about suspension of disbelief!
Speaking of Zombies!
Greenspan is on my teevee with G Stephanopulpulous. Please, George! Pull out a chainsaw and cut off his head!
It’s the only way to be sure.
night of the living dead + pleasantville + lassie = Fido what i believe to be the first post-zombie apocolyptic love story.
Katrina Vanden Heuvel thinks “jobs” are a discrete, specific “product” which can be created by the government.
Shut the fuck up, Katrina.
Can’t believe I’m away from a computer and there’s a Zombie post. OK kids, I will give you two zombie movies you have never seen but will disturb you.
First is the gay zombie masterpiece Otto or Up With Dead People (http://www.ottothezombie.de/) … It’s pretty wacky and you gotta be pretty open minded (as a straight) to last the whole thing.
The second is The Stink of Flesh which has a couple of interesting perversions and a anti-hero Matool whose favorite way of dispatching Zombies is with a hammer and giant nails. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stink_of_Flesh
Among the few to include live on dead rape!
i just watched Stink of Flesh on Netflix, i was a little disappointed by the zombie rape. Otto was sicker by far. The chunky swinger wife creeped me out though. she reminded me of lacey from rock of love with an added 40 pounds.
I should mention that Stink of Flesh was filmed in Albuquerque and features loads of locals … I bought my copy from Matool himself — he owns the local horror/alt video store.
Did Keif ever screen it at the Guild?
And did you see I Sell the Dead when it screened?
That was a documentary.
I’m here all week.
Hmmmm There were a couple of public showings if I remember correctly, but I am not sure the guild was the site….. A couple of us up here in Madrid are plotting some zombie movie nights and will feature every possible contender.
Madrid is a great town for zombies, surely.
There were four screenings at Bubonicon 36
Zombie threads equal peace and love?!?!?!
But the question remains, would Dario Argento’s Demons 1 and 2 count?
What about Ed and His Dead Mother
Huh? Huh?
But the question remains, would Dario Argento’s Demons 1 and 2 count?
Dario only produced those, douchebag. Lamberto Bava (Mario Bava’s son) directed them. Get your shit straight.
Oh cry me a river, but i think your criticism makes my statement more accurate. Unless a producer is something different in your version of libertopia.
Forgive this humble troll for thinking of Dario, but his name came first since i watched Opera and mother of tears this weekend.
Land of the dead sucks, even if Asia is in it.
Why are you watching his shittiest movies? Make an effort and watch Suspiria or Profondo Rosso. Even Tenebre would be fine.
And yes, Romero is finished. Everyone loses it eventually, and he lost it by Bruiser.
A note about Asia Argento: a friend of mine is personal friends with Dario, and filmed the documentary that is on the Two Evil Eyes DVD about Dario. He took pictures of Dario and his young daughter as part of it, and guess what? Asia had a huge nose job. She had a honker like you can’t believe.
I own Suspiria, and i always crack up at the end of Tenebre when she morphs into that plastic grim reaper. Opera was an alright slasher, it’s definitely worth a rewatch down the road. Shoot me, i picked up Mother of tears in the bargain bin, and wanted to see the last one.
but when you’re quick to throw insults, we often make mistakes.
Madrid is a great town for zombies, surely.
Barcelona seemed pretty good for zombies or whatever they were in Rec.
I think they had rabies, douchelord.
That’s why I said “whatever”, and it was some kind of plague, douchemaster.
Madrid, NM. And we certainly do have rabies. And the plague. And Hanta.
ACK! New Mexico! Birthplace of my online stalker.
And the plague…
If you have prarie dogs (I know it might be too arid for them there), you actually do have the plague. About 10 people a year catch bubonic plague in this country, and they are either ranchers or hunters shooting prarie dogs, and then getting bit by the fleas after handling the corpses.
Serves them right intfearing with mother nature 🙂
Baked Penguin,
NM has one of the highest incidences of plague in the US. Informal state motto: land of the flea, home of the plague.
NM,
Is that you hitting the blog from Albuquerque, on Comcast and enjoying Suki’s CB ten-four post?
Nope.
Good morning NM and thank you.
Plan B goes into effect on the blog tonight.
Funny thing, Hamas girl stopped keyword searching her own name on the blog when I made a post about it happening (deleted Sat. morning). Then I started getting hits from Albuquerque, her home town, not searching for her name but staying on long enough to read the whole page.
Nah, no possible connection, right?
Stay tuned for the “Hamas girl” topic on the blog tonight.
View it here:
http://sukiproject.blogspot.co…..-girl.html
And preview is back.
Oh we have prairie dogs by the score. However, I have been led to believe that our plague is carries by certain flea-infected mice or pack rats
Can you keep the money laundering, tattooed, Hamas infested ones back there instead of shipping them here via the Caribbean and Buffalo?
Why on Earth would you handle a dead prairie dog? After you shoot them, you leave them for the other critters to dispose of.
Circle of life.
How do you skin it, cook it and sell it if you don’t handle it?
Well, let me recommend The Seventh Seal, although I imagine you’ve probably seen it already.
John, you can always hope your stalker gets the plague…
She is in Del Ray, VA now. We don’t get much plague here, but plenty of Hamas to go with your hummus.
http://bubonicon.com/
Where plague and zombies meet.
Hay Suki!!
Has John Taken’ ya for a ride in his Jeep yet?
His heat pump is still crankin’ out surplus carbon credits, I assume.
I feel strongly about it and love learning more on this topic. If possible, as you gain expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more information? It is extremely helpful for me.