Reason Morning Links: Big Government, Bad Countrywide, Busy Raelians

• "White House Set to Appoint a Pay Czar"

• The outlines of Obama's health care plan become more clear.

• "One of every six dollars of Americans' income is now coming in the form of a federal or state check or voucher."

• The SEC accuses Countrywide's former CEO of fraud.

• The Raelians claim they're going to build UFOland in Las Vegas, "where visitors can attend a Happiness Academy and see a full-size replica of a UFO."

Comments

[Hugh Akston]

Obama seems to be a big fan of the double dash. I can’t imagine a place where that kind of idiotic affectation would actually be appropriate, but he seems to want his written documents to have dramatic pauses in them, as though he were standing over the shoulder of downtrodden Americans–inspiring them to keep up hope for Congress to make things all better.

I guess no one suggested a copyediting czar.

[Pro Libertate]

I think Obama needs a Shut the Hell Up Czar.

[proud libitard]

god, I love czars! More, I say! More!

[proud libitard]

PL,

I think the title would be STFU Czar, no?

[FrBunny]

visitors can … see a full-size replica of a UFO

Well at least it will be full-size. Do you know how difficult it is to build a scale replica of something that doesn’t fucking exist?

[Cabeza de Vaca]

“The Raelians claim they’re going to build UFOland in Las Vegas”

This sounds great, I love crazy religions. I will totally go to it if admission is free.

[Kyle Jordan]

UFOs exist and are very real. They’re just most likely NOT a fucking alien craft. Then again, if everything is known to at least one person, nothing is really unidentified.

[Cab]

UFOland makes more sense than a Pay Czar.

[Fluffy]

Who’s that guy that hates the Feministing people? Is his name Sugarfree or something? Make him real happy by linking to their post today claiming that the vigilante violence in Philadelphia is OK. We need to have the anarchist / minarchist argument about that.

[juris imprudent]

Dammit enough with the czars. Can’t we please have at least one czarina? Sexist bastards.

[Cabeza de Vaca]

I want one of those padded uniforms Rael wears.

[P Brooks]

I want to be the UFO Tsar.

[Kyle Jordan]

Or the Czar Czar. Overseer of the many Czars of the United States.

I really didn’t like typing the last part.

[John]

Unemployment hit 9.4%. That is hope and change you can believe in. Any one want to give odds on the chances that The Obama will go his first two years in office without one quarter of positive job growth or GDP growth? I think it is at least 25% at this point. I think his chances of getting a quarter that goes above 1% is less than 10%. Good thing we blew all that money on the stimulus. It certainly is turning things around.

[P Brooks]

Mr. Feinberg, founder and managing partner of the law firm Feinberg Rozen LLP, spent several years overseeing payouts totaling more than $7 billion to victims of the 9/11 attacks. He personally reviewed every claim, approving or denying awards and allocating sums to be paid out of the Treasury.

Compassion Czar.

[Fascitis Necrotizante]

Yesterday’s news: Obama names Chicago environmentalist as Great Lakes Czar.

[PantsFan]

Obama names his fundraiser Canada Czar

[Citizen Nothing]

Hugh, what’s with the double-dashophobia?
I like — no, I love! — the double dash and use it all the time. (Perhaps the copy editors are cringing, but they let me get away with it.)

[Abner MacGillicuddy]

Just so long as he picked some one who speaks Canadian.

[Citizen Nothing]

Somebody remind the Canada Czar that he’ll need a passport.

[P Brooks]

Apparently, Roger Penske is going to buy Saturn. Interesting.

[mk]

Will UFOland be staffed by clones?

Anyway, I thought the Raelians were danged furriners. Will Lonewhacko have something to say about the French cult menace invading our shores? Aren’t American sci-fi cults good enough or something? Say what you want about the CoS, at least they are Americans.

[J sub D]

• “White House Set to Appoint a Pay Czar”

Start with GM and Chrysler. Please start with their engineering, accounting, executive, legal, advertising and purchasing departments. None of these people should be renumerated for more than the median wage of female minority hourly workers.

Please, oh pretty please with a cherry on top, start creating the socialist paradise based on what is “fair” with the auto companies you just fucking bought. Since the money that you’ve already invested in these viable firms flushed down the shitter isn’t coming back anyway, let’s do the fucking experiment. I really mean this, if the CEO or anyone else at Government Motors makes more than a GS-15, fire them and allow current government employees to apply for the job.

• The outlines of Obama’s health care plan become more clear.

I am really beginning to despise Obama. I had low expectations for the community organizer. Now that aggogant twit shows that he thinks he’s qualified to micromanage every goddam thing in America, I am beginning to really fear how much this Ivy league educated “legal scholar” is going to fuck up the economy.

It is comforting to know I’m smarter than the last two U.S. presidents. Belay that, it is frightening to realize that I’m smarter than the last two U.S. presidents combined.

• “One of every six dollars of Americans’ income is now coming in the form of a federal or state check or voucher.”

GWB, the gift that keeps on giving. That number will only increase under the Obama administration. All the while his fellators will be continue to crow “Bush started it!”.

• The SEC accuses Countrywide’s former CEO of fraud.

It would not surprise me if he’s guilty. It would also not surprise me if he ends up getting sacrificed on the altar of “somebody has to be held accountable”.

• The Raelians claim they’re going to build UFOland in Las Vegas, “where visitors can attend a Happiness Academy and see a full-size replica of a UFO.”

