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Candy-Colored Meth Dreams
Last week Sens. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa) and Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) reintroduced a bill aimed at combating a new drug menace that, as far as anyone can tell, does not actually exist: candy-flavored meth. The Saving Kids from Dangerous Drugs Act, a.k.a. "the candy-flavored meth bill," would automatically double penalties for anyone who "manufactures, creates, distributes, or possesses with intent to distribute a controlled substance that is flavored, colored, packaged or otherwise altered in a way that is designed to make it more appealing to a person under 21 years of age, or who attempts or conspires to do so." Grassley explains why this legislation is urgently needed:
It's disturbing that drug dealers are trying to lure teens and young kids by flavoring drugs to taste like candy. This latest craze needs to be dealt with before it's too late....The legislation that Senator Feinstein and I have introduced should make drug dealers think twice about selling candy flavored drugs to our kids.
The only problem with this explanation is that the fiendish pushers luring children into a lifetime of addiction with strawberry-flavored speed appear to be little more than figments of Grassley and Feinstein's drug-fevered imaginations. To be fair, a lot of people have imagined these monsters, but none of them has produced a real-life specimen. In a June 2007 story, "Meth Ado About Nothing?," for the drug policy site Join Together, Bob Curley reported:
Both the DEA and the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy told Join Together that they have not been able to identify a single confirmed seizure of flavored meth....
Experts say that there's a real possibility that local police are confusing colored meth—which is relatively common—with flavored meth. Tom McNamara, a meth trainer and special-projects coordinator for the Southern Illinois Drug Task Force Group, told Join Together that meth made from Sudafed or some generic versions of the drug will have a light-pink color because of the dye used in the pills. Moreover, he said, meth made from anhydrous ammonia treated with GloTell—a chemical marker designed to discourage thefts—will be bright pink. The drug also can appear greenish or blue.
"We've had that forever," said McNamara of colored meth, whereas his inquiries about flavored meth have yielded nothing.
Also check out Curley's sidebar, in which he asks a question that apparently never occurred to Grassley, Feinstein, and other politicians plagued by candy-colored nightmares: "Does 'Flavored Meth' Even Make Sense?" If Grassley and Feinstein had simply paid a visit to Snopes.com, they could have saved their staffs the trouble of writing this stupid bill. But as the Drug War Chronicle notes, they are proceeding "as if the debunking of the myth had never occurred." The Chronicle worries that their broadly worded legislation against a phantom menace could be used to arbitrarily increase the penalties of people who make or sell drugs that are deemed to be kid-targeted because of bright colors, cartoons, or whimsical names.
Mister DNA|1.26.09 @ 6:33PM|#
We need to do something about this before the alcohol industry follows the lead of meth manufacturers and starts producing peppermint-flavored liquors.
Elemenope|1.26.09 @ 6:33PM|#
This is pretty funny on two levels.
On one level, they're legislating against something that in all
probability does not exist, or exists at negligible levels.
On another, if it *did* exist, preventing it isn't actually that
onerous. It is a reasonable end of public policy to make candy
taste like candy and drugs taste like drugs. If drugs were passed
off as candy, that's not a good thing, as accidental dosing and
overdosing and so forth, as well as accidental child consumption,
would become more likely.
Of course, a reasonable public policy stance on this would be
helped along a bit by, you know, ending the war on drugs, so it
could be properly and (one hopes) lightly regulated.
So minus one to the idiots who wrote the bill, and minus one to the
libertarians who are bitching about it.
|1.26.09 @ 6:40PM|#
The only think I can think of that this law might apply to is I
remember a decade ago acid would sometimes have little pictures on
each hit. I forget what the pictures were but I suppose I could see
this law applying to someone who puts something cute on it (kitten,
balloon...etc). Stupid fucking law, but not a surprise since pretty
much all drug laws are stupid.
Though this does prevent me from making bubblegum flavored
crack........ :(
Mister DNA|1.26.09 @ 6:42PM|#
Wait till the government finds out why I drink a glass of pineapple juice every day.
Ska|1.26.09 @ 6:44PM|#
Yeah jayjay, most of the acid I got in high school and college had cartoon characters and the like, so you could ask for the Beavis & Butthead or the Xmen by name.
