The Most Taxing Day: The curious strain of April 15

I've always suspected that the April 15 deadline for filing taxes was somehow engineered by the Booth family. National irritation with the federal revenuers has long blotted out the previous significance of the date, which was the death of Abraham Lincoln following his shooting by Marylander John Wilkes Booth on the previous evening.

Thus, what used to be a sad anniversary in the Capital City has now become something worse: the date on which everybody despises Washington most. That would include most local Washingtonians, who quite reasonably fume at federal Washington on this date as much as anyone else.

A long line of locals waited inside one D.C. neighborhood post office only this morning, urgently in need of having their returns postmarked. They were all utterly confused, not only by the federal forms still dancing freshly in their heads, but by the fact that their post office opened its doors at 8:30 A.M., but didn't actually offer any services, whether selling a stamp or turning on the lights, until 9:00. This unusual schedule may have something to do with access to the p.o. boxes, which is no doubt why those boxes aren't filled until 10:00.

Some of these taxpayers were whiling away the time trading personal tax conundrums, involving such arcana as mid-year name changes. A few people were inspired by an Associated Press account in the papers about the refusal of antiwar protestors to file their taxes at all. These readers were helping each other compile a list of what seemed to be 100 good reasons why they too should keep their money. Reason #1 had to do with postal efficiency. Alas, the liveliest discussion indicated the degree to which the feds have won the tax argument. That conversation dissected the issue of whether one had to staple one's W2 to one's 1040, or whether it was permissible under the law to "attach" it in some other way.

Tax day in Washington can be uniquely special. For example, bad news came to those locals who needed access to their bank accounts; reports indicated that the FBI had instructed Washington's banks to close, due to a "credible threat" of some sort. That threat, whatever it was, soon dissipated, and the banks remained open. But worse news soon arrived for anyone wanting to get to their accountant, their bank, or anywhere else. Busses filled with protestors heading to D.C. for a war demonstration—not, unfortunately, a tax-related event—had reportedly brought area traffic to a standstill. How anyone noticed was not explained, but it was dark news indeed for anyone not sure just where they might have tossed their 1099s.

It used to be that D.C.'s true tax procrastinators could descend at midnight on the old Main Post Office near the Capitol, where irritatingly cheerful employees waited for them in the street. But that old building is now yet another museum, and the city's new main facility is the notorious Brentwood Station, internationally famous for having become infested with anthrax spores, resulting in the deaths of two employees.

Many Washingtonians will probably decide they are just as well off filing for a tax extension, and explaining to the IRS that they were unable to file on time due to credible terrorist threats, irrational postal service schedules, anthrax-related concerns, war-related traffic jams, or their personal day of mourning for Abraham Lincoln. The IRS routinely grants such extensions whatever the reasons, giving citizens until mid-August to file. That's not a good date; taxpayers should be encouraged to spend their money and their summer at the beach. The IRS should grant its extensions until November 22.