Why Obama's Syria Speech Was Like the iPhone 5C Announcement or, Groovelocity Denied.

Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan has an interesting post up regarding the optics of Obama's speech last night. Here's a snippet:

They ought to go back to giving major addresses in the Oval Office, because it has a mystique and stature that it lends to those who sit at the big desk. The president’s staffers apparently think the Oval is tired, or insufficiently groovy, or something. They have him stand at a podium and talk into an empty room under Bela Lugosi lighting. The groovelocity of this choice is lost on me.

Groovelocity is a tremendous word.

Noonan's points about substance strike me as generally on-target. She writes:

He should have canceled the speech. It was halfhearted, pro forma and strange. It added nothing, did not deepen or advance the story, was not equal to the atmosphere surrounding it, and gave no arguments John Kerry hasn’t made, often more forcefully, in the past 10 days.

It was a time filler: The White House had asked for the time and had to fill it. But at this point in the president’s Syria drama an indifferent piece of work only underscores the overall impression that things just aren’t working that well in the White House.

It is hard to believe a lot of people watched. It’s hard to believe hearts were changed.

That last point is certainly true: Nobody's mind was changed by Obama simply repeating points that he's made a thousand times in a thousand different ways. It doesn't even rise to the level of anti-climax.

Read Noonan here. 

It's fitting that he gave the speech on the same day that Apple introduced its underwhelming new iteration of the iPhone. What both announcements had in common was a shared lack of any serious forward movement, a sense of at-least-mild exhaustion, and no clarity on what comes next.

Watch "4 Takeaways from Obama's Speech on Syria" (1.37 minutes):

 

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  • Sevo||

    He had to follow Putin and Putin became a tough act to follow, courtesy of Obama's gaffes.
    Needed dancing girls and a big tune.

  • Plopper||

  • ||

    Sorry. but I may not be around for comments. I am very depressed and in the last stages of drinking myself unconscious.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    The comments don't even make sense. Like, these people don't seem to understand English.

  • Irish||

    Every day I am thankful that I am not a progressive. The level of utter misery that seems to go along with the progressive worldview is just staggering.

    I've seen studies saying that libertarians and Republicans are generally happier than Democrats. Now normally I don't believe these horseshit social science studies, but every time I see the Democrats have a total conniption fit over their Tragedy of the Week, it becomes more obvious that they almost relish their misery. They wallow in it.

    Progressives don't seem capable of being content. If I had as many libertarians in congress as the progressives have like-minded people in congress, I'd be over the moon. Yet they are absolutely miserable because they haven't yet stamped out the last vestiges of individuality and forced all of humanity into the hive.

    It's delicious.

  • ||

    It's another way that they project. Part of the reason they are so dedicated to fucking other people and taking away their liberty is that they desperately want you to be miserable too. You must have noted that they are very focused on equality of outcome; this is partly why. They would rather drag everyone down to their shitty miserable level than see anyone be happy.

    It's a toxic stew of insecurity, envy, stupidity, venality, and hatred. Yeah, they are miserable. And they are going to do everything they can to see to it that everyone else is too.

  • thom||

    They don't want equality of outcome, they want equality of outcome for everybody else. The same progressives who will opine endlessly about how everybody should be solidly middle class tend to love eating at expensive restaurants and playing with their Apple products.

  • Drake||

    I believe those happiness polls. It's pretty easy to be happy when you only have worry about yourself, family, and close friends.

    When you have to worry about controlling the behavior of every person in the world, climate change, and somebody owning a 20-rd mag, it has to be incredibly depressing.

  • MJGreen||

    I always say, it must be exhausting to be these people. How can you sustain this outrage, day in and day out? Enough to write blog posts every day bitching about this, that or the other?

  • Ptah-Hotep||

    . How can you sustain this outrage, day in and day out? Enough to write blog posts every day bitching about this, that or the other?

    Don't you visit HnR regularly? The question answers itself.

  • Irish||

    There's a lot more mocking and laughing on H&R. Daily Kos, Think Progress and Democratic Underground have nothing but endless rage.

  • SugarFree||

    There's some hateful jokes and bitter laughter. Nothing creative of course, these are people who think repeating RETHUGULIANS for the billionth time is the height of wit, after all.

