Reason Morning Links: China Gets Served, Germany Gets Punk'd, the Hammer Gets Down

- Trade war: It's on.

- Barack Obama will make a push today for new financial regulations.

- Pranksters persuade the German media that a suicide bombing took place in California.

- Osama bin Laden, or someone claiming to be Osama bin Laden, releases a new message.

- Rick Santorum ponders a White House run.

- An early glimpse at Tom DeLay's moves on Dancing with the Stars.

Comments

[Kyle Jordan]

"? Trade war: It's on.

? Barack Obama will make a push today for new financial regulations."

Good fucking Christ!

Is it too early to start drinking?

[Vines & Cattle]

Drinking? Not after President Santorum reinstates prohibition!

[Kyle Jordan]

"As symbolism goes, 26 Wall St. seems a fitting address for his speech. George Washington was inaugurated at that spot. The nation's first Congress met there and adopted the Bill of Rights. The federal government packed up in 1790 and moved to Philadelphia, and then to Washington. But it stormed back into Wall Street a year ago in forceful and frantic fashion, becoming entwined in the financial industry."

I'm not entirely sure what it is, but something in the above paragraph makes me sick to my stomach. I think it's the mere linking of this fucking piece of shit that we have in office now with the place that the Bill of Rights was adopted at.

[Cabeza de Vaca]

"Rick Santorum ponders a White House run"

Just when you think politics couldn't get any worse you hear something like this.

[Cabeza de Vaca]

Huckabee/Santorum 2012

[SugarFree]

But the upside is... when he loses, that fat daughter of his can blubber once more for our amusement.

[SugarFree]

Assuming the psycho-killer son hasn't murdered her yet.

[Kyle Jordan]

"Huckabee/Santorum 2012"

Damn dude! Don't even joke about that. Scarier than hell.

[FrBunny]

I'm sure by now his son has graduated Hogwarts.

[SugarFree]

"My tie keeps the demons in."

[Kyle Jordan]

The elder daughter looks like she controls the son through kinky sex and humiliation.

In fact, that whole family makes me want to hide in the mountains.

[Nick]

From the Brickbats:

Two Gwinnett County police sergeants have resigned and Cpl. Gary Miles has been arrested after Miles allegedly used a Taser on a Waffle House waiter as a joke. The sergeants reportedly saw the incident and did not report it. The department is investigating claims a fourth officer pointed a Taser at a waiter's groin in a separate incident.

These assholes should be tased and then charged with disorderly conduct for their involuntary movements and audible outbursts.

[FrBunny]

Nick, I'm sorry, I'm going to let you finish your speech in a minute, but Beyonc? made one of the greatest videos of all time.

[SugarFree]

The older daughter is thinking wistfully of the girl on her softball team and the time they got caught in the rain and ran to her house and innocently changed clothes in front of each other and how her hand lingered just a bit too long on hers when she passed her a mug of hot cocoa and it was the perfect time and she wishes, oh she wishes that she had found the courage that day.

[Nick]

The mom looks like she can't wait to get back stage and take another swig from her flask.

How much you wanna bet the reason the youngest daughter is crying is because the older girl just told her there is no Santa Clause. She's 8. You know she doesn't give a shit her dad got ousted.

[Rich]

"The fact of the matter is that if we don't pass financial regulatory reform audit the Fed, then banks are going to go back to the same things that they were doing before."

FTFY.

[!]

Osama bin Laden, or someone claiming to be Osama bin Laden, releases a new message.

Is Obama going to claim this counts as finding bin Laden when the Bush administration couldn't?

[Tricky Prickears]

He will urge members of the financial community "to take responsibility, not only to support reforming the regulatory system but also to avoid a return to the practices on Wall Street that led us to the financial crisis," an administration official said Sunday.

Are you fucking kidding me?!? He, and others, should have thought about that before they bailed their asses out. He had the chance to put the Fear of God into them, but he let them slide to live another day, and make the same mistakes, only this time, they know full well, the government won't let them go bankrupt. Are you fucking kidding me?

BHO: "Hey guys, please don't do that again."

Investment Bankers: "Sure Mr. President, we won't do that again. Hehehe

[Swine Flew]

"Your Tears Are So Yummy and Sweet"

Thanks for reminding me that Julian Sanchez is a useless little cunt.

