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Not All Drunk Sex Is Rape: What WaPost Study Gets Wrong (and Right)

Binge drinking is the real problem

DrunkDreamstimeThe Washington Post recently offered intellectual support for the oft-cited—and much-maligned—claim that 1 in 4 or 1 in 5 women are raped in college. While the studies that arrived at that number have drawn considerable criticism, The Post’s latest poll asked 1,000 men and women at more than 500 different colleges about their sexual history and determined that about 25 percent of the women had indeed been sexually assaulted.

So the statistic holds true, after all? Not exactly.

A closer look at the poll suggests to me that WaPost got the same number as the previous studies because it worded the questions the same way. As The Washington Examiner’s Ashe Schow and National Review’s David French pointed out, the poll used “unwanted sexual conduct” and “sexual assault” interchangeably:

David French of National Review pointed out that these two words are not synonyms, and can actually include "behaviors that are not only not criminal, but may not — depending on the circumstances — even constitute unlawful sexual harassment (which the Supreme Court has said requires proof of conduct so 'severe, pervasive, and objectively offensive that it effectively bars the victim's access to an educational opportunity or benefit')."

Further, as French noted, "unwanted" is also not a synonym for "without consent."

"It's far broader, able to encompass a variety of circumstances, up to and including entirely legal misunderstandings and legal (though immoral) emotional manipulation," French wrote. "In fact, it is this very confusion between consent and desire that often makes campus sexual assault proceedings such a nightmare for all parties."

The Post's examples of possible conduct (which include "forced kissing, touching of private parts, grabbing, fondling, rubbing up against you in a sexual way") are similar to the questions asked in two other studies used by activists to claim campus sexual assault is such a big problem that we must enact draconian measures to convict more men. The category is so broad that the 20 percent figure includes everything from a kiss born from a misunderstanding to a forced rape.

The poll also lists “drunk” as one of the reasons a person can be incapable of giving consent or refusing sex, alongside “asleep, drugged, passed out, and incapacitated.” But women who are merely drunk are able to give consent; it’s only when alcohol consumption renders a participant incapacitated that consensual sex becomes rape.

It’s true that alcohol can cause people—both men and women—to consent to sex when they otherwise would not. Alcohol lowers inhibition, and lets people do things they will later regret. Certainly, drinking too much of it is a precondition in the vast majority of sexual assault disputes. But I'm not convinced the poll takes these nuances into account.

Though I dispute The Post’s characterization of the extent of the sexual assault crisis, the poll does an excellent job highlighting the prime roll that alcohol abuse plays in campus misbehavior:

In interviews with dozens of students who responded in the poll that they had experienced unwanted sexual contact while in college, most said they had been drinking before the incident. That’s consistent with the poll’s finding that two-thirds of survivors said they had been drinking just prior to their assaults.

Some said they had been too drunk to know or articulate what they wanted and what they didn’t want. Some said they were so intoxicated they lost awareness, later finding they had been raped while blacked out.

Others said they suspected they had been assaulted but were too intoxicated to remember the details and never found out for sure. …

Students are more likely to consider alcohol a problem on campus than sexual assault, according to the poll.

Emphasis mine. Maybe we should listen to these students, who seem to agree with me that a campus binge-drinking culture is the real problem. One of the students polled by WaPost has even stumbled upon the libertarian solution:

 Adam Newman, a 2014 graduate of the University of North Texas who responded to the poll, said stiffer alcohol enforcement might lead to more drinking.

Perhaps the solution is to lower the drinking age, he said, so young people learn how to drink responsibly before they get to college and getting drunk loses some of its forbidden-fruit allure.

“The appeal of ‘Ooh, parental supervision is gone, we’re going to get smashed’ is not there,” he said.

We don’t know precisely how many college women are raped each year, but should take steps to decrease that number, regardless. Unfortunately, the pathetic solutions being offered by both the activist left and the neo-Victorian right—think affirmative consent, and keeping women away from fraternity parties—will merely raise additional complications. The better solution is the libertarian one: abolishing the federal drinking age. This approach tackles the root problem, takes incentives into account, and—unlike the other ideas—would result in more, not less, individual freedom.  

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

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  • Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)||

    OKay, let's start this OT, shall we:

    Of Statists and Fish

  • Hugh Akston||

    Does someone else want to tell him? I'm too embarrassed to even ask if he knows.

  • Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)||

    Go ahead and ask, Hugh. I'm sure we can give consent.

    Just this once.

  • Hugh Akston||

    You know Clickhole is an Onion site, right?

  • Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)||

    Oh, of course! I go there every day, or so. It's just that the itch to get the government involved in something can be mined for laughs.

    It actually never occurred to me that anyone would think I was taking it seriously. Sorry!

  • Hugh Akston||

    Okay I just wanted to check. With the level of retardalmanian in these comments you can never be sure.

  • Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)||

    No prob. I just saw it and thought, "The Reasonoids will get a kick outta this"

    Didn't think anything beyond that.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    So what if it's an Onion site? Go back to Faux News.

  • MSimon||

    Foenuz?

  • Al-WoodChippin-manian||

    That was really weird.

    LIKE THIS ONE TRICK TO HELP YOU PAY OFF YOUR MORTGAGE 10 YEARS EARLY!!

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    I have always heard rumors that Agile Cyborg kept an aquarium.

  • Al-WoodChippin-manian||

    PS And then I looked to the right of the weird, glowing-fish thing, and I thought, "Wow - I like boobs!"

    http://thechive.com/2014/03/24.....-clickhole

  • Warrren||

    Did an unattractive man look at a sensitive, easily triggered girl-woman? Yes? RAPE!

  • lap83||

    It's still rape when an attractive man does it, but then you can humblebrag about it on Jezebel

  • Plàya Manhattan.||

    *Stares at lap83's ass, winks, and pulls out the disco guns*

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    My mother had a catchphrase when pouring wine: "The last drop gets you pregnant."

  • ||

    Today that can be amended to be 'the last drop gets you raped.'

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    Or, it's just a bald statement of fact. How else did most of you end up existing?

  • ||

    Maybe I'm just being crazy, but I cannot imagine anyone would be sending their child to college if there was a no-shit for-realz one-in-four chance they were going to get raped. Shit, beyond the parents, why would the kid want to go? These numbers are absolutely ludicrous from a human society standpoint, no matter how much rape obsessives want them to be true.

    Let's try a theoretical analogy: hey, in summer camp, there is 25% chance that you're going to be bitten by a black widow spider. How many parents will be sending their kids there? How many would want to go?

  • Al-WoodChippin-manian||

    Yeah, it's too bad that Society™ forces kids to attend college to be competitive and get a GOOD job, like at Starbucks or something, or risk getting a shitty job, like at Salon or Feministing.

    So, basically, the hetero-patriarchal norms FORCE them to run the rape gauntlet, or LITERALLY be figuratively killed.

    "Rape Gauntlet" would be a great name for an album to be banned from WalMart, BTW.

