SOTU Drinks and Links: Play Along With Our Customized, Reason-Themed State of the Union Drinking Game

In theory, the State of the Union provides the president with the opportunity to address the nation, looking forward to the challenges ahead and reflecting on the year behind. But since that's so boring that I could barely type it out without falling into an earnestness-induced stupor, let's talk about the real reason we all care about the State of the Union: drinking games! Especially those that give SOTU-watchers the opportunity to look forward to the broken promises ahead and reflect on the year of gaffes, blame-shifting, and nonsense behind. Properly conducted, by the time the speech is over, you'll be roughly as coherent as a Ted Stevens speech about the Internet.

So watch carefully, then take a drink, and check the link, any time the president...

Feel free to drink in between, too, if you're so inclined. And be sure to follow along here at Hit & Run as Reason's editors live-blog the speech.

Disclaimer! Reason endorses drinking responsibly; how else will you know if the president is trying to pull one over on you?

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  • Sudden||

    I better go pickup a keg for myself, this could get ugly.

  • ed||

    It's a trick. There isn't enough alcohol in the galaxy to get through this.

  • juris_imprudent||

    Hell, just drinking that much water could be hazardous to your health.

  • Joe M||

    Woohoo! Just what I wanted. Yeah, I'll be wiping out my keg of homebrew on this one tonight, no doubt.

  • SIV||

    "inherited"
    "not an option"

  • gas||

    Get the stomach pump ready...

  • Sudden||

    Gotta throw in "let me be clear" too.

  • ||

    I was just coming to add this one. lol

  • brotherben||

    remember to tell your wife and kids the number for nine one one.

  • prolefeed||

    Feel free to drink in between, too, if you're so inclined.

    You'd have to drink mighty damn fast to get a drink in inbetween.

  • Sam Grove||

    Get a keg hat.

  • EJM||

    For anyone who may need to stick to root or birch beer (or, for that matter, sarsaparilla), here's a whole bunch of reviews.

  • ||

    Gay.

  • Ben||

    Wouldn't that be wine, like a fine Chardonnay or something?

  • Ska||

    White zinfandel.

    Which is what they drink at the Krugman house, I would think.

  • ||

    I haven't had alchohol poisoning since college. I think I will avoid the speech and do something meaningful like watch basketball.

    You know what is going to happen. The TOOTUS is going to give a boring ass mendacious speech. And then Andrew Sullivan, Chris Matthews, Rachel Maddow, Joel Klein, Tom Friedman and the rest of the usual suspects are going to get on TV and proclaim it the greatest speech ever given by a President in a time of "crisis" and how this will change the entire political dynamic of the country and so fourth. MNG will be on here telling us how our grandchildren will be studying the speech in their civics classes.

    And tommorow morning we will wake up and nothing will have changed and this slow motion disaster of a Presidency will continue.

  • Steve Chaos||

    I haven't had alchohol poisoning since college.

    Damn, beat me to it.

  • prolefeed||

    Any of these phrases call for a drink:

    "hope", "change", "failed policies of the past", "essential services", "save or create", "bipartisan", "investment" (only if referring to gov't spending), "Let me be (perfectly) clear", "shovel-ready", or "____ that we've inherited"

  • prolefeed||

    Disclaimer! Reason endorses drinking responsibly; how else will you know if the president is trying to pull one over on you?

    His lips will be moving?

  • ||

    We think (drink?) as one...

  • Dello||

    We're gonna NEED free health care after that much drinking...

  • Banjos Kick Ass!||

    +3

  • ||

    You know, for the record, Bill Clinton was a better speaker--a much better speaker--than Obama. Not that Bill was the pinnacle of public speaking, either, but you could appreciate some of his rhetorical strokes.

    I don't get the raves Obama receives for his speeches. I'm not saying he's bad, but he's far from great. And, of course, he gets less and less effective the more he repeats his bullshit and as his credibility approaches zero. Frankly, I had much the same thought when the Democrats decided to pre-anoint him for "greater things" after that Democratic convention speech. Meh.

  • Sudden||

    I think with Clinton, the rhetorical wizardry came more from what he said than how he said it. With Obama, its all wrapped up into how he says it. He has that cool preachy voice that people seem to like (and yet fail to see the implicit holier-than-thouism that accompanies preachiness). Its a tone rather anything substantive.