  • Killazontherun||

    The source of their misery is they look at humanity as a problem to be solved but at the same time they lack the gratitude, humility and respect for it that makes insight into human nature possible.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    I've seen studies saying that libertarians and Republicans are generally happier than Democrats.

    Life is much easier to deal with when you don't live in constant, mortal terror that someone, somewhere might be committing thoughtcrimes against your TEAM.

  • Loki||

    Progs are more like puritans than they'd ever admit. Both worldviews share the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be doing something they don't like and enjoying it.

    The only real difference is the kinds of things that set them off. For puritans it's often sex and religion stuff. For progs, it's pretty much anything else.

  • ant1sthenes||

    I wouldn't even give them that. It's not like Puritans wanted to eliminate sex, they just wanted it rigidly controlled. Progressives have politicized sexuality too, though it's usually either the public healther or (more typically) the feminists specifically.

    And they basically take a religious view of the state and brook no dissent.

  • anon||

    Sorry. but I may not be around for comments. I am very depressed and in the last stages of drinking myself unconscious.

    Damn, that's usually my response to the stories posted at Reason!

  • Plopper||

    But at least in those stories there was a victim. No victims here except the hearts and minds of a bunch of progtards.

  • Irish||

    Pueblo and Colorado Springs are not (12+ / 0-)
    Aurora or Littleton.

    Why are elections lost on gun control?

    Fear.

    You just want to take away my guns stone cold fear. They whip it up faster than a runaway train.

    In the same post that he name drops mass shootings as a reason for more gun control he claims that his opponents are the scared ones.

    Projection is wonderful.

  • ||

    Not to mention that he just admitted he wants to take guns away.

  • ||

    You just want to take away my guns right to control my own body stone cold fear. They whip it up faster than a runaway train.

  • anon||

    If one is not gun-phobic, (0+ / 0-)
    one is a complete idiot.

    Guns kill.

    by Duckmg on Wed Sep 11, 2013 at 08:58:43 AM PDT

    ahahahahahahahahahhaa

  • ||

    Oh, their impotent wailing and rending of garments is truly delicious, isn't it? It's the impotence that I like the most, though.

  • Andrew S.||

    What the hell is RKBA?

    Anyways, yes. That is... beautiful, in its own way.

  • BakedPenguin||

    RKBA.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Let me guess. Royal Knitting and Buggery Association?

  • BakedPenguin||

    Close - the Randy Knackers' Benevolent Association

  • ||

    No, you idiot, it's the Ruined Knickers Bereavement Association.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Rounded Knockers Buffering Association?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Real Kirk Bereavement Association?

  • UnCivilServant||

    Rich Kimberlite Boring Aperture?

  • ||

    Real Kirk Beating Ass. Idiot.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Real Kirk Banishing Asians? You know, to Ceti Alpha V or VI?

  • ||

    I want to state here, that I am not a member of RKBA. I actually was a member briefly, but I got unceremoniously kicked out -- you see, I believe that all handguns and semiautomatic weapons should be illegal, and that long guns should be limited to a 3-round magazine.

    HAHAHAHAHAHA fuck off, scum.

  • Irish||

    I joined the ACLU but was kicked out when I argued that speech should be heavily regulated by the Federal Government. I just can't figure out why.

  • ant1sthenes||

    He believes in the right to keep and bear arms, provided they pose no threat to the totalitarian dominion of the progressive faith.

  • General Butt Naked||

    Is there some sort of org that goes by RKBA? I've never heard of them before.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Bonjour, scum.

  • General Butt Naked||

    Aurora or Littleton.

    Why are elections lost on gun control?

    Fear.

    You just want to take away my guns stone cold fear. They whip it up faster than a runaway train.

    "They're using fear to defeat our campaign of fear! The bastards!"

  • ||

    Uh oh, the Syrian distraction from the NSA scandals is running out of steam. They're going to need a new one. Are there any mass shootings they can utilize?

  • Lord Humungus||

    only your mom remains standing... well, resting.

  • Goldwin Smith||

    Ah Nick thinks he's so hip. Because nothing says anti-authority and rebellion than listening to an old man and doing the same things he did.