[SugarFree]

Good job, Supreme Court. Way to crack down on schools strip searching students.

[Art-P.O.G.]

Thanks for reminding me that Julian Sanchez is a useless little cunt.

Why is the female pudenda (or the male counterpart for that matter) used to impugn people's character? Anyway, fuck off.

[Swine Flew]

psssst...

you still got a little shit smear on the corner of your mouth.

[SugarFree]

Art, practice the Zen Of Ignoring The Troll.

[Kyle Jordan]

"Are you fucking kidding me?!?"

Yeah Tricky, he is. All of the bailout bullshit was to gain more government control over the financial sector.

[Swine Flew]

"Art, practice the Zen Of Ignoring The Troll."

Translation: I'm a useless little cunt too!

[Citizen Nothing]

You said "Santorum."
Hehehe.

[Art-P.O.G.]

Ganto's Ax: If you ignore me I will troll. If you pay attention to me, I will troll also.

Anyway, sage advice from SugarFree.

[SugarFree]

Enlightenment is like the moon reflected on the water.
The moon does not get wet, nor is the water broken.
Although its light is wide and great,
The moon is reflected even in a puddle an inch wide.
The whole moon and the entire sky
Are reflected in one dewdrop on the grass.
-Dogen

[Swine Flew]

"Ganto's Ax: If you ignore me I will troll. If you pay attention to me, I will troll also."

How about: If one uses a picture of a candidate's crying kid in order to express your dislike for said candidate, then one is, just like Julian Sanchez, a usless little cunt (same goes for those who posted barbs).

But if one expresses concern about this childish unprofessional practice, one is apparently a troll.

Funny, funny system you children are running.

[Bitter b*stard]

"Huckabee/Santorum 2012"

Probably one of the few sets of two names that could re-elect Obama/Biden.

[Art-P.O.G.]

Probably one of the few sets of two names that could re-elect Obama/Biden.

It's like a monster heel tag team.

[The Angry Optimist]

I did not agree with the mockery of Santorum's kids, either. However, Swine Flew, you should consider that by using gutter-level insults, that you are no better than the ones you decry.

Poor baby. Hoisted by your own retard.

[Atanarjuat]

"Huckabee/Santorum 2012"

Probably one of the few sets of two names that could re-elect Obama/Biden.

I imagine the LP would do well that election.

[Spartacus]

I'm not sure the words "Santorum" and "runs" should be used in the same sentence. I will leave it to SugarFree to compose an appropriate paragraph.

[Episiarch]

Funny, funny system you children are running.

Actually, it was a funny, funny blog post by Sanchez. Maybe if you took the telephone pole out of your ass you might see that.

[Swine Flew]

STFU, TAO.

[Citizen Nothing]

One vote here in favor of the mockery of Santorum's kids.
That picture is funny, funny shit. Thanks for the reminder, SF.

[SugarFree]

More fat kid hijinks.

[T]

One vote here in favor of the mockery of Santorum's kids.
That picture is funny, funny shit. Thanks for the reminder, SF.

That entire thread is a classic example of why I keep coming here. It deserves a special mention in the H&R hall of fame.

And if the final ticket in '12 is Huckabee/Santorum, it may be time to give up and start voting with a bullet.

[FrBunny]

More fat kid hijinks.

Wow, "Dan T" throwback.

[Art-P.O.G.]

More fat kid hijinks.

Anytime I start to consider myself mature, my laughter at pictures like that reminds me that I'm really not. Heh heh.

[T]

Anytime I start to consider myself mature, my laughter at pictures like that reminds me that I'm really not.

Anytime I start to consider myself mature, my wife is more than happy to remind me I'm not. Since I've outsourced that function, I can laugh at the fat kid pictures guilt-free.

[BakedPenguin]

The "Tears Are Yummy and Sweet" was one of the funniest things I have read, ever.

If asshole politicians didn't trot (or tart) out their families as PR kewpie dolls that, for some unfathomable reason, make them more worthy of voting for, then it would be in poor taste to target them for derisive laughter. So long as they are used as voting bait props, however, they are fair game - and fuck you and your fat, crying children if you disagree.

[Hacha Cha]

Santorum couldn't even beat Casey as an incumbent who had represented Pennsylvania in congress since 1990. he is also an idiot. there is no way he'd win the primaries. he'd make an ass out of himself in all of the debates too. I may have to switch registration from libertarian to republican again just to vote for Ron Paul again, this time just to place a vote against Santorum.

