Canada

John Walters' Drug Message: Buy Canadian

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A few weeks ago, when U.S. drug czar John P. Walters warned that Canadian drug traffickers were flooding our country with methamphetamine-laced "Extreme Ecstasy," it came as news to drug warriors in Canada. Paul Nadeau, head of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police's national drug branch, recently told the Canadian Press he did not understand why Walters would say such a thing:

"I shook my head when I read the release that they put out," said Nadeau, adding he's never heard of extreme ecstasy.

"That term is unknown to us, certainly in Canada, and I can tell you that I've spoken to law enforcement people in the U.S. and they've never heard of it either so it would appear that it's a term that somebody came up with in a boardroom in Washington, D.C."…

Nadeau said there's nothing new about ecstasy—the so-called love drug that gained popularity during the 1990s rave scene—being laced with methamphetamine or other stimulants and that it's been happening for the last decade.

"According to our stats the presence of methamphetamines in ecstasy is dropping," he said, adding tests by the RCMP indicate that currently, about 35 per cent of ecstasy pills contain meth, down from 75 per cent several years ago.

"Why now do they feel the need to announce this to the world?" Nadeau said of the Office of National Drug Control Policy.

I don't know. Maybe to justify their budget by keeping the public in a constant state of alarm about drugs? Walters' press release made it sound as if putting meth in MDMA tablets was a new, growing, scary yet exciting phenomenon linked specifically to Canada:

Alarmingly, more than 55 percent of the Ecstasy samples seized in the United States last year contained methamphetamine. Cutting their product with less-expensive methamphetamine boosts profits for Canadian Ecstasy producers, likely increases the addictive potential of their product, and effectively gives a dangerous "face lift" to a designer drug that had fallen out of fashion with young American drug users.

Confusingly, Walters claimed Ecstasy dealers were ripping off their customers by substituting a cheaper drug for MDMA yet also somehow providing extra value by fortifying the pills with meth. As I noted at the time, the ONDCP's warnings about "Extreme Ecstasy" could be mistaken for advertising, which is often the case with government's anti-drug propaganda. "If I was a meth dealer in Canada," a former ONDCP economist tells the Canadian Press, "I would certainly rebrand mine to 'extreme ecstasy.' " Likewise, I'm sure Canadian pot growers were grateful for Walters' warnings about their "crack of marijuana."

[Thanks to Caleb O. Brown for the tip.]

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  1. Maple-sucking puck-slapping drug pushers.

  2. They use the word “extreme” to market it? What is this, 1997?

  3. It’s the Mountain Dew of Ecstasy! Snap into a Slim Jim!

  4. Maybe they got the idea from this:

    Cracklin’ Oat Flakes.

    Cereal Lover…..Will Ferrell
    Wife…..Ana Gasteyer
    Boss…..Chris Parnell

    [ open on sunny morning ]

    [ show Cereal Lover showering, getting dressed, starting his day ]

    Jingle: “Waking up, starting fresh.
    Feeling your best is the only way.”

    Cereal Lover: [ enters kitchen ] Good morning, dear.

    Wife: Good morning.

    Cereal Lover: Honey? We’re all out of Cracklin’ Oat Flakes.

    Wife: How about new Cracklin’ Oat Flakes? Now with Ecstasy.

    Cereal Lover: Oo-ooh! [ pours bowl, eat, begins to trip out to rave music ]

    Rave Jingle: “Can you feel my love?
    It’s inside you.
    Take me home, I’m your synthetic lover
    And your mind will be ravin’.
    I also contain 16 essential vitamins and riboflavin.”

    Announcer: Cracklin’ Oat Flakes. Pounding at your heart with the fist of God.

    Voiceover: Warning: Cracklin’ Oat Flakes may cause damage to your spinal fluid.

  5. Maple-sucking puck-slapping drug pushers.

    Don’t want to be a Canadian idiot

    Dont want to be some beer swillin’ hockey nut

    and do I look like some frost-bitten hosehead?

    I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed

  6. Thanks warty.

    That skit is funny on another level because drug warriors probably think those kinds of products would actually come about if legalization took place.