Some Guy|1.26.09 @ 6:46PM|#
I'm old enough to remember candy cigarettes. They came in a fake
pack and even had red dye at the ends to simulate that comforting
glow.
I miss freedom.
Some Guy|1.26.09 @ 6:48PM|#
Holy crap, they still sell them! But is it illegal to give them
to The Children™?
http://www.oldtimecandy.com/candy-cigarettes.htm
darkrail|1.26.09 @ 6:52PM|#
I think the "candy flavored" thing is a deliberate lie, just a
trojan horse allowing them to horrify parents and pass a law to
double EVERYONE'S sentence. Here's why:
At my favorite medical marijuana dispensary, they make full-color
stickers for the pill bottles that the weed comes in. For instance,
the "Morning Star" that I smoked last night had a picture of a
cartoony rock star girl, while the "Skywalker" I smoked last week
had an image of Luke Skywalker looking out across a big green field
of cannabis.
While I don't use other drugs, I've heard that people label heroin
with different "brand names" so that the quality manufacturers can
get a good reputation and can charge more. Recently
thesmokinggun.com had pictures of some seized heroin branded
"Obama" in big pink letters.
Surely (as Jacob said) these things will all somehow fall under the
broad language of the law.
|1.26.09 @ 6:54PM|#
Hmm...it has never occurred to me to try to specifically market
my product to people that don't have any money or means to acquire
it! That 5-12 y.o. bracket is just waiting to be tapped!
I'm off to the lab!
|1.26.09 @ 7:02PM|#
At some point previously non-violent criminals will need to re-evaluate whether they should start carrying guns on the basis the penalty for getting caught for the petty crime is so great you may as well risk shooting your way out with the police.
Jerry|1.26.09 @ 7:05PM|#
@Some Guy
The puppy parliament in the EUSSR advised a ban on candy sigarettes
in 2002, luckily it was scrapped.
Elemenope|1.26.09 @ 7:10PM|#
The difference between this and "candy cigarettes" is that it is easy to tell just by looking at a candy cigarette that it is not the real thing (and good luck lighting the thing!)
Paul|1.26.09 @ 7:15PM|#
I also hear that some of these drugs make you high, making them
even more enticing after you've done them once.
I also heard that a combination of legislators consulting with the
environmental lobby are going to introduce a bill banning food that
tastes good due to the overwhelming obesity crisis.
cunnivore|1.26.09 @ 7:16PM|#
I see this as a win-win-win-win. Feinstein and Grassley get to
crow to their constituents that they are protecting the children,
and the population at large doesn't have their freedom restricted
at all (since the banned items don't, and probably never will,
exist).
If only we could develop more of these harmless outlets for
politicians' statist impulses!
SIV|1.26.09 @ 7:22PM|#
I have a vague recollection of reading about meth jawbreakers in Thailand several years ago with a warning that the stimulant candy was bound for the USA any day now.I have no idea if the speedy Siamese sugar spheres were common, apocryphal , or something in between.
|1.26.09 @ 7:25PM|#
I propose a Constitutional Amendment forbidding any government
official from using any reference to "Teh Children" in trying to
get a bill passed.
Do they think we're that gulli....oh crap, nevermind.
|1.26.09 @ 7:26PM|#
Seriously,
If we had term limits, think of the institutional knowledge, the
valuable apparently useless experience we'd
lose if these two deep-thinking insipid self
promoting legislators were prohibited from running for
re-election. It apparently took 45 fucking years of Senatorial
experience to write another useless piece of crap legislation to
add to the federal criminal code.
a) I'm pretty sure it's against the law to sell crack.
b) I'll wager there is another federal law against selling it to
children.
c) You could probably get the FDA to pile on adulterated drugs
charges too.
What a couple useless steaming piles of fecal matter. Thanks to
McCain-Feingold, unless a multi-millionaire decides to blow some
cash on his/her own bid, these two mental midgets are shoo-ins to
be re-elected by the moronic voters of Califvornia and Iowa.
Oh, fuck it. Americans are just too stupid for self-government.
