Texas Pete Hot Sauce the Latest Victim in Exploding Trend of Cynical False Labeling Lawsuits
A handful of law firms are behind a spike in class-action lawsuits claiming consumers are harmed by opaque, half-full macaroni boxes and "all natural" fiber supplements.

Californian Phillip White has a problem. He's been hoodwinked by supposedly misleading labels into buying products he'd otherwise pass on. As a result, the litigious White has filed a class-action lawsuit against a manufacturer claiming damages for its deceptive branding.
Earlier this month, White made a splash in the headlines with a lawsuit targeting the makers of Texas Pete Hot Sauce for allegedly trying to pass off theirs as an authentic product of the Lone Star State, when, in fact, it's Louisiana-style hot sauce made in North Carolina.
Had White known it was from North Carolina, his September lawsuit claims, he would have left it on the shelf at a Los Angeles Ralphs grocery store instead of shelling out $3 for it. Now having learned that "there is nothing 'Texas' about Texas Pete," White is demanding hot sauce maker T.W. Garner Food Company compensate him, and all other similarly deceived consumers, for their ill-gotten gains.
"The geographic origin of a product matters to consumers, and a company is therefore prohibited from misrepresenting it," reads White's complaint, which claims that T.W. Garner Food Company has "cheated its way to a market-leading position in the $3 billion-dollar hot-sauce industry at the expense of law-abiding competitors and consumers nationwide."
White's lawsuit concedes that the hot sauce's North Carolina origins are stated on the label. But he argues that's not enough to avoid misleading consumers. As evidence, his complaint cites a TikTok video of a man reacting with shock at the fact that Texas Pete isn't from Texas.
The Texas Pete lawsuit seems not to be White's first rodeo. Federal court records show at least two other mislabeling lawsuits filed by a Phillip White of California within the last two years.
That includes a June 2020 class-action lawsuit in which White claims he was tricked into purchasing a $12 container of Benefiber fiber supplement at a Santa Clara Target based on the supposedly misleading claim that the product was 100 percent natural. In fact, reads the complaint, Benefiber maker GlaxoSmithKline Consumer Healthcare Holdings uses a multistep chemical process to create its "100 %" natural products.
An October 2021 class-action lawsuit from a Phillip White seeks damages for the supposedly misleading labeling that tricked him into purchasing a $5 "reef safe" Kroger-branded sunscreen from a San Mateo County Kroger store. It claims the product contains chemicals that could still harm reefs.
In all three of these cases, the plaintiff is represented by Malibu-based Clarkson Law Firm, which has a steady, growing business filing lawsuits claiming that food and consumer goods manufacturers' branding is misleading or deceptive in some way.
Federal court records show the firm's founder, Ryan Clarkson, is listed as an attorney on nearly a dozen lawsuits targeting the makers of food, vitamins, and other consumer packaged products for deceptive branding in 2022 alone.
In addition to the Texas Pete complaint, Clarkson's law firm is suing pasta maker Barilla for allegedly tricking customers into thinking its products are made in Italy. He's taking on Whole Foods for packaging its macaroni in opaque half-empty boxes that make consumers think they're getting more noodles than they really are. (The weight of the noodles is still listed on the outside of the box.)
Snapple, and parent company Dr. Pepper, are also being targeted with a lawsuit for adding coloring to their "all natural" drinks.
Clarkson's firm is even going after the sanitary product maker Honest Company for not being so honest about the plant-based nature of its cleaning wipes. Aldi, Costco, and Albertsons have all also been sued by the firm for putting "dolphin-safe" labels on their tuna despite allegedly purchasing from fisheries that use methods that can still ensnare dolphins.
On his firm's website, Clarkson describes his practice as a public interest law firm that works "with clients whose cases can potentially contribute to our broader goal of building a fairer future for everyone."
He expresses particular pride in his lawsuits targeting opaque packaging.
