Let Me Be Beer: Play Along With Reason’s Official 2011 SOTU Drinking Game

Another year, another State of the Union, that special time of year when the president of the United States America swipes a full hour of perfectly good prime-time to defend the stale political nonsense that defined the previous year—and preview all the fresh, new nonsense he’s planning for the year to come. 

Around Washington, you can almost smell the anticipatory hype, although that might just be because the sewer system is backed up. What’s the president selling? What’s the rest of Washington buying? Does anyone outside the Beltway care? Those who insist on tuning in to the boob-tube coverage of the president’s yearly rehearsal of old talking points and new worthless initiatives will likely find cable pundits focused on the following questions: What will he say? What should he say? What must he say?

Here at Reason, we’re more concerned with the question you really care about: When to drink? 

The only way to get through a speech like this is with booze in one hand and a “drink-when-he-says” checklist in the other. By the time it’s over, the state of your union will hopefully be more than a little inebriated. 

Here at Reason, we’ll be drinking to the following:

Feel free to drink in between, too, if you're so inclined. And be sure to follow along here at Hit & Run as Reason's editors live-blog the speech.

As always, this game comes with a disclaimer: Reason endorses drinking responsibly; how else will you know if the president is trying to pull one over on you?

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  • GILMORE||

    What do you mean, 'Drink in between'?
    .... that's the whole speech right there. I think this has gone past being a game and is just some kind of trick to get everyone to black out and forget what year it is.

  • Narcissist||

    But what do we do when the site crashes? It seems to be tottering on the brink...

  • Joe R.||

    Here's the rules to my SOTU drinking game: drink.

  • Southerner||

    It's kind of like P.J. O'Rourke's Carter Book Drinking Game. You just watch any part of the speech at random and boy, do you need a drink!

    Honestly, guys, it's not a good idea to go recommending suicide to your readers this way.

  • ||

    HEADLINES:
    Libertarians cause 100's of millions of alcohol poisoning deaths.
    Authorities said we may have escaped with just millions drinking themselves to death by drinking to the phrase "fiscally responsible" but the drinking phrases included the whole laundry list Obamaisms.
    The 238 Americans left alived pledged to be competitive, more civil, and invest in education. Immediately, 237 slit their own throats...

  • H man||

    how else will you know if the president is trying to pull one over on you?

    His lips are moving. That's how.

  • fish||

    I plan on passing out 2 minutes in based on these criteria!

    Salut!

  • ||

    I love Hit & Run, but I'm not watching the State of the Union, I'm not reading about it, I'm not listening to it, nor do I think anyone else should.

    Yes, boycott the bullshit! It's not like he's going to do anything useful or tell the truth. He'll freeze spending. . .oh, except he won't really. And so on.

  • Spiny Norman||

    But we can still drink, right?

  • Joe R.||

    You have discovered my plans. But how?!?!

  • ||

    This is dirty pool, tempting our frail and gullible minds with the thought of glass after glass of delicious and life-affirming beer. But, I'm with you ProL!

    :::shakes fist, orders beer:::

  • ||

    I have a simple alternative: Skip the speech and go drink instead! You'll be amazed how many bars won't show the speech at all! Or how many cable channels will ignore the entire "event", for those of you guzzling in the comfort of your own home.

    Boycott the Bullshit!

  • ||

    I'll be playing tennis. And then I'll have beer.

  • ||

    This, too, is an acceptable alternative to watching the stupid facade. Even if you mean to simply hit yourself in the head with the racket over and over again.

  • ||

    I'll be playing tennis.

    So that's what the kids call being a sociopathic cocksicle nowadays.

    Do you know who else played tennis?

    Grow up and watch the president, dick.

  • ||

    Do you know who else played tennis?

    John McEnroe? Wait...my god, what have I become? YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS

  • ||

    Two words douchebag: Andre Agassi.

  • ||

    Bjorn Borg, losers. THE Nazi of tennis.

  • Kolohe||

    Björn- unlike most hair bands, he earned his umlaut.

  • ||

    Do you know who else played tennis?

    Michelle Obama's identical (younger) cousin Serena Williams has been known to play.

  • concern troll is concerned||

    oooooh, that's racist.

  • ||

    Oh, yes, sorry.

  • ||

    I'll be playing tennis. And then I'll have beer.

    You big pussy. Drink beer while you play tennis.

    If it was good enough for John Candy, then goddamnit, it's good enough for you.

  • Max||

    I'll be playing tennis. And then I'll have beer.

    Does that mean jerking off or blowing ron pual?

