There Are Those Who Say “Drink!” Play Along With Reason’s 2012 SOTU Drinking Game

Here’s a sample of the bad news America will be facing when President Obama takes the floor in Congress to give his third State of the Union address tonight: A sluggish economy, persistently high unemployment, a fiscal crisis in Europe casting uncertainty over U.S. markets, massive federal debt at home, and no plausible plan to stop the federal government’s ongoing spending and borrowing binge.

It’s enough to drive a person to drink. But that’s where the good news comes in: The state of the union may be sobering, but you’re under no requirement to hear about it while sober.

So while President Obama lays out his priorities for the coming year, Reason’s editors will focus on our priority for this evening: the 2012 SOTU drinking game.

The great thing about drinking games is that everyone can be a winner. So for those who want to play along at home, take a drink (and click a link) every time the President...

Better stock up the cooler now, folks. And be sure to tune in to Hit & Run to watch as Reason’s editors heroically attempt to play their own game while live-Tweeting (hey, 2012!) the speech.

Can’t wait for the fun to start? Want to cherish special memories of SOTU speeches past? Or, as may be the case, don’t have any memories of them at all, and want to find out what happened? Get warmed up for this year’s speech by revisiting Reason’s 2010 and 2011 SOTU drinking games.  

Disclaimer: As always, Reason endorses drinking responsibly -- how else will you know if the president is misleading you?

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  • Paul||

    There Are Those Who Say

    Drink!

  • Sheesh||

    Flippancy, thy name is Libertarian.

  • Sheesh||

    Drink!
    [gag]

  • WTF||

    says “there are those” or “there are some

    That alone will have me shitfaced in an hour.

  • fish||

    That alone will have me shitfaced in an hour.

    Hour? I'd just line up Tequila shots. You will probably bombed after the first ten minutes.

  • Tim||

    Binge Drinking!

  • Standing O||

    "I shall not seek, and I will not accept, the nomination of my party for another term as your president."

  • My "O" face||

    ....i'm making it.

  • duster||

    i am reporting this blog post to the CDC

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    I think this SOTU is going to somehow give me radiation poisoning.

  • protefeed||

    You forgot to add that anyone following these drinking rules needs to put an alcohol poisoning center hot line on speed dial.

  • ||

    They'll be dead by alcohol poisoning by the time Obama finishes his first sentence. I wonder if Peter Suderman is actually a secret communist who posted this to lure libertarians into drinking themselves to death so that the statists had less opposition.

  • Mr. Soul||

    The Guinness will make SOTU better. The SOTU will make the Guinness worse.

  • Joe R.||

    I know which one I'd give up.

  • Mike M.||

    I'd rather drink strychnine than spend even one minute listening to another speech from this asshole.

  • kinnath||

    There isn't enough alcohol in the world that would convince me to watch Obama blather about the state of union.

  • ||

    How will I know if the president is lying to me?
    His lips will be moving.
    Some things have always been true and will always be true.

    no hugs for thugs,
    Shirley Knott

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Sometimes its just his thumbs moving when he tweets lies.

  • tarran||

    My plan for the State of the Union:

    1) Work on a programming project for a client of my software business.

    2) Put on an episode of Mongrels

    3) Barry who?

    The world would be a better place if more people gave presidents the attention they deserve: none at all.

  • Paul||

    Why they're voting for Obama:

    http://donhall.blogspot.com/20.....gain.html#!/2011/12/why-im-voting-for-barack-obama-again.html

    He implemented an auto industry rescue plan, and saved as many as 1 million jobs.

    Many are of the opinion that he saved the entire auto industry, and even the economy of the entire Midwest.

    He provided a $20 billion increase for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (Food Stamps).

    He ordered the closure of the prison at Guantanamo Bay. It was Republicans (and a smattering of Democrats) who prevented him from following through.

    http://www.brianmclaren.net/ar.....son-5.html

    Why I'm voting for Barack Obama ... and I hope you will too. Reason 5
    Reason 5: The Sacredness of Life
  • ||

    Wow.

  • Paul||

    Moar:

    http://www.policymic.com/debates/3347

    Internationally, Obama has deftly managed the complexity of U.S. policy through the Arab Spring, killed Osama bin Laden, reset our relations with Russia, ended the combat mission in Iraq, banned the use of torture, restored respectability to the United Nations and the G-20, and successfuly (until now) contained a nuclear Iran. Would we like to see Guantanamo closed, troops out of Afghanistan, and peace in Israel-Palestine? Of course, but note the number of positives.

    http://www.jimjesus.com/2011/0.....owing.html

    So I'm going to explain why I am voting for Barack Obama in 2012 and disavowing any hope for candidates like Ron Paul or Gary Johnson.

