Brickbat: He Won't Be Using Them

St. Cloud, Florida, police officer Dianne Ferreira has been charged with suspicion of theft of a credit card with intent to use, credit card fraud of more than $100 and use of ID of a dead person after officials said she used a dead man's credit card to make several purchases. Officials said Ferreira responded to a medical call where a man had gone into cardiac arrest and died. She reportedly took photos of the man's credit card and used the information to order fast food and buy eyelash extensions.

Comments

[Adans smith]

Didn't even get a decent meal out of it.

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[A Cynical Asshole]

Yeah but those eyelash extensions probably made her look hawt.

[Brandybuck]

Make her look like Tammy Faye. Sorry, I don't consider Tammy Faye hawt. Not even in her prime.

[Jerryskids]

Fast food and eyelash extensions? Totally worth losing your job over. Nobody ever accused cops of being too smart for their own good, have they?

[Ed]

It didn't say she was fired... and I'm sure she wasn't worried all that much about losing her job. She could have shot the dying guy in the back and not gotten fired. Why worry about some eyelashes and a mcdonalds order?

[sarcasmic]

The St. Cloud police department said Ferreira was fired after being put on unpaid administrative leave.

I'm shocked. Seriously.

[Davedave]

Too stupid even to be a police.

[sarcasmic]

Still smarter than the dingleberries in the comments.

[Fist of Etiquette]

...used the information to order fast food and buy eyelash extensions.

...and buy eyelash extensions.

...eyelash extensions.

Good hire. I remember a day when that would have been steroids.

[mad.casual]

🙂

Dianne Ferreira …used the information to order fast food and buy eyelash extensions.

…and buy eyelash extensions.

…eyelash extensions.

I’m gonna need to know the gender and skin color of everyone involved before I know what to think about this.

[Idaho Bob]

Based on the photo - fat brown woman already wearing eyelash extensions.

https://nypost.com/2023/05/10/florida-cop-dianne-ferreira-arrested-for-using-dead-mans-credit-card/

[A Cynical Asshole]

But was the dead man a cis-hetero white male shitlord? If so, he got what he deserved and she should be given a medal.

[JFree]

Im wondering why she stopped with eyelash extensions? Why not - nails that signal 'I do nothing but sit around and look pretty in a really trashy way'. Or the costs to get the OnlyFans account set up?

Or perhaps I've got this all wrong and the eyelash extensions were for the corpse of the dead guy at his wake

[Jerry B.]

I often try to guess the content of Brickbats from the title and illustration. I was dead on this time.

[mad.casual]

I can sometimes talk to the dead about comments on Brickbats. The ghost of Ed McMahon saw you hold the envelope to the turban on your head and say "$100, a Big Mac, and eyelash extensions."

He said to tell you, "Hoooah!"

[sarcasmic]

You shouldn't brag about your senility.

[mad.casual]

That's funny because I was literally thinking if my superpower were to predict Brickbats from Reason headlines with crystal clarity, I probably wouldn't tell anyone.

Lemme guess, your superpower is the ability to flatten yourself into a two-dimensional plane so that points whiz right over you isn't it?

[sarcasmic]

My superpower is the ability to clear a room with a single fart.

[A Cynical Asshole]

"That is weird, wild stuff!"

[mad.casual]

The real fun of Brickbats is when we get the "Totally virtuous victim has had their rights violated in a manner that the Republic may never recover from according to their attorney" story and get to guess at how many people the totally virtuous victim actually assaulted, maimed, or killed immediately prior to getting their rights violated.

[havo]

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[Earth-based Human Skeptic]

Skin color or we don't know if this qualifies as reparations.

[Vernon Depner]

Maybe if she backed off on the fast food she wouldn't need expensive cosmetics to try to be attractive.