  • ||

    But I guess my point is that clearly, no one actually believes these numbers, or believes that it's 25% get rape-raped (thank you Whoopi), because they would never send their kids there or go there themselves. So if no one believes these numbers--as evidenced by people's actions, which are the only thing that matters--why are we still talking about them?

  • Al-WoodChippin-manian||

    RAPE.

    GAUNTLET.

    You just DON'T get it, do you??

    *twirls on heel, walks to "Wymyn in Herstory - a Non-Cis-Normative Minority Perspective" class*

  • lap83||

    "why are we still talking about them?"

    To deflect from the subject of why are these people going to college in the first place?

  • ||

    Whoa. Mind. Blown.

  • Chip Dalasio||

    It's one of those weird phenomena. No one believes the numbers. They know no one else believes the numbers. But, no one is supposed to have the temerity to say that they don't believe the numbers. It's like everyone,is supposed to preserve the lie as a social courtesy to its proponents. And if anyone is so crass as disprove the claim, everyone is supposed to immediately pretend the whole incident never happened.

  • Al-WoodChippin-manian||

    THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID

  • toadboy65||

    Money. There are now lots of people employed to help colleges deal with the rape epidemic, giving seminars and now employed on the university staff to help deal with the hundreds or thousands of expected rape victims. Emergency callboxes being expensively built, campus lighting replaced, campus police departments need to be expanded. And of course next year when another study finds that rape rates are no higher on campus than in society at large, it will be seen as proof that all of the money is being well spent.

  • Hugh Akston||

    Well, I mean, parents send their kids to college knowing that there is a 19% chance they'll be hispanic while they are there.

  • ||

    Or...even black?

  • Crusty Juggler||

    lols

  • Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)||

    So, Rachel is the New Black?

  • Plàya Manhattan.||

    is was

  • Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)||

    Ah, yes. Thank you, Playa.

  • The Wood Chipper 5000||

    "This week, the U.S. Supreme Court upheld a law passed by voters in Michigan that banned the consideration of race in public college admissions decisions."

    MICROAGGRESSION!

  • The Last American Hero||

    And as I pointed out this morning - if they did still go, the girls wouldn't party, wouldn't drink, wouldn't go out after dark, and wouldn't go alone in less than groups of 4. Although on second thought, if they were a premed student, a sharpshooter, and a member of the softball team you would have your classic healer/dps/tank thing going and could probably get from the dorm to the library.

  • ||

    if they were a premed student, a sharpshooter, and a member of the softball team

    Sharpshooter! GUNZ!!!

    And they are all 'members of the softball team'. At least until graduation.

  • Pan Zagloba||

    if they were a premed student, a sharpshooter, and a member of the softball team you would have your classic healer/dps/tank thing going and could probably get from the dorm to the library.

    Let's go classic here:

    -Field Hockey team member - fighter, high HP, two-handed weapon, close combat expert (tank)
    -Pre-Med student - cleric, specialised in healing, probably some kind of pacifist cheese combo
    -Chemistry student - mage, area DPS or crowd control
    -Marketing - thief, stands in shadows then claims credit and jacks loot when rest are not looking

    Basically it would be the Eye of the Beholder game, only on campus, and with rape gangs instead of orcs.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    ...I cannot imagine anyone would be sending their child to college if there was a no-shit for-realz one-in-four chance they were going to get raped.

    Uh, these college women are adults. They don't need to be "sent" anywhere. Stop infantalizing them. They are all growed up and fully capable of choosing to attend the best higher education protective bubble that fits their particular safe space needs.

    Anyway, you should be focusing on the 3 in 4 college girls. Are they forgetting to withdraw consent the next day? Are they friends with the wrong clique? Do they have no confidant to tell them the consensual intercourse they had last week was actually assault?

  • C. S. P. Schofield||

    "Uh, these college women are adults."

    Actually, based on the amount of infantile drivel wee se emanating from various campuses, I dispute this. Oh, there may be adults on campus, but assuming that any person on campus is an adult seems to be a bit of a stretch.

    Mattress Girl certainly isn't an adult; she clearly has the emotional maturity of a 12 year-old. One that has been underspanked.

    Hell, you can't count on the FACULTY being adult. Ward Churchill isn't.

  • Al-WoodChippin-manian||

    includes everything from a kiss born from a misunderstanding to a forced rape

    Seems legit, if you run your brain through a woodchipper before thinking about it.

  • lap83||

    Who drinks liquor out of a champagne flute?

  • GILMORE, LVL20 Blowhard||

    pppptt i drink everything out of champagne flutes. then i smash them in my giant fireplace.

  • Al-WoodChippin-manian||

    *whispers loudly to lap83*

    "Nouveau Riche...."

    *rolls eyes*

  • lap83||

    Yeah, but getting rich enough to indulge the natural instinct to smash champagne flutes with abandon is kind of the American Dream

  • ||

    Meh. Big Lots sells them in six packs for $3.00.

  • Plàya Manhattan.||

    I only smash crystal flutes.

  • ||

    And wipe your ass with only real Venezuelan currency?

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    I hear Zimbabwean works in a pinch.

  • lap83||

    too rich for me.

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    People who flout convention?

  • Crusty Juggler||

    a round of applause for you.

  • Al-WoodChippin-manian||

    Doncha mean people who FLUTE....convention?! FLUTE.....convention??!!

    HAHHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAHHHAAAHAHAAHAHA!

  • lap83||

    sparkling wit

  • Plàya Manhattan.||

    Put a cork in it.

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    Kinky.

  • robc||

    Based on personal observation of european college students, the forbidden fruit argument is bunk.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    Go on...

  • ||

    You mean they'll jump in a bunk with anyone who buys them a drink?

  • Raymond C C||

    Unfortunately, the pathetic solutions being offered by both the activist left and the neo-Victorian right—think affirmative consent, and keeping women away from fraternity parties—will merely raise additional complications.

    Neo-Victorian? More like Neo-Con.

  • SIV||

    That "Neo-Victorian" right sure could use a nice orange hyperlink...to something.

  • Raymond C C||

    There have been a few deluded or malicious neocons who have claimed that things like "affirmative consent" might lead to less hokey pokey on campus. It won't, of course.

  • SIV||

    Those damn jew-interventionists !

  • Mickey Rat||

    You don't know what Neo-Con means, do you? Except that your agin' 'em.

  • ||

    Binge drinking is the real problem

    Problem? Since when is being cool a problem? *shoves Robby in a locker*

  • Al-WoodChippin-manian||

    Next time, he gets a swirly, right?

  • ||

    No. Atomic wedgie. Then a Texas Chili Bowl.

  • Plàya Manhattan.||

    What is the second thing you just said?

  • ||

  • ||

    Go To Sleep! Its Sleepy Time! Why can't you go to sleep!

  • Al-WoodChippin-manian||

    Uh, PS - that Alt Text....