SIV|1.26.09 @ 7:26PM|#
My favorite semi-real drug threatening our children is heroin cheese. Not that I've tried it,or seen it or anything.I just think if there really is a heroin product cheaper than a 20oz Coca Cola the drug war is truly lost. Hell it is reportedly cheaper than real cheese.
Elemenope|1.26.09 @ 7:29PM|#
My favorite semi-real drug threatening our children is
heroin cheese. Not that I've tried it,or seen it or anything.I just
think if there really is a heroin product cheaper than a 20oz Coca
Cola the drug war is truly lost. Hell it is reportedly cheaper than
real cheese.
Yeah but it probably tastes like crap.
Alice Bowie|1.26.09 @ 7:33PM|#
Keep Dope Alive !!!
Marijuana...that is
Meth/Coke/Speed/XTC are miserable drugs.
They make me too too speedy. I don't like these drugs, don't trust
these drug either. One never knows what's in a
powder/pill/etc.
Marijuana, on the other hand, you know exactly what it is. Haven't
heard too many OD stories concerning it either.
cokehead|1.26.09 @ 7:42PM|#
This is upsetting, because I was really looking forward to the Coke flavored coke. Better than the Pepsi flavored coke - less sweet.
Elemenope|1.26.09 @ 7:43PM|#
Marijuana, on the other hand, you know exactly what it
is.
Uh huh. Sure.
Me, I likes my pot, but you better get it from a trusty source. It
can be adulterated just like anything else you put in your mouth by
disreputable (or just plan incompetent) folk.
mark|1.26.09 @ 8:03PM|#
This bill will do nothing to prevent kids from using drugs, but it will have the intended effect of ratcheting up the Fear level, which may cause some families to reach the tipping point and turn to drugs. Still, this a plusgood bill.
mark|1.26.09 @ 8:09PM|#
Meth/Coke/Speed/XTC are miserable drugs.
They make me too too speedy. I don't like these drugs, don't trust
these drug either. One never knows what's in a
powder/pill/etc.
Don't make Jacob Sullum stomp you! Also the guys at hedweb have
something to say
about coke.
This is upsetting, because I was really looking forward to the
Coke flavored coke.
I just wish they would bring back Coke with sugar, I'm tired of
smuggling it over the border!
Elemenope|1.26.09 @ 8:30PM|#
Isn't fraud (marketing one thing as another, like, say
psychedelics as pez) doubleplusungood among you Non-aggression
principle peeps?
Or do your rules only apply when you want them to?
|1.26.09 @ 8:39PM|#
Me, I likes my pot, but you better get it from a trusty
source. It can be adulterated just like anything else you put in
your mouth by disreputable (or just plan incompetent)
folk.
In my entire life, neither I nor anyone I know in meatspace has
ever smoked any adulterated reefer unless it was adulterated by the
user themself. I've also never had adulterated LSD. No governemt
inspections of either product.
|1.26.09 @ 8:42PM|#
Isn't fraud (marketing one thing as another, like, say
psychedelics as pez) doubleplusungood among you Non-aggression
principle peeps?
Isn't the government randomly passing stupid ass laws about
mythical problems, spending money to tilt at windmills kinda
unsound in leftyland?
Elemenope|1.26.09 @ 9:00PM|#
In my entire life, neither I nor anyone I know in meatspace
has ever smoked any adulterated reefer unless it was adulterated by
the user themself.
I had a bad experience with some hash once, and that was from a
reputable supplier.
Isn't the government randomly passing stupid ass laws about
mythical problems, spending money to tilt at windmills kinda
unsound in leftyland?
Like I said up at top, pretty much everyone turns into an idiot
when it comes to drugs. Tilting at windmills, all the way to
abandoning one's principles. Amazing, isn't it?
Taktix®|1.26.09 @ 9:16PM|#
Isn't fraud (marketing one thing as another, like, say
psychedelics as pez) doubleplusungood among you Non-aggression
principle peeps?
Not when the fraud doesn't exist. Much like the Iraq war, we are
being told some danger exists in order to get us to support
disingenous legistation. This bill isn't for "candy-looking" drugs,
it's just a backdoor way to add another bullshit charge to another
bullshit policy.
The fraud is a sideshow, a freak act, a Lefiti...
