Secret Sauce? Loose Cannon? Metaphorical Spice?


Is it just me or is Teresa Heinz Kerry potentially the most interesting element in the upcoming–well, I guess it's already upon us–presidential campaign season? (Yes, that's mostly a slam on the so-far lackluster electoral season.)

A recent Newsweek cover story asked whether she was a "loose cannon" and figured her as "secret sauce" and the "spice John Kerry needs"–thereby underscoring the deadly metaphor drought currently being experienced by the major newsweeklies.

Readers of this site will know that I'm no fan generally of political consorts–indeed, I gave two cheers for "the invisible Dr. Mrs. Dean"–but you've got to go where the action is. And it seems like Heinz Kerry, with her vaguely Eva Gabor-like accent and what Newsweek dubbed "zippy quotes" is that place. That she's Portugese-Mozambiquan-South African-whatever only adds to the mix, as do her milions of millions of dollars and her willingness to execute children's pets. From Newsweek:

Of her five houses, though, she is most at home on her farm outside Pittsburgh, where she feeds the chickens to relax?and has beheaded a few old roosters in her time, too. "My mom broke my heart when she turned my pet rooster, who was long in the tooth, into broth," says another son, Chris Heinz. "I thought that was pretty earthy of her."

Did she force the kid to eat the soup, though?

Heinz Kerry's official campaign bio page is here, along with a host of news stories about her. I was left wondering, why should we care how many languages (five) she speaks? But for the Kerry camp, anything that draws attention away from Kerry himself is probably a good idea at this stage of the game.