Bob Casey Airbrushes Hot-Waxes Personal History

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bob casey unibrow.jpg

The crack political ops over at Santorumblog–which contrary to its name, is not a gay-sex site–have uncovered a coverup that is either the low point in recent political campaigns or one of the most pathetic and revealing airbrushings of a personal history ever committed by a politician. Or maybe it's both.

Pennsylvania Democrat Bob Casey is well ahead of incumbent Republican Sen. Rick Santorum in one of the most closely watched races this fall. Casey has just started airing a new commercial, which features recollections and a shot of young Bob as a fifth-grader teacher. The odd thing? The campaign has literally tweezed Casey's eyebrows to remove a unibrow evident in a picture that's already posted to Casey's original site (see left). The scariest thing? If the polls in the Keystone State actually start to tighten up, expect the candidates to start swapping bikini-line graphics.

More here.

Hirsute hat tip: Extreme Mortman.

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  1. Not gonna lie. I shave between my eyebrows. I really don’t see why anyone who’s developing a potential unibrown wouldn’t. You just do it while you’re shaving your beard.

  2. The sad thing is, airbrushing the unibrow was 100% the correct move, politically.

  3. There are things on his website far more worthy of airbrushing over. For example:

    “Bob Casey opposes Social Security privatization that drains away money from the Social Security system and would cut Social Security’s guaranteed benefits. The first step to protecting Social Security is to stop the assaults launched against Social Security by the privatization advocates.”

  4. When it comes to Rick Santorum, I want to snake his drain if you know what I mean.

    I’m convinced that with the combination of my God-given endowments and a technique painstakingly honed through years of practice, I could yield World Record amounts of Santorum from that l’il fellow’s man-gina.

    So, what about it, Senator Rick? If you think I’m sexy, and you want my body, come on, Senator, let me know…

  5. Unibrows are comedy gold, a cant-miss. Cant really blame the guy for wanting to hide it.

  6. Unibrows are comedy gold, a cant-miss. Cant really blame the guy for wanting to hide it.

  7. Unibrows are comedy gold, a cant-miss. Cant really blame the guy for wanting to hide it.

  8. Whoa.

    The dude in the photo has got the wierdest
    head. It’s almost the same size as his body.

    My girlfriend works for Condenast mags – you should see the instructions for airbrushing that arrive with photos of anyone – model, celebrity, movie star, stunt-dog. You name it.

    Q: Sigh….why can’t people realise that beauty is on the inside?

    A: Because ugly goes to the core.

  9. Good thing he was a 5th grade teacher with that unibrow, he probably would have been beaten up if he had been teaching in high school.

  10. People, a unibrow is more than just about looks. The unibrow goes down to the core judgment of a man. What kind of single man in his early twenties would leave a prominent unibrow in place like that? What kind of decision making capabilities does one posses when a unibrow like that is left unfettered? I say unless you are over fifty, or a puppet, a unibrow should be of utmost concern….a daily ritual of removal. Anything other than that, and you have evidence of man that can?t see a problem and fix it, even if it is literally staring at him in the face on a daily basis. He just lost my vote, and he can never get it back.

  11. That is so weak.

    How can anyone be ashamed of looking like a dumbass at school? Jesus, I had a haircut like a village simpleton. Still do really.

    What kind of single man in his early twenties would leave a prominent unibrow in place like that?

    Someone who’s to busy doing useful shit e.g spiderman.

  12. So why did they leave the unibrow in the masthead photo of Casey?

  13. But Mark, Spidey has the class to wear a mask. And it isn’t Peter Parker with the unibrow, it’s Jack Kirby’s Orion, at least when he gets agitated and ignores Mother Box’s calming influence.

    Come to think of it Unibrow would make a pretty good name for an updated Dick Tracy villain.

    A unibrowed fellow could find a barber he trusts, and get regular pluckings.

    Kevin

  14. I want to know if his ring fingers are the same length as his middle fingers. And, if so, how does he spend the nights of the full moon.

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