Bobcat|1.26.09 @ 9:17PM|#
The other point here, Elemenope, is this isn't fraud. This isn't selling meth and claiming it's candy. This is selling mythical candy-flavored meth. By your logic selling cherry vodka is fraud as it's not cherry juice.
Rick H.|1.26.09 @ 9:19PM|#
Isn't fraud (marketing one thing as another, like, say
psychedelics as pez) doubleplusungood among you Non-aggression
principle peeps?
Uh, meth is always going to be more expensive than candy.
If this (completely nonexistent) problem qualifies as fraud, then
we'll need laws against diamond sellers using dark ink to disguise
their gems as raisins, so they can sell mass quantities to
Kellogg's. Laws against selling vintage wine as dishwashing fluid.
Etc.
Only with the Drug War do you need to create a new species of every
law already on the books every couple of weeks, just to keep
politicians floating in the sweet, stoned euphoria of press
coverage.
Anyway, LMNOP, I can't see where you're going with this argument.
The problem is, like most drug warrior legislation, this law is so
completely divorced from real world facts it's totally insane. The
SKFDDA should get its sponsors committed to an asylum. Bad laws are
worse than no laws.
alan|1.26.09 @ 9:24PM|#
When the day comes that cocaine is legal, and people who possess
the 'politician gene' are hunted down and killed for their pelts,
there will be a commercial for coke that goes:
'Drip, Drip, drip, Drip, drip drip, MMMM, Colombian Gold Supreme,
that's some GOOD drip!'
The Wine Commonsewer|1.26.09 @ 9:30PM|#
OBAMA HEROIN!
Extra penalties for trying to lure the unsuspecting with a promise
of change! Yes we can!
|1.26.09 @ 9:40PM|#
Kid one: Cmon take a hit
Kid two: no, i'm afraid that the dope will rot my brain.
kid one: it tastes like strawberries.
Kid two: oh, well in that case...
Elemenope|1.26.09 @ 9:50PM|#
By your logic selling cherry vodka is fraud as it's not
cherry juice.
Uh, no. It would be fraud if you put "This is cherry juice" on the
label or otherwise advertised it as simply cherry juice.
Anyway, LMNOP, I can't see where you're going with this
argument.
Where I'm going with this is that but for the fact that drugs are
illegal, this sort of regulation *would not be out of the
ordinary*. Manufacturers of ethylene glycol for antifreeze are
required to put an embittering product in it for denaturing
purposes, because unlike most poisons ethylene glycol actually
tastes pretty good and a good number of kids died drinking
it.
Don't get me wrong; I think the drug war is stupid beyond
reckoning, and any retrenchment in that regard is bad. As such,
this legislation (as I said so originally) is stupid almost beyond
words, esp. since unlike antifreeze deaths, I don't think this
stuff actually even exists.
But say for the sake of argument that meth were legal, and sold in
the US. Would it be so terrible for it to not be allowed to come in
fruity flavors? Can't you, I don't know, fucking mix it with
strawberries at home if you wanted to? I know this is a dirty
consequentialist way of thinking, but seriously if the costs and
burdens are minimal and it prevents a decent amount of harm, WTF is
your problem? There's no constitutional right to flavored
pharmaceuticals, is there?
Kid one: Cmon take a hit
Kid two: no, i'm afraid that the dope will rot my brain.
kid one: it tastes like strawberries.
Kid two: oh, well in that case...
This is pretty fucking funny.
|1.26.09 @ 9:53PM|#
Last I checked, unflavored meth was still illegal. So what
possible difference does this law make?
Oh I get it, it's "Double Secret Prohibition"!
cunnivore|1.26.09 @ 9:58PM|#
It would be fraud if you put "This is cherry juice" on the
label or otherwise advertised it as simply cherry juice.
which is not analogous to what's supposedly happening here. The
customers know they're getting meth, not candy. I guess you could
say they're defrauding their taste buds, but then you'd be
prosecuting anyone who sells aspartame or Olestra products as
well.
|1.26.09 @ 10:27PM|#
I was just in Arkansas and I heard meth called "the tooth fairy" because it takes your teeth away. Maybe Fienstien heard this and is making a candy/rotten teeth connection.
|1.26.09 @ 10:36PM|#
I've developed a new product: Obama-flavored meth.