    Also if you really want to be a contrarian then why not write a post on how Breaking Bad sucks?

  • Brandon||

    What the hell are you even talking about? You're the least coherent troll here.

  • Goldwin Smith||

    Nick is really annoying when he tries to be hip and cool and this title is a perfect example. Also when has troll become "someone I disagree with"?

  • Loki||

    Pretty much since the day Al Gore invented the internet.

  • Killazontherun||

    Hey, that's his schtick and he is damn good at it. It's like hating on Cher for being the Queen of the Skinny Ass Twerkers in her prime.

  • Plopper||

    Dunno if this has already been linked to yet:

    Jon Stewart Gleefully Mocks Obama, Kerry for 'Bumble-F*cking' Their Way In and Out of Syria

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oisXKt6A6YU

  • kinnath||

    I watched and enjoyed that one.

  • wareagle||

    and in two years, he'll tell you with equal glee why other Obama's VP or Kerry's predecessor at State is the only logical choice for POTUS.

  • BakedPenguin||

    When you've lost the Stewart...

  • Hugh Akston||

    Christ Jon Stewart is tedious.

  • jester||

    Thanks for the link. I stopped watching Stewart a long time ago. I admit that it was not funny to me, this episode and it seemed like canned laughter that responded to his points.
    It wasn't funny because Johnny-come-latelys aren't funny. It should have been funny but it wasn't. It was painful.

  • Loki||

    So, does this make Jon Stewart an isolationist, neo-confederate, racist libertarian now?

  • Irish||

    I was with him until he decided to save his angriest rant for Fox News. Obama almost blundered us into a war, and Fox News gets the brunt of Stewart's anger.

    What a pathetic little man.

  • Killazontherun||

    What I get for not updating for twenty minutes. You already covered that!

  • Killazontherun||

    Thought it was pretty funny, and mostly on point. The one thing off for me, and, of course, the crowd loved the most, was that monotone machine gun syllabic of insults aimed at Fox News pundits for being right about Putin being the mastermind who won a rhetorical match over the feckless Barry O. That West Wing inspired gibberish is like cocaine to them. It really, really gets them off. Aside from that, a pretty good segment.

  • ||

    My favorite post-speech spin came from some lunatic woman on CNN, after Newcular Titties suggested the speech was a mistake, who actually said "Absolutely not and, you know, there's no reason why he can't give two speeches". Yep, that's what the American people are looking for, another fucking speech.

  • ||

    NEEDZ MOAR SPEECHEZ

  • Andrew S.||

    Since Obama is such a genius orator (unlike the idiot that preceeded him!), obviously if we let him speak more he'll convince everybody of how right he is.

  • Loki||

    We're always just one God-king Lightbringer Obama the Magnificent speech from finally perfecting society!

  • BBB||

    Is it just me, or did Obama's speech look like it was made in front a greenscreen, with the corridor behind him filled in electronically? That certainly didn't help. If he DID do that, perhaps he should consider sticking something like waving American flags in the background. That would have enabled the full jingo.

  • Pro Libertate||

    He should've done it with the towers burning and collapsing behind him.

  • Andrew S.||

    And dead bodies stacked up in front of him. You know, like he did after Sandy Hook and Aurora.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Maybe they could CGI all of the victims behind him, singing softly an ode to Obama?

  • Drake||

    Better yet, CGI Obama. That way, Jarret can just type up the speech and let it play.

  • Pro Libertate||

    What about just replacing him altogether with CGI?

  • Drake||

    Maybe it has already happened?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Well, I've never seen him in person.

  • Loki||

    CGI? Try 3-D hologram. Like they did with Tupac a couple of years ago.

  • Loki||

    CGI? Try 3-D hologram. Like they did with Tupac a couple of years ago.

  • Loki||

    FUCK YOU 3:00 PM SERVER SQUIRRELZ!!!!!11!!!!

  • Pro Libertate||

    Do you think they've replaced the nuclear football with a smartphone app?

  • Drake||

    Hopefully an adult is in charge of the football and keeps it far away from Obama.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Probably an iPhone app that has to be activated by beating some game.

  • RBS||

    Level 1,000,000,000 of Candy Crush Saga.

  • Loki||

    I would have thought level 60 of Heaven vs. Hell.