    *gives both thumbs up to Rico*

  • Lady Dalrymple||

    Rachel Dolezal's artwork is plagairized

    So, she's a complete fabulist.

  • SIV||

  • The Wood Chipper 5000||

    "He found coloured cartoons of the characters Bashful [sic... it's obviously Sleepy, not Bashful] and Doc from the 1937 Disney film Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, which were signed A.H..."

    Stupid Hitler

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    /Danger 5

  • ||

    Jackson: I don't think I've smoked this brand before, Tucker. Smells kind of German.

    Tucker: Don't be a Wellington, Jackson. I would never smoke... wait, yes. I can definitely smell Germany.

    Jackson: My god, there's Nazis in the walls!

  • The Wood Chipper 5000||

    Suck a stiffy, Hitler.

  • ||

    Tucker: You know what? The world doesn't need national monuments to remind people why they shouldn't kill themselves. Because there's something else I know that does a much better job. There's plenty of it, everyone can share it, and it starts with the letter "L". You know what I mean?

    Jackson: Tucker, shut up.

    Tucker: Yes, very well.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    I would read Sensible Chuckle magazine.

  • Pan Zagloba||

    Damn, that show was such a delightful surprise.

    "Johnny Hitler, you're so cool!"

  • Al-WoodChippin-manian||

    ALL THIS RAPE TALK MAKE STEVE SMITH HUNGRY. MAKE RAPEWICH BEFORE GO HUNT FOR MORE HIKERS.

  • ||

    Hey STEVE SMITH. I just saw you hawking used RVs in Houston.

  • IceTrey||

    This is my proposal. No age limit for possession or use of intoxicants. It's illegal for anyone who is not the parent or guardian to sell or provide intoxicants to anyone under 19.

  • Hugh Akston||

    So kids are supposed to bring their parents to college with them to avoid running afoul of the law?

  • IceTrey||

    Uh, I said no age limit for use or possession. The only way an 18 year old could run afoul of the law is if they sold or provided intoxicants to someone under 19. Try actually reading the comment.

  • Hugh Akston||

    Right, so if a college senior hands a beer to a freshman frat pledge, he would be committing a crime. And a super prosecutable crime, at that.

  • IceTrey||

    Not if the pledge is 19.

  • Hugh Akston||

    Right, so a harmless action on day X is a prosecutable crime on day X-1 for no reason other than the passage of time. I can see how that is not at all arbitrary.

  • IceTrey||

    Huh? That's exactly how it is now except the age is 21.

  • Hugh Akston||

    So your proposal is to repeal a harmful, arbitrary, and difficult-to-enforce law with a slightly less harmful, arbitrary, and impossible-to-enforce law.

  • IceTrey||

    It's not impossible to enforce. Send an underage person into a store and have them buy something. Just like they do now.

  • Hugh Akston||

    Ah the junior snitch squad, just like in 1984!

  • np||

  • buybuydandavis||

    "The poll also lists “drunk” as one of the reasons a person can be incapable of giving consent or refusing sex, alongside “asleep, drugged, passed out, and incapacitated.”"

    So did they ask men how many times they had drunken sex, and tally up all those "rapes"?

  • buybuydandavis||

    Two people fall asleep after having sex.

    Through the night, they bump and cuddle in their sleep. Being unconscious, neither could give consent, so both are RAPISTS RAPISTS RAPISTS and should BURN BURN BURN.

  • ||

    No, only *he* is the rapist.

  • Lady Dalrymple||

    I wonder what percentage of men have been sexually assaulted on campus. Ever been groped, pinched, hugged, kissed when you were less than willing?

  • Crusty Juggler||

    All of these happened to me, and I am disgusting.

  • Lady Dalrymple||

    You were RAPED.

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    So?

    *high fives, all around*

  • ||

  • ||

    Not even remotely as much as I would have liked.

  • Lady Dalrymple||

    You didn't dress sexy enough. You obviously weren't asking for it.

  • ||

    But I was!!! I wore Axe and everything!

  • Plàya Manhattan.||

    Axe Body Spray makes you the rapist.

  • ||

    Ok, this explains a lot. Including all those restraining orders.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    Axe Body Spray makes you the rapist

    I thought it was Affliction t-shirts.

  • Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)||

    And, Old Spice ain't exactly a chastity belt, either.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    You with your non-provocative long dress.

  • Warrren||

    Maybe if you'd wax your cloaca once in awhile.

  • ||

    But it's so much work! Can't they just like me for who I am?

  • Warrren||

    Have you not met you?

  • ||

    I sort of just live in a state of denial wreathed in delusion.

  • Warrren||

    That's redundant. You've already said you use Axe.

  • Lady Dalrymple||

    I've had plenty of male friends who dealt with unwelcome passes from women, both drunk and sober.

    My male coach at CF had one female member who'd use every opportunity to put her hands on him and it bugged the hell out of him. Embarrassingly enough, he had to speak to the gym owner about it.

  • PapayaSF||

    I had a male college friend who said he'd once been raped by group of coeds. He described it as "not fun," but didn't seem excessively traumatized.

  • Plàya Manhattan.||

    Is CF some sort of swingers club? Can I join?

  • ||

    Aye. Sexually assaulted and by the incapable of giving consent due to drunkenness while my partner was sober, raped. Several times. Had a gf who didn't like to get drunk but was dtf no matter how drunk I was.

  • Plàya Manhattan.||

    Careful. That's how you end up with a finger in your ass.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    That is how? Taking notes...

  • ||

    My prostate needed the massage.

  • Plàya Manhattan.||

    A lot. Jewish girls loved me for some reason, and they were the most aggressive.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Cocks can't rape when they are hammered into the third galaxy, man. Cocks don't do whiskey well. Cocks get fucked up and go limp like giant slugs when their human male gets drunk.

    I was raped in a van once. I enjoyed it immensely. And my cock also failed me immensely. But her huge tits in my face and her panty burn on my sub-performing dick was a niche fantasy for the week and the 3 years after. Dick panty burn happen when a hot chick unbeknownst to you shoves your chub into her very wet cunt and your drunk chub perks for a minute and the hot chick does the hump crank on your chub for at least a minute while her expensive panties burn the living shit out of the side of your chub and she pulls off and not a single human gets off because- this bitch just drank 3 bottles of Jim Beam and I did NOT fucking ask your HOT tight ass to stomp its vagina on my fucking groggy chub in the back of this van at 4 in the morning dear.... Walked away happy tho... fuck it.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    who needs space porn?

  • Warrren||

    we need space porn!

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    WE NEED PORN SPACE!

  • Warrren||

    It's called the kid's book section of the local library.

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    IT'S CALLED KATE MARA GETTING DICKED BETWEEN EARTH AND MARS!

  • Warrren||

    What about Uranus?

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    I HAVE NO TIME FOR YOUR KINKS!

  • Hugh Akston||

    That is so deep man, so artistic. Like Hemingway or Cobain or Sylvia Plath or David Foster Wallace. You know what else they had in common?

