To Be Fair, I Bet Working at the SEC Is Pretty Boring

ABC's Jonathan Karl reports that an investigation by the Securities and Exchange Commission's inspector general recently nabbed 31 of the agency's employees, including 17 "senior SEC officers with salaries ranging from $100,000 to $222,000 per year," for browsing Internet porn during work hours (links added so you can exercise proper SEC oversight):

The Securities and Exchange Commission is supposed to be the sheriff of the financial industry, looking for financial crimes like Bernard Madoff's Ponzi scheme. But the new report, obtained by ABC News, says senior employees of the SEC spent hours on the commission's computers looking at sites like, skankwire, [and] youporn...

One senior attorney at SEC headquarters in Washington spent up to eight hours a day accessing Internet porn. When he filled all the space on his government computer with pornographic images, he downloaded more to CDs and DVDs that accumulated in boxes in his offices.

An SEC accountant attempted to access porn websites 1,800 times in a two-week period and had 600 pornographic images on her computer hard drive.

Another SEC accountant attempted to access porn sites 16,000 times in a single month.

In one case, the report said, an employee tried hundreds of times to access pornographic sites and was denied access. When he used a flash drive, he successfully bypassed the filter to visit a "significant number" of porn sites.

The employee also said he deliberately disabled a filter in Google to access inappropriate sites. After management informed him that he would lose his job, the employee resigned.

He probably quit to take a job at Morality in Media.

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  • The Expatriate||

    An SEC accountant attempted to access porn websites 1,800 times in a two-week period and had 600 pornographic images on her computer hard drive.


  • TP||

    Sure about that? She could be a big ol' Diesel.

  • ||

    LOL. Thank you for pointing that out.

  • spencer||

    that's why i was going to comment too

  • Playa Manhattan||

    "600 pornographic images on her computer hard drive"

    On "her" hard drive? This has to be a typo....

  • alan||

    It astounds me still that there are plenty of women who don't know they can stand at a door frame of her office and quip, 'hey you, get in here' for a much more full filling experience than right clicking on porn.

    Guys, too, tend to over think it.

  • alan||

    Apologies for the noun verb nonagreement. There were two versions of that sentence, and when forced together they became an abomination much like that fly and that scientist in the teleportation chamber.

  • Colin||

    I knew a chick in college who was addicted to porn.

    I read something years ago that said more women watch than men, and that's why the male actors suddenly got better looking.

  • Penetrating observation||

    Colin, I didn't notice "the male actors suddenly got better looking." How astute of you!

  • Ghost of Schrödinger's cat||

    but they all have to start out in gay porn.

  • fish||

    C'mon, its like the cactus league!

  • Porn Neophyte||

    I'd rather start at the bush league.

  • .||

    They clipped that league years ago.

  • C Harm||

    no, some of them are still being groomed.

  • .||

    They're always being sent down.

  • Not a bad thing||

    less money but more time to practice.

  • Porn Neophyte||

    I love you.

  • siren||

    Neophytes are always too impressionable

  • Nothing wrong with starting ||

    at the bottom

  • Windypundit||

    An accountant tried to access porn 1800 times in 2 weeks? That seems like too many times, even for a porn freak, especially if "tried" means the firewall blocked it. Given the way way investigors mishandled the Jumlie Amero case, I wouldn't be surprised if some of these turn out to be the result of malware infestations.

  • Jordan||

    Agreed. That would be more than one attempt every 3 minutes (assuming a 40 hour work week).

  • ||

    Given the technological savvy of the investigators' IT people (in the Amero case), I wouldn't be surprised at anything.

  • aaron||

    That's nothing compared to his colleague in the next paragraph who was apparently trying to access porn every minute and a half, all day long, for an entire month! And they say government workers are lazy.

  • Lloyd Blankfein||

    Why do you think it is only a civil fraud case?

  • Windypundit||

    Frackin' typos. That's Julie Amero.

  • Mike||

    Fuck the SEC. Big Ten for life.

