Right Said Ted


Aha! We hacks were played: The rumor was that Ted Kennedy was so ill that he wouldn't make Denver. And here he is. The comments from the reason gallery are basically unprintable, except for Mike Flynn, who keeps jabbering about what an "unforced error" this is.

Kennedy can turn on the waterworks (in the audience) simply by breathing now. Every reference to "hope" and "health care" comes with a glimmer of "he's going to die of cancer like next month."

"He's almost Monty Pythonesque," says Flynn.

Kennedy closes with some dehydrated Shrumisms ("The dream lives on!") and gets played off by Orleans and "Still the One"–written by a Democratic congressman!

They should bring Carter onstage and refuse to shake hands, for old time's sake.