We Can Be Heroes, Just For One AAAAUGH!

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Harpers ditches that undercover third world thug-seeking-a-lobbyist stuff and gives us something important: A rundown of gay superheroes and their fates. Unsurprisingly, most are dead.

EL EXTRANO, "THE STRANGE ONE": attacked by an AIDS vampire

FAUNA: dead

FREEDOM RING: finger sliced off; impaled on twenty-eight spikes, including one through the groin and anus

JERICHO: impaled on his father's sword

It's a bit of a rig job: We are told Midnighter's heart was ripped out, which is true, but not reminded that he has two hearts and continues to fight global perfidy to this day. But the list is by Perry Moore, author of Hyperion, and he has both an interesting crusade and a gloomy view of previous gay heroes.

Brian Doherty on the persistance of the superhero here.

NEXT: Your Place: The Final Frontier

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  1. I suspect Harper’s is implying that superhero comics are teh homophobia and must be destroyed.

    What they don’t realize is that in today’s mainstream comics, pretty much everyone has a resume like these.

  2. an AIDS vampire? seriously?

  3. Quick! Back to the Castle Aaaaaaaauuugghhh.

  4. A rundown of gay superheroes and their fates. Unsurprisingly, most are dead.

    Surely you must mean “out gay” superheros. Because as we all know, all superheros are in fact gay.

  5. What? No word on the Ambiguously Gay Duo?

    Harpers is losing its touch.

  6. They’re ambiguously dead.

  7. There are gay superheroes?

  8. There are gay superheroes?

    Superhomos, to be precise.

  9. Last time I checked, Batman and Robin were still going strong…

  10. I didn’t know Robin was gay. It certainly explains the tights, though.

  11. “Electro” is gay? See, talk about a character who was perfectly terrific without any humanizing details whatsoever.

  12. i must second the “aids vampire wtf?!?!?” question.

  13. Der Graf by the German Punk-Pop band, Die ?rzte.
    lyrics

    He once was afraid of HIV. Perhaps he caught it from a “virgin”…

  14. In Canada, we have the Mounties who, of course, always get their man.

  15. From the Tick comic books:
    Tick: “Wait a second, you invited me back to your apartment and there isn’t even a secret crime fighting lab? You’re not… funny… are you?”
    Arthur: “What do you mean… ‘funny’?”
    Tick: “You know…. funny.”
    Arthur: “What?! NO! NO! I’m not… funny.”
    Tick: “Good, because superheroes shouldn’t be… funny.”
    Arthur: “Right!”
    Tick: “Let’s go out.”
    ******Later******
    Tick: “Those were some good beers… some good MANLY beers.”

    Nephilium… SPOON!

  16. plus, you’re not sure what their name means…

    “Eh, Eddie Shore – time for mounties, eh”
    “eh, oh yes, eh. Old Tyme Hockey is on the television with them Hanson Brothers, eh”

    [keed keed, exaggerated exaggerated, distorted distorted]

  17. VM

    It refers to the horse.

    (It gets VERY LONELY in those outposts sometimes…)

  18. Quick! Back to the Castle Aaaaaaaauuugghhh.

    Ooohooohoooo!

  19. Aresen – I see. Inspiration from the town, “Regina”, for example.

    Lunch: back of the throat. aaaaaaauuuggggghhh.

  20. Q: Why are there so few gay superheroes?

    A: Because it’s easier to fit an “S” on the front of a crime-fighting uniform than it is to fit “LGBTTTIQQA” on one.

  21. back of the throat. aaaaaaauuuggggghhh.

    Uh, in this thread, I don’t think back of the throat means quite what you want it to mean.

    /me sinks to new low.

  22. The only one of these I’ve read is Rawhide Kid, and I’m not sure what the hell he’s talking about with “revealed he was only pretending to be gay.”

    Rawhide Kid has been around since the 50s, and he was never gay until a 2003 reimagining (that I highly recommend) called The Rawhide Kid: Slap Leather. In it, he is very, very gay, and the comic is loaded with innuendo. At no point does it ever reveal he is pretending; he shuns the advances of women the whole time, and by the end he’s going off to a ranch to play around with some young dumb men he met earlier in the series. To my knowledge there have been no further releases of the gay Rawhide Kid, and he definitely wasn’t gay before this series.

    I’m guessing Moore’s reading comprehension is fairly low to have missed that one. I don’t trust a single entry on the list now.

  23. I just checked up on the AIDS vampire thing. Uh, apparently it’s for real. Both the gay character, Extrano, and Jet contract AIDS from a villain called Hemo-Goblin. Extrano gets cured by magic, and Jet. . . kills herself.

    Info obtained here

  24. Swimmy,

    It was revealed later, after the Rawhide Kid: Slap Leather miniseries was over, in a Marvel Who is Who styled comic (basically a encyclopedia of characters), that Rawhide Kid was only pretending to be gay. Beats me why Marvel decided to backpedal so much, but that they did.

    And that list is crap! He forgot Danny the Street, from Doom Patrol, a crossdressing, homosexual street that magically teletransported itself carrying his happy homeless inhabitants. At the end of the series, Danny grows up into a gay planet.

  25. repeats self, with slightly pedantic tone.

    BACK OF THE THROAT…. NOW. NOW. NOW… BACK.. in the back in the back in the back. pay attention pay attention. don’t make me get EDDDDWWWWARRRRRDDDD(ild)OOOOOOO demonstrate.

    BACK OF THE THROAT.

  26. My all-time favorite gay superhero is David Weigel.

  27. Does Willow in Buffy Season 8 count? She’s in a comic book, she’s got some wicked mojo, and to quote Faith, she’s not drivin’ stick.

  28. Because as we all know, all superheros are in fact gay.

    Warren wins

  29. Comic geek reactions!

    And that list is crap! He forgot Danny the Street, from Doom Patrol, a crossdressing, homosexual street that magically teletransported itself carrying his happy homeless inhabitants.

    They weren’t homeless – Danny was their home, QED. 🙂

    No mention of the new (lesbian) Question, either, though.

    Apollo “gang-raped”? Mark Millar wrote him raped by a single villain in the first Authority story after Ellis left. Is this inaccuracy or did someone do another story along that line? (Incidentally, superhero-gets-raped stories? They suck, and they’re over-used.)

    Electro realizes he’s gay after a stint in prison? The guy’s done a lot of stints in prison.

    Does he mean the Jarvis in the Ultimates continuity (fah-laming!) or original Marvel continuity (fah…reserved and butlery)?

    Shatterstar had a sex life?

    What is the point of this de-contextualized list, anyway? All superheroes have bad things happen to them, especially lately in Marvel and DC (remember my saying rape plots were over-used?).

  30. No Watchmen references? Weak.

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