David Petraeus: Jesus or Gandhi? Or Both?

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The New York Sun has the world's greatest editorial board this side of New Light of Myanmar. No arguments. From "The Next Nobel," a call for awarding Gen. David Petraeus the Nobel Prize in Peace:

We advance the name of General Petraeus this year because he has come to personify the GI Joes and GI Janes of whom he is in command. He has breasted an extraordinary amount of obloquy on behalf of their, and our country's, cause and courage. This was put into sharp relief during his appearance last month before the Congress, where his honor and patriotism were questioned.

And after a little requisite Arafat and Carter-thumping:

General Petraeus's accomplishments are in the tradition of George C. Marshall, Lech Walesa, and Andrei Sakharov. These men did not seek peace at any price or without any cost. They took enormous personal risks. They stood on principle. They understood that true peace is earned in victory.

Marshall won in 1953 for "his apprehension, his fear of war, his feeling that another war would mean the complete collapse of human civilization." Walesa (1983) and Sakharov (1975) were unable to claim the prize in person because of the oppression in their own countries. But Petraeus was insulted by MoveOn, so it balances out.

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  1. Shame on you for forgetting the quote that Petraeus is a brown noser asshole.

  2. A. They may be a little off base on this one but the New York Sun is probably the most libertarian leaning newspaper in the New York City area.
    B. It also has some of the best columists araound.

  3. Will the General have to cross the Rubicon to accept the award?

  4. “David Petraeus: Jesus or Gandhi? Or Both?””

    what – he walks around in a sort of robe with sandals?

    And – compromise – bald with facial hair…?

  5. Why doesn’t the General speak up and tell them to stop making him into a demigod. Hes got to feel a little silly about it.

  6. Cesar,

    As General Petraeus learned from watching Ghostbusters–but as you clearly did not–when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say “YES”!

  7. “breasted an extraordinary amount of obloquy” Nothing like using a $10 word when a $.10 word would do.

  8. As General Petraeus learned from watching Ghostbusters–but as you clearly did not–when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say “YES”!

    If I were him I’d feel like I’m being used for cheap political points.

  9. Cesar,

    Sure, but once you become a god, politics don’t matter any more. Ask Jesus, who was perfectly willing to give Caesar money and stuff.

  10. If it waddles like a Westmoreland and quacks like a Westmoreland…

    Anybody see the light at the end of the tunnel yet?

  11. I wonder if General Patreus said nice words about Hillary Clinton, if the right would drop him like a hot potato?

  12. The New York Sun has the world’s greatest editorial board this side of New Light of Myanmar

    David Weigel, you were bought by those slickers with their skyful of lies!

  13. When asked about his new divinity, the Deified Petraeus said, “I am now the God of Skyful Liars. That was all that was left, I’m afraid.”

  14. Anybody see the light at the end of the tunnel yet?

    Give it six months.

  15. Petraeus has never even been in combat. He’s nothing like the GI Joes and Janes he commands.

  16. Remember, too, in the Sun editorial board’s world, Dick Cheney would currently be the Republican frontrunner.
    http://www.nysun.com/article/51783

  17. Funny stuff. Blurs the line between ‘serious’ editorial and parody.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to breast some obloquy.

  18. Cool idea.
    Can I nominate someone, too? How about Jessica Alba? She also has much in common with Marshall, Walesa, and Sakharov. I think they are the same blood type.

  19. Jessica Lynch would be a better choice than Petraeus. A typical GI Jane who also had the courage to debunk her own hero myth, and expose the U.S. media’s managed coverage of her as the sham that it was.

  20. Hey, you try breasting some obloquy. It hurts!

  21. I once knew a girl with obloque breasts. I wouldn’t have nominated her for a Nobel because of them, though.

  22. So, does he have a better chance than Rush?

  23. Guy,

    Maybe, but I don’t know, “Tom Sawyer” was a pretty fuckin’ good song!

  24. And Kofi Annan got his for successfully avoiding prosecution, and Yasser Arafat got his for promising to only kill Jews. At least Petraeus is actually reducing the death rate somewhere.

  25. I wonder if chicken breasteds taste good marinated in obloquy? Is obloquy in the Asian foods aisle or do I have to order it over the Internet?

  26. Nowadays, I tend to automatically dismiss any article which uses the term “islamofacism”.

  27. “If it waddles like a Westmoreland and quacks like a Westmoreland…

    Anybody see the light at the end of the tunnel yet?”

    You win the award for “stupidest attempt at humor while making a lame comparison or analogy”.

  28. “Nowadays, I tend to automatically dismiss any article which uses the term “islamofacism”.”

    And who says ignorance isn’t a virtue? You have become its patron saint

  29. Charlie At least Petraeus is actually reducing the death rate somewhere.

    That’s awesome news; maybe someday he’ll reduce it someday in Iraq, too?

    U.S. officials say civilian casualties in Baghdad are down by half. But they wouldn’t provide specific numbers, and statistics gathered by McClatchy Newspapers don’t support the claim.

