The Volokh Conspiracy
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Elected Official vs. [Chocolate] Dick At Your Door
Ventura County Supervisor Linda Parks sues a company that's in the business of delivering "chocolate Dick[s]," "offensive 5 inch chocolate phallus[es] with no redeeming social qualities, whatsoever."
I missed this when the case was first filed in March; from the Complaint in a lawsuit by Ventura County Supervisor Linda Parks against Rain Parade, LLC, doing business as Dick At Your Door:
[5.] On or about June 5, 2021, Defendants and each of them caused to be delivered to Plaintiff's home in Ventura County a "chocolate Dick," an offensive 5 inch chocolate phallus with no redeeming social qualities, whatsoever.
[6.] Defendants, and each of them, have continued their offensive and outrageous conduct by, despite their public statements of disclosure of persons contracting for sending their sick "novelties," failing and refusing to disclose the person(s) ultimately responsible for the offensive and outrageous conduct alleged herein.
[9.] The actions of defendants were outrageous, intentional, and malicious, and done with reckless disregard of the fact that they would certainly cause plaintiff to suffer severe emotional and physical distress.
[10.] As a proximate result of the acts of defendant, plaintiff suffered headaches, severe emotional distress in the form of fear, nervousness, anxiety, worry, and indignity.
I noticed this because of a just-posted California Fair Political Practices Commission decision (released in February), which allowed Parks to use campaign contributions to sue to uncover the name of the person who ordered the phallus (though that wouldn't extend to the substantive lawsuit against Dick At Your Door):
A notice of intention to circulate a recall petition against you, in your office as a Ventura County … Board of Supervisor member, was filed on February 12, 2021, and approved on March 4, 2021, for circulation. This recall effort began after you and three other supervisors voted on January 12, 2021, for the County to initiate litigation against 10 local businesses for repeated violations of state and County closure orders enacted due to the COVID-19 pandemic. You filed a response to the notice of intention, stating that this was an unwarranted recall by "extremists" who defied state Health Orders to keep people from getting sick and dying from COVID-19 and who have engaged in rallies that slowed traffic on Highway 101, and ambushed grocery store shoppers and staff with mask-less protests. The recall effort failed to gather the required number of signatures and ended in September 2021.
On June 9, 2021, while signatures were being gathered for the recall petition, you received a package at your personal residence, from an anonymous person sent through a company. The package contained a life-size chocolate penis in a box that says, "Congratulations! YOU DESERVE IT" on the outside, and other vulgar messages on the inside of the box. The box also included the message, "Honorable Linda Parks, enjoy early retirement. Thank you, Casa Conejo residents" taped to the underside of the box. A separate card in the box stated, "Confused? See if the sender left you a message" and provided the website and name of the company sending the package and messages.
You learned that company that sent the package is a limited liability company in San Diego. The business has refused to disclose the sender to you. You believe that the anonymous sender chose a novelty item that crosses the line from free speech to threatening a female public official with implied sexual violence. You state that it is without question a dangerous time to be female and a public servant and you note recent harassment events of female public officials covered by the news media.
You ask whether the expenditure of campaign funds to pursue legal action against the business to obtain the sender's name is permissible under the Act and believe the legal action serves a political and governmental purpose for a number of reasons. The package and message referenced the campaign to recall you from your elective office and occurred during the recall attempt. You believe this was sent to you because you are a female elected official. You are concerned that the publicity around this event may chill others from running for public office.
You think it is important that the identity of the sender be known for purposes of transparency, for example if the sender is a major donor in local campaigns, as it may affect the person's influence in political campaigns. You are also currently receiving anonymous harassing text messages regarding a particular development project and think this action may have been intended to intimidate and dissuade you in performing your duties regarding decisions about the project.
Finally, you are concerned that anonymous senders could send this kind of pornographic novelty to other unwitting victims, and they too would be harmed. The use of campaign funds to attempt to have the court order the release of the name of the individual who contracted to send it may lessen the ability for future senders to remain anonymous and so disincentivize individuals who hide behind anonymity to take harmful actions, thus serving a governmental purpose as well….
[California law], as relevant to this matter, provides that where the litigation arises directly out of a candidate or elected officer's activities, duties, or status as a candidate or elected officer, such as in an action to enjoin defamation, the expenditures of campaign funds for attorney's fees and costs are directly related to a political, legislative, or governmental purpose and thus meet the standard….
