Reason Morning Links: Swine Flu Panic, Regulation Revelations, and More Asset Forfeiture?

– Welcome to post-bailout America, where various federal agencies have replaced board rooms in fighting over how to salvage a failed company.

– Two former federal prosecutors argue in the NY Times for expanded use of asset forfeiture.

– Swine flu panic spreads. Actual swine flu spreads too, though much less rapidly.

– Bea Arthur, RIP. To borrow from Andrew Breitbart's Twitter feed, may she be remembered for more than being the target of the greatest joke ever told.

– "Perhaps one of the biggest mainstream business media cliches is the surprising discovery that industry leaders often favor regulation of their industry."

– Americans aren't necessarily less religious, they're just changing religions.

– Do conservatives know that Colbert is joking?

Comments

[Xeones]

RIP, Bea.

[High Every Body]

Bea Arthur, RIP. To borrow from Andrew Breitbart’s Twitter feed, may she be remembered for more than being the target of the greatest joke ever told.

Would not do x with y’s unit is the greatest joke ever told? Or do you mean the Jason Alexander comment?

Still no link about the Air Force One Manhattan Air Show?

[? Libertarian]

From the Colbert Huff piece:

according to a study from The Ohio State University

I stopped there. Seriously, what’s with the “The”, Ohio State? You realize it come across the same as when Prince changed his name to that baby-rattle symbol, right?

[Xeones]

Would not do x with y’s unit is the greatest joke ever told?

Nah, it was more of an excuse to link to that article. Kind of made me feel bad for Jerry Stiller though.

[High Every Body]

? Libertarian,

Is Ohio officially a State yet?

[John]

I am starting to think that the swine flu pandemic is the result of excitable latins. People die from flu every day. 36,000 a year in the US. If you classify every flu as “swine flu” you will get a lot of numbers and deaths. I am starting to think that is the case in Mexico. There is no scientific reason I have seen that would explain why the flu would be killer in Mexico but in nearly 100 cases thus far in the US, Canada and Europe not come close to killing anyone. IN the next few days either Americans and Europeans are going to start dying of this stuff or it is going to fizzle out.

[P Brooks]

Senior officials at both the FDIC and the Fed have only been involved in discussions about the plan for a few days, and there is concern among some officials that the process is moving too quickly, without adequate consideration of the available alternatives or the consequences of this approach.
The FDIC and the Federal Reserve both already have stretched their resources and their legal authority beyond any historical precedent. This latest plea for help, therefore, arrives at a time when help is harder to muster.

The winos are waking up in a puddle of crusty puke, and actually thinking they might not want any more of that Mad Dog just yet.

Shocking.

[Citizen Nothing]

“Seriously, what’s with the “The”, Ohio State?”

It’s like with “Fast and Furious.” They just want to make sure you know it’s the original and not a sequel.

True world’s funniest joke:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gpjk_MaCGM

[SugarFree]

There is no scientific reason I have seen that would explain why the flu would be killer in Mexico but in nearly 100 cases thus far in the US, Canada and Europe not come close to killing anyone.

Could it have something to do with Mexico being a third world country?

Swine flu will just be the bird flu that can find truffles, but an outbreak of a airborne disease in a place as crowded and dirty as Mexico City shouldn’t really be a shock to anyone. Add in substandard medical care and a reported cultural resistance to going to the doctor until you are so sick you can barely walk, and I’m surprised a slightly-stronger-than-normal flu virus hasn’t turned the entire country into The Stand.

[Blue]

Russia, Chinia and other asian countries have banned the sale of pork from the US. This is so many levels of stupid, it must be a kneejerk protectionist trick.

I’m worried about bacon supplies myself.

[SugarFree]

World’s Funniest Joke (according to “science”)

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: “OK, now what?”

Link

[EJM]

Do conservatives know that Colbert is joking?

At least NASA does (I think).

[P Brooks]

Two former federal prosecutors argue in the NY Times for expanded use of asset forfeiture.

They want just compensation for the victims, they do.

It’s not like anybody would ever be tempted to use aggressive asset forfeiture as a mechanism indistinguishable from a cops-and-robbers profit sharing scheme.

You know: “What if we steal from the rich BadGuyz and just *keep* it?”

[libertarian democrat]

Could it have something to do with Mexico being a third world country?

Exactly. Mexico City is not a clean place, and it’s far more crowded than New York. Also, worse medical care.

[T]

Russia, Chinia and other asian countries have banned the sale of pork from the US.

More for us! Yay! Bacon!

[SugarFree]

Play the “Rock Album Art or Science Fiction Book Cover” Game

[John]

“Could it have something to do with Mexico being a third world country?”

Yes but not for the reason you think. Because they are a third world country, they do not have the surveillance apparatus we do. As a result, they have a harder time confirming cases. They don’t have the ability to quickly run the tests to confirm that this flu really is swine flu. As a result, they are over classifying.