  • Crusty Juggler||

    They all had white privilege?

  • ||

    Well, the first two wanted to see the barrel of a shotgun during the act of firing.

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    A devotion to oven maintenance?

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    They had a colony of six toed cats?

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    They composed their works in English?

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    Too easy.

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    Their surnames begin with consonants. I'm sure that causes war.

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    No. They had worried spouses. No, that's not it.

  • ||

    That's worse than having to stop because your ass is rug-burned so bad you're bleeding on the beige carpet.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Jesus fucking christ... you don't want your pooper rug-burnt. Way fucking worse than side chub burned with expensive lace hump chunking your muscle root.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Isn't that what cocaine is for?

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Coke alone is superb with sex. Coke with whiskey is a challenge. Same with LSD. Same with shrooms. Heavy club booze use mixed with drugs fucks up libido and the goddamn mighty erect tool. At least for me. Mixing booze and drugs always leaves me chubby... and I don't care because that cortex is my imaginspatial journey- not the night I sling my massive cock into the blonde cunt I fuck every week and the brunette on the weekend. I prepare for fuckings and groggings, man.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Well, my philosophy is that I don't drink when I know it's going to be time to stud. The ladies deserve my full and unimpaired attention for that five minutes.

  • The Wood Chipper 5000||

    I essentially made this point a few days ago about whiskey dick.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    But did Sir Wood Chipper model 5000 make this point about his bourbon cock? Nay... Nein, bitch... motherfucking wood chippers ALWAYS have dicks carved from whiskeye... BOURBON? MOONSHINE. FUCK YOU WOOD CHIPPER MODEL %)))- er 5000!!!!

    FUCK YOUR WOOD CHIPPER DICK!!

    Goddam ned wood chipper dick model 5k's actually FUCKING have an opine abutt dicks...

    FUCK THIS SHIT- YOU GODDAMN wood chipper model 5 FUCKING k.

  • ||

    these two words are not synonyms

    As Kate Fillion put it in Lip Service: The Truth About Women's Darker Side in Love, Sex and Friendship almost two decades ago:

    Unwanted sex isn't rape; unavoidable sex is.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    I think tits would be awesome on hamburgers.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    Well, that cannot be topped. Goodnight everyone!

  • Agile Cyborg||

    A crusty man o le' sea could juggle tits and hamburgers....?

  • Plàya Manhattan.||

    It's called a fried egg burger.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Yolks aren't breast milk, love. And I slipped my cock in her one night a few years ago after she fed the offspring and the moon looked in my window and I winked at her and seized my wife's fat tit while I jammed my hard cock deep in her while she rode me like monster pony and her milk shot into my mouth and all over my hot lips and we kissed and got fucking drunk on cocaine and baby milk that night, man.... fucking crazy awesome

  • XM||

    What this poll shows is that there's a lot of sex and intimacy on college campus. There are undoubtedly some jerks who play a little rough or girls that send mixed messages. Retroactive rapes are thing now too - It wasn't rape when the sex actually occurred, but it becomes sexual assault if the guy fits a certain profile.

    But there's no rape crisis on campus. Just a lot of horn dogs who take state money to spend 4 years in wasting their prime.

  • ||

    The left has deliberately created a language and thought processes that allow them to live in a pretend world. It is a society wide psychosis. It allows blonde girls to claim to be indians or black. It allows talk show hosts to speculate that said blondies are actually black or indian. It allows unconscious men to be called rapists when they are used as sex toys without their knowledge. It allows for a dude to whack his own dick off and demand that everyone call him a woman. It allows for bullshit like the 1 in 4 statistic to be taken seriously. Their pretend world is a bizzaro, kafkaesque, surreal nightmare.

    What it doesn't allow is for straightforward, common sense approach to problems. It doesn't allow for success or for happiness. That is by design.

    As Bezmenov said "No matter how much information you give them they cannot draw a sensible conclusion, so they are unable to defend themselves, to defend their families, or to defend their country."

  • Hamster of Doom||

    It allows blonde girls to claim to be indians or black.


    I'm almost certain this is a reference to Fauxcahontas and Spokane Frizz. Still, it sparks a couple of interesting thoughts.

    I adore trans politics, since the logical end is the destruction of identity pigeonholing. It's the ultimate in individual empowerment, and the left is championing it. Of course they haven't given it any thought further than gender construct - but oh, myyyy, is it delicious. I, personally, am cheering them on, though never in my wildest dreams could I see it advancing this quickly.

    Identity politics are a huge key to divisive politics. And yet trans politics logically renders identity politics meaningless.

    Talk about being hoisted on one's own petard. The left could hasten us down the road to understanding of a person as a person, rather than black person, male person, etc etc ad nauseam.

    Boy, will they be pissed.

  • ||

    To be honest, they do a lot of shit that backfires hard on them; this wouldn't be the first time. That's why they always end up eating each other. I guess that's what happens when your primary motivations for actions are envy, hate, jealousy, and power-mongering, instead of the stated, supposedly noble reasons that are just used to cloak the real reasons.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    By "trans politics" one could mean transhuman politics. When we can genemod our bodies to have gills, blue skin, and a 9 tentacled penis/vagina combination all of this is going to look very silly then.

  • ||

    Somebody's been reading Avatar slashfic. Again.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Writing. Check out my tumblr: hardasunobtanium.tumblr.com

  • ||

    If that isn't real I'm going to hunt you down and beat you to death with my raging anticipatory boner. Or just go over to Warty's. I'll flip a coin, I guess.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Here, have some dinosaur erotica.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Seriously folks. Do yourself a favor and "type "dinosaur erotica" into your Amazon search box

  • Hamster of Doom||

    It allows blonde girls to claim to be indians or black.


    And the second thought was, citation required. I'd like to see your proof that Native Americans and blacks cannot be blond.

  • ||

    I suppose you could ignore the Lumbees entirely.

    Question, can we do embedded images?

  • ||

    No. Reasonable is supposed to preview them like it does videos but it has never worked for me.

  • Plàya Manhattan.||

    I was thinking exactly what you were thinking. Blonde Mexicans are hot.

  • SIV||

    As Robbie was too lazy to include a link I googled up "keeping women away from fraternity parties". The neo-Victorian right is The National Pan-Hellenic Conference!

    Unfortunately, the pathetic solutions being offered by both the activist left and the neo-Victorian right—think affirmative consent , and keeping women away from fraternity parties—will merely raise additional complications.
  • Heroic Mulatto||

  • ||

    Eddie has made that argument here. Sure, a few boys get thrown out of school for no reason, but it's a small price to pay if it stops fornication.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Indeed, here's the same argument made a bit more diplomatically by Conn Carroll over at Townhall.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    I seem to recall that I called for reinstating parietal rules - I also specifically recall *rejecting* the idea of branding horny young men as rapists without evidence.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    IIRC, I said that getting suspended for fornication looks a lot better on your record than getting expelled for rape.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    In any case, I expect the growth of online education and other alternatives to make the residential college model moot for large numbers of young people.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    I expect the growth of online education and other alternatives to make the residential college model moot for large numbers of young people.

