Secret Sauce? Loose Cannon? Metaphorical Spice?
Is it just me or is Teresa Heinz Kerry potentially the most interesting element in the upcoming--well, I guess it's already upon us--presidential campaign season? (Yes, that's mostly a slam on the so-far lackluster electoral season.)
A recent Newsweek cover story asked whether she was a "loose cannon" and figured her as "secret sauce" and the "spice John Kerry needs"--thereby underscoring the deadly metaphor drought currently being experienced by the major newsweeklies.
Readers of this site will know that I'm no fan generally of political consorts--indeed, I gave two cheers for "the invisible Dr. Mrs. Dean"--but you've got to go where the action is. And it seems like Heinz Kerry, with her vaguely Eva Gabor-like accent and what Newsweek dubbed "zippy quotes" is that place. That she's Portugese-Mozambiquan-South African-whatever only adds to the mix, as do her milions of millions of dollars and her willingness to execute children's pets. From Newsweek:
Of her five houses, though, she is most at home on her farm outside Pittsburgh, where she feeds the chickens to relax?and has beheaded a few old roosters in her time, too. "My mom broke my heart when she turned my pet rooster, who was long in the tooth, into broth," says another son, Chris Heinz. "I thought that was pretty earthy of her."
Did she force the kid to eat the soup, though?
Heinz Kerry's official campaign bio page is here, along with a host of news stories about her. I was left wondering, why should we care how many languages (five) she speaks? But for the Kerry camp, anything that draws attention away from Kerry himself is probably a good idea at this stage of the game.
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Have Bushisms gotten that old? Oh well, when the debates eventually crank up (if they do), we should get at least a few funny soundbites from both, and some may become legendary a la Goresque.
She was also registered as a republican.
Let's see. She's a daughter of colonialism, she's super rich, she's "foreign" and from far away foreign lands, she speaks 5 languages (including French), she's "earthy" and "speaks her mind."
While that might cause Dems on either coast to cream their jeans, I highly doubt whether she would play in St. Louis, not to mention Peoria. (Some dirt here)
Add in the fact that she and JFK dis Wal*Mart while she owns at least $1 million of their stock.
And, the Heinz Foundation's funding of far left groups.
And, Ken "Kenny Boy" Lay served on her foundation's board up until JFK starting bashing Enron.
Then there's the tabloidesque and unproved Alex Polier/African connection.
In 2000 I thought it was impossible for the major parties to foist upon us a pair of candidates worse than Bush and Gore; I really thought that the nation was scapping the bottom of the barrel. Sadly, I have been proven wrong.
Yeah, right. The Kerry's have Walmart stock (so does my mom and she bitches about them all the time, too) and the Bush's are in Saudi Arabia's pocket.
I'm amazed at the apologists painting Kerry as flip flopping or hypocritical when we have just witnessed the most corrupt, hypocritical and incompetent administration ever.
Steve: Let us know when your mom is a prospective First Lady. There are different rules that apply.
I too am in St. Louis, and I can say that, without a doubt, that Steve's mom is H-O-T!
I'll denounce Heinz for owning Wal-Mart stock the moment libertarians stop 1)complaining about taxes or 2) using the roads and parks.
Shorter joe: Only people with whom I disagree politically are required to adheere to principles. People with whom I agree are free to violate them at will.
Swing and a miss! Dumbing down for the likes of Phil, my point was, it is extremely difficult to live 100% according to one's ideals in a world that incentivises choices that conflict with those ideals, while raising practical barriers to conforming to them.
I can't even put into words just how tired I already am of hearing about Kerry y Bush. Good Lord, how many more months do we have to sit through this??
Make it stop! For the love of God, make it stop!
Yes, I too am curious to hear about the "practical barriers" that prevented Mrs. Kerry from not buying Wal-Mart stock. I have never been forced to buy a particular stock in my life. There was no investment tool available to her that would provide a similarly stable return without supporting a business whose practices she doesn't support? Amazing.
I suppose one can imagine that she's buying up large blocks of shares so she can vote them a certain way and change everything from the inside. But I suspect that's not the truth.
(I'll stop using the roads when joe starts voluntarily sending an extra 25% of his paycheck to the I.R.S. and asking for it to be earmarked for Medicare and Social Security.)
Steve, who's marching you at gunpoint into the park?
Phil, I already pay for Social Security and Medicare.
And I already pay for roads.
And I already pay for roads.
You gonna let us know about those barriers that forced Kerry to invest in Wal-Mart soon, or no?
You'll notice that I did not mention roads and parks. Maybe I'm a bad libertarian, but I have a tendency not to mind their existence.
joe, the obvious difference is that nobody FORCED a bunch of Wal-Mart stock onto Mme. Kerry, she acquired it through voluntary transactions. There were many other different stocks she could have padded her portfolio with that were not so personally objectionable to her.
Unfortunately, most of us don't have the same option when it comes to paying taxes.
Incentives compelled her to invest in a profitable and diverse portfolio.
So for having a set of ethics more complicated than your own, "If it makes money, it's good," she gets charged with being a hypocrit, while you get to claim that every selfish act you perform is virtuous.
Nice gig you've go there. Don't worry, I hear hellfire is a dry heat.
I'm sure there are many, many different retail stocks Mme. Kerry could have invested in that don't have the barbaric and exploitative practices that that evil spawn of Sam Walton does.
Don't mind me, I'm drrrrunk.
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