"It's a sneaky way for [corporations] to pass their own cost increases on to the consumer by selling less food in larger containers," he says in a Q&A posted to his firm's website. "Cases like these have enabled us to help educate consumers so they're aware of it when making their purchase decisions."
Walter Olson, a legal expert at the Cato Institute, describes this as the "invisible fist" school of consumer protection. And he says it's less public-spirited than Clarkson claims.
In the U.S., the policing of misleading labels is mostly done though "a legal process driven by lawyers really in it for the money. [We] hope that it will somehow or another coincide with the public interest," Olson tells Reason. The theory is "the harder they litigate, the more perfect the environment for the consumers. It doesn't work very well in general."
(Clarkson did not respond to Reason's emailed request for comment.)
Clarkson's practice appears to be ramping up its activity in the young, growing industry of food and beverage class-action lawsuits. In 2008, only 19 of these class-action lawsuits were filed. By 2021, that number was up to 325, according to the law firm Perkins Coie, which has defended food companies in these suits.
Perkins Coie largely credits/blames the explosion of class-action labeling lawsuits on pioneering New York–based attorney Spencer Sheehan.
According to an October 2021 NPR profile. Sheehan has filed over 400 labeling lawsuits, including 120 targeting companies for allegedly misusing "vanilla" on their labels. (Roughly a quarter of labeling lawsuits in 2020 alleged misuse of the term vanilla.)
He was also behind (now dismissed) lawsuits claiming White Kit Kats and Reese's were misleading because they didn't contain real white chocolate.
Sheehan's lawsuits make hyper-technical claims about how this or that label is misleading, while also waxing poetic about the challenged ingredients to illustrate the high cost of corporate deception.
A favorite factoid appearing in many of Sheehan's lawsuits is that Thomas Jefferson (referred to as the author of the U.S. Constitution in one complaint) was a fan of real vanilla ice cream. Today's consumers are being bilked by getting only artificial vanillin-flavored products, the suit argues.
Sheehan, like Clarkson, claims that he's sticking up for the little guy. Deceptive labeling leads consumers to pay a premium for products they mistakenly think are imported, "all-natural," "aged," etc.
But there's obviously a lot of self-interest involved in these suits. While the damage to individual consumers is small, the attorneys filing these class-action lawsuits can lay claim to a large percentage of any settlement. Large corporations often find it cheaper to settle than to fight these lawsuits, even if they'll ultimately prevail.
"To whir up the machinery of a litigation department is expensive and time-consuming for the company," said Perkins Coie attorney Tommy Tobin to NPR.
These class-action lawsuits also raise an institutional problem with the courts, says Olson, "when no one is actually asking what consumers think, but it's instead done by lawyers who are given this odd privilege of claiming to speak for millions of people without actually consulting them."
And while these lawsuits are billed as pro-consumer, the costs of the litigation are ultimately reflected in higher food prices, Olson adds.
There's some evidence that courts are getting tired of hearing these lawsuits, too. A Perkins Coie report on food and packaged goods litigation notes that 2021 saw a number of appellate court rulings favorable to manufacturers.
One 9th Circuit Court of Appeals opinion—in a lawsuit targeting Trader Joe's honey—found that both contextual clues about a product's quality and supplemental information presented on the label should be considered when determining if particular branding is false or misleading.
That decision could lead to more lawsuits like the one challenging Texas Pete hot sauce being more quickly dismissed. (In that lawsuit, Clarkson's firm is arguing that supplemental declarations that the product is made in North Carolina don't save the Texas Pete branding from being misleading.)
These lawsuits will persist given how hard it is to craft clear standards around what should be considered legal, if not literally true, marketing claims ("world-famous coffee") versus illegal deceptive claims, says Olson. But policing fraud nevertheless requires some lines to be drawn.
He suggests reforming the class-action system so that consumers have to affirmatively opt into these lawsuits, and the losers have to pay the other party's legal fees. That would potentially clamp down on some of the more frivolous suits. But there doesn't appear to be much political willingness for broader reform.