    Absolutely...though Pell grants and such will still incentivize sleep-away camp for a while.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    I called for reinstating parietal rules

    I'm guessing you have some apartments off campus that need tenants, I take it.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    Oh, they're going to have sex if they want to, I just see the need for a college to facilitate it.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    *don't* see

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    I got it. I see nothing wrong with an institution requiring students to stay on campus and that they don't fraternize after hours with the opposite sex if that's the campus culture they wish to create. No one is forcing a student to attend such an institution if they don't want to. However, as competition for students gets even more fierce, I don't see how it would be to a nonsectarian school's advantage to pursue such a policy.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    I suppose the same reasoning could call for watered-down grading standards - wait, that's actually a thing in many colleges desperate for higher enrollment figures.

    There will always be colleges catering to students who want liberal grading, sketchy majors, the freedom to bang on college property, and other counterproductive things.

    Conversely, there could well be a market for colleges with rigorous standards and no-nonsense rules on banging, etc.

    If not, let the serious students go online.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    I suppose the same reasoning could call for watered-down grading standards - wait, that's actually a thing in many colleges desperate for higher enrollment figures.

    You don't have to tell me twice.

    If not, let the serious students go online.

    That's how my institution is playing it. A strong online division with recruitment geared toward non-trads. Rigorous competency-based courses (either you demonstrated that you mastered the concept by making or do something or you didn't. No Cs.)

    On the other hand, the place I went to had a reputation as a "party school," yet I knew plenty of people who didn't spend their entire 4 years running amok. Values and morals don't have to be imposed by the institution; parents have been successful in instilling them in their children so they can take them wherever they go.

  • ||

    I agree. Just like Kruger and Clorette.

  • ||

    Kroger. Ugh.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Young college girls want bright chubs and erect monsters in their hungry vaginas, man. Even older bright matures desire to slide bright chubs and erect monsters in their hungry thigh alligators... every bright woman wants to make a chub a statue of David in her wet pink galaxy, man....

    Her female powers understand no matter what her mindset or ilk or IQ... the entire geogrpahy of her skin has been pondered and explored for thousands of years by the greatest artists and math geniuses... her skin represents the space of humanity. Her knees are the treble clefts of beethoven. Her thighs are Galileo searching for answers... Her breasts are Michelangelo carving little David's penis... Her entire exquisite creature is the collective orgasm of the greatest minds and artists of the last 5000 years...

    She is the galaxy. She is the entire universe on my cock, man.

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

  • Agile Cyborg||

    The Mulatte is my Hero... I automatically give the world to my Mulatto. And all the other masters of the threads, man. Great mind and writers and expositers and lovers in this jungle. I am a little yellow bird on a branch in the valley where thoughts stream, brutha.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Heroic Mulatto's nigga? hellyea!

  • ||

    Mu-latte. Tee-hee!

  • Agile Cyborg||

    You jest have to KNOW, mr Ruffian, that the great Mulatto forges the greatest LATTE's or not. Maybe our Hero hunts and eats Rufus jang F's with a crossbow and roasts his/her skinned buttholes over the flames of homeless clothes by a river flowing through the goddamn Nueng York.... the Hero hangs captured buttholes on hangers roasting slowly over fires next to subway rivers and then puts all his (moz def not her) buttholes in a little baggie and heads up to the financial district where the great chefs under the JPMorgan lights prepares Heroic hunted human buttholes on the finest pork greases and then they succumb to wrappings of gold lead and tuna and the Great Mulatto Hunter of Buttholes finds his spot in the greatest NY restaurants and the chef offers him human buttholes preprared like never before in the history of this shit hole planet... and the great Mulatto sits and eats the greatest prepared buttholes ever... and he leaves and grows in power.

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    *cracks open beer, slaps cat wanting to go out*

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Well, I do like hot dogs.

  • Grand Moff Serious Man||

    So basically 3 out of every 4 rapes on college campuses is "I said yes but I wasn't sure what I wanted?"

  • ||

    It's worse than that, this definition appears to include "somebody brushed up against me on a crowded dance floor and briefly touched my tit and it's possible they did in on purpose."

  • Cyto||

    Or "My date tried to kiss me when he dropped me off!!! Ewww, gross! What was he thinking?"

  • PapayaSF||

    OT, opinions wanted: Joyce Carol Oates: A) Ignorant of pop culture and paleontology, or B) deadpan humorist?

    I lean towards A, but my girlfriend is sure it's B.

  • Plàya Manhattan.||

    The "wherever this is" gives it away.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    "my girlfriend is sure"

    Then tell her she's right.

  • ||

    She's not a stupid person. It seems courteous to assume B.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    "More profits if more prisons & more prisoners needed to fill them."

    She is strangely salvageable?

  • Dan Bongard||

    Not All Drunk Sex Is Rape

    That's like saying "not all black men are rapists".

    "The vast majority of drunk sex is not rape" would be a better way of putting it.

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    Not All Most Drunk Sex Is Rape Fun.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    I pondered the stars earlier and all sorts of shit and I realized that if earth did not exist with its specks of dusts and their brains stars and planets and things cosmos have no voice.

    Man, all those motherfucking spillings of lights and suns and dwarves?

    Fuck this, the universe will have happened and not a single fucking place would have noticed aside from the dust speck planet earth and its goddamn motherfucking control-freak horror shows called all the goddamn dictatorships on this loosey bullshit muck.
    Aside from the Libertarians- what the fuck is up with this place?

    We talk stars and jupiter's fucking dick? why? This fucking hellhole from Putin to the Congo to that insipid dick in North Korea and subtly insanity in the America's and our fucked up god-personality here in America... Fuck this planet and its absurd uselessness in light of our temporary state, man.

    FUCK THE WORLD! FUCK EARTH! We can do better? Not.....

    Humans suck,
    That's all...

    the greatness of the stars expressed on lips that don't deserve it. FUCK EARTH.

  • ||

    So all the transplants and local ninnies who should no better are freaking out because we might get a lot of rain (in Houston, which is SHOCKING). My wife went to the grocery store to get beer and it was emptied. Morons.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    What's wrong with rain? Is Houston prone to flooding?

  • ||

    Yes, but it is common enough to not worry about unless you are an idiot who drives your car into flood waters.

  • jester||

    It isn't raining right now. Is it?

  • jester||

    Now it is. Just started.

  • Plàya Manhattan.||

    Beer helps with rain?

  • ||

    Beer wasn't cleaned out, just everything else, including produce which is retarded because that's not exactly helpful if power and water went out.

  • F. Gaear Grimsrud, Jr.||

    OT: I'm not a hockey fan, but I'm always up for some high-level competition. This second period of the Cup Finals has been pretty epic.

