The Eternals
The film is suffused with the patronizing notion that good superheroes are benign despots who know what's best for the rest of us.

Across dozens of blockbuster movies, sequels, and spinoff TV series, the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) is fundamentally about a team of superheroes who can be relied upon to save the day when humanity needs them.
Eternals, the latest entry in Disney's MCU and the franchise's first unmitigated train wreck, introduces another team of remarkable people—the titular Eternals—and implausibly suggests that they were there all along, serving as Earth's silent protectors for thousands of years.
Frustratingly, the film's ham-fisted attempts to explain why the Eternals—guided by official den mother Ajak (Salma Hayek) and including an all-star roster of underdeveloped leads—interfered in some human events but not others fall flat. Indeed, according to the stated goals of Arishem, the group's alien puppet master, preventing the events of Avengers: Infinity War should have been the Eternals' highest purpose. But no.
The film lacks big ideas, and its smaller ideas are bad. After learning more about their mission, the Eternals come to understand they aren't supposed to prevent wars as part of their effort to protect mankind, because, you see, war spurs technological innovation, and innovation eventually increases the population.
But couldn't Phastos (Brian Tyree Henry, the MCU's first gay superhero) simply have given humanity the steel plow a few centuries earlier than scheduled and sped things up without all the death and destruction? The film is suffused with the patronizing notion that good superheroes are benign despots who know what's best for the rest of us, and the too-predictable revelation that the mission is all a sham only partly undermines it.
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In the Eternals, our heroes save the world by performing a late stage partial birth abortion on a god as it's being born.
Yeah.
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The concept of superhero, at least in the comic book context, has been and always will be for the adolescent mind. Our current social tragedy is seeing that mind persist in people in their 30s.
Any media that has some sort of Deus Ex Machina device as the premise of its plot is doomed to fail, because the whole question of why they allowed bad things to happen at all will always come up.
Eternals compounds this stupidity by adding an intersectional checklist to it. The only people who really give a shit about the characters ethnicity or genderspecial identity are media critics, Twitter bluechecks, and the usual urbanite and academic mental cases. MUH REPREEEEEEEESENTAYSHUN doesn't do anything except highlight how unspectacular the characters really are, because there's nothing universal about them to actually relate to a mass audience.
Any media that has some sort of Deus Ex Machina device as the premise of its plot is doomed to fail, because the whole question of why they allowed bad things to happen at all will always come up.
I dunno about doomed to fail but the answer to why they allowed bad things to happen carries a high probability of being between bad and incoherent.
I don't even see how this movie works as representation. The Eternals aren't really members of the intersectional groups they're representing. They're alien androids that superficially resemble them. We're often told that representation matters because it tells underrepresented groups that they can be heroes too. What messages does this movie send, that aliens are just as capable of building androids that look like brown people are they are capable of building androids that look like white people?
The disability representation doesn't make sense for similar reasons. Why would you make an android specifically to hunt big scary monsters, and then engineer it so that she couldn't hear the big scary monsters sneaking up behind her?
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" They're alien androids"
So, they totally gave up on every aspect of the comic book characters except the name?
I never read any of the comics that featured the Eternals, but a quick review of the wikipedia article on them seems to reference a later storyline that shows that they were 'programmed' and 'hardwired' not to harm Celestials. So maybe the movie version of things isn't as far off as that?
I don't know. Both Marvel and DC comics have way too much history for most fans to know all of it. The movie was okay to me, not great, but had some decent action and characters.
The "First Comic Book Hispanic Character" for the new Dr Strange ads irk me in the same way.
America Chavez isn't Hispanic. She's an alien from a mono-gendered utopia called "Utopia" where everything is perfect because there are no males.
That seems out of date. A quick run down of her character's bio has more recent developments suggesting that she invented the alien thing as a child for a coping mechanism.
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Well this is generally the problem with all super hero stories. The idea that a person (such as Batman) has the skills and opportunity to be judge, jury and executioner, is batshit crazy. But that is what escapism is about.
The Incredibles was the closest Disney really ever got to truly grappling with this dynamic, and if you went too deep into it, all it did was make the stories supremely unfun.
I have no special animus against superhero flics, but I increasingly have no interest in them. They quickly fall apart when they try to take themselves too seriously, because the moral questions introduced by someone taking all law and order into their hands "cuz they can" are extremely complicated. That is why the good super hero films are about personal growth, the dynamics between the hero and villain, and more general themes. When you start putting in "social" problems, you have the inconvenient fact that any society with super heroes in is so incomparable to ours as to be unsuitable for a metaphor.
The film is suffused with the patronizing notion that good superheroes are benign despots who know what's best for the rest of us.
Oh, like God who does not exist, and Government, which is all-too-extant, M'Lady Suave?