Taking things out of the courts entirely and instead relying on regulatory agencies to enforce labeling standards hasn't worked incredibly well either, where it's been tried. Consider the Food and Drug Administration's coming crackdown on nondairy almond and oat milks.
So for the foreseeable future, we can expect more lawsuits from aggrieved consumers angry that Coors doesn't actually contain any silver bullets.
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I really do wonder if there is some way to allow people to counter-sue on frivolous cases like this. I don't know how to do that reasonably, but there feels like there should be some way to push consequences for this type of action.
A few.
1. Loser pays. If White and Clarkson Law Firm lose the lawsuit (as well they should), they should be made to pay any and all legal fees accrued by the company they are suing. That would put them out of business PDQ.
2. Judges start getting smart and a) throwing out these types of lawsuits immediately, and/or b) holding the folks like White and Clarkson in contempt of court for bringing up such a frivolous lawsuit with fines and/or jail time for each offense.
Except judges are lawyers and seem to rule almost always to benefit the employment of more lawyers.
Loser pays.
While this sounds attractive on first pass, we actually do do this in California and it doesn’t really work as advertised.
In order to count as “loser” for purposes of paying, there really needs to be absolutely no merit to your claim whatsoever. If any sort of squinting or looking sideways at your claim makes it even remotely plausible, everyone is paying their own lawyers.
OTOH, it’s bog standard when threatening someone with a lawsuit that you claim your own lawyer’s fees as part of the damages as part of an intimidation technique to get the other party to settle, especially if the other party isn’t on very firm financial footing.
I used to subcontract to a general contractor who did this as a matter of standard practice to bully subcontractors into doing extra work.
My vague suspicion, not knowing much about this at all, is that the person in the article above is abusing judge shopping in someway. Either trying this in a bunch of places and seeing if one judge doesn't throw it out, or else just looks for the one jurisdiction where some shitty judge doesn't immediately throw it out.
Something like that.
I don't know though. This is a very specific wonky question, one that actually is important but isn't exciting so doesn't happen in our current politics.
While this sounds attractive on first pass, we actually do do this in California and it doesn’t really work as advertised.
I’m not sure about this, but maybe I’m biased. There have been some totally frivolous lawsuits filed by umbrage class youtubers against other youtube meme makers, and said lawsuit filers got stuck with some pretty hefty legal bills because of “loser pays”. Sure, I admit I’m giving you anecdotal evidence, but it sure felt good to see it happen.
It's very easy to draft a statute that says the prevailing party pays. But there are various reasons legislatures often don't want to do that.
And that's the problem, Square. What you have in California isn't really "loser pays". A proper "loser pays" system (which, by the way, is the norm in many other countries) is a straight-forward "you don't prevail in your case = you pay for the other guy's lawyers, too".
Other countries also set standard legal rates (quite reasonable given that the legal profession is a government-created monopoly in the first place and are all supposed to be equally competent), so loser pays standard legal rates.
They also prohibit lawyers being paid a percentage of the payouts from lawsuits.
Throwing out cases doesn't work. Trial attorneys keep bringing it up until they get press and poison the jury pool
A TikTok video "proves" that the Shroud of Turin was wrapped around the undead Jaysus Lawerd, therefore nuclear science is fake because it got the date wrong by 1000 years.
These are the sorts of people that, if it came out that, if companies were to be found to be hiring goons to break their kneecaps - I wouldn't really be all that outraged.
I could see Mafia goons hearing about this and volunteering to do it for free.
What we need is tort reform, where idiots like White have to pay lawyer fees and court costs when they lose.
I really feel like a person facing a nonsense suit like this should just be able to go to court sans lawyers and say "Your Honor, this is fucking retarded" and have it tossed when it is this plainly frivolous.