    I didn't know this but Somalia was an anarcho-captialist country for a whole decade! Let's ignore the fact they never set out to create that kind of utopian idea and they just had to deal with a collapsed communist state. We don't care about that, because after all, there's only one group proposing a stateless social structure; libertarians.

    Drink!

  • ||

    Somalia, Roads!!! It is like chimps in suits. It never gets old.

  • Restoras||

    Speaking of, this is one of my faves...
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDowTz8-Vno

  • ||

    I'm pretty sure the 2nd guy is being sarcastic.

  • Loki||

    You wish

  • Doktor Kapitalism||

    "there's only one group proposing a stateless social structure; libertarians."

    White Indian wishes...

  • ||

    Internationally, Obama has deftly managed the complexity of U.S. policy through the Arab Spring,

    Paving the way for repressive Islamists, FTW!

    killed Osama bin Laden,

    Personally!

    reset our relations with Russia,

    How, exactly? Isn't Russia still busting our balls on Iran?

    ended the combat mission in Iraq,

    Stuck to the Bush schedule like a champ!

    banned the use of torture,

    Wasn't it always banned? I thought the big argument was over what counts as torture.

    restored respectability to the United Nations and the G-20,

    I got nuthin'.

    and successfuly (until now) contained a nuclear Iran.

    Again, matching a Bush achievement is grounds for celebrating! Woot!

  • ||

    Aw...you don't remember the Russian "reset" button?

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7930047.stm

  • JEP||

    "and successfuly (until now) contained a nuclear Iran."

    I like how not going to war with a country is now considered an accomplishment.

  • GILMORE||

    Internationally, Obama has deftly managed the complexity of U.S. policy through the Arab Spring...

    'standing by and doing nothing', 'expressing no substantive view of the matter', 'wait-and-seeing', is truly some Deft Shit.

    reset our relations with Russia

    Wow.... 'reset'. Does that mean he's renegotiated nuclear disarmament treaties? Changed trade relations? Gotten cooperation on our sanctions regime for free, without having to pay through the nose for it?...

    Not really. Via FP:

    November 2011 - The U.S.-Russian talks to cooperate on missile defense have apparently failed, as Russian President Dmitry Medvedev announced a series of retaliatory measures today aimed at giving Russia the ability to destroy the American-led system in Eastern Europe.

    In a statement to the "citizens of Russia" on Wednesday, Medvedev announced that the year-long negotiations between the President Barack Obama's administration and its Russian counterparts to find a way to work together on what's known as the European Phased Adaptive Approach to ballistic missile defense were over.

    But hey, there's nothing wrong with calling a policy a Big Win, even if there's no real substance to the claim...

    See the next one!=

    ended the combat mission in Iraq

    See, if we stop calling it "combat", it means something different!

    Also via FP =

    On Monday, U.S. President Barack Obama announced that the United States is on schedule to end combat operations in Iraq by Aug. 31. However, a residual force of at least 50,000 "noncombat" troops will remain in Iraq for the next year. So what exactly are noncombat troops?

    Whatever you want them to be. The distinction is more political than military. The White House says the remaining troops will "train and advise Iraqi Security Forces; conduct partnered and targeted counter-terrorism operations; and protect ongoing U.S. civilian and military efforts." All of this has the potential to involve quite a bit of combat.

    Next up on the Win List!

    banned the use of torture

    Funny how he managed that... long before he even became president...!

    http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/he.....ans-water/

    September 2007 - The controversial interrogation technique known as waterboarding, in which a suspect has water poured over his mouth and nose to stimulate a drowning reflex, has been banned by CIA director Gen. Michael Hayden, current and former CIA officials tell ABCNews.com. (Image above is an ABC News graphic.) The officials say Hayden made the decision at the recommendation of his deputy, Steve Kappes, and received approval from the White House to remove waterboarding from the list of approved interrogation techniques first authorized by a presidential finding in 2002. The officials say the decision was made sometime last year but has never been publicly disclosed.

    The list of 'meaningless self-declared victories' goes on...

    But hey, at least he spent another $20billion on Food Stamps. Serious stuff! Spending money on giveaways... leadership at work.

  • ||

    He implemented an auto industry rescue plan, and saved as many as 1 million jobs.

    I never knew that Michigan had 1 million Congressional Representitives.

    Many are of the opinion that he saved the entire auto industry, and even the economy of the entire Midwest.

    Many are also of the opinion that Astrology works.

    He provided a $20 billion increase for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program

    That was kinda made necessary by all the people who couldn't find jobs.