Frustratingly, the film's ham-fisted attempts to explain why the Eternals—guided by official den mother Ajak (Salma Hayek) and including an all-star roster of underdeveloped leads—interfered in some human events but not others fall flat.
Kind of like Theodicy attempting to justify the existence of God in a world filled with evil? Or Winston Smith loving Big Brother despite his unspeakable tortures against him?
But couldn't Phastos (Brian Tyree Henry, the MCU's first gay superhero) simply have given humanity the steel plow
Is that a sex position involving a Steely Dan? Sounds fun!
After learning more about their mission, the Eternals come to understand they aren't supposed to prevent wars as part of their effort to protect mankind, because, you see, war spurs technological innovation, and innovation eventually increases the population.
So, "The Broken Window Fallacy" comes to the silver screen? Gotcha.
If I watch this film, it'll be like Mystery Science Theater 3000 and RazzTrax crew in front of my TV. I won't shut up the whole time! Two Thumbs aside my ears while I do a Bronx Cheer! 🙂
But couldn't Phastos (Brian Tyree Henry, the MCU's first gay superhero) simply have given humanity the steel plow
Is that a sex position involving a Steely Dan? Sounds fun!
Steely Dan? I assumed it involved Jethro Tull.
If the steel plow is powered by a "Locomotive Breath," I can go with that, but a definite pass on "Aqualung" or "Bungle in the Jungle!' No Children, dumb animals, or other nonconsenting beings for this libertarian sex freak!
Yeah, if a horse-drawn ho is coming over to your place, she's gotta leave A Horse In Town.
No chicks that require multiple horses to be drawn to my place should go without saying.
Well she could have been cumming 'round the mountain when she came but since she was driving 6 white horses you said no thanks.
No horses needed. I'll just book a flight to her and we'll have a "Hot Night In Budapest."
Of course, if she has a Twenty Mule Team with a shipment of Borax, we could leave them outside and have fun doing each others' laundry.
Is it really an unmitigated train wreck if everyone saw the train hop the rails miles down the track and walked away years before anyone except the passengers, the conductor, and the rail company got hurt?
The main point of the MCU has been woke for a long time.
This is how Hawkeye becomes a woman.
This is how Captain America becomes black.
Wokeism is the plot--and even if you like it, that's not a good plot for a superhero franchise.
The earlier films in the franchise had other, more interesting plots about the situations and the characters themselves. What we're getting now is basically propaganda rather than an organic hero epic.
I'm not saying a good heroic epic can't have a message, but heroic epics work best when they're an organic expression of society rather than merely an attempt to propagandize society.
Maybe this falls under your umbrella of 'propagandize society', but I would add that they're better as an inspirational statement rather than a reflective criticism or introspection.
"This is how Captain America becomes black." isn't inspirational to someone who's white or someone who's already black. "This is how to stand for truth, justice, and The American Way." or "This is how to be your friendly neighborhood superhero." is inspirational to someone regardless of race, creed, religion, or ethnicity as long as the example isn't explicitly "Be Christian." or "Eat pork."
There's an infinite supply of positive inspiration and it's exceedingly hard to chastise a retelling of the same positive inspiration other than "Seen it." No need, and plenty of inherent reason not to toss away the old in order to instill the new. A handful of white knight stories where the dragons win might serve a purpose in providing exceptions that support rules but when you're churning out 'the dragon wins' stories, you're begging the abyss to stare at you.
"good superheroes are benign despots who know what's best for the rest of us."
Superman is the ultimate Progressive.
"good superheroes are benign despots who know what's best for the rest of us."
And that makes the prime directive of Star Trek decidedly unwoke.
The MCU is progressive.
Star Trek is a vestige of the honest liberal (who are also considered the enemies of the woke).
Only in the Red Son timeline, my friend.
If you're unaware, that tell the tale if Superman had landed in Soviet Russia and become the perfect communist, actually following Marx's philosophy and contributing his absolute maximum to society. He made everything great, but also crippled society itself (for example, cars were not built with seatbelts because it was assumed that Superman would save you). Luthor defeats Kal El by making him realize that he had effectively put the Earth into a bottle, with humanity acting as his pets more than anything else.
And Batman becomes a freedom fighter trying to overthrow Superman's tyranny.
Even with a well-meaning and incorruptible leader, communism fails and people have to be ordered what to do, and some of them locked up or forced to work (albeit in humane conditions). Kind of a brave take for the writers.
If they were writing now, yes. In 2003, it was still acceptable to criticize communism and praise America. Now, Mark Miller would be called a right-wing radical for publishing such a book.
Or see The Monitors.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz4IoF2U_DI
Or read John Keel's The Eighth Tower.
They’re good for young and old! (Oh boy)
They cured the common cold! (Hooray)
God bless the Monitors!
In the Marvel Universe the superheroes outnumber the people they're supposedly looking after. You practically need a database to keep track of all these superheroes.