They’ve got 25 years of research! 25 goddam years! I can’t won’t bother to argue with that. I don’t debate bag ladies either.

[J sub D]

Apparently, Roger Penske is going to buy Saturn. Interesting.

Front page of the local here in Motown. I hope he gets fire sale prices, tells the UAW to fuck off, and starts to build practical economy cars as Saturn was originally envisioned. Good luck Roger.

[Rhywun]

Benefit spending is $17,000 per household? Holy fucking shit.

[Pro Libertate]

I’m getting sick of this government. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

[Aresen]

The Raelians claim they’re going to build UFOland in Las Vegas, “where visitors can attend a Happiness Academy and see a full-size replica of a UFO.

Las Vegas IS a Happiness Academy. And I can see all the aliens I want by just walking the strip or Fremont Street after dark.

[Aresen]

Apparently, Roger Penske is going to buy Saturn. Interesting.

Can I buy Mars? I know it’s a lot smaller, but I think it will give me a better return on my investment.

[P Brooks]

Roger Penske could buy Uranus, if he wanted it.

[Pro Libertate]

Aresen,

Sorry, but we can’t buy things in space. It’s a giant socialistic utopia, thanks to the Moon Treaty, which, among other things “bans any ownership of any extraterrestrial property by any organization or person, unless that organization is international and governmental” (from the wiki summary).

The rag wasn’t ratified by any country actually going to space or capable of going to space, which probably explains why it uses “the Moon” to mean all celestial bodies. Which means that if you can get there first, you have an argument that you can own it.

[P Brooks]

Phil (he may be an idiot, but he’s “our” idiot) Lebeau said, a few minutes ago, GM is going to build the cars under contract; for now anyway.

Based on what The Captain did with Detroit Diesel, Saturn will probably be selling more (and better) cars than Chevrolet in five years.

[Pro Libertate]

LeBeau? So that’s where he’s been since the war.

[John]

I can’t figure out why The Obama killed Saturn. It is the one decent brand GM has. My dad has an Aura and it is a really good car. A lot of people really liked Saturn. I with P Brooks. I bet Penske takes Saturn and kicks The Obama Motors’ ass.

[Pro Libertate]

Secret Muslims hate the planet Saturn.

[Aresen]

PL

I know about the treaty.

I expect it will be as respectfully honored by all parties as most treaties are.

BTW, I have some nice view lots on Olympus Mons available if you are interested.

[Tulpa]

Somebody remind the Canada Czar that he’ll need a passport.

I meant to mention this on the thread on that subject, but it turns out you don’t need a passport. An EDL (enhanced drivers license) from your home state will do the trick if you’re traveling by land or sea.

[Pro Libertate]

I call Jupiter!

[P Brooks]

But does He answer?

[Pro Libertate]

I meant the planet. Jupiter is fictional, anyway. Only Zeus is real.

I call Jupiter’s moons, too!

[Pro Libertate]

I also own the Sun!

[Aresen]

Tulpa | June 5, 2009, 12:05pm | #

Somebody remind the Canada Czar that he’ll need a passport.

I meant to mention this on the thread on that subject, but it turns out you don’t need a passport. An EDL (enhanced drivers license) from your home state will do the trick if you’re traveling by land or sea.

Hell, no. He’ll need a passport. A diplomatic passport. With a letter signed by Great Czar Obama, Ruler of All of the United States of America, Czar of Many Czars, Automaker Supreme and Protector of the People’s Health.

You think we’re going to let any old fundraiser walk in, waive a driver’s license and pretend he is the Emissary of the Great One?

[robc]

Pro Lib,

Im suing you for my last (and all the previous) sunburn.

You are going to pay for not restraining your orb.

[Pro Libertate]

robc,

Fine, but no more Sun services for you! One year!

[R C Dean]

Which means that if you can get there first, you have an argument that you can own it.

Your argument is a sure winner if its backed up by sufficient firepower.

I can’t figure out why The Obama killed Saturn.

The UAW has always hated Saturn, and has been out to close it down as a separate operating unit from day 1.

If Penske buys Saturn, does he get it free and clear of the union? Or is he planning to close the plants and just use the dealers?

[Isaac Bartram]

I won’t try to predict whether Saturn will survive, but what I do suspect is that somewhere down the road you will still see new Cadillacs and Corvettes and Jeeps on the road. They may even be made in the same plants and even by the same workers. But they won’t belong to General Motors or Chrysler.

They’ll belong to companies like India’s Tata and if the UAW is involved you can bet they’ll be working under contracts a lot different from the bullshit “concessions” they’ve been giving the big three.

Just because Obama thinks he can stop the tide coming in doesn’t mean he can. King Canute’s lesson is wasted on modern politicians.

Of course, the real question that remains is what to do with all those UAW retirees.

[Isaac Bartram]

They’ll belong to companies like India’s Tata…

And if that happens, we’ll have the bonus entertainment of watching nativist heads assplode.

[R C Dean]

Of course, the real question that remains is what to do with all those UAW retirees.

Walmart and Social Security.

Of course, we all know that they will transition over to the public tit, and be sitting around fat and retired while the productive amongst us work our asses off to make enough inflated money to pay our higher taxes so they can sit around all fat and retired.

Because they won, bitches.

[Isaac Bartram]

Because they won, bitches.

Unfortunately, I wrote that sentence badly.

Of course, yes, as beneficiaries of a bloated system based on an unrealistic promise, they should take their lumps through reduced benefits and a less generous healthcare program.

But, you’re right. Ain’t gonna happen.