Brickbats

Brickbat: Can I Take a Look at Your Photos, Too?

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The British government is allowing pubs to reopen, with one catch. Drinkers will have to present their phones to pub staff to show they have registered on the National Health Services COVID-19 test-and-trace app. The app alerts people if they have been close to someone who tested positive for the disease. Pubs that don't comply with the requirement may be fined up to £1,000 ($1,370 U.S.).

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  1. Wouldn’t a tattoo be more efficient?

    1. Better than making them wear yellow stars on their coats. You could just switch with someone else.

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  2. Ahhh totalitarianism

  3. That’s really great thing I see today.
    Real Xanax Bars

  4. The only way I’d trust an app is if the government were running it because I’d know it didn’t work and was a useless piece of crap. As long as the government is “partnering” with a private actor to provide the app, hell no, because I know those fuckers are scraping all my data and selling it to every telemarketer in the known universe.

  5. I suspect these vaccine apps will greatly increase the sale of cheap ‘burner’ phones to be used for nothing but mandated apps.

    1. And Faraday bags. I make fun of my mother by asking her where she got her tinfoil hat, but in this case it might be a good idea.

      1. “I make fun of my mother”

        Shame on you, you ungrateful bastard1

      2. Call me a lazy, Luddite Boomer but why would I spend money to achieve the same effect as simply not downloading the app and leaving my phone at home?

        There’s something very wrong with the idea “I can’t socialize without my phone.” Even if the defense is “How am I supposed to get a ride home?”

        1. Ah, glad to know that I’m not alone!

          Cell phones / smart phones will be the death of humanity. H. sap. may continue, but the vital spark of individualism is about to be snuffed out.

  6. Swipe your mate’s mobile, take a screenshot of his open app, text it to yourself, display the pic on your phone screen and Bob’s your uncle.

    1. Well, sure. If you want grandma to die!

      1. Absolutely.
        After, my grandmas are already dead, so the dying grandmas are just drawing down my social security trust fund.

      2. It’s not my fault Grandma keeps hitting the pubs without downloading the app to her phone!

    2. Swipe your mate’s mobile

      Won’t that get you pinched for buggery?

  7. They don’t have to secretly implant the microchips. People are happy to pay for the privilege to carry them around in their pockets and purses. The other day I was talking to my wife about car insurance and sure enough car insurance ads appeared in my news feed.

    We have achieved full tin-foil hat dystopia.

    1. I never let “Siri” in my house, and as for that bitch “Alexa….”

      1. me neither but the phone is enough. popups about whatever we talk about is the everyday now.

    2. “Put out chip in your car and save 10 %” (by letting us track your every move and monitor your driving style).

      No thanks.

      I said the same 20 years ago when our health plan wanted to give me a discount for joining a gym. Not a discount on the gym membership, but off the premium. Tearing up the notice somehow caused a reduction in my blood pressure.

  8. In 2021, the government is forcing pubs to hoover up 100% of their customers’ social contacts to slow the spread of COVID-19 until we reach herd immunity.

  9. lol we were warned to check IDs every day too

  10. The British tolerance for “jack-boot-knee-deep-in-your-ass” levels of authoritarianism is certainly disappointing.

    Unfortunately the entire continent has been ruled for the last few thousand years by tyrannical, sister-banging, psychopathic assholes who would happily have you beheaded for going to the wrong denomination of church.

    Shame, it would be refreshing for the Brits to break European tradition and see a little freedom.

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