Reason Morning Links

- Tim Noah lists the most egregious "beat-sweeteners," the flattering puff pieces journalists have written to win favor and access from the powerful Obama administration officials they'll be covering.

- Obama to push immigration reform.

- Somali pirates abscond with captain of U.S. cargo ship after hijacking, then losing control of his vessel.

- Record labels successfully push online retailers to drive up prices of MP3s.

- U.S. citizens getting caught up in illegal immigration sweeps.

- New Cato study touts the success of Portugal's drug decriminalization program.

Comments

[Kyle Jordan]

So does brown have the same value as basmati? How about arborio? I need to have my rice values down so I canz haz the new musics.

[Kyle Jordan]

Luckily, a lot of the stuff I buy off of iTunes is obscure so it looks like I'll be saving money.

Woohoo! Hooray for shitty new music!

[Naga Sadow]

Pirates? Again? Why hasn't the US Navy started pummeling these guys yet? Everyone I know in the Navy is gung-ho about kicking the shit out of someone, anyone! I have this awesome "McHale's Navy" episode running through my head right now. A Somali pirate takes his eyes off the ship he is attempting to hijack and picks up an RPG. Looks up to see a 16 inch cannon pointed at him from just a foot away. Awesome!

[Nick]

Since no one else will post it, today's Brickbat:

Massachusetts lawmakers are considering a bill that would amend its child porography laws to also include people over 60 and the disabled, even if they are mentally competent. The bill would ban people from making or distributing "with lascivious intent" any films or videos showing the elderly or disabled nude.

I never thought it would happen, but they found a nanny-state law I can get on board with.

[Nick]

Naga, the FSM protects pirates. Duh.

But seriously, my guess as to why no one has kicked any Somali Pirate ass over these hijackings is because they always return the passengers and vessels unharmed, and they always have someone's crew hostage at any given time, so going after one group may jeopardize the other group's hostages. There's not much incentive in taking the chance of getting someone killed because of aggressive action by any country's Navy when payoffs are getting people home safely, every single time.

[raivo pommer-www.google.ee]

raivo pommer-www.google.ee
[e-mail]

DIE DEUTSCHE BANK

Die Deutsche Bank greift nach dem Verlustjahr 2008 bei ihrer Fondstochter DWS durch. Das Geldhaus tauscht vier Aufsichtsr?te aus und streicht im deutschen Fondsgesch?ft Dutzende Stellen. Zwei der neuen Aufseher seien Risikoexperten, sagte ein Sprecher der gr??ten deutschen Fondsgesellschaft.

Den Vorsitz ?bernimmt k?nftig der Deutsche-Bank-Risikovorstand Hugo B?nziger. Er l?st Kevin Parker ab, der im erweiterten Vorstand operativ f?r die gesamte Verm?gensverwaltung der Deutschen Bank zust?ndig bleibt. Diese Sparte - zu der die DWS wesentlich beitr?gt - hat im vergangenen Jahr eine halbe Milliarde Euro Verlust gemacht.

Auch die Fondspalette der DWS steht auf dem Pr?fstand. Die Deutsche Bank hat 2008 - vornehmlich bei der DWS - bereits 25 in Deutschland zugelassene Fonds geschlossen und 18 weitere zusammengelegt. Seit Jahresbeginn kamen sechs Schlie?ungen dazu. Einem Bericht der Financial Times Deutschland zufolge verwalten derzeit 76 Fonds der Deutsche-Bank-T?chter weniger als 100 Millionen Euro. Diese Marke gilt als Untergrenze f?r die Rentabilit?t eines Fonds.

[John C. Randolph]

Sending people to sea without the means to defend themselves is criminally irresponsible. Why in the hell aren't the sailor's unions demanding armed guards on the ships? This is a basic safety issue.

-jcr

[Naga Sadow]

Nick,

I object sir! I own stock in numerous porn companies. Geriatric and handicapp is a segment of porn that is underserved and therefore immensely profitable! I demand a bailout!

[SugarFree]

Why aren't ships going into the area armed? A mini-gun would turn a zodiac full of pirates into beef stew in about 5 seconds.

Cue dumbass coming by to call Somalia a libertarian paradise in 3... 2... 1...

[Kyle Jordan]

"Massachusetts lawmakers are considering a bill that would amend its child porography laws to also include people over 60 and the disabled, even if they are mentally competent. The bill would ban people from making or distributing "with lascivious intent" any films or videos showing the elderly or disabled nude."

As we all know, cripples and old people sure don't need to be fuckin' lest we risk them spreading their filthy genes!