  7. Likewise, if you were an American dealer, wouldn’t you relabel your X as well?

    I’m thinking the book Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them needs a 2.0 with John Walters on the cover.

  8. John Walters is the biggest drug czar douche ever. And that’s saying something. There’s nothing more depressing that confronting the reality that there’s just no end of bullshit the drug warriors can dish out, that the MSM and American public won’t lick off the spoon.

  9. John Walters is the biggest drug czar douche ever. And that’s saying something. There’s nothing more depressing that confronting the reality that there’s just no end of bullshit the drug warriors can dish out, that the MSM and American public won’t lick off the spoon.

    I don’t know, I think FDR’s drug czar takes the cake. He said “The reefer makes darkies and spics think they’re as good as white men”.

  10. I can’t really imagine anyone being addicted to ecstasy. It just seems like the downsides would outweigh the up sides way before chemical dependency was an issue. Purely non-chemical addiction I could see, but the meth would only hurt that.

  11. Alarmingly, more than 55 percent of the Ecstasy samples seized in the United States last year contained methamphetamine. Cutting their product with less-expensive methamphetamine boosts profits for Canadian Ecstasy producers, likely increases the addictive potential of their product, and effectively gives a dangerous “face lift” to a designer drug that had fallen out of fashion with young American drug users.

    What I find amusing is that this is the same exact rhetoric used by “the Truth” and related orgs in their anti-tobacco campaigns.

    Also, since when is a Republican against profits?

  12. Also, since when is a Republican against profits?

    When it comes from “immoral” activities.

    Also, by keeping marijuana illegal the drug companies get to protect their profits by designing new drugs to treat symptoms that marijuana could.

  13. Walters pulling a page from the old Sheila Broflovski playbook.

  14. If it’s anything like “Extreme Chipotle Doritos”, consider me excited!

  15. Since when did John Waters become such a douche? I mean Pink Flamingos. You’d have to be high to…

    What?

    Walters?

    Never mind.

  16. Hilarious. I was taking “Extreme Ecstasy” in ’98. Check out my post on the experience.

  17. Well, the fact it first came out in the late ’90s explains the “extreme” name.

  18. What do we expect from Canada, whose most potent contribution to world culture is Dudley Doright? I mean, right there that should be a dead givaway as to what they’re capable of. I mean, he rides around on a white horse named “Horse”! They might as well have called him “Smack”.

    On a serious note, however, I must say I’m disappointed with this thread. I might just have to cancel my subscription. I pay good money for undermining Ron Paul. As a cosmotarian conspiracist, I’m upset that this thread isn’t stabbing libertarianism in the back by selling out America to commies, the religious right, the neocons, and the islamofascists. Focus, people! We’ve got betraying to do.

  19. Well, we made it 19 posts before mentioning Ron Paul. Now that’s progress.

  20. Technically only 18 posts. The nineteenth was the one to put us over the cliff.

  21. Well, the fact it first came out in the late ’90s explains the “extreme” name.

    So you’re saying it’s the Poochy of Ecstasy?

  22. The reason for this emphasis on Canada in the WOD context is to reinforce the drive for spending more on Customs and border security, which is an ongoing priority for the current admin, and not controversial for most D’s either (they see it as a jobs program). It’s another aspect of the largely bogus link between the WOT and the WOD, like the commercials that claimed buying drugs in the US is supporting terrorism. Mr. Walters goes to Congress and says the dope is pouring in through Canada, another reason to spend more $$ trying to seal the border.

  23. Sorry, I was just snipin’ at the ridiculousness of the threads around here recently. I didn’t mean to kill this thread. Please, back to the mocking of drug warriors and Canada.