  • Rhywun||

    I'm only a casual fan but these playoffs have been great.

  • Warrren||

    Hey look Obama has another ego-project!

    Way to steal talent away from the productive sector you flaming narcissistic asshole. On the other hand if you're dumb enough to think that A) Government can be fixed or B) Thinks that this is the actual goal of this "startup" you are a moron and probably shouldn't be working on important customer facing or business applications anyway.

  • Rich||

    They need to come work for him. They will need to take a pay cut, the president announces. But he doesn’t care what it takes—he will personally call their bosses, their spouses, their kids to convince them. The crowd laughs. But he gravely responds: I am completely serious. He needs them to overhaul the government’s digital infrastructure now. "What are you going to say to that?" asks Lisa.

    1) "Sir, isn't it too late?"

    2) "No, thank you."

    3) "With all due respect, aren't the immigrants/Indians/Chinese doing it already?"

    4) "Please explain exactly what parts of the government’s digital infrastructure need overhauling and why."

  • PapayaSF||

    Having done such a good job with healthcare.gov (which AFAIK is still not fully functional)....

  • Rhywun||

    I'll stick with my money-grubbing job in the private insurance industry, kthxbai.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    I count two Asians and two people with dark skin. It looks like the crowd at a Radiohead concert.

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    You would, though.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    You are disgusting.

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    Yup.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    I want to kill earth. I want to kill earth with infinity. I want to kill earth with infinity sandwiches. Infinity sandwiches filled with killed planets and millions of gallons of mayo and mustard. and if this entire shit went up in dismissive galactic radiation from who the fuck knows where may we all die as sandwiches.... infinity sandwichs smashed with planet-sized onions and tomatos and millions of goddamn gallons of mustard and tomatoes, man.... and a FUCKING jalapeno the size of goddamn saturn, man.....

    shit, so we die as a galactic sandwich? man, I dont know.... I have no FUCKING idea what these goddam fingers just typed...

    no. I don't want lord outer space eating my humans as a galactic submarine sandwich...
    shit is this even real? man.. why THE FUCK?

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    Mayo cooks to oblivion upon reentry. Not sure how the rest of sammich survives.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Ok so back from sandwich hell... man what the phucktawonda..

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Fuckness is greatfull and fuckfull is greatness and the mirror into my fingers sees a million ways to converge on broken limbs.

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    Word added.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Brains are plying a trillion chords into my spine and rivers of aqua and star sands smash into the box around our typings, man... see that blueline? It is tongue into the reason world. man.

  • Rich||

    Good evening, A C!

    If there's more than one blue line and they wiggle around like phosphorescent snakes, perhaps you could use a little water to drink.

    Otherwise, carry on!

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    "Pass, the vodka, honey, I'm still not drunk enough..."

    http://illinoisreview.typepad......1c5970b-pi

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    Hey, I know the title of my next country music song!

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    Pro tip: "F-150" rhymes with "shifty".

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    I should say "Jack Daniels" instead of "vodka."

    My baby is so ugly that her face can stop a clock
    But she still wants some loving, so my desire needs to be unlocked
    I'll give you what you need, honey, but it's going to be tough
    Pass the Jack Daniels, 'cause I'm still not drunk enough.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    Nashville, here I come!

  • Rich||

    "Always marry an ugly girl.
    That's the only kind!
    She'll never, ever leave you,
    But if she does you won't mind."

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    I came home from work tired, but sleep was out of reach
    She wanted to bump uglies, and that was no figure of speech
    I'll give it to you baby, I got all the right stuff
    But first give me some more liquor, 'cause I'm not near drunk enough

  • Agile Cyborg||

    You forgot your spaceman will bump your ugly
    while you sleep you delirious man/woman
    I will grief her shoulders with my butt and
    I will poke her knees with my dick and
    I will lick her buttock and I will also like her eyelids and toes..

    all for free, you fucking NOT GKC.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    I never should have lost that bet with my buddies
    I had to find a coed who majored in Feminist Studies
    She hasn't shaved in years, her skin was kind of rough
    I need another whiskey bottle, 'cause I ain't drunk enough

  • Agile Cyborg||

    You are NOT a male NOT GKC but the lovely woman
    decides to desert into the great adventures of desert
    and pain and longing and the NOT GKC wandered with her
    tribe of power and these great tribesmen broke into
    the winds of a tunnel found in the old ancient mysterious
    desert behind the rock pointing to the stars
    and the great NOT GKC was hauled into the great beneath
    sounding his/her alarm as the crews fell apart and only
    a few were left to lead NOT GKC into the great deep earth
    under the laser pyramids where the tunnels of moons
    wept for the suns and rocks dribbled cum and insiginias
    released lizards. The great journey into the lost dark
    with the awesome NOT GKC begins....

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    so my desire needs to be unlocked

    You can do better than that.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    I once met a girl who looked like Nancy Spungen
    She invited me to her apartment, located in a dungeon
    She wanted it real raw, with shackles and handcuffs
    I need a bigger bottle, 'cause I ain't drunk enough

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Tree surgeons should smash their balls into vagina roses and lick palm balls and then wander the plains in a florida swamp searching for the greatest motherfucking little shrooms in the patties and then the tree surgeon shall ingest said vagina rose on a stem and tree surgeon will grow toe wings and his naked rocket shalls be named Quinzi and the naked Quinzi will fall into a dark jello mold filled with old comets and frozen heros and then after these bitches are thawed Quinzi will reseract as a molotov cocktail in a rum drink formed from alien eggs and comet butts and the term reseract I think means or equates to resurrection by god balls and god balls are really powerful if you punch them and the erection above the god balls makes a shower of cream that ladies like to dance in but I tried this one time and the god cream tasted like old creampuffs like I'd imagine in an old Raggedy Ann story? uh? get this trip? yea man, most won't ... I'm fucked up and tripping on RAGGEDY ANN and cream pufffs.... SHIT wanga wanga what just happeded.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    I can't compete with this.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    NOT GKC swans

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    What he said.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Man, you know that path in your head. the one where the eyes gloss over and can't look directly into before they cross? right behind the brain and above the stem and beneath all the rivers and junk... I want to go there... I want to travel my body without a vehicle or fucking ship. I wish to travel my blood rivers and brain electricity and fuck.... I try to speak with my cells when they hurt man.. for real so let s let my wo rd s float and hold no g lue be c au se llingu is tics of hu man space F O R C E S c form ity..

    man I can even type l i ke I feel WITHOUT goddamn superficiality man. this space DEMANDS that i be NOT human...

    the world of com mun i c a t ion sh ou ld res ona te breezes

  • Agile Cyborg||

    words are solid... and thoughts forever.. and in this post my brain vectors are trapped on a goddamn finger punch and while I travel through the screen on lights and little dots everywang and why the FUCK are we limited to this bullshit? FUCK tech... man... a FUCKING letter puncher we are all.

    FUCK that.