[Hacha Cha]

^I obviously meant voting in the republican primary election .

[Flange]

Berkeley has finally come up with an answer to the question posed by the annual parade: How Berkeley Can You Be?

The answer is: Very Berkeley - as long as you don't sell beer off the back of floats, toss candy to kids or walk naked down University Avenue.

Those restrictions, plus some unexpected permit fees, ended the 13-year run of the How Berkeley Can You Be? parade and festival, a bacchanalian romp through downtown that featured everything from flame throwers to Nobel laureates to motorized couches.

Daunted by the new restrictions, organizers have decided to cancel the event, slated this year for Sept. 27.

"The city saw a bunch of long-haired people having fun and they said, 'Uh-oh,' " said organizer John Solomon, a retired Berkeley restaurant owner. "They city is being very controlling. They want to turn this into the Solano Stroll."

The parade, started by Solomon and a few friends, was intended to poke fun at Berkeley's famed devotion to political correctness. One popular contingent was called PETA, People Eating Them Animals, in which participants shot Spam into the audience with bazookas, hacked at a pig's head with a chain saw and handed cigarettes to kids, Solomon said.

[Flange]

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/09/14/BA6D19LSFA.DTL

[EscapedWestOfTheBigMuddy]

Lay off the kid already.

The real opprobrium there belongs to the (thankfully ex-) senator for using his children as props in his campaign. Asshole. Twice an asshole for bringing them out at concession speech time.

The wife is an adult and gets to decide whether or not to be used in this way.

[J sub D]

How about: If one uses a picture of a candidate's crying kid in order to express your dislike for said candidate, then one is, just like Julian Sanchez, a usless little cunt (same goes for those who posted barbs).

How about If one uses his children to campaign he should expect them to be treated like all other campaign supporters.

Santorum set his own family up for ridicule with that staged event and you you blame the ridilulers.

Not everybody is impressed by crying children being exploitedcd by their own parents for political purposes.

[SugarFree]

May favorite part of that thread:

If as many people actually subscribed to Reason as came to the blog comments to say that weren't going to subscribe to it any longer out of some imagined butthurt, Gillespie could have a new jacket for every day of the week and a fancy leather tuxedo just for Friday night.

[!]

fancy leather tuxedo just for Friday night

He wears that with chaps and without a shirt in the evenings, from what I have heard, of course.

[SugarFree]

I wish we had a way to preview posts...

[Meta4]

"Santorum set his own family up for ridicule with that staged event and you you blame the ridilulers."

I do. No one put a gun to Julian Sanchez head.

I agree with muddy. Lay off the kid already. Go after Santorum. I see Julian Sanchez as nothing more than a bully* in this case.

* someone who beats up little girls and then laughs about how cool it was with his buddies later.

[!]

SF,

I wish we had a way to preview posts...

This is the real intertubez, not Snowcrash.

[SugarFree]

Damn you, Da5id!

[Naga Sadow]

Leather tuxedo? Sweet!

[Art-P.O.G.]

Leather tuxedo? Sweet!

A leather tuxedo would either be transcendantly badass or hideous. There is no middle ground.

[Enough About Palin]

http://media.photobucket.com/image/%252522Leather%20tuxedo%252522/caffeinatedangel/DavidBeckhaminablackeleganttuxedo.jpg

[T]

Look, the definitive argument on mocking Santorum's kids was already had. Go read it. You won't make a single argument that wasn't made then. You won't change anybody's mind, either. But keep flailing and miss the genius that was the original thread.

I see Julian Sanchez as nothing more than a bully* in this case.

* someone who beats up little girls and then laughs about how cool it was with his buddies later.

Because mocking people on the Internet is just the same as beating them up in real life. Let's see if that works, you pathetic bucket of lard. Do your tears taste like ham? If the two were actually identical, you should have a fat lip and a black eye, mondo tardo.

[Mike Laursen]

Rick Santorum ponders a White House run.

President Santorum would be a nightmare. On the other hand, the Daily Show would be funny, again.

[Al Gore]

"Look, the definitive argument on mocking Santorum's kids was already had"

The science is settled.

[Conservative Douche]

On the other hand, the Daily Show would be funny, again.

Is John Stewart being replaced?