    To get things going:

    Mike: And then the drunk guy says, “I can’t help being an idiot; I’m Canadian.”
    Crow: Hahahaha. You’re right! They’re so pathetic, Mike!
    Mike: Right, exactly.
    Servo: Enough! There’s been too much Canada-bashing for far too long. I say no more.
    Mike: Don’t you mean, “No more, eh?”
    Crow: Good one, man! They are so stupid!
    Servo: Stop it now! Instead, let us offer our northern brothers and sisters this song of tribute. Oh, I wish I was back in old Canada, a land which I never shall lampoon. How I pine for the ice covering Lake Manitoba and the beauty that is Saskatoon.
    Mike: Oh, I got one. Oh, I wish I was stuck in the hills of Alberta drinkin beer with some big, dumb guy trapping fur.
    Servo: Hey!
    Mike: As he scraped and he chisled all the moose dung off his boot, I would learn that he’s the prime minister.
    Servo: Oh, stop that.
    Crow: Oh, I wish I was in the land that gave us Peter Jennings, Alanis Morrissette, Mike Myers too…
    Servo: Ah!
    Crow: No, I take that back, I wouldn’t go there even if you paid me! Oh, Canada, you are a place I must eskew.
    Servo: Now this is not in the spirit that I intended.
    Mike: Oh, come on. Give in. I mean, they gave us Ed the Sock… and Rush.
    Crow: Yeah, what are you defending? They’re such feebs!
    Servo: Okay, I’ll try.
    Mike: Alright, good man!
    Servo: Oh, I wish I was blowing up Prince Edward Island, then going on to bomb Ontario. Hehe. The destruction of Canada and all of its culture is by far my favorite scenario.
    Mike: Okay, I think that’s a little strong. You can back down…
    Servo: Oh no, you were right, Mike. This is much more fun! Just where the hell does Canada get off sharing a border with countries far superior to it?
    Crow: Yikes!
    Servo: Why, you lousy, stinkin’, Francophonic, bacon-lovin’ bastards, your country’s just a giant piece of sh…
    Crow: Woah, woah, woah, woah! Geez!
    Mike: Okay, I think that’s enough! I think we’ve punched it. Cambot, okay. Thanks. Alright.
    Servo: Sorry.
    Crow: Wow.
    Servo: I have no sense of proportion. I’m a disgrace to my uniform.
    Mike: I know. That’s, that’s okay. Now calm down now. Mustn’t hate, mustn’t hate…
    Crow: At least so overtly.
    Mike: Exactly, right. Must disguise our hate. Just a little, okay? We’ll be right back. Shh, shh. It’s okay now, Dudley. Calm down, calm down.
    Servo: Pardon ? mois! Pardon ? mois!

  24. Some one needs to buy John Walters a pair of work boots and a shovel so he can start doing something useful with his life. So far he is just
    a waste of a former human sperm cell.

  25. The chemical makeup of MDMA is
    3,4 methylenedioxymethamphetamine, which is why it has those initials. I’m not a chemist, but can the meth tests differentiate between them?

    Ecstasy without MDMA is just a cheap knockoff anyway. Since it takes MA to make MDMA, just save yourself some time and sell it as is under any name. There is no Truth in Advertising that pertains to street drugs.

  26. “A few weeks ago, when U.S. drug czar John P. Walters warned that Canadian drug traffickers were flooding our country with methamphetamine-laced “Extreme Ecstasy,” it came as news to drug warriors in Canada. “

    Johnny Pee is worried about his present job and future lobby…,er I mean future job prospects in the drug testing industry.

    The prohibitionistas are worried that this rich man’s hobby, that is the war on some drugs, is being driven to a tit that doesn’t dispense so much government largesse. The GAO’s report on the success of ol’ Johnny Pee’s war against pot smokers was less than the complimentary “good job Brownie” they were used to.

    Johnny Pee has the GAO, the drug law reform movement, the citizens and Presidential candidates from both main parties all asking questions that would not have been even contemplated 20 or so years ago and it’s about time. His little Potemkin empire is being exposed as the fraud that it is. He had to create some kind of crisis, even if it is an out and out lie.

    /Can’t wait for MD 20/20 to be fortified with X!:) Feel the love.