So for the foreseeable future, we can expect more lawsuits from aggrieved consumers angry that Coors doesn't actually contain any silver bullets.
I don't know about silver bullets, but I used to know people who would make a yearly pilgrimage to Golden so they could piss in the stream that feeds the brewery.
You hang around with assholes. Big surprise.
Yeah. That's what "used to know" means. Once again you prove that any estimation of your intelligence is too high.
Did they get tired of your shit?
sick burn
Why did you bring up the story?
That’s dedication.
>>Californian Phillip White has a problem.
is "loser douchebag someone should punch in the face" a problem or a personality trait?
Yes.
Nothing that can't be fixed w/ zip ties, a towel and a bucket of water.
"This is the most blatant case of false advertising since my suit against the movie The Neverending Story."
-Lionel Hutz
Almond milk is not false advertising, it’s hard work to find the udders on a female almond.
Does this mean Poppa John isn't my real dad?
Yosemite Sam needs to bring receipts.
How much Jim is in a Slim Jim?
It's actually 100% Jim, but his friends call him Jimmy.
It's obvious that the sauce wouldn't be made in Texas. They'd only call the guy Texas Pete if he was making sauce in a state other than Texas (i.e. North Carolina).
In Texas, he's just "Pete."
Case closed.
In Morocco he’s just Mole.
I ditto that
If it's Louisiana style hot sauce, it should be 'Louise', no?
Exactly what I thought a few days ago when I first heard about it. And if he went around Texas calling himself "Texas Pete," he'd get punched in the face. Repeatedly.
Yeah, this one doesn't even make any sense at all. "Texas Pete" is clearly the brand name, not a description of the sauce's origins.
Simple, just like no one thinks Mars candy bars are made on the red planet...
It gets worse: Celeste ain’t yo mama neitha!
Only Maury Povich knows for sure
I must say, during the supply chain issues and hot sauce was in short supply and/or expensive, as hard as I thought it would be to wind up disappointed in a $3 bottle of hot sauce, Texas Pete managed to do it.
Yeah, may favorites are Crystal for something mild and Tabasco for something (somewhat) hot, both from Louisiana.
Sriracha for me!
Siracha is good too
Cholula 4 Evah!
because it's made in North Carolina. North Carolina! get a rope.
There are two primary components of hot sauce, and North Carolina does vinegar well.
I'm not unfamiliar with Carolina hot sauces and can even appreciate a good Alabama White sauce. Texas Pete was just all around weak.
Frank's.
Please die scumbag.
My lawsuit over the fact that Girl Scout cookies contain negligible amounts of real Girl Scouts that was unfairly dismissed as "stupid" by the judge was a travesty of justice.
Do you want Girl Scout cookies to contain parts of Girl Scouts? Because calling for it at Reason is how you get Girl Scout cookies that contain real Girl Scout parts.
Of course, now there is no such thing as a "girl'.
#DNAISFAKE
Oh you believed the literal words? Let's look at them then.
The label doesn't say the sauce is from Texas. "Texas Pete Hot Sauce" means PETE is from Texas. "I'm Texas Pete, yahoooo!!!!!!" Since he's a fictional character, he can be from Texas, and the sauce can be manufactured literally anywhere.
Plain English analysis doesn't mean the sauce is from Texas.
Where do I send my defense counsel bill?
I was thinking the same thing.
English muffins are next.
There'll be an additional suit filed when they find out the CEO isn't actually named Pete.
Crap, I should have read farther before replying...
Where do Pete’s exes live? Inquiring minds want to know!
Skimming through the claims, I’m not as horrified as I’d expect.
Fuck those assholes for making a Louisiana hot sauce, labeling it “Texas” and making it North Carolina.
The same goes for pasta boxes that are unnecessarily large to give the impression of a larger serving. Yes, products settle. Yes, caveat emptor. But if the company is being intentionally deceitful, then don't expect me to rally to their defense when they get hit with these lawsuits.
