Crime

That's Why You Have to Put Chips in Their Heads

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In the Hartford Advocate, Hit & Run regular Jennifer Abel dissects a law proposed by Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal that would make anyone convicted of a crime against a child subject to "continued supervision, either in person or through remote monitoring, of the person's ingoing and outgoing e-mail and other Internet-based communication"; examination of "the person's history of [W]eb sites visited"; and "periodic unannounced inspections of the contents of the person's computer or any other device with Internet access." Abel notes that such supervision is easily accomplished but also easily evaded:

What's this guy going to do if he wants to go online without police oversight? For starters, he can go to a public library. Or an Internet café. With a few hundred in cash, he can even buy a cheap, untraceable laptop and bring it to a coffeehouse or restaurant with open wireless Internet access, or drive through town looking for a wireless hot spot. (Depending on where he lives, he could access several of his neighbors' unsecured wireless connections from his own apartment. And so long as he doesn't download movies or other data-heavy files, chances are his neighbors will never know he's there.)

Yes, it'll be easy for him to get online without supervision. And once he's there, he can open an unlimited number of free and anonymous Web e-mail accounts like Hotmail or Yahoo, and register to join chat forums where kids hang out. The law won't prevent him from contacting your kids; at most, it will make such contact slightly more inconvenient.

The Blumenthal-backed bill also would require that ISPs provide Connecticut subscribers with parental control options. As Abel notes, the courts may view this mandate as unconstitutional interference with interstate commerce. In any case, the need for it is debatable:

We couldn't find a comprehensive list of every single ISP selling Web access somewhere in Connecticut, but a quick poll of our officemates yielded 13 companies, mostly familiar names like Comcast, AT&T, Optimum and Juno. All 13 offer parental controls as part of their packages. By contrast, we couldn't find a single ISP without this option.

Last month I noted a study that debunks the stereotypical view of Internet-related sex crimes, which overwhelmingly involve teenagers who knowingly and voluntarily meet adults for sex, as opposed to prepubescent children tricked and coerced by molesters.

[Thanks to NoStar for the tip.]

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  1. Jacob-

    Why so slow in recognizing the obviously stellar brilliance of Jennifer?

    (just fulfilling my obligatory Jennifer worship quota for the day…back to your regularly scheduled H&R)

  2. who cares about her brilliance and writing? how hot is she? 😛

  3. I saw the title to this and thought another poster had stumbled on to Ron’s trans-humanist quiz.

    Blumenthal is a shithead. He’s very Spitzer-like, though not quite so venal. Man, I wish he would get caught with some whores.

  4. Given the current trend on my locale, all this effort would far more profitably be used monitoring school personnel. They’re the ones doing perp walks on the 10 PM Eyewitness News.

    The only Internet action we hear about is undercover stings.

    And WTG Jennifer!

  5. How hot is Jennifer???

    With georgeous curly red hair, a body to die for, and a face that radiates intelligence and beauty; Jennifer is off the Kelvin scale.

  6. I’m actually surprised that there are so many “sex offenders” released with more and more states jumping on the detain indefinitely “for treatment” bandwagon. Of course there is no treatment, nor any attempt at it, it’s just an excuse to lock them up for life.

  7. How hot is Jennifer???

    With georgeous curly red hair, a body to die for, and a face that radiates intelligence and beauty; Jennifer is off the Kelvin scale.

    True, but if you have a penis, you are forbidden from speaking of it.

  8. NoStar:

    she left the Kelvin scale from which end?

  9. innominate one,

    If Jennifer was one degree hotter, the universe would come apart in the mother of all explosions.

    NS

  10. If Jennefer was any hotter, I would have moved back east and would be looking at a restraining order to keep away from her.

    NS

  11. Wow, Jennifer’s the new Howley, apparently…

  12. Ooo! Ooo! Let me do one!

    If Jennifer was any hotter, she’d be featured in Al Gore’s PowerPoint presentations.

  13. Jesus, NoStar, I have the feeling that Jennifer will one day have an Advocate article about the guy she shot as he was crawling into her bedroom. “NoStar” will strangely not post on that thread, or ever again.

  14. Jake,
    Good point. It has only been since Jennifer’s birth that man-made global warming became an issue.
    NS

  15. Epesiarch,
    I remain 3000 miles away from Jennifer and am content to admire her from afar.
    NS

  16. She’ll feel differently about this once she has Kerry Howley’s children.

  17. She’ll feel differently about this once she has Kerry Howley’s children.

    3…2…1…

    and DAR for the win!

  18. Shouldn’t we let the market decide who wins this thread?

  19. Why should the market always get to have all the fun?

  20. What are you, fyodor, some kind of socialist?

    Besides, in non-market transactions people do creepy stuff like drag balls over broken glass to obtain what they want. When the market decides this, people just shell out cash.

  21. as no one has ever seen the invisible hand of the market, I do not believe in it

  22. Awwww. You guys are all so sweet. And, while I hate to fish for compliments or anything … could somebody maybe wax poetic a little about my “porcelain complexion” or variants thereof? Ordinarily I wouldn’t ask, but today I’ve got this stupid protozit threatening to erupt on my forehead and it’s making me feel very depressed and insecure.

  23. With alabaster skin and deep blue piercing eyes
    Jennifer is able to get compliments from guys

    (feel free to add to the poem)

  24. Problem solved! Thanks, NoStar.

    P.S. The protozit on my forehead is still a lot less irritating than the legislative piousness of Connecticut’s Attorney General. See how I segued back to the original topic there?

