Aerosmith's Steven Tyler: Prude Looks Like a Lady, Wants FCC to Police Indecency on the TV

As the Supreme Court wrassles with the issue of whether "indecency" even exists as a legal category (short version: it shouldn't) and whether the Federal Communications Commission has the right to regulate such speech, Aerosmith frontman and plastic surgery cautionary tale Steven Tyler has got something to say. He doesn't want broadcast TV (and presumably radio) to become a sewer filled with the cuss words and the nudity.

Says the 63-going-on-150 year-old, who has cursed several times on air as a judge for American Idol:

"There's a certain charm and passion and magic in not showing full-frontal nudity" or using constant profanity, Tyler said, as the high court prepared to take up a First Amendment case on the regulation of the airwaves.

"It's really hot when you only show a little," he said.

"If you start surfing channel to channel and you're on NBC and it's (expletive) and channel 4 and it's (expletive) and channel 7 and it's (expletive), it wouldn't be fun to surf," he said. Besides, he said, where's the creativity? A pun about an "American Idol" contestant's revealingly short outfit may be fun — "Here's to looking up your old address," offered Tyler — but the use of blunt language "turns it into something crass."

Recall the instances that triggered the whole stupid argument - Janet Jackson's nipple; Cher, Bono, and Nicole Richie using "fleeting" profanity; some buttocks on NYPD Blue - and boy is this a stupid discussion to be having in a world of ubiquitous porn and online everything.

More here.

Hat Tip: Reader John Seetch.

For Aerosmith fans only (and even then, I'm not sure): The boyz circa 1977 performing "Big 10 Inch...Record"

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  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    Another aging baby boomer who gobbled up all the freedom he wanted, but now wants to shut my freedom down. I'm guessing he's going to go full WoD soon, too.

  • Tonio||

    ^THIS

  • ¢||

    Soon? Too late, yo.

    He's the star of one of those "drug courts reduce crime" PSAs, along with the still-living dude from Alice in Chains, the hat guy from Limp Biscuit (sic), and a bunch of other shriveled old rock-sacs no one remembers.

    When I saw it, I figured they were all doing the ad as part of their drug-related criminal sentences, because it's all famous-for-doing-drugs guys who are obviously high and/or drunk all the time (though they tend to say they're not). But I looked it up, and it turns out they're all just assholes who love it when you face financial ruin and/or jail for stuff they all get away with.

    ROCK

  • Coeus||

    If there were any justice, from here on out they'd get a mouthfull of santorum everytime they take a bong rip.

  • ||

    How much do I need to give to have you never show that picture ever again?

  • ||

    Just think, you'll get to watch it slowly crawl down the main blog page too.

  • sarcasmic||

    This one's got two picks of his moobs.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....liday.html

  • Copernicus||

    After seeing that pic, I wish he had moobs. Dude looks like a lady (tits-wise).

  • Doctor Whom||

    That picture is indecent and should therefore be regulated by the FCC. Children can see his huge moobs and the countours of something else that isn't so huge. Won't someone please think of the children?

  • Steven Tyler||

    I do think of the children. Every time I wank.

    I'll be in my bunk.

  • SFC B||

    After I realized that Liv Tyler is his daughter that one Aerosmith video with her in it took on a whole new level of awful.

  • H man||

    Let's see the Coase theorem on this one. And this is why the manzier was invented.

  • ||

    Bro!

  • H man||

    Nah, too ethnic.

  • GrizzlyAdam||

    That's the worst photo of Liv Tyler I've ever seen.

  • Invisible Finger||

    Probably what Liv will look like when she's 63 though.

  • Spiny Norman||

    That photo's the stick to Lobster Girl's carrot. I'll bet we'll be seeing it again in December.

  • ||

    WTF Nick? Really?

  • BakedPenguin||

    Marijuana is an anti-emetic. I think it's meant as a subtle boost to Gary Johnson's campaign.

  • sarcasmic||

    Get that man a bra! Stat!

  • RedDragon6009||

    I'm jealous; his tits are way bigger than mine.

  • Lord Humungus||

    I once dated a woman with smaller breasts than that.

  • ||

    How big was her penis?

  • Abdul||

    If it's smaller than her Adam's apple, you should make her put a disclaimer on her craigslist ads.

  • Utah Fleming||

    "It's really hot when you only show a little," he said.

    Then "showing a little" had better be fucking banned.

  • ||

  • ||

    Maybe this is where Cosmo got their panties as hair tie tip from. Is that less weird/gross than it seems to me?

  • ||

    As long as she didn't poop or bleed in them, it's A-OK.