  • ||

    I was wrong.

    There was that so hard?

    I spoke off the cuff and I shouldn't have.

    Or...

    I was going to use the airtime to try and convince you that military action was necessary, but, in the meantime a new development has arisen that I would like to explore. Forgive me, but the speech is canceled until the new prospect is fully investigated.

    What. The. Fuck? These people are so arrogant that they cannot ever consider admitting their errors? Someone in Syria has to die rather than admit he misspoke or spoke without thinking it all the way through? We must sit through a speech that's been overcome by events because his ego will not allow him to show the slightest bit of "I'm not completely in control of everything"?

    Does anyone else think that an administration might get more political mileage by forsaking the cookie cutter politically proven action and just tell the people the truth?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Normally, the speech would've been cancelled. But these aren't normal people or normal times.

  • anon||

    These people are so arrogant that they cannot ever consider admitting their errors?

    You're just now getting this?

  • ||

    They're sociopaths. What the fuck do you expect?

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Does anyone else think that an administration might get more political mileage by forsaking the cookie cutter politically proven action and just tell the people the truth?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! You so funny!

  • ||

    No, really. Rand's rebuttal last night was a perfect example. I was thinking after watching it, that it was particularly effective. I asked myself why. It was because he was talking to the audience like a person rather than a politician. It was a conversation discussing the pros and cons of his argument rather than a collection of platitudes and sound bites.

    They're sociopaths.

    Won't argue that. But a guy who showed he's a human being might just inspire people.

  • Loki||

    HOW DARE YOU IMPLY THAT THE GOD-KING IS A MERE MORTAL!!!!!!!

  • wareagle||

    I don't get the anti-Oval Office thing, either. Must like the visual of himself walking to and from the lectern.

  • ||

    The hallway looks very...royal, doesn't it?

  • Hugh Akston||

    Yes, almost imperial even.

  • jester||

    Imperial Pale Ale or Stout?

  • Killazontherun||

    Pale. Even though I liked the SN Tumbler Brown Ale, with its smooth balance of toasted malt and hops, I haven't been in much of a mood for stouts lately. The summer just got a little warmer, and I need a good IPA for the yard work coming up in a few days.

  • Bardas Phocas||

    At first I thought it needs some more flash - like the Centari imperial guards in BFive. Or maybe like the guards outside the Brazillian president's office.
    http://image.shutterstock.com/.....725814.jpg

  • Bardas Phocas||

    Here's some pictures of them with helmets and pig stickers. These guys chased us away from the building when we got too close to the moat they surround all their gov building with in Brazilia. [that is a weird city]

  • Bardas Phocas||

  • Loki||

  • ||

    Yep. Columns, red carpet, fancy chandelier...

    It's a combination between Imperial Rome and Versailles. His Majesty requires such a backdrop

  • wareagle||

    his sycophants have projected so many of their aspirations on him that, combined with his own already oversized ego, he believes himself on a level with royalty. I mean, any garden variety bureaucrat, CEO, or prole can sit at a desk; not everyone has a flag-lined hallway befitting their majesty.

  • Swamp Think||

    Wasn't it Reagan's image people who started that? Specifically for The Majesty of the setting?

  • Goldwin Smith||

    You Know Who Else went to war because of their ego?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uM01v_vVnbg

  • Drake||

    I just realized that Obama kind of looks like Groucho.

  • PD Scott||

    Go, and never darken our towels again!

  • jester||

    Don't be silly, wars are started to protect children.

  • NoVAHockey||

    I'll be honest. I didn't watch. I really don't care what he had to say.
    That and the Pirates were on. which is really weird to say.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Barry and the Pirates?

  • NoVAHockey||

    Barry? That's .. cruel.

  • Andrew S.||

    Didn't watch either. As I said last night, I don't hate myself enough.

    I played Saints Row IV instead. Now that's a fun game.

  • UnCivilServant||

    Sadly it felt more like an expansion pack to III than it's own game. While that's not bad given how fun III was, it makes me feel cheated for paying full price.

  • Ska||

    So waiting until it's $15 on Steam would be the move?

    Not sure if GTA V on PS3/XBOX 360 is worth it, or suck it up and wait the extra year for a PC port.

