Supreme Court

Souter Ends…

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women and minorities hardest hit.

(Relevant joke here.)

NEXT: You Can't Say That On Television

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  1. In the oldest version of that joke that I’ve seen, from the early ’60s, it was the then-liberal New York Post that used the “hardest hit” headline. Obviously, that one doesn’t work anymore…

  2. We’re extending Title IX to science and engineering. Why not the Supreme Court too? This country is fucked.

  3. So long Dipshit. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

    Here’s to a long protracted confirmation bloodbath.

  4. I am genuinely amazed that Jenny Granholm gets mentioned. Her ascension to the SCOTUS would violate the Peter Principle since her tenure as governor of my fair state has been marked by nothing but incompetence.

  5. Homer: We played Dungeons & Dragons for three hours! Then I was slain by an elf.

    Bart: Listen to yourself, man: you’re hangin’ with nerds.

    Homer: You take that back!

    Marge: Homer, please! These boys sound very nice, but they’re clearly nerds.

    Homer: Really? But nerds are my mortal enemy!

    Lisa: Dad, nerds are nothing to fear. In fact, they’ve done some pretty memorable things. Some nerds of note include…popcorn magnate Orville Redenbacher, rock star David Byrne, and supreme court justice David Souter.

    Homer: [gasp] Oh, not Souter! Oh, no!

  6. I am genuinely amazed that Jenny Granholm gets mentioned.

    Awesome, my joke prediction from the other thread is coming real. Wait, that’s not awesome at all.

  7. “Marge: “Look, Homer. Do you want Bart to grow up being Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, or a cheesy male stripper?”

    Homer: “Can’t he be both, like the late Earl Warren??”

    Marge: “Earl Warren wasn’t a stripper!!!”

    Homer: “NOW whose being naive???”

  8. I just don’t understand how legal analysts can actually say out loud “he is looking to pick a minority or woman candidate”. What does that even mean? Why is that even the slightest of considerations?

  9. mark – ask MNG, he thinks we’re supposed to derive some significance from all the white dudes up there.

    What I don’t understand about the the drive to pick a woman or a minority is this: Doesn’t Obama have those two constituencies as a lock anyway? Why not toss a bone to moderates and look like a centrist?

  10. If Obama picks me for SCOTUS, I will accept.

  11. He’s obviously going to give the nomination to Biden.

    I’d start worrying about who he’s going to pick as the next vice-president.

  12. He should strive to maintain consistency on the court and pick a closeted gay man who lives with his mother.

  13. MNG

    Actually seeing where you get your news and analysis explains a lot.

  14. He should strive to maintain consistency on the court and pick a closeted gay man who lives with his mother.

    Neil Patrick Harris? Doogie Howser for SCOTUS!

  15. “He should strive to maintain consistency on the court and pick a closeted gay man who lives with his mother.”

    You mean Tim Cavanaugh?

  16. “I am genuinely amazed that Jenny Granholm gets mentioned. Her ascension to the SCOTUS would violate the Peter Principle since her tenure as governor of my fair state has been marked by nothing but incompetence.”

    We don’t use the Peter Principle anymore. Now it is the Dilbert Principle. The Dilbert Principle says that we promote someone based on incompetance to a position high enough to prevent them from doing too much damage. Given that being on the Supreme Court would prevvent Granhom from further destroying Michigan and only allow her to do damage where she can get four other justices to agree with her, putting Granhom on the Supreme Court would be a brilliant stroke of the Dillbert Principle.

  17. The Supreme Court has a Jewish seat, a black seat, and a cloested a-sexual gay man seat. don’t let the last one go unfilled after the loss of Sueter.

  18. BTW,

    The best joke ever told is the the NYT world ends minorities and women hit hardest joke, not the Bee Arther one referenced yesterday.

  19. Hey, that’s right, I’m an attorney. I’ll do it. What the hell.

  20. Like Hugo Black, I was born in Alabama. I’m also a minority–I’m male.

  21. Pro,

    Can you fill the sexually ambiguous closeted gay man seat? If not, I am sorry but you can’t have the job.

  22. Pro Lib, Won’t the sweet transvestite gear under the robe kinda creep out some of the others?

  23. “…and then the hooker says ‘let’s go, the room’s already paid for!’ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA”

  24. I heard a sound bite on the radio of Obama praising Souter for, amother things, “not being an absolutist”.

    Quite an odd thing to praise him for, seeing as how the law in general and the Constitution in particular are chock full of absolutes.

    Just another indication that the liberal mind is full of mush.

  25. “Pro Lib, Won’t the sweet transvestite gear under the robe kinda creep out some of the others?”

    Naw, him and Ruth Bader can shop for sexy longerei together. It will be great.