  • ||

    Name one memorable phrase from any of Obama's speeches? You can't. None of them are memorable. Not one "era of big government is over" or "technocrats know how to make the trains run on time but don't know where they are going" or "boys of Point Du Hoc". Nothing.

    Yet, people like MNG are convinced that he is the greatest political speaker in American history.

  • ||

    "Name one memorable phrase from any of Obama's speeches?"

    Let me be clear...

  • Ben||

    "Just words, just speeches..."

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    From speeches or writings, we haven't had a truly quotable president since Reagan. You may not like how he went about dealing with Communism or regulatory government, but you have to admit that there are some damn good sayings attributed to the man.

  • Old Mexican||

    Well, "Read my lips: No new Taxes" is indeed highly quotable . . .

  • Sudden||

    Did you miss the glory that was GWB and the never-ending Bushisms?

    "I believe human beings and fish can coexist eacefully."

    "Too many OBGYNs aren't allowed to practice their love with women all across this country."

    "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."

    Perhaps not the witty and coherent remarks that one would expect from the most powerful man in the world, but quotables nonetheless.

  • ||

    Where are your links for those? I find that a lot of the GWB quotes are made up urban myths.

  • Sudden||

    You can listen to the man speak them yourself.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqNYDFBWAW8

    Sorry, never figured out how to hyperlink on the reason
    comment threads.

    For the three respective quotes: 1:35, 1:55, and 2:46.

  • Sudden||

    Sorry, the second quote should be at about 1:50.

  • ||

    Thanks.

  • Quoter||

    Hell yeah, I miss them! Even the mangled language showed some glimmers of genius from time to time with all his "stategery" being "misunderestimated" and his joking about "intersexual relations" while sitting next to his comedy double Steve Bridges.

    His father had a few good lines too; he's the one who introduced us to the deftly descriptive phrase "ethnic cleansing" in one of his speeches against All Things Wrong With The World, for one.

  • ed||

    He is the greatest political speaker teleprompter reader in American history.

  • Case Closed||

    But this guy is black.

    Case closed!

  • Chrispy||

    I don't get it either. Even ignoring the content of his speeches, I find his halting cadence really grating. Even his tone of voice - obviously an affectation - makes him sound like Kermit the frog.

    And if you hear him speak without a teleprompter, he stammers and stumbles as badly as Bush used to.

    Obviously I'm biased against the content of what he has to say, not to mention the sheer number of speeches he gives. But I still think he's vastly overrated. People I know who support Obama often point out his speaking ability as one of his best qualities. Sadly, they're probably right.

  • ||

    It's a mystery. Like I said, it's not that he's awful on his prepared stuff, it's just that he isn't awesome, either.

    Reagan was quite good in public speaking--lots of good anecdotes. He wasn't polished in the debate society sense, but he was definitely effective.

  • Jonas||

    I've TOTALLY DETESTED the way Obama speaks since I sat through that horrendous DNC speech he gave in 2004... and by then I already hated him as a politician.

    And what's sad is I heard some other young Democrat the other day - the guy that's planning to run against McCain in AZ - whose cadences and intonation patterns were eerily similar to Obama's.

    I'm genuinely frightened that there are a lot people out there who now consciously imitate the President's speech style because they're too dim to understand he's a sucky orator.

  • Quoter||

    One of the interesting things about Bush is that he was actually a lot better at speaking when it wasn't from a prepared speech. He made a lot of good off-the-cuff remarks.

    Given the erratic behavior and questionable loyalty of some of his former speech writers since he left office, I sometimes can't help wondering whether they were already working against him even back then.

    Heck, even Bush's verbal stumbling was nowhere near as grating as 0's "uh" count.

  • Death Panelist||

    Damn. I'm getting lit just reading the rules.

  • brotherben||

    Pro Lib, the difference is a subtle one. Bill Clinton was the epitome of a bullshitter. He knew he was lying out his ass and he made you believe every word. He could tell you he was gonna do you Steve Smith style and at the same time, convince you that you needed it and were infactgonna like it.
    Barack Obama, otoh, believes every word that comes out of his own mouth. It's what separates the politicians from the megalomaniacs.