[hmm]

Watching a bunch of economists, lawyers, and political scientists fumble around the business world is getting to be entertaining. Even if it is a little scary.

Colbert is funny, even if he is liberal.

The only people that favor industry regulation are the people that can’t survive w/o it.

[ed]

Because they are a third world country, they do not have the surveillance apparatus we do.

Maybe they just drank the water.

[Rob]

Apparently the people at the NY Observer aren’t familiar with the literary conventions on paragraph use.

[Pro Libertate]

When I worked at Ohio State, I regularly used the lowercase “t” for “the”, in defiance of state law and the urging of the local churches. I also mocked their pretensions and told them that if they ever played Florida, we would humiliate them. In any sport.

[libertymike]

THE Ohio State University is a football thing guys. Ever check out Monday Night Football and now Sunday Night Football? More than 10 years ago, MNF began having the starting players on both offense and defense introduce themselves and state their alma mater. After the demise of MNF, NBC continued the practice on its Sunday night games.

Not unexpectedly, the players started stylin’. Thus, players from the University of Miami, began to say that they went to “The U.” Likewise, Ohio State alums began Emphasizing the THE in THE Ohio State University.

[Naga Sadow]

Pro Lib,

Even cricket?

[libertymike]

Oh my gosh, those former federal prosecutors make one compelling argument. Any good newspaper would not print the insane lunatic ravings of former parasites seeking more hosts.

[Dagny T.]

Posey, in response to Colbert, said, “I expected there would be some civil debate about it, but it wasn’t civil…There is no reason to say that I’m the illegitimate grandson of an alligator.”

They take their ‘gators mighty seriously down in The Florida, don’t they ProL?

[Naga Sadow]

libertymike,

I can follow their logic. Spoils of war, bro.

What is good in life?

[phalkor]

I wish they hadn’t canceled Monday Night Cricket.

[SugarFree]

What is good in life?

Know that the correct quote is “Conan, what is best in life?” That’s what’s good in life.

[JW]

If the print news industry doesn’t realize the swine flu panic is the bailout they’ve been waiting for, then I bid them a fond farewell, doors hitting asses, etc.

[Pro Libertate]

libertymike,

I’m not sure where it started, but it’s not just a football thing. It was in a usage guide when I worked there.

I just checked–it’s on-line:

The Ohio State University**

After the first full reference to The Ohio State University (note the capital T), the following references are acceptable:

Ohio State

the university (always lowercase)

Do not use “OSU” to refer to The Ohio State University.

OSU is such a silly place.

[Beltwy Reporter]

That asset forfeiture editorial is the sorriest piece of argument I have ever read. Get this statement

“To take just one example: Between stints in prison over the past decade, John A. Gotti, the former Gambino crime family boss, was able to return to his luxurious house in Oyster Bay Cove, on Long Island, where the median house value in 2007 was more than $2 million. Does anyone believe the money that Mr. Gotti bought it with was legitimately earned?”

So, everyone knows he is guilty now counts as proof? If he didn’t make the money legitimately, is it too much to ask that these fine prosecutors actually prove it in court? I guess so.

[robc]

Damn you Sugar Free!

I want to know how many I got right.

I recognized a few.

[John]

Forget this crap. This is big news.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1174221/Highly-intimate-photos-video-Carla-Bruni-ex-lover-stolen-Paris-flat.html

[Invisible Finger]

Expanded use of asset forfeiture. And people have the nerve to call Godwin’s Law an internet phenomenon.

[Naga Sadow]

*turning red with embarrassment*

I don’t know the correct way to quote . . . uh . . . I was worried about fair usage. I don’t want a lawsuit filed against me.

[Warty]

In Ohio, we take THE definite article pretty seriously.

[libertymike]

“greatest joke ever told?” Randy, if tongue in cheek, not funny. If for real, WTF? Not funny. Who here thinks that “I would not fuck Sandra Bernhard with Bea Athur’s dick” is:

(a) even marginally funny

(b) okay, ha ha funny

(c) not really funny

(d) the greatest joke ever told

[SugarFree]

robc,

The ones I didn’t know I looked up with TinEye. The only one that stumped both TinEye and me was #8.

[Episiarch]

Warty: a schmuck, or THE schmuck?

[Russ 2000]

Why does the Washington Post claim that GMAC is Chrysler’s rival? They’re both owned by Cerberus.

[libertymike]

Pro Lib-

Just perused your link. It is more than just a football thing-though the football connection (the practice of so many OSU alums stating that they went to THE Ohio State University during their MNF and now SNF intros) is why some of us are aware of the phenomenon.

[libertymike]

Further, Bea Arthur and the porn chick get an RIP and not Harry Kalas? I submit that Harry Kalas’ star in the entertainment/soicio-cultural firmament burned far brighter than either Maude’s or the nudie’s.

[Pro Libertate]

It’s the law:

CHAPTER 3335: OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY

3335.01 The Ohio State University.

The educational institution originally designated as the Ohio agricultural and mechanical college shall be known as “The Ohio State University.”

