GM Hums Because It Doesn't Know the Words


Kids love the Hummer

Of all the bad arguments for bailing out General Motors, the one that always filled me with an Al Scaduto-worthy Urge 2 Kill was the nostalgic claim that Cadillac and a bunch other beloved American brand names would vanish if GM were left to die. You don't need to be the economist with the $20 bill to assume that any brand with sufficient value would outlive GM's epic misrule. And now there's evidence: Two buyers are apparently competing to buy the sorta popular, sorta too-big, sorta controversial Hummer brand. Details from Bloomberg:

Talks are continuing with two bidders for the sport-utility vehicle unit after GM didn't reach an accord over the weekend as it expected to do, said the person, who asked not to be identified because the discussions are private. The person wouldn't elaborate on the suitors.

I was hoping Hummer would be one of the brands that didn't survive, not because I object to the gas-guzzling but because I object to the deterioration of language the nearly two-decade brand represents. A boxy, militaristic all-terrain vehicle that drives like a truck and probably shouldn't be on civilian roads is called a HUMVEE. That's an iconic vehicle, developed by the truly great and lamented American Motors Corp. A HUMMER is a blowjob, and it still will be long after the last SUV has been replaced by dilithium-powered antigravity cars built by the Japanese.