    I'm more than a little disappointed to learn that you read Cosmo, though.

  • ||

    Don't worry. That little tidbit of information made its way into my brainhole via my masochistic viewing of Jezebel. They were bitching about Cosmo for the man-pleasing angle. It's a complex and perverse media diet, I know.

    They did come up with some wacky Cosmo tips, however. The other hair-accessory-related one was I believe to apply a scruchie to the base of the penis.

  • ||

    Worst. Cock. Ring. Evar.

  • ||

    Just as one shouldn't insert things into oneself that haven't been designed for that specific purpose, one should not tie things to one's little buddy that have not been designed for that specific purpose.

  • ||

    I don't really find it gross, but it's really not a turn-on as such. All it really says is "I'm too dumb to keep a scrunchy in my purse."

  • ||

    Scrunchies haven't made it to Czechland yet, you insensitive clod. Their whores have to improvise.

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    Is that less weird/gross than it seems to me?

    If you eat a Mentos and smile knowingly after you do it, it's totally okay.

  • ||

    Something like 70% of the world's hotties live here. Keep it under your hat.

  • ||

    Actually that chick is speaking Czech with a strong accent. I'm guessing Hungarian, but it could be Italian.

  • ||

    Wait, are you telling me that Hungary actually exists? Next you'll tell me that Krampus is real.

  • ||

    I just said that Hungarian accents possibly exist.

  • ||

    Actually, she seems to be an ethnic Hungarian born in Slovakia. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2200755/

  • Tman||

    You know I've seen several versions of the ole "panties in to a hair tie" commercial yet I have never ever seen a woman use this method so efficiently.

    We should put together a public service announcement or something.

  • Brett L||

    Now seen. Thanks for that.

  • Paul||

    Ok, so I get this story is about Steven Tyler, but who's the old topless european hag in the picture? What's the connection?

  • The Other Kevin||

    That's Janet Reno. Now that she is retired, she just hangs around topless beaches.

  • Lord Humungus||

    MIND-PURGE needed.

  • T||

    I hate you so very, very much right now..

  • H man||

    FTW,

    now I'll just go throw up in my mouth a little.

  • Sky Captain Au H20||

    Kevin, you just microaggressed the shit out of my brain

  • ||

    Alt-text win for the Jacket.

  • ||

    Complaining about the title of this article/alt text and how damaging these kinds of jokes are to the self-esteem of the un-gracefully aging would be a good topic for a microaggression submission. But surely even those whiners will understand that The Jacket tolerates no such weakness.

  • ||

    I applaud Nick for showing us this disgusting picture. Disgusting pictures should be a greater staple in H&R's arsenal of classlessness and bad taste.

  • ||

    You just gave me a brilliant idea.

    *runs off to make Tubgirl water fountains*

  • Brett L||

    That is so fucking wrong. I will support you on Kickstarter if I can send a couple anonymously to people at their work.

  • T||

    I'll donate if it ensures I never recieve one.

  • Brett L||

    Well, I think we've got a complete business model.

  • ||

    Step 1: threaten people with disgusting images
    Step 2: ???
    Step 3: PROFIT

  • Brett L||

    No, set up an internet auction site where you can bid to send your friends/enemies/family tubgirl water fountains OR bid to have one NOT sent to you. First one to $200 wins. I'll bet I could make $200k without making more than one fountain or mailing any.

  • ||

    COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE
    COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE
    COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE

    (for robc)

  • Brett L||

    Hey, I could let the prices float, but I'd rather be paid to do nothing, so I'm going to bias in that direction. "Equilibrium" is where I send out about 1/week to keep the do-nothing money coming in.

  • T||

    There's actually a charity donation model that works exactly like this. You seed it with, say, the board members of the organization. Each person gives up $10 and three names. The $10 buys your safety and gets the the three people a raffle ticket. The prize is a live goat. You then approach the three people and hit them up for $10 and three names. Repeat until drawing time, when somebody who didn't hand out the protection money gets the actual goat. You only have to show up at somebody's house with a goat once and word gets around.

  • ||

    Word gets out that goats are delicious?

  • Priestess||

    But what if you actually want a goat? And what if everyone knows you want the goat? The only one who would pay is my husband cause he doesn't want me to have a goat.

  • ||

    "I [bleeped] the business model."

  • Hello||

    Anyang!

  • jasno||

    Water? Why not a chocolate fountain? I hear they're popular at weddings nowadays.

  • ||

    Tubgirl fondue kits. Yes. Yes, this will do.

  • Jack the Reaper||

    Fuck you for making me google tubgirl. I am now scarred forever.