  • AA||

    PAC 10

  • Mike||

    Rose Bowl rules. Can we agree?

  • ||

    You guys are just jealous. Bama!

  • ||


  • ||

    Haha! Yeah, the MWC! Maybe Harvey Unga could get a job with the SEC...

  • sage||





  • ||

    Accountants are a freaky bunch. I'm surprised there's not more green visor/adding machine fetish porn. If this is an unfilled niche (pun intended), I'm sure plenty of us could be persuaded to give up the glamour of tax and audit.

  • KWebb||

    If it exists, there is porn of it.

    If there is not porn of it, there soon will be.

  • Ghost of Schrödinger's cat||

    It's known as Rule 34

  • ||

    Truth in this statement there is. I dated an accountant and yikes, she was quite the sexual velociraptor.

  • Maverick||

    I married one . . .

  • ||

    ROTFL, another slap in the face to the American Sheeple!


  • ||


  • TP||

    Jesus Christ. Are you fucking kidding me? We're doomed, fucking doomed.

    ...recently nabbed 31 of the agency's employees,

    Isn't that the same number of employees they sent to Lehman? Coincidence? What's the timeline on this?

    Oh, and YouPorn sucks. Try this for streaming porn.

    and their sister station

  • Colin||

    I love how Sullum puts in the links to the porn sites.

    Only at Reason.

  • *||

    Yes, but how disappointing is it that skankwire didn't work!?

  • ||

    I think it is supposed to be Spankwire.

  • ||

    OTOH, while those 31 SEC employees were looking at porn, they were NOT regulating.

  • Chris||

    I think you're on to something here.

  • Paul||

    We need to get Democrats back to being the party of Hustler.

  • ||

    Those are three of the lamest porn sites I've ever seen. I was prepared to stick up for the offending agents, but this only increases my contempt for the SEC. Fucking overpaid government jerks. Can't even do internet porn right. That's got to be the most incompetency I've heard of since Clinton said he was too stupid to get high.

  • ||

    yeah it's spankwire.

    I, uh, heard it from a friend.

  • Old Bull Lee||

    Watch our for that one, it launched some malware at me as soon as the page came up.

  • ||

    Hmmm, that's never happened to... my friend. Are you sure it wasn't just a harmless pop-up?

  • Old Bull Lee||

    sorry, watch OUT

  • ||

    Also, something doesn't seem right here...

    16000 times a month is 762 times every workday...

  • .||

    And you know he wasn't coming in on weekends.

  • Butts Wagner||

    too bad there was no typo in here about "coming on weekends"

  • .||

    My emission.

  • Type O||

    You failed with your omission on his emissions?

  • gucci||
    Dear friends welcome to our website: we have a specail offer now which is once you buy any product you can get a free gift as well, these gifts are in the gift area, you can free to choose and please add to the shopping cart, we will send it together with your purchased product. Thanks!

  • Joe Biden||

    Nuh uh! Fool me once...

  • ||

    I have a friend who works for the USGS who can't even view most links I send him. No youtube, no onion, no nothing if the front page has some naughty words on it.

  • Some Guy||

    And these are the guys who are filing a lawsuit against Goldman Sachs? Yeesh. Don't worry, America, it's government agencies like the SEC that always have your best interests at heart. They're fighting for the little guy.

  • Dr Duck||

    Yeah, the little guy in the boat.

  • the sheep's vote||


    "Hey K Fed, the little guy in the boat -- he's up here." - Hank Moody

  • Slut Bunwalla||

    I think from now on we should refer to masturbation as "going to work for the SEC" or something along those lines.

  • Katoblephas||

    I'll stop reading this now! I prefer to spend my time "going to work for the SEC"


  • Paul||

    I think from now on we should refer to masturbation as "going to work for the SEC"

    Or "reforming things financial" could be a refrain.

  • Paul||

    Or no... no... "I've got a long position" might be better.

  • mark||

    Massaging the numbers, between the balance sheets...

  • Paul||

    People who make six figures are different.

  • ||

    xvideos and tube8 are good sites


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