Crime Squad 3: Cherries, NASA, & Popcorn

Enforcing all the laws, all the time.

Meredith Bragg and Austin Bragg | 10.21.2022 10:35 AM

HD Download

The crimes are real, the cops are puppets, and the criminals are everywhere.

Written and produced by Meredith and Austin Bragg.

Sources: cherries; NASA; popcorn
via https://twitter.com/CrimeADay

NEXT: Chris Rufo's Battle To 'Stop Woke'

Hide Comments (36)

Editor's Note: As of February 29, 2024, commenting privileges on reason.com posts are limited to Reason Plus subscribers. Past commenters are grandfathered in for a temporary period. Subscribe here to preserve your ability to comment. Your Reason Plus subscription also gives you an ad-free version of reason.com, along with full access to the digital edition and archives of Reason magazine. We request that comments be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment and ban commenters for any reason at any time. Comments may only be edited within 5 minutes of posting. Report abuses.

SQRLSY One 2 years ago

Also, peons, be ye warned NOT to blow (in an unauthorized manner) on cheap plastic flutes!!!!

To find precise details on what NOT to do, to avoid the flute police, please see http://www.churchofsqrls.com/DONT_DO_THIS/ … This has been a pubic service, courtesy of the Church of SQRLS!

Log in to Reply
1. evailu 2 years ago (edited)
  
  Great article, Mike. I appreciate your work, I’m now creating over $35400 dollars each month simply by doing a simple job online! I do know You currently making a lot (ks-13) of greenbacks online from $28000 dollars, its simple online operating jobs
  ...
  Just open the link——————–>>> http://Www.TopCityPay.Com
  
  Log in to Reply
Brian 2 years ago

That’s hilarious! Everything is more funny with puppets!

Log in to Reply
1. Á àß äẞç ãþÇđ âÞ¢Đæ ǎB€Ðëf ảhf 2 years ago
  
  Putin has fun with Belorus's puppet, the LA unions are having fun right now with their puppets.
  
  Log in to Reply
  1. Dace Highlander 2 years ago
    
    The White House is having a really fun time with the old man Muppet puppet right now.
    
    Log in to Reply
Unicorn Abattoir 2 years ago

the cops are puppets

But who's pulling the strings?

Log in to Reply
Dillinger 2 years ago

but I'm already in custody lol

Log in to Reply
1. Dace Highlander 2 years ago
  
  Yes! That was my favorite line from this one.
  
  Log in to Reply
Diane Reynolds (Paul.) 2 years ago (edited)

You know what age and wisdom taught me? Enforcing all of the laws some of the time is even worse.

Log in to Reply
1. Briggs Cunningham 2 years ago
  
  Enforcing none of the laws none of the time is the worst of all. Watching the news from Chicago, Portland, and San Francisco taught me that.
  
  While there are certainly valid points to be made about the dangers of over policing, I don't think in the midst of an exploding murder and violent crime rate is a good time to make them. Reason is, however, nothing if not a one note publication.
  
  Log in to Reply
  1. Overt 2 years ago
    
    "Watching the news from Chicago, Portland, and San Francisco taught me that."
    
    No. Chicago, Portland, San Francisco, etc showed you exactly what DRP said: the danger of enforcing laws selectively.
    
    Wanna run a business or build a building in San Francisco? Go get your lawyer. Want to steal all the shit out of that business, and shit in front of the building? Have at it.
    
    Log in to Reply
    1. Briggs Cunningham 2 years ago
      
      Fair point.
      
      Log in to Reply
    2. sarcasmic 2 years ago (edited)
      
      When the police cut back on enforcing the law, the first thing to go is crimes with victims.
      
      Meanwhile they keep on enforcing victimless crimes, because that’s how they line their pockets.
      
      Log in to Reply
  2. Rossami 2 years ago
    
    "I don’t think in the midst of an exploding murder and violent crime rate is a good time to make them" would be a valid point if we were in the midst of such a trend. Thankfully, we are not. What we are seeing is a relatively modest up-tick in a long-term declining trend.
    
    Log in to Reply
    1. TheReEncogitationer 2 years ago
      
      Yeah, but since the reporting mechanism is all higgledy-piggledy, how do we know this anymore?
      
      Log in to Reply
  3. markm23 2 years ago
    
    If we _were_ "in the midst of an exploding murder and violent crime rate", it would still be a good time to have the cops concentrate on the crimes with actual victims, rather than the ones that are "crimes" only because some power-grabbing official defined them as such.
    