    FUCK mice. FUCK keyboards... LET ME CREATE a supersonic brain picnic with my brothers and tiny sisters... FUCK tech. my brain wants more and into the hundreds, man. into the hundreds

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Reason has the best lovers ever
    Reason is the space of galaxies
    heralded by individuals who run planets
    NASA did not name
    Reason is the galaxy the Milky Way fucking
    gets pissed at
    Reason IS the Milky Way.
    Reason IS the center of the universe of man.
    Reason IS the world where great humans gather
    Reason IS the place where lovers discuss
    Reason IS the formation of the greatest comedian minds
    Reason IS the place where I rape all your asses with my metaphorical black cock. Why a black cock? BECAUSE, you dumbass, BLACK cocks are metaphorically large so I fuck you all with my metaphorical black cock, man.

    Hold still, bitches.

  • Quincy, Tree Surgeon||

    Hold still, bitches.

    No.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    I hope they are getting some ideas for their next pledge drive.

  • Notorious G.K.C.||

    Don't let the customs official see your tote bag.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    man, I am fucked up in this lovely thread and my fingers still work and lightning hit my fucking eyeball and she is called Raggedy Ann. Whoa... Whoa, man I CANNOT TRIP with Raggedy Ann this eve... man... I am fucked up but I really don't care what the world thinketh but I do love my Reason lovers and NOT GKC who constantly saves motherfuckers... but

    yes, I will go on a trip with Raggedy Ann.... No, I really can't do that right now. No. I ONLY remember cream puffs and Raggedy Ann man. Shit. I remember dungeons and cream puffs and Raggedy Ann and how Raggedy Ann helped me escape a brutal babysitter.

    Man, you'd think CPS in the united states would be far more intelligent than it is. USE YOUR FUCKING BRAINS, dumbasses. I was watched by HORRIBLE baby sitters AND I would never want any of these shit fuck women reported because ...they tried. and they did not try to kill me... though I was beaten many times over bullshit but at least I KNEW this shit....

  • jester||

    C'mon who are we kidding. We all raped women in college. It was the only way to get some. To say otherwise, is to assume that women are capable of thinking on their own and aren't subservient kitchen-dwellers with buns in the oven.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Cunt loves dick... and dick loves cunt... my head space never met a woman who didn't know what she wanted...

    This new tragic space of rape on colleges? Feminists found a logarithm to make males run for the hills..

    New rules? NEVER EVER FUCK a FEMINIST. EVER....

    Only fuck true women.

  • jester||

    You can never just fuck a feminist. You have to by definition rape her. If you are lucky, the rape won't be reported.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    A trillion rocks spilled from my nose and a million niggers I loved because they is in
    a white mans morality jail.... I want a million niggers to be freed because I love niggers because
    If you HATE niggers you hate your goddamn white self you motherfucking goddamn puddle of
    worthless IQ.... crackers murder and niggas murder- FUCK THEm.... some crackers and niggers
    WILL NOboss human life

    Crime is a knife in the head of elites and scared cunt crackers...
    Crime is real
    But criminmelodies can be imagined also....

    Always prepare for a killing and dance when you don't die

    I did this as a cracker in deep nigger villages when Libbey High School was NOT a green field, mothafuckas

  • Agile Cyborg||

    the world I was formed in a human being was smashed by bulldozers, man

  • Agile Cyborg||

    I painted murals as 16 year-old in a marbled edifice that was flattened by Toledo government.
    My art filled many walls into the business district... Man.

  • jester||

    'The View of Toledo' will never be the same.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    FUCK Toledo. FUCK life. FUCK the ghetto. FUCK gangsters. FUCK the CRIPS and BLOODS. FUCK the COPS who are so fucking goddamn stupid they don't know what the fuck is up or down.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Poverty is not the problem in black culture that forms gangs that kill.

    Example: look at mafia culture in Italian culture.

    Example: look at police culture in American culture.

    Example: look at black culture in American ghettos.

    Problem: Police don't like scrutiny

    Problem: Black culture doesn't like scrutiny

    Problem: the mafia doesn't like scrutiny

  • LynchPin1477||

    Saw Jurassic World tonight. It was unbelievably awful. I really, really hated it.

    If you haven't already wasted your time and money, do yourself a favor and stay home. It's not even worth a Netflix watch.

  • Sevo||

    LynchPin1477|6.15.15 @ 11:25PM|#
    "Saw Jurassic World tonight. It was unbelievably awful. I really, really hated it."

    Bad acting? Bad plot?
    Not a flic-fan but why?

  • LynchPin1477||

    Acting was fine.

    Writing was awful. The plot, if you want to call it that, was one tired trope and cliche after another. But they don't even linger long enough to try and develop any of them into a cliched movie. There may have actually been negative character development, in the sense that characters just do things that seem opposite their already thin personalities. Horrible, horrible forced romance. Bad CGI. Boring action sequences. Meaningless death scenes that I guess are supposed to be exciting, for some reason, but just left me feeling cynical (like, are we supposed to be happy that character died horribly? because they weren't bad, or even annoying). Really unconvincing CGI for a major movie in 2015. And absolutely no heart. Some reviews are saying it was exciting but I didn't think so at all. There were a couple genuinely funny moments, but usually I just found myself throwing my hands in the air. The unintentionally funny stuff was too annoying to actually laugh at. And HOLY SHIT the plot holes!!!!

    It almost felt like disaster porn. The scale of destruction was smaller but it had the same sort of vibe. I walked out saying that it reminded me of Transformers, but with dinosaurs. But I think even Michael Bay could make a better movie than this.

  • LynchPin1477||

    Oh, and of course there is the typical evil corporation BS. But at least they throw most of that in your face at the beginning.

  • Sevo||

    LynchPin1477|6.15.15 @ 11:56PM|#
    "Oh, and of course there is the typical evil corporation BS."

    Tiresome.
    Don't know the name of the movie, but wife was watching it on a cruise several years ago: Guy gets religion, god tells him to build an ark, wife and kids are told by god to accept his lunacy, and dam built by evil korp breaks.....
    Tiresome....

  • LynchPin1477||

    You're thinking of Evan Almighty.

    It was really more evil military industrial complex than straight up profit-hungry corporations. But while I'm bit more sympathetic to that theme, it was done in such a tired way that you can't help role your eyes at it.

  • Sevo||

    Steve somebody, right? And Morgan Freeman as god?

  • Sevo||

    LynchPin1477|6.15.15 @ 11:49PM|#
    "[...]Writing was awful. The plot, if you want to call it that, was one tired trope and cliche after another.[...]"

    "Alien" sort of convinced me to stay away from SF horror films the way Nixon's resignation speech convinced me to avoid politicos' speeches.
    Weaver in undies was cute, but, let's see, there is no quarantine, you chase this unknown thing all over the vessel individually (and each get 'eaten' thereby), and so forth.
    Does the plot require the characters be stupid? If so, it seems it also requires the viewer to be so.
    Sorry, pass.