  • ||

    Bill Clinton was and is charming. As much as I disagree with him and as lousy of a person I think he is, I have to admit, I would jump at the chance to go out drinking and hanging out with him.

    Obama doesn't seem to have an ounce of geniuneness or personality. He can't even fake it. I look in his eyes and wonder if everything is right up there.

  • brotherben||

    John, when you are absolutely positively certain that you are right about everything, you don't need those superficial things. You just need more power to do all the right things so the world can finally be better place.

  • dfd||

    Absolutely. And whatever my disagreements with Clinton there is no doubt the guy is very intelligent and would be interesting to talk to and debate issues. However, I don't get the sense that Obama is anywhere near as intelligent as his sycophants and the media (yes, I know the latter is largely a subset of the former) claim. Certainly he's not nearly as smart or charismatic as Clinton, and I think that is part of the reason I could stand listening to Clinton even when I disagreed but I can't stand listening to Obama.

  • Old Mexican||

    However, I don't get the sense that Obama is anywhere near as intelligent as his sycophants and the media (yes, I know the latter is largely a subset of the former) claim.

    Well, I don't know just how smart is Obama, since the man is so much in love with his own greatness that any discussion with him will probably spiral down into a discourse on himself.

  • ||

    Clinton was bright, though even his intelligence gets overinflated by his fans. I remember when I was at the White House hearing that he was a true whiz at crossword puzzles.

  • ||

    He was a Rhoades Scholar. Of course so is Rachel Maddow.

  • db||

    I've known several Rhodes Scholars. They're not necessarily the smartest people you know. But they tend to be motivated.

  • ||

    Kris Kristofferson. I love that.

  • Tank||

    Remember kids, stop drinking when Nancy Pelosi starts to look attractive. We don't want people dying of alcohol poisoning. Or sleeping with Nancy Pelosi.

  • brotherben||

    Stay outta my drinking game rules. Some of are into that sorta thing.

  • Sudden||

    Especially not sleeping with her. It'd be like that sex scene out of Species. scary...

  • Banjos Kick Ass!||

    "We don't want people dying of alcohol poisoning. Or sleeping with Nancy Pelosi."

    But how am I supposed to finish off my scavenger hunt? All I have left on my list is a pair of Pelosi's underwear.

  • Ben||

    Perhaps this is a scavenger hunt, you don't actually want to win.

  • Oh...||

    So I guess you guys aren't into the grudge-fucking thing...

  • Tank||

    Why are you so sure you're the one who is going to be doing the grudge fucking?

    I repeat, do not try to sleep with Nancy Pelosi.

  • ||

    Jeez, Peter. You trying to kill people? I would not recommend this unless you have sober people around you who can monitor your condition and call 911 when you collapse.

  • ||

    Why don't we all blaze it up instead?

  • ||

    I'll probably alternate to avoid a trip to the hospital.

  • Adam||

    Pansy.

  • hmm||

    I'm just going to get trashed and treat it like a one night stand with a beer goggles Brook Shields.

    So I can wake up tomorrow and act like it all never happened.

  • ||

    I am sure Obama will respect you in the morning.

  • juris_imprudent||

    If you can convince yourself that it is just residue of beer foam on your chin, go for it.

  • ¢||

    Name one memorable phrase from any of Obama's speeches? You can't.

    That "bitter, cling" sentence leaked from that secret campaign stop for SF fatcats stuck with a lot of people—though not its exact wording, because it was so awkward. He must have written that zinger himself.

    And when he tries to fly without his 'prompter wings, his ad libs stick too, but that's because he's super-retarded and people can't believe he said that shit. "My Muslim faith" wasn't the best, but it's my favorite, because everyone pretends so hard he didn't say it.

    The guy's an unprecedented verbal trainwreck. Bush was like a cross between Churchill and Spalding Gray in comparison.

    (Drinks in italics.)

  • ||

    Don't forget "speaking Austrian" and his grandmother being a "typical white person".

  • ||

    I enjoyed the speech he gave in Detroit ~"where the first automobile was made".

  • ||

    That is another good one. Damyler Benz, that great Detroit company.

