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If you're a David Icke fan, you'll enjoy this 48-minute documentary about the son of God and leading theorist of the 12-foot lizard view of history. If you're not an Icke fan, this may make you one.

I'm embarrassed to admit I had never heard of Icke before today, but his theory that global politics, finance and culture are being controlled by massive V-style saurians in human form seems as plausible as any other. (I say the burden of proof is on anybody who claims both Presidents Bush, Prince Philip, Kris Kristofferson, and the Queen Mum are not giant reptiles.) Even if that thesis weren't completely plausible, you'd be inspired to keep an open mind just through the combination of Icke's oily charisma and the loathsomeness of his opponents—a legion of doom that includes anti-defamation whores who use various means to shut down Icke's speaking engagements; other conspiracy theorists who fault him for taking things too far; anti-globalization doofuses who want to focus on the "real issues" of multinational corporations; and some Biotic Baking Brigade types who bellyache that Icke's supporters tried to prevent them from hitting him with a lemon meringue pie. (They only managed to take out some children's books.)

At one point the documentarian asks Icke whether his references to "lizards" are really supposed to be taken to mean "Jews." Icke replies that they are not, and the interviewer replies that that denial seems like a "metaphor" for saying lizards are Jews. It's an exchange that is even more insane because it makes a kind of sense. The movie completely fails to make the case that Icke is an anti-Semite, though there seems to be other evidence for this claim. You may end up suspecting the filmmaker Jon Ronson, who does his best to blow his antihero up into a global threat, is a stealth Icke supporter. In any event, Icke's opponents do everything in the playbook of inadvertancy to make him a sympathetic figure: Their bullying and hostility to discussion would be alarming if not for the modesty of the target. The cream of the bien pensant left on two continents has apparently met its match in a cockney who believes the world is controlled by giant, superintelligent lizards.

Thanks to reader "M," who no doubt knows a thing or two about being ostracized by respectable society, and who notes, "Issues of free speech abound, albeit from an unlikely, or perhaps not unlikely, source."

NEXT: Beautiful Soup

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  1. Uh, not the same M. A distant relative. Sheesh.

  2. You are unfair to Jon Ronson – his book “Them” has a long passage about Icke which comes to the same conclusion you did – that yes, he actually believes the cabal that controls international finance and politics is composed of lizards, and that the Anti-Defamation League is off base in persistently claiming that his complaints about lizards are actually complaints about Jews.

  3. Tom Servo: “Marc Singer walks out in a loin cloth! What do you say??”

    Mike Nelson: “Errrr… Now I know why the series was called ‘V.'”

    Speaking of Icke, ever seen him on the Alien Abduction episode of “Penn & Teller Bullshit?” I’m still trying to figure out if Icke is a schitzo or he’s a con man playing the schitzos.

    Of course, he could be both.

  4. As long as the ultimate goal of the reptilians is to help me save up to 15% or more on my car insurance, Icke’s revelations don’t particularly bother me. I, for one, welcome our new reptile overlords.

  5. David Icke does have ridiculous conspiracy theories, and it is troubling that so many take him seriously. But the so-called “anti-fascists” who oppose him come off as smug, and clearly opposed to free speech.

    Perhaps it is just Canada’s political culture, which has less tolerance than American culture.

  6. I for one am glad that someone is sufficiently un-PC to expose the Reptilofascists for the cold-blooded threat they are. If only the “scales” would fall from other eyes as well. We can’t wait til it’s too late and until all our daughters will be forced to lay eggs.

  7. Do Icke’s theories predate Douglas Adams’s similar exposition in So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish?


    ‘On [the robot’s] world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people.’

    ‘Odd,’ said Arthur, ‘I thought you said it was a democracy?’

    ‘I did,’ said Ford, ‘It is.’

    ‘So,’ said Arthur, hoping he wasn?t sounding ridiculously obtuse, ‘why don’t the people get rid of the lizards?’

    ‘It honestly doesn’t occur to them,’ said Ford. ‘They’ve all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they’ve voted in more or less approximates to the government they want.’

    ‘You mean they actually vote for the lizards?’

    ‘Oh yes,’ said Ford with a shrug, ‘of course.’

    ‘But,’ said Arthur, going for the big one again, ‘why?’

    ‘Because if they didn’t vote for a lizard,’ said Ford, ‘the wrong lizard might get in.’

  8. I’m pretty sure this guy is a serious nut, but I can’t really deny that Hillary Clinton is a reptilian/reptilian-possesed tool for the global fascist collective. I think it makes a little more sense to think of it as an emerging trend instead of a consciously enacted conspiracy.

    I’m not sure when exactly he took ayahuasca, or what influence it had on his conspiracy theories. This was the first thing I thought of when I read about them (today, for the first time) because DMT is the only drug I know of that consistently invokes hallucinations of reptilian creatures.

  9. The Reason some might think he’s talking about the Jews instead of the lizards is simple. For so long, different people have ascribed the Jews with powers of control, assembly, coordination, and secrecy that verge upon omniscience; they might as well be talking about all powerfull lizards because it makes about as much sense.

    Ickes (if he didn’t believe what he says) could be the worlds greatest satirist along the lines of Sacha Baron Cohen’s antisemitic Borat.

  10. As long as the ultimate goal of the reptilians is to help me save up to 15% or more on my car insurance, Icke’s revelations don’t particularly bother me. I, for one, welcome our new reptile overlords.

    That, phocion, was Buddy Lee good.