I used to be classified as disabled. I have severe asthma combined with lungs that just never properly formed when I was being made. And now these Massholes are out to ruin any possible porn career I might have?

Massholes...

[High Every Body]

Tim Noah lists the most egregious "beat-sweeteners," the flattering puff pieces journalists have written to win favor and access from the powerful Obama administration officials they'll be covering.

Would that be the very same thing being called "Capatilist media" mentioned a few threads down?

Rep. Laura Richardson (D-Calif.) told MSNBC that Americans misunderstand Cuba, likely suffering from false consciousness provoked by sinister reports in the capitalist media. "The things I had heard of Fidel, it's almost like you would think he is horrible, he's angry, he would hate America," she said. "But everything I saw and witnessed was completely the opposite to (sic) that."

[Naga Sadow]

Nick,

Bah! (waves hand dismissively)

Forgotten the Barbary Wars have we? Damn the consequences and lets get on with the retalitory nukes on Somali?

"Mr. President, it is not only possible, it is essential. That is the whole idea of this machine, you know. Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy... the FEAR to attack. And so, because of the automated and irrevocable decision-making process which rules out human meddling, the Doomsday machine is terrifying and simple to understand... and completely credible and convincing. "

[SugarFree]

By the way...

Bad economy helps cut CO2 emissions

Wreck the economy to stop global warming! The greens have been fully vindicated!

[dbcooper]

Is Massachusetts the lamest coastal yankee state in america?

Lumping that consensual stuff in with child pornography must be motivated by a really vicious and sadistic desire to fuck someone over.

[High Every Body]

Why aren't ships going into the area armed? A mini-gun would turn a zodiac full of pirates into beef stew in about 5 seconds.

Beat me to the Snowcrash ref. Mini-gun, Phalanx, close enough.

Cheers to you.

[Naga Sadow]

SugarFree,

A Phalanx gatling cannon? Or a real mini-gun like Jesse had in "Predator"? Both are expensive. Plus didn't you see idiocracy? When you have guns . . . you just gotta shoot something.

[John C. Randolph]

dbcooper,

Maybe Massachusetts is trying to keep someone from releasing a Teddy Kennedy sex tape. How old is that drunken rat bastard now? Got to be over the age limit in that bill.

-jcr

[Dumbass]

So all you libertards think anarchy is so great. Why don't you all move to Somalia? I hear they don't have taxes there.

[High Every Body]

Naga,

Is your universe always 2 min behind? j/k

[Pro Libertate]

Didn't the crew retake the ship? What kind of pirates are these? Maybe violence isn't the answer when unarmed crew can overcome armed pirates.

Years ago, I went out on an 80' yacht for a bachelor party. I spent some time on the bridge with the captain and mate, who were drunker than I was. Anyway, they told me that when they made runs to various Caribbean islands, they carried automatic weapons. They had even exchanged fire once with some drug runners.

[Naga Sadow]

HEB,

I exist in a space-time limbo called Mississippi. I'm actually about 40 years ahead of most residents of the state. I suspect God has exiled me here in fear of what he hath created.

[Ninja Nick]

(Naga in severe anguish)

Never saw it coming, did ya bitch?!

[SugarFree]

Both are expensive.

Surely they are cheaper than the ransom they are paying. If they are too pansy to actually kill, then hole them below the water line.

[High Every Body]

Maybe violence isn't the answer when unarmed crew can overcome armed pirates.

Is there such a thing as raging pacificism? I think I am quoting it.

[David (not that one)]

According to some shmo on morning radio today, arming these civilian ships would increase their liability insurance costs tremendously. Since the pirates apparently don't like to actually harm people, the shipping companies prefer to just negotiate with them, give them the 1 or 2 million ransom they want, and be done with it.

[High Every Body]

Naga,

Better take care of that Ninja Nick before he gets your new cyberchick. This must be the longest duel ever.

[Nick]

Did anyone actually report that the crew was unarmed? I doubt they were, even if it was reported as so. From what I've heard on the radio when family has spoken about the captured captain and the crew he led, they knew full well the risks they took piloting in those waters. To be unarmed would be foolish.

[High Every Body]

Since the pirates apparently don't like to actually harm people, the shipping companies prefer to just negotiate with them, give them the 1 or 2 million ransom they want, and be done with it.

So these pirates are from the Duke family of Hazard County?

[Grillmaster Nick]

HEB, the other day I offered a truce, a beer, and some steaks. If he wants to dance, we'll dance.