But seriously, do we want the USDA/FDA defining food labeling terms, or do we want it to get hashed out in court? Because absent a regulatory scheme that defines “all natural”, these lawsuits are the obvious alternative.
You are missing the even more obvious alternative: read the fucking label, and if you don't, eat the $3 and count it as a life lesson.
“All natural” means what?
Absolutely nothing. Bullshit weasel words.
Now now, it’s not nice to fool Mother Nature l!
... just like "Organic".
Not supernatural, I guess.
I'll bet he's never purchased anything supernatural, not food, not wrenches, not even pets, so I'd find his claims to be as silly as the rest of him.
This is exactly why (supposedly) we have those damn fool shelf labels that give costs per ounce.
LOL @ being fooled by a box.
Yes! I bought a box labeled "Pasta - 6 oz. dry weight, excluding packaging" and didn't get a cubic yard of pasta. I blame the box.
Enough of this misogyny!!
Kinda dumb, but you do you. For my part, I'd like to see chip bags stop exploding just because I live in Colorado. Clearly, those bags were manufactured at a lower elevation. Live in Colorado, eat stale chips with a hole somewhere in the bag.
The inflated bag actually keeps the chips from being crushed. So it wasn't 100% consumer deception.
I'd never heard the Colorado issue, but that's interesting. High altitude communities beware. I now know two bits of useless trivia about potato chip packaging.
Can't win 'em all I guess.
Inflate the bag at lower elevation, watch it explode at thinner atmospheric pressure a mile+ above where it was packaged.
Pointless anecdote, just a personal pet peeve.
Maybe move?
Don’t bring the poor guy down!
Yeah, I love Colorado. Parts I've visited are truly beautiful. Folks who live there can bake their cakes slightly longer and deal with stale chips, it's worth it.
What's New Mexico, chopped liver?
(Don't answer that...)
No one who knows anything ever thought the swill that is Texas Pete was like anything used or made in Texas.
Its Tabasco (which is great) if you open the bottle and let the water evaporate until its thicker and tastes shitty.
Its only redeeming feature is that its cheap and works well enough to make ramen taste like something (mostly salt).
No one can keep Pace with Texas picante sauce!
Lucky Charms haven't done a damn thing for me my entire life.
Jiffy mix takes a little while to make and bake.
Ovaltine isn't oval. The can is round...the glass is round...they should have called it Roundtine. (That's gold, Jerry).
Wheat Thins have contributed to my waistline.
I can't fit a Dunkin Donuts into my coffee unless I break it in half.
Cheez Whiz.....yeah that one's ok they spelled it with a z.
Somebody get me in touch with Phillip White, stat!
Lays potato chips did not improve my love life.
Try turning some Trix!
Turning Trix is for... kids? Ewwww...
Cheez Whiz is yellow and comes out in a stream, so I think they're covered. Unless it should really be spelled "Whizz."
I can’t fit a Dunkin Donuts into my coffee unless I break it in half.
That's because they did away with the "dunkin' donut"
Bullshit. Big Coffee made the cups smaller to sell more.
I think donut holes and burnt fingers is the solution you're looking for.
And most outrageous, Mars bars are in fact manufactured on Earth!
Next you'll tell me that three musketeers don't actually mix and make the delicious candy bar.
Building three factories to make Twixt bars was too complicated, so they just dropped the 't' and streamlined the operation to just the left and right factories.
And I actually had less money in my wallet after Pay Day. In all honesty aI had to snicker at my own foolishness but maybe we SHOULD bring them before the bat?
I've bought plenty of food that didn't meet expectations; I didn't buy it again. Didn't matter whether the label mislead me, or recommendations from friends.
Indeed.
I have heard that the FDA was specifically founded because some athlete got enamored with a marketed radium water (before everyone fully understood what radiation could do to you), died from radiation poisoning, and was buried in a lead casket -- and also because a guy unfamiliar with chemistry decided to combine two chemicals used separately to treat colds, not knowing they would produce a poison, and ended up killing some customers.
