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Divorce Agreement Provision Requiring "Great Care Prior to Introducing" Child to Their Lovers
held to be vague and therefore unenforceable.
From Powell v. Knoepfler-Powell, decided last week by Judge David Bernhard of the Virginia Circuit Court (Fairfax County):
The Court … holds [that a divorce settlement agreement] term that the parties are to exercise "great care prior to introducing" their "boyfriends or girlfriends with whom they may have a romantic relationship" to their child, is void as against public policy and unenforceable. The clause is unduly vague and calls upon the Court to unreasonably limit the freedom of association and speech of the parties interacting with their child ….
The Court is part of government and as such, is restricted from unduly interfering with fundamental rights. The Virginia Code calls upon judges presiding in disputed custody and visitation cases to consider the best interests of subject children in application of a number of listed factors "for purposes of determining custody or visitation arrangements," which may empower the Court to a limited extent to regulate associations and speech when harmful to the child…. [But t]he Court must tread lightly, if at all, in imposing prior restraint on the associations and speech of a parent who has given no cause to the Court to conclude that she will act in any way harmful to the parties' child. In the context of this Court imposing an order restricting parental freedom of association and speech, it would thus be an abuse of discretion by allusion to the authorities herein cited at a minimum not to have a reasonable and equitable basis for so doing….
This provision, if again incorporated into this Court's order resolving the instant dispute, is equivalent to an injunction punishable upon transgression by the judicial contempt power. Previous agreement by the parties to a contractual term alone is not dispositive as to whether such provision is nevertheless void as against public policy.
"Whatever tends to injustice or oppression, restraint of liberty, … and natural or legal right;… when made the object of a contract, is against public policy and therefore void and not susceptible of enforcement." The Court may further not enter an order that restricts speech that is "'so broad, so unreasonable, and so open ended' that the manner in which he [or she] 'is supposed to comply with this order is difficult to know."'
A first principle of justice is that an injunction not be so vague as to put the whole conduct of a defendant at the peril of a summons for contempt. Instead, courts must navigate carefully between the extremes of issuing a decree that is so vague and overreaching that all actions by the defendant might potentially violate the decree and a decree that is so limited as to be ineffective in preventing the harm contemplated ….
A basic threshold in analysis of the provision in dispute is whether it is so vague as to be unenforceable. "When the terms of a disputed provision are clear and definite, it is axiomatic that they are to be applied according to their ordinary meaning."
The law does not favor declaring contracts void for indefiniteness and uncertainty, and leans against a construction which has that tendency. While courts cannot make contracts for the parties, neither will they permit parties to be released from the obligations which they have assumed if this can be ascertained with reasonable certainty from language used, in the light of all the surrounding circumstances.
However, "[a]n ambiguity exists when language admits of being understood in more than one way or refers to two or more things at the same time." Imposing upon the parties that they exercise "great care prior to introducing" their romantic "boyfriends or girlfriends" to their child, suggests there is to be an uncertain degree of selectivity with whom they may associate in the presence of the child. In the instant case, "great care" to one parent may mean "less care" to another. The restrictive sentence does not further direct what is meant by such terms, leaving them essentially to interpretation arbitrarily by each parent….
For the Court to incorporate in its order that the parties must take "great care prior to introducing" their romantic partners to their child, the Court necessarily must be able to discern what such command means here. It cannot. The restriction respecting the introduction of their romantic partners to the parties' child is hopelessly vague, unenforceable, and shall not be included in the Court's revised custodial order….
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I can understand the vagueness argument. But I don’t understand the public policy argument. How can the parties’ voluntary agreement possinly be transmogrified into state action? And how can the parties’ voluntary agreement not to quickly introduce their children to what might be nothing more than a series of transient people being temporaily used for sex possibly violate Virginia public policy? How can Virginia be more sure than the parents that this is against the childrens’ best interests?
I dunno, maybe because it expects the state to interpret and enforce it?
Change a diaper, you are on the hook for $million in support until the spawn of the garbage bag boy graduates from college. The vile lawyer has delusionally redefined, father, as the one who takes care of a child. This is to plunder the assets of productive males. I would never want to meet the child of a woman who failed in her marriage, or who did not have the morals to get married prior to popping a brat. Even if you decide to step up, you get reported for child abuse for any attempt to correct the child. The vile feminist lawyer has destroyed the American family.