    Log in to Reply
2. BestUsedCarSales 2 years ago
  
  I think this is some Burkean wisdom. I really fear this is how we've gotten to the point where we have an unknowable amount of laws, that are often not enforced... until they are.
  
  I don't know how to to deal with it though. There has almost never seemed to be some political will to go back and modify or remove old laws. Like, Coolidge did yeoman work like this. He was better than we could ever hope for again though.
  
  Also, the new Coolidge biography is really good. I recommend it. He's basically the conservative/libertarian hero as president.
  
  Log in to Reply
  1. BestUsedCarSales 2 years ago
    
    Whoa, this biography is 8 years old. Man, I am behind the curve on this shit. Wow.
    
    Log in to Reply
    1. Sometimes a Great Notion 2 years ago
      
      His autobiography is also a good read.
      
      Log in to Reply
      1. Libertariantranslator 2 years ago
        
        "The Talkative President" is a most useful compendium of Coolidge wit. There he explains treaty constitutionality to reporters decades before Tricky betrayed us by signing the ABM treaty. It took 56 years for the Coolidge doctrine to appear in American Defense, the newsletter of the Libertarian Defense Caucus.
        
        Log in to Reply
        
        Sometimes a Great Notion 2 years ago
        
        Thanks, just ordered it.
        
        Log in to Reply
  2. Libertariantranslator 2 years ago
    
    Nothing musters political will like LOSING an election thanks to Libertarian spoiler votes. (https://bit.ly/3QpGuKk)
    
    Log in to Reply
    1. n00bdragon 2 years ago
      
      If you want to earn libertarian votes, try running a more libertarian candidate. No party is "owed" your vote. They have to earn it. When they don't earn it, they don't get it.
      
      Log in to Reply
Unicorn Abattoir 2 years ago

"It's a federal crime for an employee of the U.S. Popcorn Board to leak confidential popcorn information"

How about orange juice futures?

Log in to Reply
1. Dace Highlander 2 years ago
  
  FROZEN orange juice futures mister!
  
  Log in to Reply
mad.casual 2 years ago

How can there be a republican mermaid? It just doesn't make sense. Humans drown in water and the wider parts of the ocean, and even the land, don't provide enough food for people to just waltz through them. It's phenomenally complicated, even today, for humans to navigate successfully over land masses. But merfolk, since forever, have been able to circumnavigate the globe just by swimming. There would be no geographically-divided publics to represent!

Log in to Reply
1. Dace Highlander 2 years ago (edited)
  
  Republican because she’s…not black. See the new re-woke Mermaid.
  
  Log in to Reply
Stuck in California 2 years ago

This one was subtle. A republican mermaid -- because she's white. Great sneaky shot at Disney race baiters there.

Log in to Reply
Libertariantranslator 2 years ago

These and Brickbats (with Bagge art) are fast becoming my favorite Reason features.

Log in to Reply
Utkonos 2 years ago

You know who else put some pretty outrageous laws on the book?

Log in to Reply
1. Emotional Support Golem 2 years ago
  
  Caligula?
  
  Log in to Reply
  1. Utkonos 2 years ago
    
    Caligula and Catherine The Great don’t count—they were just horsing around!
    
    Log in to Reply
2. Emotional Support Golem 2 years ago
  
  Moses?
  
  Log in to Reply
voluntaryist 2 years ago

If you vote, you have had your say. Complaining is useless. You gave away your political power when you chose a rep. All you can do is obey your rep's laws, by your own choice. You no longer run your life. You assimilated yourself!

Log in to Reply
1. Dace Highlander 2 years ago
  
  I'm reminded of the ending montage of Rush's 2112.
  
  Log in to Reply
TheReEncogitationer 2 years ago

Hell, judging from the wardrobes of my clientele, I thought all NASA was good for anymore was selling gear with it's logo on it. 🙂

Log in to Reply

Please log in to post comments

Crime Squad 3: Cherries, NASA, & Popcorn

Enforcing all the laws, all the time.

Latest

Rise of the Samurai Lawyers

Marco Rubio Says He's Revoked 300 Student Visas Over Campus Activism

Pam Bondi Aims To Revive a Moribund Legal Process for Restoring Gun Rights

Trump Is Sabotaging His 'Drill, Baby, Drill' Agenda

How Backpage Became MILFS.com

Recommended

Login Form