  • Rock Action ||

    It really is sort of serendipitous that the UCONN Men's Semi-Professional Traveling All-Star Basketball team is playing Marquette at 9 tonight. I'll have beer and watch sports. Perfect.

  • ||

    Jared Sullinger and the rest of the Buckeyes will be on ESPN against Purdue as soon as this fucked-up UGA-UF game ends.

    O-H-...

  • Rock Action ||

    I would finish the rest of the Modest Mouse song, but I got no beef with Ohio.

    Apparently it was a blowout, and even Mr. Sullinger was making threes.

  • Mr. Soul||

    while I hate college BBall, a fellow Buckeye can't leave you hanging bro.... I-O!

  • Sam Grove||

    Take the list to a bar so everybody can join the fun.

  • GILMORE||

    In fact, the only thing people won't be drinking at is the ubiquitous (as noted), "let me be clear". Did your lawyers tell you to drop that one because a couple college kids died last year playing the game (presumably drinking FourLoko)?

  • ||

    HnR has apparently decided it needs a new class of commenters, and is trying to kill off the current group with alcohol poisoning.

  • Rock Action ||

    I'm somewhere in between a lightweight and Bukowski, and I was thinking I'd be nearly dead within twenty minutes, at best.

  • Max||

    You mean you ratfuckers post your crap sober?

    WTF

  • ||

    Weigel?

    Is that you?

  • Rock Action ||

    Almost never. Caffeine or booze. But did you see that drinking game? Shit, Max, your Mom would have to lug your shirtless ass out of some snowbank down the street from where you live.

  • ¢||

    There are some who say that whenever Obama sets himself against the "folks" or "some" "there are" "out there" or "in Washington" "who say" something no one has ever said anywhere, folks should do a shot.

    I think we and/or America can do and/or be better.

  • ||

    The staff at Reason will be in the ER tonight around 9:45 pm EST.

  • Kolohe||

    Isn't it called Grey's Anatomy now?

  • Almanian||

    Sasha Greay's Anatomy.

    Oh, wait, that's PPV....

  • ||

    link, please.

  • Mike M.||

    And another one any time the tragedy in Tucson gets mentioned.

  • ||

    How about the president drinks every time he says one of those words? The speech would likely be much much shorter!

  • ||

    I hear that he's a fiscally conservative drunk.

  • ||

    Jesus Christ Suder-Man, you might as well just have us drink to every chalkboard-scratchingly annoying and unfunny moment on Family Guy.

  • ||

    ^^This!!!^^

  • ||

    Remember the time I posted ^^This!!!^^ at Reason?

    Cue tired, worn out, and totally expected flashback of me posting said comment, dressed as Ruth Buzzy.

    Cut to an angry monkey.

    Meg sucks.

  • -||

    SOTU Drinking Game

    What happened to the "A" in the State of the Union Address? Did all the pundits get together and agree to drop it?

  • Rock Action ||

    Their rigid insistence on keeping with the two syllable, Nantucket-esque Soccer Mom cuteness of SCOTUS, POTUS, and the rest?

  • -||

    Will the POTUS mention Soscurity?

  • Rock Action ||

    Maybe, and he might even mention the SCOTUS and the Com Clause.

    Which kinda sounds and acts like Santa if you're a good lefty.

    And if that's an old joke, sorry.

  • ||

    Hey, check this out. Sotua is Masai for "time of peace."

  • ||

    It's also English for "waste of your fucking time." I think.

  • ||

    I believe that is correct.

  • ||

    How 'bout we drink when the server squirrels fuck up the site function during the live-blog?

    That is even more certain than Obama lying his ass off.

  • thundersnow||

    hubby bringing home a new bottle of Knob Creek for the occasion.

  • MNG||

    What a political culture we have.

    For the past few days the news netorks have been all "what's he going to say? how's he going to say it? what should he say?

    Then he will get up and give a long, boring, phoney speech.

    Then for the next few days it will be "did you hear what he said? did you like what he said? what should/shouldn't he have said?"

    Sometimes I think we deserve to be overrun by Giant Intelligent Space Ants.

  • ||

    I'm just amazed at how interested people are in absolute irrelevancies these days. People will go on and on and on about trivia. In fact, not only will they drone, they'll drone on without ever reaching the truth, even about the mundane nonsense they're dwelling upon.

  • Honest Abe||

    We fetishize political power. We obsess over Hollywood actors. We compensate for our own shallow, obscure lives by commenting on blogs. We suck.

  • ||

    It's funny how you project your shitty, useless life onto everyone else. But you're right; you do suck.