If it can't be transmogrified into state action, then it shouldn't be in the divorce decree as something the state is expected to enforce should one breach it, no?
That said, the way similar things have worked in the past is that it becomes ammunition for renegotiating custody in court. In this case, the judge is saying the court doesn't want to be involved in that particular mess.
So everytime the state enforces a contract between private parties that’s state action?
IANAL but I would assume so. Why wouldn't it be? The state is taking action to enforce a contract. I may well be missing something...
Under Shelly v. Kramer, court action is state action.
But courts don't adhere to that consistently. Certainly parties are given a lot of room to restrict constitutional rights in contracts, and those agreements are often enforced.
Contracts are not enforced under $million. Contract law is garbage. It does nothing. Compare it to Ebay. If I win a CD for 1 cent, I still get it to avoid a bad rating.
OK, then, make it less vague.
"Parties *shall in all cases* avoid exposing the child to their (the partners') sex partners, or alluding to them.
Vagueness problem solved!
Or more simply, "Lock the damn door!"
Which is equally foolish, because it would prevent introducing your children to their new stepparent.
Can't help but wonder what fact pattern led to this being litigated.
I don't think it's that unusual. I learned this during my single life (so long ago now!). When getting involved with a divorced woman who has custody, one has to be careful. You can't just stay over and say hi to the kid the next morning like it was nothing.
Actually, litigations on this topic are highly unusual. That's what make this particular article newsworthy. So what happened here that was so much more egregious than the scenario you describe that it led to litigation?
Such a reasonable restriction, and one of the parties opposes it? My guess is, unlike the “close calls” I had, something went wrong — perhaps the kid was exposed to the nude body of the lover — in a way the lover (or the spouse) should have had the brains to avoid.
The language of the 'contract' was written by a divorce lawyer, a member of the bar, an idiot with a brief case, the bane of society, a moron with a law degree, who occupies that special place in society to ensure the proper administration of justice ... proves again that the bar is a bunch of jews fleecing the goy with no understanding of law.
I just wish there was also a rule that if the parent doesn't want to meet their ex partners new partner, he or she would be free to avoid 'partner ambush'. I mean, make inquiries to see if there's going to be any problem for your kids with the new person but I can be the jealous type... and I don't like to feel like I'm burning on a fuse when I'm supposed to be calm and not near a fire.
When my ex wife started dating someone on the steady I told her repeatedly that I didn't want to meet the person. Verbally, in writing, etc. Well, I got ambushed (oh, look who's here! This is my boyfriend so and so...) and while I kept my cool I did do the traditional chest thumping (stood taller and straighter, extra firm handshake, suck in the gut, make oneself bigger, low guttural single word greeting, etc). It was nerve wracking, painful, and it was way too soon. That is, right up until she walks him out to his car to peck on cheek/say goodbye and all I hear is his voice:
"Jesus Christ he's a big dude!"
And don't you ever effing forget it pal.
I like stories. 🙂
Weren't you also relieved to be rid of a boss? My 5 Date Doctrine limits encounters to an amount where everyone is on their best behavior. They are not faking, just behaving well. Then move on. Familiarity does not breed contempt. It breeds horror. Every longer term relationship in history has included horror. Say, the rarest of relationships is idyllic and perfect for 50 years. Dude will die. You will do bereavement.
I'd commend the parents for creating this clause. Yes, it is vague. Also yes, they are clearly trying to not damage their child psychologically more than they already have. It is pretty clear what the parents are trying to accomplish (to me).
My parents divorced when I was a small child. The aftermath of the divorce was just a mess, and as a middle-aged adult, I am still dealing with the detritus of that time. I really wish that parents contemplating divorce would think long and hard before pulling the marital rip-cord. Their actions will play out over the rest of their child's life. The children are never, ever the same afterwards.
Great care doesn't seem anymore vague than the term reasonable man.
It makes me sad when I see modern divorce statistics. My parents lived together for 52 years until my dad died. I always thought my family life would be like this. However, practice has shown that not everything depends on me. I no longer plan to marry again. I get dates using local hookups. This seems to me the only way to avoid disappointment in a relationship.