  • Ted S.||

    As I said last night, I was watching the US sccer team beat Mexico and advance to another World Cup!

  • Timon 19||

    1.9 overnight rating for just the ESPN broadcast (nevermind the UniMas Spanish language broadcast).

    5.1 rating in Columbus.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I'm oddly unconcerned about Columbus' ratings, but I did see the game. Very nice win, and thank you Honduras.

  • Timon 19||

    All Honduras did was give Klinsy a chance to experiment for the last two games. There's no way we tank both at home against Jamaica AND away to Panama badly enough to drop out of the automatic qualifying places.

  • Pro Libertate||

    We still have a shot at the top seed, right?

  • Timon 19||

    Finishing top of the Hex in no way guarantees any favorable placing in the draw in January.

    We've finished top of the Hex in the last two consecutive cycles and it's not earned us one of the 8 top seeds (which puts you in the pot that is drawn first, and typically has the most powerful countries, making the chances of you having a favorable draw better).

    Brazil, as host, gets one of those seeds regardless. The crusty fuckers at FIFA who generate the arbitrary set of rules that determine that first pot is not likely to allow us into it.

  • BakedPenguin||

    If Mexico beats Costa Rica, we sure do. However, the way they're playing now...

  • BakedPenguin||

    Oops. I defer to the superior knowledge of the Timon.

  • Timon 19||

    I just reviewed the likely pot arrangement and I think there's no way in hell we get a top seed strictly because of the number of European teams that qualify coupled with the European bias for the top seeds.

    In short, because FIFA is set in their ways and biases, and it would kill their "European pot" that they've used forever now, we're consigned to the peon (CONCACAF/Asia) pot.

  • Pro Libertate||

    To be sure, with Brazil hosting, we're all a little fucked already.

  • Mike M.||

    Short version of Obama's speech:

    "I'm smart! I can handle things! I'm not dumb like everybody says. I'm smart and I want respect!!"

  • Ronny Paulino||

    I drive a Dodge Stratus!!

  • Timon 19||

    Dos a Cero IV was on. Got the best overnight, I believe, ever for a US game. The broadcast networks were hampered by weak material, I guess.

  • ||

    Since they're not interested in confiscating the chemical weapons, I can only assume they'd actually prefer that Assad keep them.

  • Jim Treacher||

    Yeah, but in the Oval Office, he can't strut up to the camera. That's his favorite part.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I see him kind of like Rick James in the Charlie Murphy story. Strutting around, making staffers show his friends their tits, hitting people for no reason, and grinding his dirty shoes into the furniture in the Oval Office.

  • H. ReardEn||

    Groovelocity

    Am I the only one who read that as grovelocity?

  • Paul.||

    He should have canceled the speech. It was halfhearted, pro forma and strange. It added nothing, did not deepen or advance the story, was not equal to the atmosphere surrounding it, and gave no arguments John Kerry hasn’t made, often more forcefully, in the past 10 days.

    By the way, she just inadvertently described nearly every business meeting I've been in over the last 15 years. To the T.

  • Paul.||

    Or is it 'tee'?

  • Spoonman.||

    Your business meetings only contain arguments already made by John Kerry? Remind me to NEVER apply for a job at your company.

  • Paul.||

    I wish they included argument made by John Kerry.

  • Paul.||

    Oh, and how is the iPhone announcement comparable to the President's speech? I would think an announcement from the county fair about the biggest turnip blue-ribbon prize would be more fascinating and information-filled than anything coming from Cardboard Cutout.

    Which, by the way, reminds me. 'Member when everyone was saying that [Cardboard Cutout] polled better than Obama in the pre-election days before Romney had officially announced? The irony is, Cardboard Cutout won.

  • PapayaSF||

    Bashing Apple is what passes for hipness these days. "You didn't announce something to revolutionize computing for the seventh or eighth time? Loser!"

    The iPhone 5S is merely the first 64-bit phone, twice as fast as the old one, with a much better camera, and a motion co-processor that opens up all sorts of possibilities, and a fingerprint reader that makes it easy to secure your phone. All for the same price as the last model.

    The 5C: cheaper, but not cheap enough, it seems.

    First World Problems.

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