Sort of like when Justice League became Justice League Unlimited.
"We've already got a stretchy guy helping here, go help with crowd control".
The Eternals [ https://www.comics.org/issue/30016/cover/4/ ] was Kirby doing Erich von Daniken crossed with superheroes.
I enjoyed the book when it was first published, but not as much as The New Gods and related titles for DC. Jack's original idea was to tell the story without bringing in the rest of the Marvel Universe, which already had its own sets of Asgardians and Olympians. [ https://www.comics.org/issue/18842/cover/4/ (1965) ] Stan Lee and the Marvel brass weren't having any of that.
The meddling diminished the importance of the alien races.
Power exists irrespective of its location. It can be concentrated in more or fewer individuals. Fewer individuals, you get superheros, despots, and modern U.S. Presidents. Too many individuals and you get sclerosis. There are less-bad, if not optimal, solutions to this problem.
The best portrayal of this dilemma in a superhero property I've seen is the waning episodes of Season 4 of Justice League Unlimited. In it, the U.S. government has quietly built countermeasures against very prolific and powerful (but allegedly well intentioned) superheros.
The problem with the Eternals and Mutants (when they come into the picture) is that MCU put them all on the same Earth. You can't have the Eternals ignoring Infinity War/Endgame while half the universe dies and you can't have Mutants not playing a role either without serious irreconcilable problems.
Mravel should have worked infinite earths into the picture early in the MCU movies so that problems like this don't come up.
If super powered humans existed, none of them would be heros. They would all be villains, and some of then would fancy themselves heros.
Yes. I often use Superman as the prime example of a hero who would become a villain.
Superman saves people on a bus, gets a kitty out of a tree, he's all "yes, ma'am, no ma'am" and "aw shucks" when people thank him. He's a hero, everyone likes him.
Then one day there's a bus load of school kids going off a bridge into a freezing river and an airliner going to crash at the same time. And there's a kitten in a tree somewhere with a little girl crying about it.
He can't save all 3, so he picks the airplane to save. Parents of those kids and that little girl aren't gonna see him as a hero now, are they?
Nope, they will hate him. The whole world will hate him, because people are ungrateful assholes. He's fucked.
His best choice is to stop saving people. Stop giving a damn. Maybe start watching them die for kicks. Eventually, start pushing the school bus full of kids off the bridge to speed things up.
Superman would be a villain when its all said and done.
You skipped over making them carry cards or wear little insignias on their arms that get them priority status in the 'to save' queue.
Or watch "The Boys" on Amazon Prime. The heroes are in it for the money and fame. If it makes them look good, they save people. If not, well, let's just say no one is going to hear about the rescues that went wrong.
Quite frankly a similar story is being told over on Amazon with the animated show “Invincible”!
It’s much better than the Eternals.
I'm not sure I get this critique. The person pulling the stings was decidedly not a hero and not doing for the best of mankind. And it was the Eternals who upon learning the plan said no and fought against it (most of them anyway) on the basis that humans on their own are generally good and worth saving even with free will (which more comes down to a version of the trolley problem than any type of asking what is best for XYZ). They were told by higher ups not to interfere and were given a BS reason.
In fact what they were told to do for the good of mankind was to not interfere, which is pretty libertarian
Who waits around 5,000 years just in case a problem reappears? At some point don't you declare victory and go home?
The prime directive on Star Trek is looking better and better.
Because if you just give mankind a plow, it’s stifles innovation and you don’t invent other things made out of steel.
All real progress must be worked for.
And paid for.
That is the process of growth.
If you just give out college degrees, participation trophies, steel plows, seats the boards of Ukrainian energy company’s, then you get a spoiled, petulant child.
A mature person or society has to work and suffer in order to develop self discipline, planning for the future, and pride in accomplishment.
“Gimme dats” Never develop anything worthwhile.
We've seen this time and time again. Mass charity doesn't help societies. It cripples them. For example, Africa has received trillions in aid over the past century and its primary effect has been to support corrupt governments and undermine local industries. How can a farmer sell grain when the UN gives out corn for free? How can you sell clothes if you have mountains of free wares handed out by charities?
The Ghanaian president said it very well.
https://www.modernghana.com/news/1126002/we-must-stop-begging-living-on-handouts-charity.html
Seriously the shittiest movie I almost watched in a long time. I suffered through 20 minutes of mindless bullshit, fast-forwarded to the middle of the 150minute woke wet dream, watched about 10 more minutes, fast-forwarded to the last 10 minutes and the mercifully the credits rolled.
Millennials and GenZ are total losers if they like the movie - I can only hope the top-tier actors were handsomely compensated.
I could tell from the picture that there be nothing good there.
I suspect the writers start by rolling a D20 to see which boxes on the woke chart get checked in the next episode, then roll a D10 to see who has sex with what. 45 pages later, someone says "hey, what about a plot?"