  • Brett L||

    So, uh, really? You made it to 2012 without knowing that.

  • kinnath||

    I don't know, and I ain't gonna go look either.

  • T||

    Smart man.

  • ||

    Yup. I've added it to "goatse" and "two girls one cup" on my list of internet memes to avoid for my entire life. Never seen any of them, and hopefully never will.

  • Jack the Reaper||

    Why yes. Yes I did. There are some things I just don't go looking for.

    Except this once. Which proved my model of not looking for nasty shit on the internets because you WILL find it.

  • Pip||

    I agree.

    I also think that now that Facebook tells your friends what you like, it is incumbant upon everyone to "like" the most disturbing shit they can find on the Internet.

    e.g., Pip likes wheelchairmidgetporn.com

  • SFC B||

    I don't know what sick fuck decided to add facebook "like" buttons to various porn sites. But I appreciate their sense of humor and desire to sow chaos.

  • Jerry||

    You know who Tyler should team up with, Chuck Schumer!

  • ||

    They could rub their moobs together, all sweaty and slippery, darting in and out and around each other, nipple hair entwining in a tender embrace of sweaty bro-love...

  • ||

    See, Nick? We need pictures to go with NutraSweet's "prose"!

  • Tman||

    For the love of god....

  • BakedPenguin||

    How about them both in one of Warty's fountains? The Internet video is sure to go viral.

  • Brett L||

    If by "viral" you mean that everyone who sees it will vomit, absolutely.

  • ||

    They could rub their moobs together . . .

    I bet you were typing that with one hand, you sick freak!

  • ||

    I bet you read it with one hand, so what's the problem?

  • ||

    I bet you read it with one hand

    And your point?

  • ||

    My point is: Don't orphan the balls.

  • ||

    What do you tihnk this is, amateur hour? This isn't the fist semi-nude photo of Steven Tyler I've run across, I'll have you know.

  • Ska||

    I guess using "come across" would have been crass.

  • ||

    I guess using "come across" would have been crass.

    Hey, I'm not trying to get myself banned here!

  • ||

    If it were possible to get banned, He Who Shall Not Be Named would not be periodically gamboling through the threads.

  • Restoras||

    You mean...the...ovine fornicator?

  • H man||

    My eyes, My eyes, make it stop. I confess I shot the sheriff and the deputy. I was the man on the grassy knoll. I kidnapped the Linburgh baby. Make It Stop.

  • El Commentariosa||

    Don't forget Barney Frank

  • Pope Jimbo||

    Two Dicks - Four D-cups?

  • ||

    You know who Tyler should team up with, Chuck Schumer!

    Yeah, for a wet t-shirt contest.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Does anyone channel surf in the age of digital cable? Onscreen program guides tell you what you're in for.

    While I was hoping, when Showtime was rumored to be picking up the cancelled Arrested Development, that they would, I also hoped they would keep the bleeps in place. Those were hilarious.

    Having said all that nothing, Tyler can hope broadcasters voluntarily self-censor without advocating enforcement. If he said he was for actual regulation in the article, I missed it.

  • Brett L||

    I do, but its just ADD and shit for programming and needing to change my focal length from 24" (staring at computer) to 8' for a while.

  • ||

    Seconded on the bleeps on AD. The best example that immediately comes to mind is the extended bleeping of Buster's rant about Lucille, because you honestly didn't know what the fuck they were bleeping and could imagine whatever craziness you wanted.

    God, I hope the new episodes don't suck.

  • BakedPenguin||

    New episodes? Srsly?

  • ||

    Oh yeah, baby. Trying not to get too excited, failing.

  • BakedPenguin||

    And straight on to Netflix. I'm not going to have to wait 8 months for them to come out on DVD.

  • Profesional Critic||

    Sorry, I just blue myself prematurely.

  • ||

    For the record, I prefer the radio edit of Anthrax's "I'm the Man" to the original version (though it's probably a combination of me hearing that version first and the fact that they use Warner Brothers-style sound effects to bleep out the swearing).

  • Russ 2000||

    Wait, Anthrax does MORE Joe Jackson covers?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    "Well, no one's gonna top that."

  • ||

    I'm intrigued by Netflix producing its own content now. Lillyhammer looks like it could be fun.

  • Brett L||

    So we're going to get an eye-cleansing Lobster Girl pic on the evening links, right? RIGHT??

  • ||

    Click my link above.

  • Brett L||

    No youtube at work :(

  • ||

    Find a way.

  • ||

    Imagine they invented a hotter, whoreier, Czech Christina Hendricks, and imagine her playing pool.