[Pro Libertate]

High Every Body,

You're right, I misspoke. Allow me to rephrase: Maybe [death, mayhem, cannonades, cruise missiles, and the nuclear option aren't] the answer when unarmed crew can overcome armed pirates.

Nick,

The point of my anecdote above was that I doubt any crew would be totally unarmed in hostile waters. Though not adequately armed is likely, or they wouldn't have been taken in the first place.

[High Every Body]

HEB, the other day I offered a truce, a beer, and some steaks. If he wants to dance, we'll dance.

Oh yea, you offered everybody the Pirate's beer! So we are still on topic here.

[Naga Sadow]

SugarFree, you clown! Hole their ship with a Phalanx? Assuming that errant rounds don't completely dismember the crew, they would be gobbled up by sharks. I much prefer my "McHale's Navy" scenario.

"Hey Happy, ain't that the guy who sank the Love Boat?"

Don't make me post another quote from that awful movie!

[SugarFree]

the shipping companies prefer to just negotiate with them, give them the 1 or 2 million ransom they want, and be done with it.

So they are basically treating it as a toll? At least you have to give props to the pirates for not sugarcoating it, they come with real guns to collect taxes rather than just the threat of guns.

[Nick]

U.S. citizens getting caught up in illegal immigration sweeps.

Papers, please.

[Naga Sadow]

That damn Nick is like the T-1000. He just keeps coming back for an ass kicking.

[SugarFree]

Assuming that errant rounds don't completely dismember the crew, they would be gobbled up by sharks.

I have my pirate violin around here somewhere.

But the "hole their ship" was another Snow Crash reference. Ultima ratio regum.

[Naga Sadow]

Pro Lib,

Barbary Wars bro. If there was ever a good fight, it would be against pirates that can be overwhelmed by unarmed civilians.

[P Brooks]

Maybe the Presidential Suit should stop in Lisbon and talk to some sane people.

[Tony]

Cue dumbass coming by to call Somalia a libertarian paradise in 3... 2... 1...

My ears are burning!

[Nick]

Oh yea, you offered everybody the Pirate's beer! So we are still on topic here.

Damn straight. As a Pastafarian convert, I'm torn between the drinkin' and whorin' of Piracy and the stealth and kickassery of Ninjas. I wasn't a very good Catholic either.

[SugarFree]

OMG! I just sent in a Hit & Run tip, and the mail bounced back saying Jacob is out of the office until Monday! Woo! Party!

This board can become the psychotic free-for-all I've always envisioned! They should call it Hobbes & Run for the duration!

[Naga Sadow]

Nick=Papist agent.

I'm on to you!

*glares at Nick*

[Tony]

And FYI, I have nothing against pirates! *wink*

[Naga Sadow]

SugarFree,

Leviathan! I invoke Leviathan!

"Laughter is nothing else but sudden glory arising from some sudden conception of some eminency in ourselves, by comparison with the infirmity of others, or with our own formerly"

[robc]

The increase in piracy does explain the recent decreases in temperature.

[Pro Libertate]

Maybe they weren't pirates at all. Maybe they were just busty pirate statues. That would explain how the crew managed to overcome the pirates. Even armed statues are no match for determined, mobile opponents.

[Papist Ninja Pirate Gri]

Naga, do you know why you haven't heard from Suki today?

She can't talk right now. Mouth is full.

[Kyle Jordan]

"OMG! I just sent in a Hit & Run tip, and the mail bounced back saying Jacob is out of the office until Monday! Woo! Party!"

Is Sullum like the Diakaioh of Hit & Run?

Of all the wars we get involved in, how come we never fight the ones that will do us some good?

Nothing good has ever come out of Somalia. Nothing good is ever likely to.

Just nuke it. Now.

[SugarFree]

Is Sullum like the Diakaioh of Hit & Run?

He prefers God-Emperor. He didn't cover himself in sand trout for nothing, after all.

[SpongePaul]

The reason the pirtes have a disdain for hurting the captives/crew is because they are not stupid. If they go shooting loting and killing everything they come across, then the brunt of the navies of the world would be down there to halt them, destroy them, and kill/capture themk. by being relativly non-violent hijackers, keeping death toll at near zero and returning ships after "ransom" is paid. they are more of an annoyance to the worlds navys. if they start shooting up ships they know they will have a battleship and fighter jets after them.

[High Every Body]

She can't talk right now. Mouth is full.

Naga, don't let him psyche you like that. She is probably at work drinking some sort of super energy drink.

[Pro Libertate]

SpongePaul,

But they are violating piracy etiquette. They're supposed to work out a tribute arrangement then leave the tribute-paying nation's ships alone.