  11. how can i become a lizard?

  12. I think his theory explains a great deal about the last twenty years of American politics.

  13. I myself welcome our nonexistent reptilian overlords.

  14. If our reptilian overlords did not exist, we would have to invent them…

  15. If our reptilian overlords did not exist, we would have to invent them…

    Too late.

  16. its really ridiculous how much icke is maligned and persecuted, not for his wacko beliefs, but for ideologies imposed upon him. he does have a point.
    did u anyone else see that townhall meeting? if u disagreed or raised questions you had to leave. that really scared me.

  17. its really ridiculous how much icke is maligned and persecuted, not for his wacko beliefs, but for ideologies imposed upon him. he does have a point.
    did anyone else see that townhall meeting? if u disagreed or raised questions you had to leave. that really scared me.

  18. we’re mormon

  19. The Reptilians are one of approx. 40 alien races in our local group, administered by “The Council of Worlds”. We earthlings are quarantined from participation in galactic civilization, as we are still considered a violent, genocidal and therefore dangerous race. Nation states such as China, the USSR, Sudan, etc. have murdered nearly 100 million people over the last century or so. By galactic standards, we are a bunch of violent, primitive weirdos. The lizards have left genocide behind, they have their act together.

  20. Icke was, if I remember correctly, formerly a football player and later a football tv host on British television. He was also a spokesman for the British Green Party, until one day he showed up and began telling them about an experience he had with a giant alien lizard. Needless to say, the party was unenthusiastic. But yeah, he’s the real deal, not some con man.

  21. The plural of doofus is not doofuses but doofi.

  22. Wait a minute, I just remembered something. Although Earth is not officially a member of the Star League, reptilian humanoids are actually our allies in the great fight to defend the Frontier against Xur and th Ko-Dan armada.

  23. Let’s get the lizards’ Council and Xenu’s Galactic Confederacy to fight. Then they’ll all be to busy to fight with us. Of course, they might make a battlefield out of Earth, but no guts, no glory!

    Kevin

  24. “The Reason some might think he’s talking about the Jews instead of the lizards is simple. For so long, different people have ascribed the Jews with powers of control, assembly, coordination, and secrecy that verge upon omniscience; they might as well be talking about all powerfull lizards because it makes about as much sense.”

    Also because of the way they go through full-body moulting. I once saw a complete, intact, Jackie Mason skin. It was eerie.

  25. LOL, Jon H!

    ———————

    A book I want to get:

    Giant Lizards From Another Star by Ken MacLeod

  26. He understandably inspires fear in ADL and they act crazy. He appeals to his admirers because he allays their fears of the world being a remarkably random place. And the fact that he is “Everything You Know Is Wrong” certifiable, “good-idea-Chuck-but-the-eggs won’t-stop-them” crazy? Well that makes this perfect. Now you know why mankind’s history is a history of war and killing. Watch “No Man’s Land” to see another perspective on this type of crazy.

    And speaking of crazy, please please force yourself to watch “The Titicut Follies” which happened to come up on the same page as this video. It is a 1967 documentary about a mental hospital. You can see the direct impact it had on the look and feel of the movie “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”. It was ordered off the marketplace (banned is such and emotional word) by the courts for violating the privacy of the inmates. I have been searching for a bit-torrent of it for a couple years. And here is is on Google Video. I would recommend watching it now as there is ample legal due process to pull it off the site.

  27. I would recommend:

    “High Strange New Mexico”… a great, well researched documentary full of bat-shit insanity.

    http://www.ziavideo.com/data/product/highstrange.htm

  28. SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

  29. According to Political Research Associates, an American research group that tracks right-wing extremists, Icke’s ideas are popular in Canada, where the New Age aspect of his philosophy overshadows his more controversial beliefs.

    I’m with you Tim, when it comes to the likes of Boxcar Willie, Occam’s razor clearly cuts in Icke’s favor.

  30. Is this why those people at littlegreenfootballs.com call themselves ‘lizardroid minions’ ?

  31. I only see so far because I stand on the shoulders of giant lizards

  32. I’ve interviewed Jon Ronson, and while I don’t think he believes Icke, he definitely supports him in an “enemy of my enemy” sort of way.

  33. Of course the lizards have left genocide behind, aspendougy — they no more want to exterminate us than we want to exterminate cattle.

    Mmmmmmm… cattle.

  34. True story: I was once kidnapped and held hostage by Amazon lizard women. The sex was OK, but man, if I ever eat another live rat it will be too soon.

  35. “I’m not sure when exactly he took ayahuasca, or what influence it had on his conspiracy theories. This was the first thing I thought of when I read about them (today, for the first time) because DMT is the only drug I know of that consistently invokes hallucinations of reptilian creatures.”

    Define “consistent.” DMT visions include a very wide variety of beings and themes, and are not always of reptilian nature.

  36. If Alex Jones can sound sane in calling you an idiot, well…. that says enough.

  37. Wait a minute, I just remembered something. Although Earth is not officially a member of the Star League, reptilian humanoids are actually our allies in the great fight to defend the Frontier against Xur and th Ko-Dan armada.

    Stevo, I support the right of individual citizens to become starfighters and assist the Star League, but I absolutely disagree with our government declaring war on the Ko-Dan.

    Besides, do we really have any evidence, besides the word of the Star League, that a wild-eyed outcast like Xur and the ruthlessly pragmatic Ko-Dan would ever work together?

  38. “Centauri Lied! The Beta Unit Died!”

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