  • LynchPin1477||

    And this isn't me just hating on action flicks. I can enjoy simple escapism that entertains with flashy things and loud noises. Not everything needs to be serious or though provoking.

    But whereas a summer blockbuster like Guardians of the Galaxy felt like the writers, director, and actors all knew what they were making AND having fun along with the audience, Jurassic World just felt like the writers and director were doing everything they could to cash in on what they think excites people (and evidently, it does). But it doesn't feel like they had fun with it. Either that or they were too clueless to know what they were hacking together.

  • Sevo||

    LynchPin1477|6.16.15 @ 12:03AM|#
    "And this isn't me just hating on action flicks. I can enjoy simple escapism that entertains with flashy things and loud noises. Not everything needs to be serious or though provoking."

    Agreed.
    Give me an obvious farce and I'm willing to laugh. Indiana Jones has done this.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anEuw8F8cpE

  • PapayaSF||

    I know what you mean. Sincere beats cynical. Well, I'm going to see it this week, regardless.

  • jester||

    I hated the first Jurassic pic. Yes, the special effects were remarkable for the time and the cinematography was A+, but the script was jejune and the acting around it unsurprisingly poor.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Great minds revealing their jet planes on dinos.

  • LynchPin1477||

    I really liked the original. I'm sure some of that is nostalgia on my part (I was 10 or so, and I grew up really being into dinosaurs). But I think it was a genuinely good movie on a few levels.

  • PapayaSF||

    I'm with LynchPin1477. It's not Citizen Kane, but as Hollywood action movies go, it was top rank.

  • Rich||

    I really, really hated it.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Reveal the deepest mindsets and shred fake bullshit...
    Show the world your impetus.
    Reveal your weaknesses.
    Offer new strategies......... gangsters, cops, and mafia

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Problem is, as a law enforcement agency or a mafia or a gangsta.... your money will always come from shady shit....

    Regulators and law enforcers ARE as criminals.... sadly man....

  • Agile Cyborg||

    I want my heart to scroll heaven and glory, man
    Sometimes real world forces smite the tears of our limbs
    and right now I wish to crawl among the sounds of the world man
    among the spears of the man in Liberia with his hands chopped off
    on his wrists asking with his eyes what is my future and the little boy
    with legs broken from a tank in the Balkans how can I survive?

    We live in america and have no clue, dears.
    Are we investigating whistles from graves in dark skinned worlds?
    Not...
    Are we investigating the old Communist states and their flux?
    Not....

    The world is a hyper lightning beaming across dark clouds
    and you live safe. For now. As do I. ONLY because our world
    has no vested interest in fucking up shit aside from our weak
    bullshit fucking asshole fuckery in the Middle East.

    America can accomplish NOTHING in the Middle East.
    From Iraq to Iran...
    Let them get their shit like N. Korea and if they fuck with us.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Well..... Bill Clinton is too stupid for Agile Cyborg's answer which is...
    FUCK THEIR ASS UP.....

    And pull back...

    Let modern Muslims learn the future on their own because ALL religions have EXCEPT the FUCKING Muslims....

    Christians and Catholics learned to get gentle. Time for the Muslim collective to get gentle.

    Sorry, ISIS. You literally suck as Muslims. YOUR Muslim world is a true and epic fail. ISIS, you can be the future of Islam but you have to erase violence and madness and insanity, bros. ISIS might be the future of Islam but Islam is being killed by ISIS.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    My eyeballs are smashed into a billion rockets and my spine is broken into a pile of pliers and a little fucking alien riding a bicycle rode up and put my entire body into his sack and my brain light followed this fucking bitch into a dying sun and his bike trail started on earth and continued through the stars and my entire fucking body was pile into a bag on his back and the heat, man grew fucking hardcore and the little alien rode his bicycle into a door next to Jupiter and he obviously did this shit before and he continued past jupiter into a strange weavy leaky strange green droplet world and as he pedalled tons of green droplets dropped and the weird earth beneath him heaved and waved and it was a strangle bullshitty pleace and the little alien man pedalled on with my remains in his bag and eventually the path poked a pink curtain and a gorgeous giraffe with huge tits welcomed the cyclist and offered a giraffe blowjob to buy my legs and the cyclist agree and the pink giraffe licked the cyclist dick until it cam and my legs were chopped off and the cyclist ventured on into volcanic planets because my arms and head and heart were were worth more blowjobs....

  • Agile Cyborg||

    A stone smashed into my dick and and my dick grew arms and my dick fingers ate the sun and the sun got pissed in my fucking belly and i punched my belly with my dick fingers and ripped the sun out of my body and fucked the sun with my dick.. I fucked the suns ass with my dick ... I came rivers of cum into the ass of the sun....

    that is all

  • Agile Cyborg||

    I think lettuce is a superpower juice and my eyeballs eat pigs, man. Literally . My eyeballs eat pigs like a huge ass pig I my eyeballswill eat that shit .. fuCKING entire pig into my FUCKING eyeballs....

    DUDE i will eat a fucking space rocket with my eyeballs...

    my eyeballs are ramen

    my eyeballs are fave rave

    my eyeballs are meth

    my eyeballs are raves

  • PapayaSF||

    Top Ten Rachel Dolezal Memoir Titles (collected from Twitter)

    10. Yes I Tan

    9. Trading Races

    8. As I Lay Dyeing

    7. The Unbearable Whiteness of Being

    6. A Pigment of My Imagination

    5. A Raisin in the Tanning Bed

    4. Homegirl, Interrupted

    3. How Stella Got Her Groove Jacked

    2. The Color Purple-ish

    And the Number One Rachel Dolezal Memoir Title:

    1. The Pursuit of Nappyness

  • Agile Cyborg||

    This is a convoluted vagina, love

  • jester||

    You left out:
    Thakelma and Laweesha
    Muthafucka, Whey's My Fried Chicken
    Twelve Years A Fake
    ET, Ebony Trade-Off
    Etc.

  • PapayaSF||

    Additions are welcome. I felt the format required me to stick to ten.

  • Sevo||

    PapayaSF|6.16.15 @ 12:14AM|#
    "Top Ten Rachel Dolezal Memoir Titles (collected from Twitter)"

    Standing O!

  • ant1sthenes||

    Really, Orange is the new Black isn't on there?

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Man, I slight tip if you are fucked up on assorted shit...

    snow peas.

    Eat 25 snow peas.

    Great shit.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/14/.....index.html
    Sharks raped humans... with their damn mouth swords....

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Respect to the families... I am hammered and fucked up but all due respect for your scary situation... I apologize for my flippant bullshit... peace out.

  • jester||

    Sharks tried to fellate human arms not realizing they had sharp teeth. Interesting take on events. Anyway, I'm sure that the kids will be okay since they are now considered handicapped and are host to all kinds of unforeseen benefits.

  • Hamster of Doom||

    Someone needs to try the Stubbs challenge.

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