    He ordered the closure of the prison at Guantanamo Bay. It was Republicans (and a smattering of Democrats) who prevented him from following through.

    Since he is a helpless pawn in the hands of Congress, he should be re-elected. [I kinda like the idea of a helpless president, myself.]

    Reason 5
    Reason 5: The Sacredness of Life

    Especially Libyan lives or Undesirable American lives.

  • Paul||

    Sadly, I fear we're in for another four years of the Obama presidency, no matter who wins the GOP nom...

    As I said before, the rationalization is strong with these people.

  • Loki||

    Because they're zombies?

    Obama voter [moans]: Chaaaannnnnggggggeeeeeee!!!!

  • ||

    The best drinking game of all is to watch Commando, and take a drink every time Arnold

    1) kills someone,
    2) shows his muscles, or
    3) says a one-liner.

    I tried it once. I didn't finish.

  • ||

    That is like watching Scarface and drinking every time they say "Fuck". I have never known anyone who made it through the entire movie.

  • ||

    LET OFF SOME STEAM, JOHN.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I once tried to take a shot of Scotch every time William Wallace kicks ass in Braveheart. I don't remember past the first major battle.

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    You could get drunk just from the poster in the link.

  • GILMORE||

    Warty|1.24.12 @ 4:34PM|#
    The best drinking game of all is to watch Commando, ...

    Ahh... when I was in 8th grade, me and some friends got Commando, Terminator, and Rambo 3 to asses the total Body Count, and which was the most Killtastic film extant at that point in time...

    I seem to remember Rambo 3 taking the victory, but we often disputed how to count trucks full of soldiers or helicopters. We also gave bonus points for close up hand to hand impalings/evisceratings, etc. We weren't very scientific.

    I would guess now that old John Woo films like Hard Boiled have topped the '80s classics in terms of total dudes offed.

  • Britt||

    Actually I think someone once counted "acts of violence"

    Rambo 2 won it
    Then Rambo 3 bumped it out of the top spot.

    Then in 2008 there was a movie called......Rambo that took over the top spot.

    People wonder why Stallone is awesome.

  • ||

    I have a deadline tomorrow; I can't be that hung over, tsk. Though admittedly, this might make the pain of the SotU almost tolerable.

  • ¢||

    I'll drink when the "secret billionaires" link gets fixed and ruins the joke.

    folks
  • sasob||

    You left out a very important one: If the President should say pay their fare share.

  • sasob||

    fair share. (damn it)

  • Paul||

    I liked the first one better.

  • wareagle||

    shares based on how one is faring.

  • ||

    There are those who would say that there is only the false choice of letting secret billionaires and corportations who cliam to have the same rights as American citizens not pay their fair share or giving up the American dream.

  • ||

    1) Open a gallon jug.
    2) Raise it to your mouth.
    3) Guzzle.

  • ||

    If I knew how to write code, I would collect a few hundred lines of Obamaspeak and create a bot that would spit out Obamaspeak on any subject.

  • Joe M||

    Um, that's already been done. It's called Barack Obama. The RomneyBot is just an earlier model.

  • H man||

    Let me clear there are some who say that I could get drunk on near beer following these rules. They're right.

  • ||

  • ||

    I believe that Buffett's secretary will be sitting with Michelle, so there's no question she will get a shout-out.

    If Warren and his secretary are going to be useful idiots for this administration on tax policy, I think we need to see their tax returns, no?

  • Tman||

    No shot for "Let me be clear"?

    I am disappoint.

  • Loki||

    He says that so often you wouldn't have time between shots to reach for the next one. You'd end up having to hook up a direct I.V. of scotch.

    "Just hook it to veins!"

  • Loki||

    *my veins
    dammit

  • ||

    Sounds a lot like Purim, but you give too many opportunities to have a drink. I hope you mean sips, so that the participants will make it to the end.

  • Loki||

    Apparently Reason has decided to contribute to the CDC's epidemic of binge drinking. You do realize the massive number of libertarians being admitted to hospitals for alcohol poinoning tonight will just give them that much more ammunition.

  • -||

    libertarians being admitted to hospitals for alcohol poisoning

    You say that like it's a bad thing. But can one really get alcohol poisoning from a virtual drinking game taking place with virtual friends from within a chat room?

  • ||

    No shot for "shovel ready"?

  • ||

    "My administration is shovel ready!"

  • ||

    Holy cow-Buffett's secretary's in the First Lady's box! Do we have to chug?

  • ||

    This is going to be a long night considering Warren Buffet's secretary was talked about in the pre-game.

  • ||

    Hat trick in the more important event tonight in Washington. Glad Thomas is sitting because I would hate to root against him after yesterday.

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