Dead or Alive?


Is Osama bin Laden dead? An alleged Al-Qaeda Web site is saying so, according to this article in the London-based Saudi-owned Al-Sharq al-Awsat. Several of the Islamists interviewed by the paper have their doubts.

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  1. Would it even matter at this point?

  2. “Would it even matter at this point?”

    But, shecky, if Osama bin Laden dies then the terrorists will have won! Oh, wait…

  3. If he’s dead I want independent confirmation – preferably using fingerprints, DNA and dental records. Once that occurs, I’m going straight out into the street to celebrate by firing my AK-47 into the air while cheering myself hoarse.

  4. Tie his carcass to a pickup and drag it down Fifth Avenue.

  5. If we ever find his corpse I’m sure that Bush will do some sort of photo-op with it.

    And I won’t criticize him for it. I’ll be too busy celebrating.

  6. I’ll be pissed, sorta. I wanted to drag his skinny ass out to Times Square and line up every friend and family member of a victim of 9-11 for one good free punch (fire fighters families first). Then the rest of America gets their free shot in. If he’s still alive, you start all over again.

    Death’s too good for that fucker.

  7. Great news if it’s true. Think of all the paperwork it saves. If he didn’t die in combat, does that mean no Virginians for him in Valhalla? Or something like that.

    Personally I’m hoping it was an overdose injection that did him in. Of lead, cranially, at high velocity, of course.

  8. Unfortunately, given the extremely high bullshit-to-reality ratios typically found on those sorts of websites, I doubt that the mofo has been zapped yet.

    Given Al-Qaeda’s extreme decentralization and “franchise” mode of operation, it probably doesn’t matter too much to them whether the Head Dirtbag is alive or dead, but it would sure as hell brighten my day. I’d love to see that SOB’s carcass strung up like a side of beef in some Kabul bazaar.

  9. Jay Leno suggested that we clone Bin Laden so we can kill him more than once.

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