[Citizen Nothing]

Threadjack, 'cause I just can't help myself:

The Blue Jackets are in the playoffs! Our long civic nightmare is over!!!

We will now return to our regularly scheduled thread.

[Nick]

Naga, don't let him psyche you like that. She is probably at work drinking some sort of super energy drink.

HEB, I've never heard it called a super energy drink, but that kind of makes sense.

[P Brooks]

This board can become the psychotic free-for-all I've always envisioned!

"BECOME"?

[High Every Body]

Nick,

Now you are just being mean to Naga's super hottie. Jealous or something? She does not even notice me 🙁

[SugarFree]

"Because I'm Albanian, I can do whatever the fuck I want!"

Fucking weird assault story.

[High Every Body]

Can't be that weird. It is not a Feministing link.

[SugarFree]

"BECOME"?

I'd like to see some of the politeness go away. We dance around subjects too much. Nobody really cuts loose and let's people know how they really feel.

[Ninja Nick]

HEB, she doesn't notice me either, you know, cuz of the ninja thing. I'm stealthy.

Then, boom. In her eye!

(evil chuckle)

[Nick]

Yo, fuck SugarFree.

[High Every Body]

NN,

Yuck! I hate guys in my Asian hottie Ninja pr0n. GET OUT!

[SugarFree]

Fine.

Sex Toy Recycling program

[SugarFree]

Yo, fuck SugarFree.

What-evah. You're just jealous because Suki and I email each other off-board.

[Jack]

We cannot allow BO to get through immigration "reform".

Legalizing illegals would be the beginning of Liberal Fascism and the end of America as we know it through massive demographic change.

[High Every Body]

What-evah. You're just jealous because Suki and I email each other off-board.

Okay, you have told some whoppers here before so I will just view that as a continuation.

[PantsFan]

I've been away on vacation. Who's the german guy in almost every thread?

[Ninja Nick]

HEB, you won't see me either. Stealthy.

Picture a hot Asian chick moaning and groaning and writhing somewhere near that line between pleasure and pain.

And then spooge on her face.

If you want her to bring a friend, be my guest. It's your fantasy, perv.

[Pro Libertate]

SugarFree,

It's all my fault. I'm too civil.

Let the free-for-all commence!

[High Every Body]

PantsFan,

Who's the german guy in almost every thread?

Some of call him "The German guy on every thread". You did not miss as much as you thought 😉

[dbcooper]

Fine.

Sex Toy Recycling program

[feministing]Sounds like a win-win to me", sugarfree![/feministing]

Jezebel gets all huffy about the new Seth Rogan movie.

http://jezebel.com/5204177/is-date-rape-funny-seth-rogen-explains-it-all-for-you

[High Every Body]

NN,

Perv? You are the bukake freak. I am the all girl action art lover.

[SugarFree]

You believe whatever gets you through the night, HEB. Suki will gladly confirm. And she was the one that contacted me.

[Kyle Jordan]

"I'd like to see some of the politeness go away. We dance around subjects too much. Nobody really cuts loose and let's people know how they really feel."

Hey goddamnit I try! It's not my fault that I probably come across as a bordeline lunatic most of the time as opposed to just off the chain. I can't help but be who I am.

And that rant I unleashed yesterday in the Obama bowing thread was 100% real to how I felt. I can't stand royaly and it makes me far beyond enraged to see the President bow to any king.

Beyond all that shit though, who's this Suki chick? Can I get a pic or a link here?

[Nick]

SF, get out of HEB's Asian fantasy. You're ruining it! If you must be there at least shake up some champagne and start spraying it on her, but stay off camera.

Fucking amatuers.

[High Every Body]

You believe whatever gets you through the night, HEB. Suki will gladly confirm. And she was the one that contacted me.

Sigh, seems I will always be the bridesmade, never the freely contracted equal partner in all things heart, mind, personal and real property. WITH ANYBODY!

[goes to new window to finish online information security awareness course pouting]

[BakedPenguin]

PantsFan - he's Estonian, if his email addy is correct. them and Hungarians usually speak German, because no one but a native is going to learn Hungarian or Estonian.

Also, he's a douchebag spammer who hasn't quite grokked that only about 1% of this board speaks German.

[High Every Body]

Also, he's a douchebag spammer who hasn't quite grokked that only about 1% of this board speaks German.

Doesn't The Google have German translation now?

[Nick]

HEB, you gotta expand your horizons. Take your all girl art shit and let some fluids fly at them from off camera. Life is short, ya gotta grow as a person, or what the hell are we fighting for?