Soon to be a hit on college campuses.
Buy ten and get a free 'Yes we Can!' crack-pipe.
|1.26.09 @ 10:38PM|#
OBAMA HEROIN!
Extra penalties for trying to lure the unsuspecting with a promise
of change! Yes we can!
Doh. Someone always has my good ideas first.
coop|1.26.09 @ 11:08PM|#
I wonder if she is considering a candy flavored birth control pill that she is pushing through congress. It would stop kids from having kids.
dhex|1.26.09 @ 11:20PM|#
"But say for the sake of argument that meth were legal, and sold
in the US. Would it be so terrible for it to not be allowed to come
in fruity flavors?"
would it be so terrible if it did?
Shadow of the Past|1.27.09 @ 12:02AM|#
I will only accept this law if it is accompanied by a provision that reduces your sentence by half if you sell asparagus-flavored meth.
Elemenope|1.27.09 @ 12:10AM|#
would it be so terrible if it did?
No, probably not *terrible*. But I understand the argument why it
would be unfavorable.
And like I said before, the infringement of liberty is literally
trivial; if you want strawberry flavored meth, buy meth and
sprinkle it on fucking strawberries.
|1.27.09 @ 12:10AM|#
Meth? No.
LSD, on the other hand:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1653755/posts
I think this woman ended up pleading to a misdemeanor and got her
kid back.
bill|1.27.09 @ 1:27AM|#
Aren't a lot of children's prescription drugs flavored and colored? These are "controlled substances". I can't wait till the head of Glaxo or Eli Lilly is thrown in jail.
Max D.|1.27.09 @ 1:54AM|#
I read all the comments and no one has pointed out the glaringly
obvious reason this law is so stupid: Nobody EATS meth!
Seriously, have any of you people even tried it? You can snort it,
you can shoot it, you can smoke it. But eat it? Gads! (And
adulterated? Try baby laxative.)
You people need to try more drugs, so you can speak from empirical
wisdom.
|1.27.09 @ 2:32AM|#
I personally think this bill is a hidden crack down on the paraphernalia industry. In my local head shops, they sell a products for flavoring pot. You add a couple drops to the bowl, and it gives off a slight scent/taste of the designated flavor. Note the language used: "manufactures, creates, distributes, or possesses with intent to distribute a controlled substance that is flavored..." It doesn't appear to be limited to just speed.
halfdoghalfdeer|1.27.09 @ 2:39AM|#
am I being paranoid when I think this may be intended as simply a place holder for the days when nicotine, alcohol and unhealthy foods are routinely scheduled and prohibited?
some guy|1.27.09 @ 8:03AM|#
it is easy to tell just by looking at a candy cigarette that
it is not the real thing
So the DEA will not look twice at my two tons of candy cigarettes
imported from Colombia? Excellent.
ev|1.27.09 @ 8:14AM|#
How exactly would one flavor meth? I mean...yeah you can hotrail it or something but usually one smokes meth. I don't get it. I don't think there exists a strawberry cigarette that actually tastes like strawberries either. Hmm. Plans a' brewin'.
Chuck|1.27.09 @ 9:04AM|#
LMNOP--
I think one of the points of the article was that the proposed
statute is worded broadly enough so that there is a lot of
potential for overly broad application. So, in that sense, the
costs and burdens are not minimal, in addition to the simple fact
that this is a solution in search of a problem.
Max D.--
People eat meth
all the time.
Chuck|1.27.09 @ 9:07AM|#
I personally think this bill is a hidden crack down on the
paraphernalia industry. In my local head shops, they sell a
products for flavoring pot. You add a couple drops to the bowl, and
it gives off a slight scent/taste of the designated
flavor.
When I was in high school (late '70s) you could buy
strwaberry-flavored rolling papers. I had forgotten all about that
until now...
dhex|1.27.09 @ 9:41AM|#
"And like I said before, the infringement of liberty is
literally trivial; if you want strawberry flavored meth, buy meth
and sprinkle it on fucking strawberries."
considering the outwardly delusional approach the dea and co.
generally have towards the war on drugs not sold by the drugstore,
i am inclined to think this entire thing is a sideways approach
towards paraphernalia or some other large, grasping overreach. i'm
not a huge fan of crankers (or cokeheads, or myself if i'm drinking
coffee) but i trust drug warriors even less. there's something
going on, though it may just be the usual "for the children"
approach.
sidenote: oh to live in a world where lsd candy is available at the
local mom n' pop...