You'd think that the lead casket thing and an old-fashioned wrongful death lawsuit would have gone a long way to preventing those kinds of things from happening again -- but, nope, we had to create a Federal agency, whose primary guiding principle is "Let's test it ONE MORE TIME, no, make that FIVE MORE TIMES, no matter how much that's going to increase the cost of the medicine in question, because we don't want headlines about how many people died from something we approved!" (among the many problem we're currently having with the FDA).
While there might have been some justification for the mislabeling of all natural in a chemically processed fiber supplement, there is no justification whatsoever for claiming that calling your product "Texas Pete's" implies that it is a product of Texas. Until some judge somewhere fines the plaintiff for frivolous lawsuits and disciplines the attorneys for barratry, this crap will continue, especially in California.
Why call it “texas Pete” if you don’t want to imply it’s from Texas?
The marketing department assumes that the customer believes a gentleman from Texas named Pete makes very good hot sauce.
I'll give you that it implies a Texas style hot sauce though.
What is "Texas style hot sauce?" I can't seem to find a standard classification anywhere. Maybe you have a link to such?
Who knows? Who cares if its from Texas? And if they do - they can do the research as its printed right on the bottle.
I don't worry that my cheddar cheese isn't made in Somerset.
Three more lawsuits:
Root Beer
Ginger Ale
Cheerwine
Just because a fictional Pete is from Texas doesn’t mean the hot sauce named after him (fictionally) was from Texas, made in Texas, or Texas-styled hot sauce, or that anyone claimed it was, or that anyone in her right mind would assume that it was or be tricked by the allegation thereof. All clear now?
The guy running the company and who brought the product to market in the first place is named Sam. Is it also fraud to use the name "Pete" in the labelling?
I've never seen any evidence of olives being grown on site at any "Olive Garden" restaurant. Why use that name if you're not trying to imply that you're in the cultivation business?
Tombstone pizzas are made in Wisconsin, and have no connection to the OK Corral nor are they suitable for use as gravesite markers; there's got to be something criminal in that. Let's not even get started on whether or not a renowned WW1 German combat pilot has ever had any involvement with one of that company's well known competitors.
While the lawsuit is silly, at the same time, selling a product named Texas and it being from North Carolina is basically fraud.
I get the Yum box every month of foods from “around the world.”
A lot of the time, they’re manufactured in the country of the month (this month, Spain).
Sometimes, they’re a “Spanish” product Manufactured in New Jersey Under License. That’s in really tiny print. Should I sue?
Beers often are the same way. Grolsch lager or some obviously “European” beer….Manufactured in Ohio Under License.
They make some freakin’ Coca-Cola in The Phillipines. That USED to be the good ol’ US of A, but it’s not any more.
And on and on and on and on and on…..geographic origin, if it’s important to you, you should look into it, and not just believe the marketing.
The product wasn't named "Texas." It was named "Texas Pete's" Not only is the lawsuit silly, but also the name of the product is silly and your incorrect assertion that the name is fraudulent in and of itself is silly.
The Panic of 1907 was directly caused by the Pure Food and Drug law of 1906, passed in foaming rabid paroxysms of prohibitionist rage. Imperial China was boycotting US products as unlabeled dope while Colliers and other rags threw fits of outrage. What looked like a truth law soon morphed into protectionist prohibitionism where states banned margarine and Cabinet officials suggested neutral spirits be marketed as... er... "N-word Whiskey." Beer ice-houses were surrounded by dry lynch mobs as banks collapsed.
It's a good thing Gene and Stuart Feldman's Hong Kong Custom Tailors is no longer around.
Hong Kong? PHOOEY!!!
"It's a sneaky way for [corporations] to pass their own cost increases on to the consumer by selling less food in larger containers..."