Branch out. Make one of those chicks Hispanic or something.

[BakedPenguin]

High Every Body - yes, and good is it, too when used with proper attribution.

[Pro Libertate]

Are you kidding? I love the Deutscher poster.

[High Every Body]

Nick,

Jeebuz man! You think I am new to this? Of course I like the Hispanic and Mediteranian chicks as much as the Asians. All of those lovely skintone variations, the long black hair, dark eyes. Mmmmmmm.

However, I prefer the ladies to provide the fluids. I tried checking that milk pr0n from an old thread but it just didn't do anything for me.

Now scram!

[BakedPenguin]

Pro Lib - well, you can actually read what he's writing. To me, it's a pointless block of text. I could stick it in Google's translator, but then I'd wind up with a paragraph of crap like what I wrote for HEB.

[SugarFree]

Beyond all that shit though, who's this Suki chick? Can I get a pic or a link here?

She's a sweet girl that we'll soon run off by us constantly being the pervy guys we always are.

[Pro Libertate]

Do I speak German?

[High Every Body]

BP,

Thank you. I love it when you give me gifts of crap.

[red]

Victim Disarmament At Sea
http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig9/moreno2.html

it's from awhile back... but things have not changed much in somalia

[High Every Body]

She's a sweet girl that we'll soon run off by us constantly being the pervy guys we always are.

Her website is actually sort of too hot for me in that understated way. Perhaps a tiny part of that is my imagination?

[albanian]

I can do whatever I want!

Who wants to get smacked around a bit?

[SugarFree]

dbcooper,

Someone was actually funny for once and they disemvoweled him.

mharker
6:49 PM on Wed Apr 8 2009

Keep in mind that Seth Rogen co-wrote Superbad, where Michael Cera's character refuses to have sex with a girl he really likes because she's drunk. He may not have written that particular scene, but it's still an integral scene.

Bob Ross
8:22 PM on Wed Apr 8 2009
@mhrkr: mstrbtd t tht scn

[Kyle Jordan]

"She's a sweet girl that we'll soon run off by us constantly being the pervy guys we always are."

Ah. A theme that occurs often in my life. I tell them it's not my fault I think facials, rough anal, and female submissiveness is so hot but they never listen.

Oh well, there's always Donna Troy to fall back on.

[Naga Sadow]

What the fuck?!!?!? I leave for an hour and . . . I'm just blown away by the bromance between HEB and Nick fighting over my LBFM Suki.

[Fluffy]

Is the "arming merchant ships" issue really solely related to liability?

A ship with a gun mounted on it, or carrying armed personnel, is no longer a merchant ship - right?

Aren't these ships all kept disarmed as a matter of international trade policy?

If it floats, has a gun on it, and is full of armed men, would we really let it float into New York harbor - even if the skipper said, "No, really, we're just a cargo ship!"

[BakedPenguin]

PL - I thought you spoke German, hence your deep understanding of Technovikings and such. Shows what I know.

HEB - You should see Christmas / Winter Solstice at the Penguin household. It's a treat.

[dbcooper]

dbcooper,

Someone was actually funny for once and they disemvoweled him.

There really is a shrill scold element on those gawker sites.

[Fluffy]

Yeah, I just went to that Jezebel link. When the hell did that site turn into Feministing?

Here's a news flash for people: since the time of the cult of Dionysius and probably before that, large numbers of people of both sexes have deliberately sought out opportunities to get shit-smashed drunk and fuck irresponsibly. This is a deliberate lifestyle choice for a very large number of people who crave catharsis and/or the deliberate abandonment of standard mores.

These peoples' lives are not automatically delegitimized because some college fresh-women get date raped.

Why can't we admit that the reason drinking and fucking go together is because people LIKE drinking and fucking?

"It's not informed consent!" I've had sex when blind drunk many times, and let me tell you motherfuckers - I sure as hell consented. I have never consented more for anything in my life.

[robc]

is the "rice of mp3s" sort of like ricing your car?

[SugarFree]

Fluffy,

Some of the feministing date rape threads go further. The basic sentiment is that if the woman is too drunk to legally drive, then she cannot consent to sex. And, of course the self-serving corollary, no man can be drunk enough to not be held responsible for whatever his role is.

OK, boys. Who has had sex with a woman too drunk to drive yet perfectly capable of consenting to sex? Congratulations, you are now rapists.

[High Every Body]

What the fuck?!!?!? I leave for an hour and . . . I'm just blown away by the bromance between HEB and Nick fighting over my LBFM Suki.

