What Should Have Happened at the Big Tech Antitrust Hearing

Siri, what color is the kettle?

Austin Bragg and Andrew Heaton | 8.3.2020 10:17 AM

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Last week the House Judiciary Committee questioned the top executives at Facebook, Amazon, Google, and Apple, accusing them of censorship, bullying, anti-competitive behavior, and other practices the federal government excels in.

In the latest Reason video, we explore what we would have liked to see during the big tech antitrust hearing.

Featuring Austin Bragg and Andrew Heaton; written by Austin Bragg, Meredith Bragg, and Andrew Heaton; edited by Austin Bragg.

NEXT: Remy: NoMargaritasville (Jimmy Buffett Parody)

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Formerly Cynical Asshole 5 years ago

Siri, what color is the kettle?

"Black, which makes any criticism of it automatically racists, you white supremacist asshole."

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1. Uncle Gunnysack 5 years ago
  
  Wow, that got dark fast.
  
  Wait -- is it OK to say "dark" in an open and inclusive forum? Or is that word...you know...on the blacklist?
  
  Shit! There I go again -- I can't seem to help myself!
  
  If an edit button here in the comment section isn't in the cards, I wish Reason would at least upgrade the automation so that potentially offensive speech is flagged like spelling errors.
  
  Woke Libertarians should understand more than anyone that it's important for the private sector to proactively embrace voluntarily corrective measures to address issues of longstanding social inequity and systemic cultural injustice so that it hopefully doesn't becomes necessary for government to step in and regulate or remedy the situation for us.
  
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  1. Longtobefree 5 years ago
    
    "If an edit button here in the comment section isn’t in the cards, I wish Reason would at least upgrade the automation so that potentially offensive speech is flagged like spelling errors."
    
    So become the Federalist comment section?
    
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Chipper Morning Wood--------------------- 5 years ago

Hahaha, this is great. Thanks, Austin and Andrew!

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ErictheRed 5 years ago

Keep 'em coming. Please.

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Á àß äẞç ãþÇđ âÞ¢Đæ ǎB€Ðëf ảhf 5 years ago

If only!

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Dillinger 5 years ago

why *was* there a big tech antitrust hearing?

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1. Art Kumquat 5 years ago
  
  Like all hearings so congress critters can be on teevee and make funny faces and say hillarious quips. It's all for the twitter crowd now.
  
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2. Formerly Cynical Asshole 5 years ago
  
  So that politicians could put out of context snippets of them being "tough on Big-Tech" into campaign ads, of course.
  
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3. Bluwater 5 years ago
  
  Cuz big tech doesn't carry strong public support for its corporate power structure, and therefore it's like the popular inverse of mom and apple pie and totally safe to be against. Nobody ever lost an election by wagging a finger and threatening the corporate power brokers. Totally rough and tough politicians, and the only ones that can't get sued for extortion and character assassination... or anything else for that matter.
  
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Union of Concerned Socks 5 years ago

Top notch. This is what changes minds.

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Diane Reynolds (Paul.) 5 years ago

You know what other hearing was comical and didn't go well for the inquisitors?

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1. Á àß äẞç ãþÇđ âÞ¢Đæ ǎB€Ðëf ảhf 5 years ago
  
  Sharing photos?
  
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2. Leo Kovalensky II 5 years ago
  
  Hey Torquemada, whaddaya say?
  I just got back from the auto-da-fé!
  Auto-da-fé, what's an auto-da-fé?
  It's what you oughtn't to do but you do anyway!
  
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  1. Nardz 5 years ago
    
    Ah, it's good to be the king
    
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3. Social Justice is neither 5 years ago
  
  Not if you're getting news primarily from Reason you don't.
  
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TJJ2000 5 years ago

+1000 Great Video! It's time for me to donate to Reason. Well worth the money.

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MatthewSlyfield 5 years ago

Here's what I would have liked to seen from the hearing:

"This hearing has been canceled because we are a bunch of morons. US Antitrust law is deeply broken, but we have no clue how to fix it and nothing that happens in this hearing could possibly change that.

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AlbertP 5 years ago

+++

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Bowerick Wowbagger 5 years ago

Awesomeness!

Great job Heaton and Bragg!

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Nail 5 years ago

v nice, Bragg slays in this one.

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Fats of Fury 5 years ago

Congress could have asked the Chinese embassy to send someone over. When that guy says "Jump" ,the techs wont even have to ask "How High?"

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1. Fats of Fury 5 years ago
  
  Of course much of Congress would be hopping up and down too.
  
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  1. Nardz 5 years ago
    
    Probably could get a supermajority with that one
    
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Fist of Etiquette 5 years ago

I liked the jokes at the expense of the other party's representatives, but didn't so much like the ones that targeted my party.

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1. Union of Concerned Socks 5 years ago
  
  Your Favorite Political Party Sucks
  
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2. Bluwater 5 years ago
  
  Speech writers used to be the paid gig. But now that they are competing for soundbites on national television right before an election, one-line joke writers are ghost writing congressional performances.
  
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Titus PUllo 5 years ago

The question to ask these "leaders of tech" is to ask if they are Americans or believe their company is a sovereign nation? Twitter obviously with Jack and the wokes believe they are a nation onto themselves...

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qoheleth 5 years ago

When it comes down to it, the only political reason for opposing companies growing as large as Amazon, Google, Apple, etc. is that they can rival the government and sometimes afford to disregard the pols attempts at control. The nice thing about this approach is that you can laugh a bit while getting the point.

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What Should Have Happened at the Big Tech Antitrust Hearing

Siri, what color is the kettle?

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