  • ||

    At this point, I think bathtub liquor will do the trick

  • Ben||

    The more rotgut, the better.

  • ||

    Science, with these rules near beer will have you shit-faced!

  • ||

    It is my understanding that by tradition the President has to be invited to the House floor. Wouldn't it be great if the Republicans took the House next November and then refused to extend an invitation to the TOOTUS and killed this debacle for at least one year?

  • Old Mexican||

    "Blame Bush."

    Check.

    "Blame Bush some more."

    Check.

  • P B||

    Don't forget "folks".
    I am hoping for some words regarding adding 3 or 4 more justices on the Supreme Court, restarting the NRA, activating the Civilian Police Corps and naming himself the Maximus Leader for life.

  • skr||

    I like the Huffington Post drinking game better.

    HuffingtonPost SotU Drinking Game

    C'mon how can you not like the rule, "If Nancy Pelosi claps like a seal take a shot"
    That right there will get you sloshed.

  • Ska||

    If she starts barking, take two.

  • ||

    Pelosi won't be seal clapping too much. She's mad that Obama has ruined her run. I'd stick to the rules as set aforth.

  • skr||

    dude, it's Skeletor. She's an incumbent in California. She's not going anywhere.

    Which is unfortunate.

  • ||

    Drink every time he says "challenge" or some variation thereof, "the past eight years", "anger" or "frustraition". That should get you good and wasted but also keep you out of the emergency room.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Can anyone tell me, tonight if I start to feel a thrilling sensation running up my leg, does that mean I'm too taken with the President's speech, or that my liver is shutting down?

  • ||

    See a doctor immediately.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    AND EXACTLY WHO IS GOING TO PAY FOR THAT?

  • skr||

    No problem. The ER is the US version of universal health care.

  • ||

    The lead on Drudge is that Hillary is going to skip the State of the One Speech. Wow.

    After the Dems get destroyed in the the November elections, any bets on how long it takes for Hillary to resign and start her primary challange?

  • ||

    They are also saying that he is going to call for an end to "don't ask don't tell". Yeah, that is going to help his poll numbers.

  • ||

    what - going back to barring homosexuals? He really is 'authentically black' after all...

  • brotherben||

    He's just calling for an end to the name "don't ask, don't tell." He wants to call it "bein on the down-low."

  • Amakudari||

    It's "keep it on the down-low," or KIOTDL. Pronounced "coital".

  • Warty||

    One of my prouder achievements is that I have never listened to a president for more than a few seconds. I'm not about to ruin that just to get shitfaced.

  • ||

    Good plan. I can't imagine listening to this speech. I mean honestly, what the hell does anyone think he is going to say that is so important? I never watch these things. I hate them. I never watched any of Bush's or Reagan's and I liked them. Why the hell would I watch this smug asshole?

  • ||

    Why the hell would I watch this smug asshole?

    He's not all that smug, lately. ;-)

    -jcr

  • Slap the Enlightened!||

    Wonder if he'll announce this?

  • ||

    You LIE!

    ... sorry, just practicing.

    -jcr

  • Kevin||

    I'll be chugging to "Let me be clear!"

  • ||

    does anyone know if this live blog will work on an archos device? it runs on opera if that matters. i know there are a lot of smart people around here, let me know! thqnks and happy drinking!

  • ||

    Does it enable flash? I think coveritlive uses flash. There are non flash versions though.

  • ||

    the banner at the top of the page works. that is flash right?

  • ||

    What is he, really? Easy. His speeches are sermons for people that don't go to church. It's why the lefties find him so facinating - they don't know anyone who speaks like him. THe rest of us here his "spiel" every weekend...

  • ||

    Yeah, that's right, I can spell 'spiel' , but not 'hear'...

  • Ghost of Schrödinger's cat||

    they say the speech will be 70-75 minutes long!

  • ||

    I think you mean ((((((((70 to 75 MINUTES LONG))))))!!!!

    Try it that way.

  • ||

    Rule #1: Never run out of Colt 45.
    Rule #2: Never forget rule #1.

  • ||

    I didn't watch. Nor do I have any inclination to read the transcript - if I want to read fiction, I have a couple paperbacks on my nightstand.

    How many drinks, under Suderman's rules, was the speech?

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