Crime

A Grotesque Lesson in Political Economy

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As Nigerian election season passes, the price of machetes plummets:

The price of machetes has halved in parts of Nigeria since the end of general elections in April because demand from thugs sponsored by politicians has subsided, the state-owned News Agency of Nigeria reported.

…………
"A price survey on machetes, which served as a popular weapon among political thugs in the state, indicated … a drop in the price of the implement," NAN reported over the weekend.

Machetes are primarily used as a tool for farming in Nigeria but they are also popular among political gangsters.

"Before the conduct of the general elections, I was selling a minimum of seven machetes daily but can hardly sell one a day now," said Usman Masi, a trader quoted by NAN.

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  1. Perhaps they’re just into recycling now

  2. What they clearly need is machete control. Perhaps a license to carry would be appropriate.

  3. What a great investment tip. Buy up the surplus now at wholesale prices, and sell retail in the next campaign season. A little seed money donated to the more “aggressive” candidates might also yield a nice return.

  4. What a great investment tip. Buy up the surplus now at wholesale prices, and sell retail in the next campaign season. A little seed money donated to the more “aggressive” candidates might also yield a nice return.

    You’re not thinking proactive enough. Maybe a little political assassination implicating the oposition and we can turn that ‘nice return’ into a windfall in no time

  5. Obviously, reason is now shilling for Big Machete.

  6. When will the Nigerian Congress finally have the wisdom to pass anti-gouging legislation on machetes?

    Heh…

  7. just finished reading the chicken posts. Sugar Free et al.: very funny.

    I thought of a few one-armed militia man vs chicken jokes, but the chicken-fucking post won the whole day.

    I am going to eat a couple of the delicious birds tonight. Cover them with olive oil and fresh herbs, stuff ’em with veggies and some salt pork, two hours over coals, one bottle of Oregon pinot noir…your life won’t have been lost in vain you proud dumb fucking chickens!

  8. ?Al machete!

  9. Awesome! I forecast record profits on my banana plantation this year.

  10. I thought of a few one-armed militia man vs chicken jokes, but the chicken-fucking post won the whole day.

    And you’re STILL going to have chicken for dinner?!?! Sheesh man, you don’t know what’s been in that chicken!

  11. This reminds me, I earlier, don’t remember, posted looking for a good libertarian mutual fund.
    I forget the response, they’re were a couple.
    So if your out there and know of a mutual fund based on libertarian principles, please post.
    Thanks, this time I won’t forget them.

  12. brandybuck – point well taken…does anyone know if sugar free practices safe sex with poultry?

  13. The market works.

  14. yuck, never mind…if condoms taste half as bad as they smell…well just forget it.

    thanks for ruining my dinner plans.

  15. brandybuck – you just saved two chickens from becoming blood water pistols.

    rickm and emaciated vegan girl thank you

    of course they still wish you and all your stinking humanity would hurry up and die too.

    I’m thinking dead cow tonight instead.

  16. cecil mumbled: “chicken-fucking… Cover them with olive oil… stuff ’em… one bottle of Oregon pinot noir… fucking chickens!”

    Your ideas intrigue me… newsletter…

  17. Tagore S – the hardest part is getting the little bitches to swallow enough wine to set the mood…

  18. cecil,

    Duh, you just funnel them like foie gras geese. Do I have to think of everything for you people?

    Seriously, though, I encourage everyone to brine their poultry before grilling or smoking. It’ll open your eyes to a whole new world. I’ve never had a turkey-hater yet I haven’t converted on the strength of my Thanksgiving smoked birds. (Well, except for the vegetarians, but to each his own.)

    I was kind of hoping one of the animal rights weirdos would yell at me for encourage / glamorizing chicken sex. They always show up in droves for those threads. Funny how they aren’t on this one to decry actual torture and maiming of, of know, humans. But probably a bunch of those fuckers at meat ate some point, so they get what they deserve, right?

  19. I am appalled that Reason would tolerate such crude and explicit anti-poultryism! You’re all obviously a bunch of hen hatemongers …

  20. Paul’s suggestions that the Nigerian government require a license to purchase a machete is a good first step, but it doesn’t go far enough. Big Machete needs to be held accountable (both morally and, more importantly, fiscally) for selling such a dangerous product in the first place! I propose some sort of edge lock or guard…

  21. I have to make the two easy jokes here:

    Machetes dont kill, people do.

    and the obligatory

    when the government outlaws machetes, only outlaws will have machetes.

    sorry, but I had to do it.

  22. Maybe sales will pick up again in October with harvest. Either way, the machete handshake is up close and personal politics, more effective than kissing babies.

  23. “when the government outlaws machetes, only outlaws will have machetes.”

    What a beautiful world it will be… what a glorious time to be free.

  24. Top Nigerian Story Tonight (in broken English):

    Cut in Half Price of Machetes

  25. I’ve had a few to many to drink, but when I read this thread all I can think is “I laugh so that I do not cry”…

  26. I’m sure sales will pick up once next year’s models are on the market.

  27. Meanwhile in America we send people to jail for slashing the tires of get out the vote vans, or jamming a candidate’s phone lines on election day. Our most contentious election was settled in a court ruling. And while that court ruling is still controversial and has touched off years of bitter political acrimony – no one reached for a machete.

    Happy Fourth of July.

  28. Fingers…anyone ??

  29. I am waiting for Paul Krugman to denounce this in the NY Times as an example of the failure of laissez faire economics…

  30. DEMAND KURV!

  31. I thought it quite sad that everyone weighed into this thread as an opportunity for humour… and then, how you say… LMAO.

    Particularly once i reached what i shall call Cecil 7:14.

  32. So are the legislators from machete-producing districts constantly calling for no-confidence votes?

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