The leading object shall be, without excluding other scientific and classical studies, and including military tactics, to teach such branches of learning as are related to agricultural and mechanical arts.

Effective Date: 10-01-1953

Note the non-conforming chapter heading. I like the “military tactics” focus, as well.

[BakedPenguin]

Even cricket?

As an FSU grad, it pains me to say this, but with the number of South Asian, British, and Australian ex-pats here in FL., the Gators would cut The Ohio State University a new asshole if they ever played them in cricket.

[Pro Libertate]

Cricket with 6’5, 250 pound players that can run the 40 in 4.4 seconds? Hell yeah.

Just kidding–I have no idea what makes a cricket player good.

[Warty]

Epi: rapist, or therapist?

[SugarFree]

Epi is an analrapist.

[Episiarch]

Okay, NutraSweet, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over – an analyst and a therapist. The world’s first analrapist.

Warty: tell me about your mother, and then bend over.

[SugarFree]

I did I forget… or did I SUPER-REMEMBER?!?

[Pro Libertate]

Or are those implanted memories, SugarFree?

Unrelated question: Have you ever taken the Voight-Kampff Empathy Test?

[Warty]

That’s uncanny, Epi. How did you know that my mom used to say that all the time?

[Episiarch]

You know Warty, what tipped it for me was something your mom said while we were in bed together. Curiously, she said we had roughly the same build. From the waist up, I imagine.

[Dagny T.]

The world’s first analrapist.

He almost got arrested for those business cards.

[Warty]

Wait, so Urkobold is a Cylon? Makes sense.

[Dagny T.]

Or are those implanted memories, SugarFree?

OK, it’s definitely time to send Sug to the attic.

[SugarFree]

Have you ever taken the Voight-Kampff Empathy Test?

No, but I passed the Boneli Test with flying colors.

[Warty]

My mom is dead, you insensitive clod. Not cool. NOT COOL.

[SugarFree]

OK, it’s definitely time to send Sug to the attic.

Oh, no you don’t.

“There are three flowers in a vase…”

[Episiarch]

Just because what she does makes you ashamed, doesn’t mean she’s dead. She may be dead to you, but that’s it.

[jester]

Many liberals also don’t seem to get that Colbert is joking. Kinda why most liberals I know overwhelmingly prefer Jon Stewart…because there is no shtick; he is a liberal playing a liberal.

[Dagny T.]

SugarFree, would you like to go for a treatment?

[SugarFree]

SugarFree, would you like to go for a treatment?

Is that what you young folks call it nowadays? Let me ask my wife…

[Kreel Sarloo]

“I wish they hadn’t canceled Monday Night Cricket.”

You wouldn’t be joking like that in India.

Something like that could start a riot there.

[Dagny T.]

Is that what you young folks call it nowadays?

Your handler would never take advantage of you, surely.

Let me ask my wife…

Little does she know you are the most-requested active for all dance-off related missions.

[SugarFree]

Is she could figure out how to program me, the floors would be vacuumed at least 463% more often. [shudder]

[Pro Libertate]

SugarFree,

I’m sorry, but the Boneli Reflex-Arc Test has been deprecated. Please disarm and lie upon the floor until our agents can arrive to provide you with assistance.

[SugarFree]

[Edward G. Robotson]

You’ll never get me, flatfoot!

[/Edward G. Robotson]

[Pro Libertate]

[Sam Spade]The cheaper the crook, the gaudier the patter, eh?[/Sam Spade]

[bside]

I always thought this was the greatest Bea Arthur-targeted joke:

What’s the difference between Bea Arthur and and old shoe?

You could eat an old shoe if you had to.

[Medic001]

Bad health care, poor living conditions, misinformation, superstition (people will often go to a ‘church’ to be healed by ‘god’ before seeking real care) Crowded living conditions. Poor food and water source.

There are countless causes for a large outbreak. However, while any FLU shouldn’t be ignored, this IS NOT a big deal for the world.

Remember the Plague was stopped by people washing their hands.

My advice is the same when dealing with the ‘swine’flu or any other communicable disease.

Wash your hands, get rest, drink plenty of water and eat right.

Don’t Flick and pick.

But then again, if the News papers and Media didn’t cause such a storm…how else would they sell their papers and get higher ratings?

Because you know there isn’t anything else more important going on in the world.

Like the hundreds that are dying every month in the Middle East.

Or the thousands starving in Dafur, or the riots in Thailand….

-Medic001

[T]

Remember the Plague was stopped by people washing their hands.

Or everyone susceptible dying, one of the two.

[bubba]

I think liberals can’t comprehend that conservatives have a sense of humor.

Some of the funniest parts of Colbert are when you know he’s trying to come up with the most outrageously right wing claptrap and instead he winds up saying something I actually agree with.

To me, that’s the funny thing. It demonstrates that liberals can’t tell the difference between conservative political economic theory and human-alligator hybrids.

I don’t think that reflects poorly on the theory.