Hey! I am not fighting over her, he is fighting YOU over her! I am just jealous that YOU get attention from her, not me. Well, apparently SugarFree does too. Crap, am I the only one she ignores here?

Guess I will just have to aim my affections at FrBunny, even though the only attention I get from her is wrath 🙁

[Naga Sadow]

SugarFree,

Your logic is Teh AWESome!!! I'm gonna tell my girlfriend when I call her later!

[randy]

isn't 1 beer legally too much to drive in many states?

I think I must be a serial rapist then... in fact I've never in my life had consented sex!

[High Every Body]

OK, boys. Who has had sex with a woman too drunk to drive yet perfectly capable of consenting to sex? Congratulations, you are now rapists.

I actually turned one down once, but bagged her the next morning when I could tell she was not drunk AND crazy.

[Naga Sadow]

HEB,

I'm not sure what I did to deserve Suki's attention but I must deserve it somehow. Anyways, wrath in women is awesome. Some of my best ex's were batshit insane. They're the ones you want attention from regardless of your preconcieved notions that a woman must be polite and . . . dare I say it . . . consenting to your advances.

[High Every Body]

regardless of your preconcieved notions that a woman must be polite

BAHAHAHAH! I know women in reality. What is this politeness you speak of? You must have known a lot of fiction chicks.

[black pearl]

sooo... what happens when gay pirates sleep with anorexic drunk girls?

[dbcooper]

"It's not informed consent!" I've had sex when blind drunk many times, and let me tell you motherfuckers - I sure as hell consented. I have never consented more for anything in my life.

Fluffy, this is EXACTLY my sentiment. I've gotten black out drunk, gone home with a cute girl, come-to on top of her and literally shouted "fuck yeah" and fist-pumped.

[Naga Sadow]

HEB,

Clearly you are not wise in the ways of the Dark Side my friend.

[Naga Sadow]

God dammit, dbcooper!!! I'm in the fucking schools library surrounded by roughly a hundred and fifty people. Do you have any idea what it feels like to be laughing so hard that a hundred and fifty people are staring at you like you're an idiot!!! Plus I knocked my drink over and that fucking douchebag librarian dude and student aide are looking at me wondering why I have a drink in a library next to a PC. Fucker!

[P Brooks]

if the woman is too drunk to legally drive, then she cannot consent to sex.

This is because women are a delicate, inferior species, and consequently are incapable of acting in their own interest, or on their own behalf; we must protect them from themselves.

Right?

[High Every Body]

This is because women are a delicate, inferior species, and consequently are incapable of acting in their own interest, or on their own behalf; we must protect them from themselves.

Right?

Was that a lame attempt at thread winning?

[dbcooper]

I do what I can for the student body, Naga.

Actually, the best part of that was walking her to the train station in the morning and her pointing out that I'd told her every story and joke already. "Yeah, you were telling everybody a lot of stories last night. You were also fucking shit faced." 🙂

[P Brooks]

"lame attempt"?

Nineteenth-century style paternalism, cloaked in twentieth-century feminist jargon, amuses me.

[Naga Sadow]

dbcooper,

Indeed. My version of that story is waking up with the girls father staring at me as he tried to get her up for work.

[Naga Sadow]

P Brooks,

Be still my dog of war. I understand your pain. We've all lost someone we love. But we do it my way! We do it my way. Fear is our ally. The gasoline will be ours. Then you shall have your revenge

[dbcooper]

Having that scene with the brother is hard enough, dealing with the father must be ah, challenging to say the least.

[Nick]

Naga and HEB, I'm not fighting for her and never have been. You can totally have her. I'm done.

FYI: She likes it when you pull her hair...but then, I think they all do. The feminists who say they don't are liars. Everyone loves Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

For the interested readers who wonder how this all started, I called Suki crazy because she voted for Obama. Then someone coaxed Naga into challenging me to a duel to defend her honor. My Ninja skills took care of Naga in short order, and then my Pirate skills (drinkin' and whorin') took over when Suki was not available. Whether she consented is a matter of opinion. Ooooh, how ya like me now?!

[Guy Montag]

High Every Body!

[Nick]

Damnit.

not should read: now. Whose law is that?

[Kyle Jordan]

"Fluffy, this is EXACTLY my sentiment. I've gotten black out drunk, gone home with a cute girl, come-to on top of her and literally shouted "fuck yeah" and fist-pumped."

This needs to be in a movie because it's fucking awesome!

[Naga Sadow]

Nick,

No one cares.

