No-Knock Jokes

|

John Derbyshire over at National Review's The Corner blog comes up with a couple of Hudson-inspired no-knock jokes. The first one actually made me laugh–your mileage may vary.

NEXT: Why the Drug War is The Issue

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. relates to the drug war listed below. I guess there could be a reason for a no-knock warrant without the drug war, but I can’t think of one off the top of my head.

  2. My mileage varied. Thanks for the thought though.

    Here’s mine:

    Knock Knock.

    Who’s there?

    The Police.

    Oh c’mon, everyone knows the police don’t knock. Who’s really there?

    —-Ok, so that one’s not funny either.—-

  3. I liked juggler’s no knock joke better than the NRO ones, you should submit it.

  4. Police don’t knock. But every breath you take, every move you make, they’ll be watching you.

  5. Knock, Knock

    Who’s there?

    Coroner.

    Coroner who?

    Coroner who’s been brought in now that the police are done surprising you.

  6. here’s the no knock joke

    click: GET ON THE GROUND! GET ON THE GROUND! HANDS WHERE WE CAN SEE ‘EM

    AAAaaagh!

    SHUTUP! GET ON THE GROUND! HANDS BEHIND YER HEAD!

    AAAaaagh! what the… ugh.

  7. With full government surveillance this wouldn’t be a problem at all. They would just know whether or not you are breaking the law.

    I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.

  8. No knock!

    Who’s not there?

  9. The first one is just stupid. If anything, I’d be less enthusiastic about having a handgun ready on my nightstand if I knew that the thugs bursting into my home at midnight might be cops.

    Not that I have any respect for thuggish cops, but I really don’t relish being treated as a cop killa.

  10. Sorry Juggs, that WAS funny.

    Now I’m off to the beach for a drink and some jazz.

  11. Second TWC, Juggs.
    heh heh

  12. HappyJuggler, this is slightly more snappy:

    Knock knock

    Who’s there?

    Not the police.

  13. sweet haploid jesus, can you people do something about that ghastly picture of coulter on the left there? i’m about to blow chunks here.

  14. In a strange turn of events, SCOTUS overturns their previous ruling and lays out the new procedure for entering a suspect’s home:

    Woman: [not opening the door] Yes?

    Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh?

    Woman: What?

    Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Johannesburrrr?

    Woman: Who is it?

    Voice: [pause] Flowers.

    Woman: Flowers? From whom?

    Voice: [long pause] Plumber, ma’am.

    Woman: I don’t need a plumber. You’re that clever shark, aren’t you?

    Voice: [pause] Candygram.

    Woman: Candygram, my foot. Get out of here before I call the proper authorities. You’re the shark, and you know it.

    Voice: I’m only a harmless dolphin…

    Woman: A dolphin? Well…okay. [opens door]

    [ she opens the door, as the shark pulls her screaming into the hallway ]

    (courtesy: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/75/75djaws2.phtml)

  15. knock knock
    who’s there?
    “telegram”
    “land shark”
    “delivery”
    um…

  16. Crash!

    “What the”

    Flashbang!

    “heck?”

    “Woof woof.”

    “DOG!” PowPowPowPowPow! “DOG CLEARED!”

    “Hey, you shot my”

    “GET DOWN!/FREEZE!/I SAID GET DOWN!/I SAID FREEZE!” PowPowPowPowPow! “PERP CLEARED!”

    “Daddy?”

    PowPowPowPowPow! “Wait!/PERP CLEARED!”

    “There wasn’t supposed to be a kid.”

    “Uh. The warrant says West Apple St.”

    “Oops.”

  17. bleeding eyeballs, try Firefox with the AdBlock extension, and block that Coulter image permanently!

  18. – No knock.

    – Who’s there?

    – Not your dog anymore!

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.