Cost increases like the cost of dealing with legalized extortion, for example.
The family size and party size labels are false advertising.
WHAT?
You gonna leave out "FUN SIZE" ??
There's two kinds of companies in the world:
One kind passes increases in their operating costs on to their customers one way or another.
The other kind stops putting products on the shelves at some point when increasing costs make it untenable to continue to operate at all.
This lawyer and his roster of "clients" accomplish nothing more than increasing the costs that any company they target has to choose a way to pass along to their customers or else cease to serve customers at all.
“The geographic origin of a product matters to consumers, and a company is therefore prohibited from misrepresenting it,
Ooof!
I think this case falls on its face right out the gate – as far as I know, the US doesn’t recognize ‘geographic origin’ as a protected class. The EU does – you can’t call your sparkling whine ‘champagne’ unless its bottled in the Champagne region of France, similar with some other foods. But you can call any old swill ‘champagne in the US’.
Hell, we even allow you to call almond juice, ‘milk’!
Buncha free market anarchists over here. We’re all gonna die!1111!!!
Also, if its important to consumers then why don't consumers research it themselves. A product name is not, in and of itself, anything more than a name.
And how do we not know that Pete is from Texas and just moved to North Carolina because it has a more business friendly atmosphere where he can then make and distribute his favorite Louisiana-style hot sauce?
I don't see how one follows from the other. Why can't the plaintiff rely on more general principles? Why must there be a specific statutory provision regarding geographic origin?
Because there is no general principle here - thus the needs for the specific statute authority you see in places that do protect geographic identity.
Some lawsuits arise from damages the complainant suffered, and some arise out of laws and regulations specifically creating standing to sue under the law.
“Geographic Origin” <— Where’s this COMING from?!
Not the same lawyer who sued Red Bull because despite the slogan "Red Bull gives you wings" drinkers could not actually fly.
Those maxipads with wings can't help you fly either. Even if you combine them with red bull.
Don’t rag on winged maxi pads!
Maxi pads give you red wings!
EWWW
Anything with the label moonshine on that also has a tax stamp is false advertising. I demand my moonshine to be illegally produced.
That’s lunacy!
But white chocolate isn't real. It, literally, does not contain chocolate. The term 'chocolate' here is similar to the term 'milk' in 'almond milk' - its to give you an indication of what the product is used for.
Real white chocolate contains cocoa butter, which is from the same cacao bean.
But it doesn't contain the stuff that makes chocolate chocolate.
It contains the stuff that makes white chocolate white chocolate. Why does all chocolate have to be chocolate of color? Chocolatist.
Technically, cacao doesn't contain the stuff that makes chocolate chocolate. You have to ferment the cacao to make cocoa nibs and extract/distill the chocolate liquor from the nibs to get chocolate. You can use pigs to make bacon but pigs don't contain the stuff that makes bacon. You can use 3 and 1 to make 7, but neither 3 nor one necessarily contains the stuff that makes 7. etc.
Check out Juan Valdez over here.
Oh wait, he picked coffee beans. NVM.
Technically, cacao doesn’t contain the stuff that makes chocolate chocolate.
Also, I don't want to be the ackshyually guy here, but doesn't that mean that "technically" cacao DOES contain the stuff that makes chocolate chocolate? Otherwise, we could make Chocolate by starting with pieces of clay pots.
I don’t want to be the ackshyually guy here
Maybe you missed the part where if the hot sauce were made in Texas, the spokesperson would just be “Pete”.
but doesn’t that mean that “technically” cacao DOES contain the stuff that makes chocolate chocolate?
No. Fruits are generally internally sterile and require the introduction of exogenous yeast and bacteria to ferment. And, unlike other forms of fermentation (e.g. grain alcohol) chocolate requires fermentation that the fruit itself cannot produce or elicit.
Otherwise, we could make Chocolate by starting with pieces of clay pots.
