Massive Drug War #Fail No. 4,123: Smugglers Shoot Pot Into U.S. With Cannons!

Via Michelle Fields comes this CBS News story about the latest way around drug-interdiction efforts:

U.S. Border Patrol agents say smugglers have come up with yet another creative way to get drugs in the country — a cannon.

Authorities say 33 cans of marijuana were spotted Friday in a field near where the Colorado River crosses the U.S.-Mexico border. They believe the cans were launched about 500 feet into the U.S. using a pneumatic-powered cannon.

Next to drug users - who are generally unparalleled in their McGuyveresque ability to turn anything into a means of getting high - drug smugglers may be the most inventive group of people in this and any other universe. When full legalization comes, perhaps some of those smarts will be harnessed into positive economic activity. The CBS tale ends with this lotsa-luck finish:

Authorities say Border Patrol agents in the Yuma sector near the Arizona-California border are adapting and shifting resources as smugglers come up with new ways of transporting their contraband.

Given law enforcement's willingness to buy stories about butt-chugging, jenkem, and more, I'm pretty sure the smugglers will always be a couple of steps ahead of the cops. 

Whole thing here.

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  • A Serious Man||

    When I hear something being launched from a cannon, I immediately think of launching Super Mario from a cannon in all those old games.

    That's be a great idea: Super Mario Drug Smuggler!

  • Hyperion||

    Look at our jug eared bafoon in chief. Duhhh, what is that thing? How do you turn it on, derrrr...

  • Spartacus||

    Drones. They will soon start using drones for transport. Or maybe mini-helicopters. Any drone copter that can deliver a couple of burritos can drop off a kilo just as easily.

  • Brandon||

    Quiet, fool! You'll give away my Eighth-and-a-burrito business plan!

  • Brett L||

    How much for a 'teenth and a taco?

  • Loki||

    McGuyveresque ability to turn anything into a means of getting high

    One of my college roommates swore he knew a guy in high school who turned a Bible into a bong.

  • Brett L||

    I don't know about a bong, but the blank pages at the back of the Gideon's Bible make great rolling papers in a pinch.

  • Hyperion||

    Ok, I'm going to try thinking like a bureaucrat at the DEA for a minute here...

    Ok, I've got it!

    Anyone buying pipe, any kind of pipe, metal, plastic, needs to submit to a thorough FBI background check, be finger printed, submit to an anal probe, and register in the sex offender and terrorist database.

    Problem averted!

  • Loki||

    Ok, I'm going to try thinking like a bureaucrat

    FAIL. Bureaucrats are incapable of thinking.

  • Adam330||

    Clearly we need an Iron Dome system for the US-Mexico border.

  • Christina||

    Because SNL is very good (bad?) about pulling down unauthorized content, you'll have to contend with this.

    You put your weed in there.

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    I loved that skit. Probably because I was really high. My wife and I were in Macy's home store a couple of weeks ago, and we were doing the same with various housewares. The sales assistant didn't think we were as funny.

  • Zeb||

    What the hell is in that picture? Presidential potato canon? And why is there a Durex condom package on it?

  • SugarFree||

    It fires condoms at Sandra Fluke.

  • Christina||

    Sandra Fluke doesn't want condoms like some common prole! She wants prescription birth control that will make her flow lighter, her skin clearer, and her PMS a faint memory. Which is why a cannon of Durex condoms are such a perfect weapon against her! Brilliant!

  • BarryD||

    Women on birth control supposedly tend to choose men who are bad in bed. We should give her free pills. What the hell, let's do it. It'll be it's own revenge.

  • Loki||

    Thanks, I just nearly blew soda out of my nose.

    +1 nasal soda geyser.

  • Thane of Whiterun||

    It's a marshmallow cannon.

    Why somebody shopped a Durex package on it, I have no idea.

    Maybe it reminded them of their condom testing days?

  • SugarFree||

    Apple, paper towel tube, a soda can, Honey Bear, a ceramics project for high school art class, and I once put together a gravity bong in less than 10 minutes while already drunk.

  • Brett L||

    What's so hard about a gravity bong? A knife, a plastic bottle, a cooler full of water and a tea screen will get you there. Or, so I've heard.

  • SugarFree||

    It was the level of drunk and the lack of blood that made it an achievement, little else.

  • Brett L||

    Ah, yes. Keeping the blood on the inside is always a good trick when drunken knifework is employed.

  • Trespassers W||

    That's straight out of Kings of the High Frontier, yo.

  • BarryD||

    Why don't they just use quadrotor drones?

  • ||

    This is what happens when you try to stop human beings from engaging in mutually beneficial exchange.

    If they really want to stifle drug production, they should collectivize the marijuana farms, and unionize their labor. Then declare weed to be a basic necessity and impose a price cap on it.

  • Draft Tulpa 2016||

    You could argue that this is helping humanity by forcing advances in technology. I mean, the cartels have to be working on teleportation technology, right?

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