  • ||

    Oh, please. Like we take this seriously. My grandfather played solitaire when he was bored. I comment on a blog. Not quite the same as obsessing over total trivia and meaningless nonsense.

  • ||

    ^this^

  • ||

    I always think that DC needs to be run over by Giant Intelligent Space Ants. In a meteor.

  • ||

    Goddamnit. Can you wait until I go home from work before this happens?

  • Almanian||

    I think we deserve to get it even from the dumb space ants

  • ||

    "The only good bug is a dead bug."

    "Would you like to learn more?"

  • ||

    You kill bugs good.

  • ||

    "Sometimes I think we deserve to be overrun by Giant Intelligent Space Ants."

    You're just saying that because you think they'll vote against Palin! But wait 'til they start dropping all their anchor babies...!

  • ||

    Well, this poster was...possibly a little hasty earlier and would like to...reaffirm his allegiance to this country and its human president. May not be perfect, but it's still the best government we have. For now.

  • Sam Grove||

    Feel free to drink in between, too, if you're so inclined.

    That could induce hypoxia.

  • Almanian||

    Of god, no, Teh Nooz is showing who's sitting with whom.

    It truly is high school - "OMG! Did you see Julie was sitting next to Tommy! She sooooo hated him last week! OMG! And Jeff is sitting with Jennifer - as IF! Teeeeeheeheeheehee!!"

    Doooooooooooomed I say.....

  • Almanian||

    I'm gonna start drinking now, while I'm still sober. Everyone have fun!

  • ||

    The link titled "fiscally responsible" (re health care reform) is broken; it points to some internal linky that only super duper admin types can see.

  • gnut||

    www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTxINWXNrPA

    Beer, beer, beer. I'm going for a beer.

    Beer, beer, beer. I'm gonna drink some beer.

    I like drinking beer.

    Lovely, lovely beer.

  • ||

    Beer, Beer, Beer, Beer
    Lovely Beer! Wonderful Beer!

  • Tman||

    Unemployment at 9%, my health care premiums doubled and somehow I'm paying more back to the IRS this year than I did the last few despite not seeing a proportional rise in income.

    Anecdotal it may be, but fuck this guy. I'm not interested at what he has to say unless it involves him resigning to let a monkey run the economy for a while. We couldn't do any worse.

    Didn't we have a monkey before this guy? Let's give it back to the monkey.

  • RyanXXX||

    RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • ||

    VIOLENT RHETORIC!!!

  • Tman||

    Dead monkeys everywhere. Which, means Cornelius and Planet of the Apes, so win-win, from a libertarian perspective, right?

  • hurly buehrle||

    I just opened a nice Byron pinot noir and am cooking dinner. I have no intention of watching this dreck, but Godspeed everyone!

  • Almanian||

    Tosh.0 and trolling Reason while doing shots? What's not to like?!

  • Law Student||

    The curse of the dvr, I can't use tosh.0 as an excuse.

  • Law Student||

    Fuck, I'm already sick of these egotistical motherfuckers. Shut up, sit down and get this over with.
    reply to this

  • Law Student||

    oops copypasted the replytothis

  • ||

    I thought that it was a dare.

  • ||

    reply to this

    To this.

    [rimshot]

  • ziggy||

    Funny how he wants more innovation yet more government regulation that only hinders innovation...

  • RyanXXX||

    Real funny. Like a tumor

  • Born-Again Barack||

    Another shot for God and Prayer.

  • ||

    Did anyone else have a Sputnik Moment tonight?

    Christ.

  • Bucky||

    not the first time i've ever seen a prez
    talk out of both sides...
    but this unconvincingly?
    all those that clapped, didn't think that you would turn out looking like the wind-up monkey...didja?

  • Bingo||

    Both sides of his ass?

  • NHLJersey||

    two most popular players
    ed belfour Jersey
    carey price Jersey

  • me||

    I drank a shot of Cutty Sark Scotch whiskey every time Obama said "we" and then I click on the link above a bought a 900 NHL hockey jerseys.

  • Xeones||

    Good lord. Anyone who played by these rules last night is dead now. Great job, Reason.

  • Rather||

    If you were too drunk to follow the live blog

    The first annual RandyAyndy Awards

  • ||

    If I were to play by these rules, would I even have a chance to stop drinking and breath?

  • Mr. Soul||

    the Guinness will undoubtedly make the SOTU better, but the SOTU will undoubtedly make the Guinness worse.

    My drinking game is every time the glass hits the table..drink!

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