  30. “Jessica Lynch would be a better choice than Petraeus. A typical GI Jane who also had the courage to debunk her own hero myth, and expose the U.S. media’s managed coverage of her as the sham that it was.”

    A valid comparison indeed, because as we all know, no one in the media has harshly criticized Petraeus, nor has an entire political party basically called him a lying water-carrier(remember the Bush Report nonsense? Guess not) for the president so that they may discredit him to win cheap political points in a time of war.
    I get a good laugh whenever the people on this site totally ignore the increasingly mounting evidence that the condition in Iraq is improving, yet at the same time claim they only adhere to fact when shaping their political beliefs. It rings as hollow as the “reality-based community” crap from the left.

    “When asked about his new divinity, the Deified Petraeus said, “I am now the God of Skyful Liars. That was all that was left, I’m afraid”

    I sure hope all the “comedy” on this site is not as horribly bad as the above quote.

    “Petraeus has never even been in combat. He’s nothing like the GI Joes and Janes he commands.”

    Ouch. Coming from a veritable Audie Murphy, that hurts.

  31. e

    your link at McClatchy is two months old. War is a dynamic things. Here are two of the best sources on death rates in Iraq:

    http://www.icasualties.org/oif/IraqiDeathsByYear.aspx

    http://www.iraqbodycount.org/analysis/numbers/baghdad-surge/

  32. Buck, thank you for the links; what do you take from them? Can you really make an argument that the surge and/or Petreus have lowered deaths? From the 2nd link:

    Levels of violence reached an all-time high in the last six months of 2006. Only in comparison to that could the first half of 2007 be regarded as an improvement.

    It could just as well be that the 2nd half of 2006 was the most intense period of ethnic cleansing and that deaths are down from that period only because there’s less people remaining in the “wrong” neighborhood to be cleansed.

  33. the New York Sun is probably the most libertarian leaning newspaper in the New York City area

    That’s a bit like being the highest achieving kid on the short bus.

  34. I nominate Mike Laursen threadwinner.

  35. I get a good laugh whenever the people on this site totally ignore the increasingly mounting evidence that the condition in Iraq is improving

    Things are improving so much that the State Department is thinking of firing Blackwater! Nothing to do with blasting civilians at random, it’s just that things are settling down so much, that the State Department convoys can now glide around Baghdad on a path of gilded sweets and flowers.

  36. Walesa (1983) and Sakharov (1975) were unable to claim the prize in person because of the oppression in their own countries. But Petraeus was insulted by MoveOn, so it balances out.

    No shit, Sakharov spoke out against his political leaders and was arrested. Petraeus did the bidding of his political leaders and was given an army and a big sandbox to play with it in.

  37. Libertarians are not funny,

    Humor is in the eye of the beholder, but, just to clarify, I wasn’t calling Petraeus a liar. I was making a joke about a sign posted by the Myanmar government (and posted at Hit & Run) that used the term, “skyful liars”.

    As for things in Iraq improving, I think that sort of absolute statement is foolish. Some things are improving, some aren’t. My position has always been that we can only “solve” the problem of Iraq through a long-term occupation. If we’re willing to do that, then fine. Frankly, my view is that we have no strong interest in doing so.

    Why we’re so obsessed with fixing things in the Middle East is beyond me. The oil issue is overblown–we only get something like 18% of our oil from the region. The terror threat should be responded to and even actively fought, but we don’t have to occupy Iraq to do that.

  38. Quick, over here! Behind the troops, where it’s safe! No one will see us!

  39. I get a good laugh whenever the people on this site totally ignore the increasingly mounting evidence that the condition in Iraq is improving

    Yeah, John Kerry is going to get his ASS KICKED in the 2004 elections, with all this good news coming out.

    Unless the media refuses to report the GOOD NEWS.

    Been there. Done that. About fifteen times already.

  40. The great question in deciding whether to keep fighting in Iraq is not about the morality and self-interest of supporting a struggling democracy that is also one of the most important countries in the world. The question is whether the war is winnable and whether we can help the winning of it. The answer is made much easier by the fact that three and a half years after the start of the insurgency, most of the big questions in Iraq have been resolved. Moreover, they have been resolved in ways that are mostly towards the positive end of the range of outcomes imagined at the start of the project. The country is whole. It has embraced the ballot box. It has created a fair and popular constitution. It has avoided all-out civil war. It has not been taken over by Iran. It has put an end to Kurdish and marsh Arab genocide, and anti-Shia apartheid. It has rejected mass revenge against the Sunnis. As shown in the great national votes of 2005 and the noisy celebrations of the Iraq football team’s success in July, Iraq survived the Saddam Hussein era with a sense of national unity; even the Kurds-whose reluctant commitment to autonomy rather than full independence is in no danger of changing-celebrated. Iraq’s condition has not caused a sectarian apocalypse across the region. The country has ceased to be a threat to the world or its region. The only neighbours threatened by its status today are the leaders in Damascus, Riyadh and Tehran.

  41. I just saw the article that Biff is citing from. Although one can argue with their conclusions, it’s worth noting that the situation there is complicated and not as cut and dry as domestic politics make it out to be. I forget that myself in my zeal to have done with the Middle East.

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