You can make chocolate by starting with pieces of clay pots. The clay pots, however, do not contain what makes chocolate chocolate.
Why do you whit chocolate supremacist insist on invading spaces of chocolate?
Plus, if cocoa butter were enough to be chocolate, that would make some types of moisturizing cream chocolate.
Anyone who consumes white chocolate needs to check his privilege and shut up!
Candy color is the most important thing
TASTE THE RAINBOW!
Why should software patent lawyers have all the fun.
Maybe we're starting to run out of software lawyers to woodchip. Without that constant Brylcreem input how do I keep my woodchipper lubricated?
In other news, Budweiser is not the king of beers, and Captain Crunch is a lowly lieutenant
And Count Chocula is actually the Duke of Earl!
And Frankenberry isn't really gay, just metrosexual
His name isn't Frank, either.
It's Cyril.
"A favorite factoid appearing in many of Sheehan's lawsuits is that Thomas Jefferson (referred to as the author of the U.S. Constitution in one complaint)..."
Obviously someone needs to sue this Sheehan guy for spreading false information about U.S. History!
"Nikole Hannah-Jones to the Black Courtesy Phone, please."
And it's been 50 years I still haven't found the pork in Pork and Beans.
That little white fatty lump. That's lard. It comes from pig. That counts as pork, and it's why it's there. A good brand will put some bits of bacon in, but most just drop that bit of pork lard in. Which melts and disappears when you cook it.
No, no, no. My big beef is Boston Baked Beans that aren't bloody baked!
This should be dealt with not with a lawsuit, but the way used in the old Pace Picante Sauce commercial...Get a Rope!
There is absolutely no way they would put this commercial on the air today, which is a shame.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3nRLC6PlP4
Make the cook a black man, you've got a great exploration of what it's like to be Black in Today's America. Spielberg can direct it as a musical.
How do you get your racist narratives so clean, Mr. Reynolds?
Anyone these assholes sue should ask the court to not only pay the defendant's attorneys' fees, but also declare them vexatious litigants.
-jcr
Bingo. Finally someone gets it.
I hope this works out as well as it did in the lawsuit against Pepsi in the 90s. Pepsi had a Pepsi points promotion, and at the end of one of the commercials they said that if you collected something like two million points, you could get a Harrier jet. Some kid with a lawyer father actually managed to collect that many points and tried to redeem. When Pepsi refused to comply because it was obviously a joke, the kid sued, represented by his idiot father. The opinion regarding the dismissal of the case is hilarious. It was around five pages of ripping the father apart using the most subtly insulting legal language.
Just in case anyone would like details on the case.
https://law.justia.com/cases/federal/district-courts/FSupp2/88/116/2579076/
Thank you
I'm going to sue Big Tobacco companies because the warning labels on cigarette packs are misleading: I don't have cancer or COPD yet even though I've been a loyal customer for years.
Tell him to read the label and put him on the hook for all court and attorney fees.
Do I have to go to England to sue those Limey Bastards at Unilever for fucking up Breyer's?
Texas Pete is the worst example of all since it says clearly on the label made in Winston Salem, NC. However the falsely labeling Dolphin safe tuna is a different story to me.
Mr. Peanut is not really a billionaire despite what his tophat and monocle may imply.
When I order Chinese food for delivery, I don't expect it to be made in China.
Just wait until Phillip White finds out his Budweiser may have been brewed in Fairfield, CA and not St. Louis, MO.
Can I sue Congress and the President for the names of these things:
* Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (Did not make care affordable)
* Inflation Reduction Act (Will not reduce inflation)
* Bank Secrecy Act (Does the exact opposite, by requiring banks to report transactions to the Federal Government)
* Student Aid and Fiscal Responsibility Act (there is no fiscal responsibility involved, and that's before President Biden's illegal gambit to forgive/erase up to $20k in student loan debt).
Yes, but it will be dismissed. They’re better than us and have immunities.