  • Brett L||

    Pulling out iPhone and going on break.

  • ||

    Do they have bunks at your job?

  • Brett L||

    No, and my truck is in the shop. I had to go for a walk.

  • ||

    Yes, that was cleansing.

  • ||

    Janet Reno sings for Aerosmith?

  • Loki||

    I didn't think it was possible for someone that skinny to have bitch tits.

  • np||

    WTF is wrong these people... Frank Zappa needs to rise from the dead to school this fool.

  • Mike M.||

    How did you guys at Reason manage to find a picture of Shrike?

  • ||

    +1,000 intertubes

  • ||

    Get a grip people.

    Please note that nowehere in his quote did he say "the government should restrict TV broadcasters from allowing profanity" only that he thinks it would be crass.

    He's absolutely right, I don't want my TV full of foul language either. But that doesn't equate to wanting the high-and-mighty FCC control everything.

  • np||

    "I have (cursed on air) a couple times, because it is 2012," Tyler said. But an occasional swear word is different than a stream of them, which he suggested could happen without rules and wouldn't be something he welcomes.

    Well his testimony basically amounts to an endorsement because nowhere did he put in a caveat saying "while this is what I feel, I absolutely don't want the FCC to restrict any of what I've mentioned"

  • ||

    No one cares what you want, nor should you care what we want. If a show is full on Andrew Dice Clay and people are disgusted, and no one watches, guess what? It gets no advertising, no viewers, and goes off the air.

    I'd prefer shows like Deadwood, early Entourage, Sopranos, Oz, True Blood, Dexter, etc than most of the sanitized stuff on the "public" networks any day of the week thank you very much.

  • rather||

  • Jeff||

    What the fuck is up with your diseased eye?

  • ||

    Just ignore her.

  • rather||

    Warty, you promised to incif me last year; please be the gentleman your mommy hoped you would be, and honor your word

  • rather||

    I'm sorry Jeff, I don't read Aspie; please clarify

  • Jeff||

    I'm referring to that hideous eyeball avatar of yours. It's unnerving as fuck. Is that your eye, and if so, are you some kind of mong or what?

  • rather||

    to each his own

  • Jeff||

    So... yes?

  • rather||

    "It's unnerving as fuck"

    I don't wish to damage your mental equanimity

    incif me too

  • GILMORE||

    I sometimes wonder exactly what it is that is driving the baby-boomer "decency"-panic; internet porns? insane clown posse? testicle-eating, FEAR FACTOR type shows?

    Because I've never seen anything so 'indecent' on TV that it caused me to bat an eye. Granted, I hardly watch TV and haven't had cable for 10yrs... but I find it hard to imagine American broadcasting has decended into exploitative Paedogeddon. Is there an All-Felching 24hour channel I missed? "Two Girls = One Channel"? America's Funniest Animal-Abuse?

    What I find most indecent about public broadcasting is how stupid they treat people. which is why I find myself mostly watching history-channel(aka ALL NAZIS, ALL THE TIME!) clips on the internet instead of receiving ritual intellectual abuse at the hands of some new sitcom.

    (end snob rant)

    Seriously though, I'd totally watch full contact/to the death Rollerball/ 'Running Man' type-TV. Or "MasterPorn Theatre".

  • Sparky||

    but I find it hard to imagine American broadcasting has decended into exploitative Paedogeddon

    Disney Channel = Let's see how many 10 year olds we can dress up like whores.

  • Steven Spielberg||

    By 10 they're all whores.

  • Roman Polanski||

    Tell me about it.

  • Roman Polanski||

    Watch for my new Disney series next fall, "Not Unresponsive". It involves the adventures of the students of Jack Nicholson Middle School and... well, you'll have to tune in to find out the rest!

  • Pip||

    "Is there an All-Felching 24hour channel I missed?"

    Channel 879.

  • Jeff||

    MSNBC is channel 39 here.

  • Kromulent Kristen||

    I watch a metric asston of TV and have never seen anything approaching peak offensiveness. Other than MSNBC and Fox News, that is.

  • ||

    I sometimes wonder exactly what it is that is driving the baby-boomer "decency"-panic

    They're getting old and shrivelled up. Since they don't enjoy it any more, no one should.

  • GILMORE||

    +1

    I think that is probably the most plausible explanation.

    That or, just the ubiquitous, "ITS OK WHEN *WE* DO IT!" thing. "Kids these days couldn't possibly grow up normal with internet porn...weed....video games....comedy central..."*

    (*basically, anything half-decent)

  • Teenage Girl||

    Eewww!!

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