? The Massachusetts Division of Medical Assistance has revealed that it spent almost $50,000 in 1993 on fertility drugs for 260 people, including about 80 mothers on welfare. Two of those moms already had eight children each.

? For 10 years, Velma Williamson and Theresa Taylor have given free haircuts to people who could not afford them, including men at Duluth, Minnesota's Union Gospel Mission. But the two don't have barber's licenses, so the state Board of Barber Examiners has told them to cut it out, or face 90 days in jail and a $700 fine.

? Meanwhile, air controller Douglas Hartman has filed suit against the FAA, charging sexual harassment. Hartman claims that he was forced to walk a gauntlet of female colleagues who groped him during a training workshop. The workshop was designed to reduce sexual harassment.

? Last year, under threat of federal regulation, Rep. Edward Markey (D-Mass.) got cable and broadcast television executives to adopt labelling for programs containing violence or other objectionable material. Now Markey has a new beef. His investigation has revealed that most newspapers' weekly TV schedules don't include the warnings. He says he's going to look into the matter. Maybe he should look into the U.S. Constitution instead. He might discover something called the First Amendment.

? Rosemarie Spearman thought she could earn some bonus points in history and help educate her fellow students about the West African nation of Burkina Faso, where her family once lived, by bringing some artifacts from that country to class. So with her teacher's permission, the 16-year-old brought colored cloth, beaded purses, and ceremonial knives from that country to her Atlanta high school. Unfortunately, she did it on a day when her school conducted a surprise weapons sweep. Now she's facing charges of concealing a weapon and bringing a weapon onto school property.

? The promoters of Woodstock '94 liked to claim that it would be more than a concert. They allowed environmental groups to set up booths on the grounds and educate people. Apparently, it didn't take. Woodstock officials are accused of violating laws mandating that materials be recycled instead of thrown into landfills. They also face criticism for the wooded areas and wetlands trampled by crowds listening to the music and for a stream that was polluted by the festival's overflowing toilets.

? In Utah, the Labor Department has barred KRT Drywall-Acoustical from working any federal contracts because it has no female employees. The government didn't buy KRT's assertion that it was difficult to find women willing and able to lug around 120-pound drywall sheets all day.

? The European Union has slapped a quota on nonhuman dolls from China. Human figures aren't covered. This means that customs officials have to determine the "humanity" of dolls imported into member countries. Teddy bears are covered by the quota. Batman and Robin aren't. Star Trek's Captain Kirk is not covered, but his first officer, Spock, is. Hey, wait a minute, isn't Spock's mother an earthling?

? In Chicago, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission has ordered restaurant owner Hans Mosbach to hire a specific number of older workers and to prominently post signs in his establishment apologizing for past discrimination against older workers. At issue is an ad the federal commission says he placed with an employment firm asking for waiters who were young. There's just one problem. Mosbach says he didn't place such an ad and the employment firm backs him up. He's asked the EEOC to produce the ad, but it refused. It seems that the EEOC doesn't believe that Mosbach has a right to see the evidence against him.

? Earlier this year, Steven Seagal starred in On Deadly Ground, a film in which he did battle with evil oil companies destroying the environment. Now he's making Under Siege II, in which a film company endangers the environment. For real. It seems the production crew accidentally set several fires over a three-mile area.