  27. I think I tasted some cinnamon too.

  28. “Cutting their product with less-expensive methamphetamine boosts profits for Canadian Ecstasy producers, likely increases the addictive potential of their product, and effectively gives a dangerous “face lift” to a designer drug that had fallen out of fashion with young American drug users.”

    When I hear “designer”, “face lift” and “fashion” in the same paragraph, I think of Nina Van Horne from “Just Shoot Me”.

    /Mommy, the X don’t taste like it used to.

    /That’s ’cause it’s meth free X Mikey.


  29. /Mommy, the X don’t taste like it used to.

    /That’s ’cause it’s meth free X Mikey.

  30. Let’s try that again.

    /Mommy, the X don’t taste like it used to.

    /That’s ’cause it’s meth free X Mikey.

    Is that anything like when they took all the dolphin out of the tunafish? Just hasn’t tasted the same ever since.

  31. lunchstealer;

    exactly 🙂

  32. “That term is unknown to us, certainly in Canada,…

    It’s probably like Canadian bacon, noone’s heard of that up there either.

    There is “peameal bacon” which apparently some Canucks are now claiming is “The Real Canadian bacon.”

    I myself like our ersatz products misnamed for foreign countries. Excuse me while I go have some Canadian bacon on an English muffin. With some French fries.

  33. Don’t forget, Canadian drugs could be coming from a “Third world”…Christ! What they will do in the U.S. to preserve profits for the pharmaceutical industry.

  34. I love both Dudley Doright AND Red Green. What does that make me besides old?

    Anyway, I just wanted to put in a plug for what a wonderful world it would be if pharmacists were advisors only, rather than administrators of government threats of violence.
    We’d be so much healthier and happier.
    Imagine a pharmacist recommending a cocktail for you that would be oh so much more personal, effective and expeditious than the one recommended by your empty-headed bartender with the hooters.
    …..Ruthless

  35. So far he is just a waste of a former human sperm cell.

    “Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.”

  36. This is some phrase that was coined in a boardroom in Washington DC for the purposes of more fear mongering. There has been no change to the methamphetamine content or any other substance contained in ectasy pills recently that would warrant calling it “extreme ectasy” all of the sudden. As the article pointed out, the percentage of all pills with methamphetamine content in Canada has actually decreased in recent years. This is more reliable than any stats coming from the U.S. because U.S. law prohibits testing of drugs. Ecstasy is in far more greater abundance in Canada and testing probably far more extensive as a result. Because there is a greater sample size, I would trust their statistic over any cited from the U.S. Also look at the number of ectasy deaths in Ontario for example. Tens of thousands of pills are consumed every weekend – what do you think all those people are doing out in Toronto at 4 am when you drive around? And how many deaths per year? 1 or 2? Education is the best prevention for this drug, not criminalizing it.
    Furthermore, for any ecstasy pills that do contain methamphetamine, you will see that the vast majority of them only contain small amounts – 5-20 mg of methamphetamine. This is the equivalent of a few cups of coffee. The purpose of this is that pure MDMA is too relaxing for some and a very small amount of meth in them gives a small boost of energy over a long period of time with a similar intensity as an energy drink.
    So enough of all this hogwash coming from Walters. They obviously know nothing about ecstasy. The U.S. has serious social problems that need to be dealt with- other dangerous drugs such as the heroin on the streets of Baltimore, rising crime and gangs, rising costs of education and healthcare. Go to most American cities, then go to Toronto, Montreal, or Quebec City (which boasts a zero murder rate for 2007). There needs to be serious attention given to a lot of issues in the U.S.- especially in our cities- and ecstasy is not one of them.

  37. The U.S. currently has marijuana listed as Schedule 1 drug, meaning that in their eyes, it’s more dangerous and less medically useful than methamphetamine.

    That alone should serve as an insult to the inteeligence of anyone with an I.Q. above that of a common table lamp.

    In what other job could you produce no results for thirty-five years, get paid billions per year, and get a raise every year? Stumped? Just ask John Walters, or anyone else fighting the so-called “war on drugs.”

    Fear-mongering 101 – “Create an enemy with a scary face and keep changing it every so often so there’s always something to worry about.”

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