Guy,

HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT!!! Bro, where ya been? At a secret underground location learning to weld from hot female welders under the supervision of Dick Cheney?

[Unka Sam]

Fuck pirates. We need to be more concerned about zombies.

Metairie man says stranger chewed, swallowed after taking bite out of his arm

[Pro Libertate]

BP,

The TechnoViking is not German.

[domoarrigato]

Sex Toy Recycling program on feministing

sure, sounds convenient, but can you reverse charge the rail freight?

[Nick]

Naga, no one's gonna care if you don't play the part. Come on, get indignant and start calling everyone names with lots of adjectives. Comedy is a two way street, brother.

Eh, you're probably right. Only HEB cared and he doesn't count.

Speaking of doesn't count, a buddy of mine in college says his girlfriend (who was religious and played that game all religious girls play because they want to go to Heaven) said they could have intercourse as long as he didn't cum. She could have a dozen orgasms and that was OK, but he was not allowed to. It's amazing how people rationalize things, especially when eternal salvation is at stake.

[domoarrigato]

Beneath the automobile strays dwarf porn. Naga Sadow pieces this neighborhood. The ashamed shutdown decays. Naga Sadow messes with an interview. Naga Sadow degenerates across the obstruction. Naga Sadow arms dwarf porn below the faithful highway.

[Suki]

You boys need to settle down. The servers can only replicate so many of me at a time you know!

And hello HEB! Thank you for the nice thoughts and encouragement.

Yes, I do exchange e-mail with SugarFree.

[domoarrigato]

sorry, wrong thread - believe it or not, that made sense on the other thread...

[Suki]

Naga,

And I still don't like Nick or his strange tantra friends so have at it!

[Naga Sadow]

Suki, my Libertarian Asian goddess, you must excuse Nick. I feel I should warn him to leave his basement in search of women and booze before he dies a virgin but I suspect it will be no use. Anyways, we can still only be friends. I'm sorry it must be this way.

[Art-P.O.G.]

sorry, wrong thread - believe it or not, that made sense on the other thread...

WOW BOB WOW

[Nick]

I feel I should warn him to leave his basement in search of women and booze before he dies a virgin but I suspect it will be no use.

There ya go, that's more like it!

[jtuf]

Let's tripple immigration quotas accross the board.

[jtuf]

Scientific American reported on the drug decriminalization in Portugal. Most of the bloggers there favored legalization. I think support for legalization has become mainstream.

[Taylor]

"Lumping that consensual stuff in with child pornography must be motivated by a really vicious and sadistic desire to fuck someone over."

What I want to know is how did the Massachusetts lawmakers know films or videos showing the elderly or disabled nude even existed? Did they stumble across some at a yard sale or something?

PS I hope this ban doesn't include Moms Teaching Teens.

http://www.momsteachingteens.com

[Rabbi Shlomo Levi]

"Maybe Massachusetts is trying to keep someone from releasing a Teddy Kennedy sex tape."

And may G-d help them to succeed.

[TT Boy]

"Nothing good has ever come out of Somalia. Nothing good is ever likely to."

There are many fine Somalis in my city.

[Menstrual Retardation]

"them and Hungarians usually speak German.

Unlike the Austrians, who speak Austrian.

[Menstrual Retardation]

"These peoples' lives are not automatically delegitimized because some college fresh-women get date raped."

A lot of college date rape claims are bullshit. I was reading a study a few weeks back and a girl, fully admitting that the guy didn't have sex with her, still claimed she was date raped because...if he hadn't have been passed out drunk, he would have fucked her. She wanted to press charges. I kid you not

[Fluffy]

To merge a couple of the thread elements, wouldn't the Massachusetts ban on porn involving the "disabled" end up banning "drunk girl" porn too? Since alcoholism is a disability.

And what about nymphomaniac porn? Isn't nymphomania a recognized mental illness and thus a disability?

Yikes, just thinking about the mental illness element gets a little scary. Any nude image of Angelina Jolie would end up being covered by the statue, because that bitch is crazy.

[SugarFree]

Fluffy,

I can see a Feminist/Religionist alliance pushing that all the way to claiming that wanted to be filmed while having sex is a mental illness.

Although they already want to ban drunk/sleeping/drugged porn on the basis that it is rape porn.

And, of course, they already think everyone's favorite "two drunks at a party start fucking" videos are evidence of rape. Because of the impossibility of drunk consent.