Ravac|1.27.09 @ 9:55AM|#
LMNOP,
Are you also outraged at Godiva liqueur? Kirsch? Schnapps? Wine?
After all, they're chocolate, cherry, peppermint, and
grape-flavored alcoholic beverages respectively. Kids must love
'em!
The last I heard, you still had to be 21 to buy 'em legally
though.
Zeb|1.27.09 @ 10:22AM|#
"People eat meth all the time."
I don't think swallowing it in pill form is quite the same.
|1.27.09 @ 10:46AM|#
But say for the sake of argument that meth were legal, and
sold in the US. Would it be so terrible for it to not be allowed to
come in fruity flavors?
Yes. Outlawing chocolate flavored cigarettes is terrible (an
infringement of commercial liberty) too.
That wasn't even difficult.
Tyler|1.27.09 @ 11:20AM|#
So instead of parents worrying about their kids taking candy
from strangers...
...they should direct their efforts to telling their kids not to
buy a glass pipe, spend (at least) a month's allowance for a piece
of candy, put that candy in the pipe and smoke it, because it
tastes good. Because that's what these congressmen seem to think is
all the rage.
Jordan|1.27.09 @ 12:05PM|#
There's no constitutional right to flavored pharmaceuticals, is there?
I think you meant to say "There's no constitutional basis for
banning flavored pharmaceuticals, is there?"
Chuck|1.27.09 @ 12:29PM|#
Outlawing chocolate flavored cigarettes is terrible (an
infringement of commercial liberty) too.
But what about cigarette-flavored chocolate?
JD|1.27.09 @ 12:30PM|#
Max D. - Yeah, but people smoke tobacco, they don't eat it, and yet there's a huge variety of flavored tobaccos out there. (Which, IIRC, have also come under fire from our Benevolent Overlords, because obviously flavors only appeal to young children.)
she-troll|1.27.09 @ 12:30PM|#
Personally, I'm more worried about kids taking pharmaceuticals as prescribed by teachers
|1.27.09 @ 12:55PM|#
"""I personally think this bill is a hidden crack down on the
paraphernalia industry. In my local head shops, they sell a
products for flavoring pot."""
That sound horrible. Buy better tasting pot.
I've heard of people drinking meth. I guess you could mix it with
your favorite Kool-aid flavor.
oat willie|1.27.09 @ 2:28PM|#
"When I was in high school (late '70s) you could buy
strwaberry-flavored rolling papers. I had forgotten all about that
until now..."
The strawberry ones were pink and there were banana-flavored ones
which were yellow. Good times...
SpongePaul|1.27.09 @ 2:33PM|#
I have to agree with the other posters who voice that this is a law desinged to get at "other problems" because with this law, cartoon hits, lables from med mj clinics. even x tabs with a dove or bear or something on them. any weed sold in colored baggies etc. This is a way to double the time handed out for non violent offenses, without appearing to do so. it will go under the radar, whilst sentences double.
|1.27.09 @ 10:10PM|#
Speaking of Meth laws, I needed some real cold medicine. The
girl at the register had to enter my driver's license information
for me to buy friggin Advil Cold & Sinus. It was 12 bucks for
the box.
I guess asking for cold medicine without a song and dance is too
much to ask in America.
|1.28.09 @ 8:28AM|#
A candy-coloured clown, they call her Feinstein, tip-toes through my room every night...
Slava Lenkov|11.9.09 @ 5:50PM|#
Halloween is coming up. My kids are very excited to go trick or treating. Right now the drug world is so crazy so I don't even know if I want to take my kids trick or treating. I heard that people put meth that looks like candy inside of little packages and give them out to kids. They look just like candy and kids don't know any better so they eat it and they could die.
Bubbl3z jp|11.16.09 @ 8:54PM|#
to all meth users you are being stupid and thats all there is to
it.stop doing meth before it stops you!!!!
4rm a girl.
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