  25. P.S. The protozit on my forehead is still a lot less irritating than the legislative piousness of Connecticut’s Attorney General. See how I segued back to the original topic there?

    According to the dictionary of Jennifer, that translates roughly to “Don’t stop now, keep going!” ;>

  26. Jennifer Abel
    Keeps boys in her stable
    Her skin is like milk
    and her temper flammable

  27. Jennifer’s so hot, I’d even have rough monkey-sex with the protozit on her forehead…

    *crickets*

  28. During the postwar economic boom Australia was importing people in droves. Paid passage and a bunch of other incentives were available.

    The White Australia Policy ensured that the immigrants were of European (with preference to Northern European and even British) stock.

    The lifting of the WAP in the 70s lead to immigration limits, I suspect to keep the old Laborites who had fought tooth and nail to keep the policy happy.

    Ironically although it was the Liberal-Country coalition that chipped away at the WAP through the fifties and sixties against labor opposition it was the new breed of Labor pols that took over control of the party in the seventies that ended it for once and for all.

  29. Thanks Taktix?,
    I no longer have to worry about being perceived as the creepiest of the Jennifer adulators on this board.
    NS

  30. Jennifer Abel
    makes the boys quite ubstable
    She’s never a minger
    and if you call her a ginger
    she’ll beat you to death with a ladle.

    Ok. I’m finished for now.

  31. “unstable”
    damn.

  32. Y’know, guys, I do still read this comment board occasionally…

  33. Gee Jeff,

    We didn’t see any wedding ring on Jennifer’s finger.

    the guys

  34. He’s probably asleep now. Good. I was having fun. Carry on!

    I seriously think our AG’s alarm clock wakes him up each morning by screeching “THINKOFTHECHILDREN THINKOFTHECHILDREN THINKOFTHECHILDREN” instead of “BEEP BEEP BEEP.” Not that there’s anything necessarily wrong with thinking of the children; it’s just you need to put the emphasis on the word “think.”

  35. I seriously think our AG’s alarm clock wakes him up each morning by screeching “THINKOFTHECHILDREN THINKOFTHECHILDREN THINKOFTHECHILDREN” instead of “BEEP BEEP BEEP.”

    Reposted for emphasis: Man, I wish he would get caught with some whores.

  36. As do I. I’ve already got the story written in my head; all that remains is for reality to catch up.

  37. As do I. I’ve already got the story written in my head; all that remains is for reality to catch up.

    “THINKOFTHECHILDREN” coupled with “Caught with some whores”. That could go a couple directions, but none of them good.

    I preferred the discussions of Jennifer’s attributes. If we loosely interpret “the children” as duplicate attibutes then “think of the children” takes on a whole new…um, on second thought, never mind.

  38. Anyone who wakes up thinking about the children is most likely a pervert who needs to be have his internet access monitored.

  39. Can’t we just save taxpayers a whole lotta money, and just rub them down with ribeye steaks and have them torn to pieces by a pack of wild dogs?

    Seriously though.

  40. That’s a terrible waste of a ribeye Gilmore.

    Will someone please think of the steaks?

  41. touche

    perhaps we could create a new market for “Steak au Perve”

    (groan from the audience)

    I need to learn how to type an ‘accent accut’ one of these days

    Maybe instead of dogs, we could bury them alive in a pit or something. There has to be some kind of environmentally friendly way of disposing of child molesters

  42. the innominate one | March 24, 2008, 1:52pm | #

    as no one has ever seen the invisible hand of the market, I do not believe in it

    Well… when I was 5… an invisible hand touched me on my front bottom… and now I have seizures and pee myself whenever Adam Smith is mentioned.

  43. Well… when I was 5… an invisible hand touched me on my front bottom… and now I have seizures and pee myself whenever Adam Smith is mentioned.

    Poor baby. If only Connecticut’s Attorney General had been there to protect you. If only.

  44. If Jennifer was any hotter or if her fair skin were any more flawless … well, if want to experience hotter porcelain, you’ll have to visit the restroom at a Mexican restaurant.

    Hmm, that wasn’t very inspirational, or zippy either.

  45. GAH! ” … if YOU want to experience … ”

    I’ll be taking a short break.

  46. One of my favorite Mr Show sketches ever

    Ghttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DeikFMnHwU

    “This is the home of Larry Kleist, rapist. But you wouldn’t know it if wasn’t for the friendly reminders Larry is required by law to provide.”

  47. GAH! ” … if YOU want to experience … ”

    I’ll be taking a short break.

    That was freaking hilarious.

  48. Impressive!
    Jennifer is mentioned and the whole Grylliade comes out of hiding for a tryst at The H&R.

  49. Impressive!
    Jennifer is mentioned and the whole Grylliade comes out of hiding for a tryst at The H&R.

    Should have just stopped there.

  50. Impressive!
    Jennifer is.

    Read that way, it should.

  51. Read that way, it should.

    Thanks, I missed the strikout by one word.

  52. as no one has ever seen the invisible hand of the market, I do not believe in it

    An invisible hand is the devil’s playground.

  53. Hot-looking babes are a dime a dozen these days – it’s the invisible hand of the market. Hot-looking dames with brains to boot? not so common.

  54. An invisible hand is the devil’s playground.

    If I had an invisible hand……

  55. If a convicted criminal is still dangerous, keep him in jail. If he is safe enough to release from jail, then let him rejoin society as a free citizen.

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