[libertydyke]

"Suki has never "been with" a man, but is attracted to them. She had a history of seducing women she has been around (with every one of them thinking they were seducing Suki) and is no longer a "virgin" but has not gone past kissing with men. She is not a lesbian, or really bisexual, she has a strange pathology where she is saving herself for a future husband but was not beyond the pleasures of women in the past. Her preference and wish is to be with one man for the rest of time and her fantasies of being with a man have been intensifying."

Executive Summary: I'm a self-hating dyke in total denial.

[Pro Libertate]

Suki sounds like Aiko, the gynoid with erotic sensors plugged into strategic parts of her body. Her inventor claims that she's a virgin, too. No, really!

[SugarFree]

Suki's site raised my eyebrows as well, but that is a character bible for a work that her friend is writing, not an actual biography of Suki herself.

[Cabeza De Vaca]

Leave the girl alone already. Some of you guys are total pricks.

[SpongePaul]

WE HAVE TO PROTECT THE CRIPPLES AND THE ELDERLY FROM WHACKING OFF! ITS FOR THIER OWN GOOD. i DONT THINK THAT ELDER OR CRIPPLE PORN IS FUN, BUT I BET SOME OLDER PEOPLE AND SOME CRIPPLED PEOPLE LIKE IT JUST FINE.

[MaterialMonkee]

"New Cato study touts the success of Portugal's drug decriminalization program."

For a first hand perspective

The cocaine here is top notch
Straight from Guinea
Yellow nice 🙂
The MDMA powder rocks to the extend that I've never actually seen a pill
The hash is dreadful soap bar
unless you get stuff called "Bellota" which is alright
a bit like squidgy black
The weed is shitty Nigerian banana weed, 50% seeds and stalks
does the job
meh

The ironic thing about the decriminalization is that smugglin is still illegal
I was in a pretty well know bar here we're the owner sells the stuff and people are liberally smoking
The bizzies pull up outside and walk in
I kind of panic a bit
My mate grins even more than he usually does and pours a whiskey and the bizzies hand over a very large bag of grass

So I think that not only is possession decriminalized but distribution is semi-nationalized in a strange sort of way

free the drugs anyway!

ah Holidays fuck yeah

[Citizen Nothing]

I've always just assumed that "Suki" was actually a dude. Hope I'm wrong...

[High Every Body]

Guy Montag | April 9, 2009, 11:41am | #

High Every Body!

Hi back to you too firestarter dude!

[High Every Body]

Was that a hello from The Suki? Yumm!

Suki, you are quite welcome.

SF, sorry for thinking this was another of your tall tales, or tails, or whatever.

[Suki]

HEB,

Yes, that was a hi to you.

CN,

It is still a safe bet on the internet to assume somebody is male. In my case it is incorrect. So go with your hopes, not with the odds 😉

CDV,

Thank you! You are a sweetie 🙂

libertydyke,

SF is correct that you are quoting a character description, not a bio about me. The character description is a little incorrect on the web now because the author changed her a in the book. But why must you be so ugly about it?

Are you going to say the same about me because I have been with both men and women and the person I fell in love with is my beloved boyfriend instead of some girlfriend of the past?

[MaterialMonkee]

"Nothing good has ever come out of Somalia"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iman_(model)

[MaterialMonkee]

Just to be an absolute cunt!
(which is one of my favourite hobbies)

Suki is a well unfortunate name

as in "me love you long time 5 dollar" "your name your name"

I actually was gifted with one of the worst possible names in that respect

in the vernacular of the region I emerged from my name is phonetically exactly the same as
"look at my penis"

There was like a day in school when everyone else figured that out
which wasnt fun

I got home to my parents and was like
why did you call me that

and thy both burst out laughing

and thank fuck I'm not a teenager anymore!

[Suki]

MM,

You are the only person I have heard that from, about the character name anyway. I knew a Japanese girl by that name and nobody said that to her either.

Of course, that rude crap you posted is said to me on occasion and brilliant people like you drop their jaws when they hear my southern accent.

Perhaps if you give reading a try you might not sound so 'enlightened'?

[Naga Sadow]

Suki,

You have a southern accent? Awesome.

[Suki]

NS,

Yup! And the book character does too. Not very thick usually. She and her friends exclaim "awesome" on frequent occasion too, like you do.

[Suki]

I knew something did not look right. Am I an official regular when I stop using "Preview" and start posting sloppy?

Of course, that rude crap you posted is said to me on occasion and brilliant people like you drop their jaws when they hear my southern accent.

Was meant to be a lil' more like this.

Of course, that rude "love you long time" crap you posted is said to me on occasion just for being Asian and brilliant people like you drop their jaws when they hear my southern accent.