The Commission previously advised that campaign funds could be expended for attorney's fees and costs in order obtain the identity of the person responsible for anonymously creating an "anyone but Terrazas for city council" Facebook page, as the posts sought to discredit the candidate's professional reputation and undermine his campaign for office. The Commission found a direct relation between the purpose of the expenditure and the candidate's "status as a candidate." …
Similarly, this litigation matter arises directly out of your activities, duties and status as an elected officer, and the recall effort of your elected position. The mailed anonymous lewd package and accompanying messages related to the recall effort and your status as a member of the County Board of Supervisors. You seek legal action to obtain the identity of the anonymous sender. You are not seeking monetary damages. This legal action is directly related to a political or governmental purpose as it arises out of your activities, duties and status as an elected officer and the recall effort of your elected position status….
I can see that getting such an item in the mail may be offensive and disquieting, and having it sent to her home adds an extra level of unpleasantness. Still, it seems to me hard to view the particular mailing as a threat, given the context described in the commission decision; an elected official ought to be able to deal with such matters. And I certainly don't see how the business's actions are tortious intentional infliction of emotional distress. But after the Complaint was served in April, I haven't seen any further actions on the docket, so we may end up not getting any decision here.
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"The gun is good!"
"The penis is evil!"
First thing that came to mind this morning.
Chocolate is a delicious treat. She should have eaten it. She would have felt really good.
What is offensive is the racist 5 inch length. To be accurate, it should have been 10 inches.
You know what's 10 inches long and White??
Nothing!!!!
Frank
A peeled banana.
an offensive 5 inch chocolate phallus with no redeeming social qualities, whatsoever
1. why "social" qualities ? Presumably it has the redeeming quality of being made of chocolate, which is very redeeming for the 97.5% of the population that likes chocolate.
2. And why not just hand it over to the local School Board as a teaching aid for 1st Graders ? That's social, shirley.
3. Or send it to the new Justice as a negative indicator for "woman."
4. "As a proximate result of the acts of defendant, plaintiff suffered headaches, severe emotional distress in the form of fear, nervousness, anxiety, worry, and indignity."
Presumably there's no perjury jeopardy with making this sort of complaint ?
Would a chocolate gun be equally offensive?
Maybe she has diabetes? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
1. Chocolate needs no reason.
2. the use of the phrase "with no redeeming social qualities, whatsoever." is offensive to the entire rest of the world. Straight women are offended because they know and enjoy the real thing. The alphabet community is offended because they are offended by anyone straight saying anything sexual. Straight men are offended by designating 5" as life size.
What does she mean that it it lacks serious value? It is chocolate -- and as such always has serious value.
But it's not bacon.
Of course there was redeeming social value in the Dick. The Plaintiff is very definitely one, with her, and the other Supervisors’, COVID-19 mandates. There was never any science behind their masking mandates, rather just totalitarian wishful thinking (research since then has mostly shown that masking did no good for adults, and caused harm to children). She was a “Dick” about the whole thing. One word, Two somewhat different, but related, meanings. This double meaning, used by her political opponents, puts it into the category of political speech, which should be protected by the 1st and 14th Amdts - even in CA.
Next up in election law litigation: Can candidates use campaign funds to hire private investigators to find out the identity of the people who keep leaving flaming paper bags of dog poop on their front steps?
IANAL ... but probably, yes. Reasons: Fire and biohazard. (if it's on fire, how do they know it isn't human poop?)
Point of order...
Too much chocolate.
Weight gain from too much chocolate.
Considering this was clearly intended to be an insult and not a threat I'm assuming a chocolate c**t was not available.
https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B08GLYQLRZ/reasonmagazinea-20/
Damn. Proof people will buy anything.
Wasn't this a "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode???
Frank "Fuck it, it's chocolate"
"Forget it, Jake. It's Chocolatetown"
It actually (almost) was an SNL skit.
Samberg and Justin Timberlake perform "Dick in a Box"
https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/snl-digital-short-d-in-a-box/3505985
Probably this website for the chocolate.
I don't know how good the chocolate is. Hopefully it's at least Hershey level.
Linda Parks is currently registered independent but she started her legislative career as a Republican. She represents the Thousand Oaks area of Ventura count which is just a massive middle-class suburb of LA. The recall effort was from the right, as one might correctly assume from the COVID-19 reference. The box lid (you can Google up a picture online pretty easily) says "Eat a Dick."
Altogether, this is clearly meant as a childish insult with a chocolate prop. I wouldn't eat the chocolate, btw, because no one uses quality chocolate on an insult-penis. I don't like the idea of legislators abusing the system to dox childish pranks that are legitimately harmless. If the sight of a penis causes her that much distress, how can she possible sit through difficult testimony or research difficult issues with any reliability? If a non-white penis offends her so much, what else will trigger her delicate sensibilities?