  26. the Constitution in particular [is] chock full of absolutes.

    Just to get this clear, Gilbert, what is your view of the Ninth Amendment?

  27. Well, no, I’m heterosexual. And I don’t think I’m willing to pull a Tootsie to get nominated to the Supreme Court.

    Crap.

    However. . .I am from a group that has traditionally been oppressed and maligned as well as discriminated against. I’m a libertarian.

  28. I’m taking up a collection to buy John a dictionary. Who’s in?

  29. How much do you want to bet he pick a Hispanic?

  30. J Sub D,

    “I” “O” what is the difference? I am not spelling challenged as much as typing challenged. If you ask me how to spell a word I can tell you. If I go to type it my mind goes ahead of my fingers and it ends in disaster.

  31. …sweet transvestite gear under the robe…

    Uhhh….

    Isn’t the robe STG?

    Kevin

  32. Hazel,

    Hey, wait, I’m back in! My wife is half-Colombian! Mi casa es su casa.

  33. Can he nominate his wife? A successful black woman that has the same baby-daddy for both her kids? Serious minority status.

  34. that has the same baby-daddy for both her kids [citation needed]

  35. “Just to get this clear, Gilbert, what is your view of the Ninth Amendment?”

    My view is that it is listed smack dab between the 8th and 10th Amendments.

  36. “Can he nominate his wife? A successful black woman that has the same baby-daddy for both her kids? Serious minority status.”

    Sure. But that is awefully bourgouis of her to have kids by the same man. I think that might be threatening to Obama and bring up his issues regarding his deadbeat father.

  37. What about Angelina Jolie? I believe no Tattoo-American has ever served on the Court. And she’s definitely female.

  38. His wife wouldn’t take the job. It’s not a no-show position and it doesn’t pay enough.

    On the subject of first biatch: I’ve been seeing/hearing stories lately on how much everyone adores Mrs. Obama. It seems to me reporters are trying to create this bit of news out of thin air. Or am I out of touch? I have yet to hear a single real-life person talk in a positive way about Mrs. O. And not much negative talk either. I’ve yet to meet anyone who really cares much at all about her one way or another.

    I think only one person has said anything to me about their dog either. Maybe I’m just blessed.

  39. I believe no Tattoo-American has ever served on the Court.

    Sandra Day O’Connor.

  40. robc,

    Really? What of? Where?

  41. I have yet to hear a single real-life person talk in a positive way about Mrs. O. And not much negative talk either. I’ve yet to meet anyone who really cares much at all about her one way or another.

    This may make her one of the best first ladies in, at least, recent history.

  42. Really? What of? Where?

    I just assumed.

  43. Pro Lib,Ginsburg has a tat of a butterfly right next to the landing strip she keeps nicely waxed.

  44. BiBigslacker,

    I live in a neighborhood full of liberals. Me and one woman up the street were the only ones who didn’t vote for Obama in my neighborhood. I have never heard one person say one thing about the first biatch. I work with Dem operatives and they don’t have much to say either. The media desparately wants her to be Jacki Kennedy. Sorry, no dice.

  45. Ginsburg has a tat of a butterfly right next to the landing strip she keeps nicely waxed.

    And a racing flag tramp stamp.

  46. And a racing flag tramp stamp.

    I think I’m going to puke. Labial piercings too?

  47. Epi, careful. you’ll chip a tooth.

  48. “And a racing flag tramp stamp.”

    I recently read somewhere that originally, it was a Confederate flag and that she had it altered as soon as she was tapped to be on the Supreme Court.

  49. I nominate a penny. Flip it, and

    heads = affirm the earlier decision
    tails = reverse the earlier decision

    The coin will do a lot better than Souter or anyone Obama is going to appoint.

  50. “Labial piercings too?”

    No, clit.

  51. I hear she has a tattoo of Pudsey Bear on her pudsey bear.

  52. HUGE VULVA

  53. “Labial piercings too?”

    “No, clit.”

    Are you deliberatly trying to make EVERYBODY lose their lunch?

  54. bigbigslacker – celebrities practically wax lyrical about how elegant and well-dressed and blah blah blah she is…

  55. Pudsey Bear Piercings

  56. woman, hispanic or both”

    Maybe they could add gay, disabled and Jewish.

    We’d end up with a compassionate, well dressed differently-abled person with a inbred sense of guilt who’ll do a job regular Americans aren’t willing to do.

  57. I would love to see Obama pick a transgender judge with a penis just so I could see all the reporters panic over how to tabulate the gender totals.

  58. I would love to see Obama pick a transgender judge with a penis just so I could see all the reporters panic over how to tabulate the gender totals.

    Holy shit. Janet Reno redux.

  59. Isn’t the robe STG?

    No, it’s religious garb.

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