Europe Considers Orwellian Proposal To Protect Its Dairy Industry From Vegan Competitors
Consumers aren't confused about where plant milks come from. Quite the opposite, in fact.

As early as this week, the European Union (E.U.) could deal a nonsensical and significant blow to makers of plant-based dairy substitutes such as almond milk and soy-based yogurt. And though several U.S. states have taken some steps to protect animal-based dairy interests, some of the E.U.'s more obnoxious efforts make those wrongheaded efforts in U.S. states look reasonable by comparison.
In 2017, a European court banned makers of plant-based milks from labeling their milk as "milk." Since then, as The Conversation explained in an excellent piece this week, the E.U. has moved to place further restrictions on plant-based dairy substitutes.
Opponents of the current E.U. proposal, Amendment 171, have dubbed it the "Dairy Ban." The law would prohibit plant-based milk producers from using words or images on their food labels that may also be used to describe or refer to animal-based dairy products.
Worse still, the rules could expand beyond simply censoring words and pictures on food packaging. It could even prohibit the use of some common food packaging itself.
"They would also be unable to use packaging designs that call to mind dairy products, such as yoghurt [containers] or milk cartons," The Conversation explains. "Even simply showing climate impact by comparing the carbon footprint of their products with dairy equivalents could become illegal."
Some of the potential consequences of the proposed E.U. ban, critics contend, could be downright Orwellian.
Amendment 171 has spurred headlines such as "Dairy Lobby Wants to Stop Vegan Brands From Using Images of Their Own Products." Oatly, the Sweden-based oat milk maker that's helping lead the charge against Amendment 171, notes the law would prohibit it and other plant-based food companies from using the phrase "does not contain milk" to describe "products that don't um…contain milk."
That would be exactly as preposterous as it sounds.
Why are E.U. lawmakers leading the charge against the powerful animal-based dairy industry's upstart plant-based competitors? Simple. Lawmakers are doing so at the behest of those same powerful animal-based dairy interests.
The dairy lobby (both in the U.S. and E.U.) claims the honest and accurate labeling, imagery, and packaging used by most plant-based competitors misleads consumers. It does not.
"No reasonable consumer would confuse soymilk or almond milk with cow's milk," an advocate for plant-based foods told me in a 2017 column I wrote on wrongheaded efforts to protect the U.S. dairy industry from plant-based competitors. "In fact, demand for plant-based milks is on the rise precisely because consumers are seeking out dairy-free options."
While plant-based meat and dairy substitutes are indeed a small-but-growing segment of the global food market, that growth has been slowed by the lawmakers who have pushed burdensome rules.
Here in the U.S., lawmakers in several states have mimicked some of the worst inclinations of lawmakers in Brussels. In 2018, Missouri became "the first state to take steps to prevent misrepresentation of products as meat that are not derived from livestock or poultry," banning vegan and vegetarian imitators from using the term "meat" to refer to their products. Since then, the National Conference of State Legislatures reports at least 10 U.S. states have adopted similar laws.
Plant-based food makers have sued to overturn some of these laws, including Missouri's. And these lawsuits often reveal the inanity of the laws they're challenging. For example, as I explained in a column last year, a federal judge in California—a state that has targeted vegan dairy companies—ruled that the "maker of a vegan butter, may use the word 'butter' to describe its, well, vegan butter."
In the United States, at least, these various state laws barring plant-based food makers from honestly describing the products they sell violate their First Amendment rights. And they violate the First Amendment rights of consumers to see, read, and be informed by those honest descriptions.
As I urged in a 2012 column, food companies should be free to use "any and all statements that aren't demonstrably false" on their product labels. Plant-based food companies are no exception.
While the rights of food companies and consumers may differ to some extent in the E.U., the same general principles apply equally there and in the U.S.: consumers are served best when the law allows companies to tell the truth about their food products. That's why the growing European crackdown on plant-based foods, which violates that principle, is so harmful and should be reversed.
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I have long been confused by apple butter.
"I have long been confused by apple butter."
Me too, also peanut butter, cashew butter, almond butter, sesame butter... and what the hell is a butter girl?
Or a butter face.
Butter Face is a minor problem solved with either paper bags--one for each partner in case one falls off--the doggiestyle position, or prone-boning...oh, and no mirrors.
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You're not the only one. It's an old insult in my neck of the woods to say: "He don't know shit from apple butter."
All you need to know,though, is that it's basically apples cooked to a stewing solid pulp with cinnamon and nutmeg and it tastes lip-smacking good on big, fluffy, piping-hot buttermilk biscuits! Mmmmm-mmm-mmm!
When do you churn it?
No churning required execpt maybe to loosen it off the pot. It's defintely something you'll want to scrape off the edges of its container.
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My friend says its for masturbating.
We know you’re talking about yourself you sick fuck.
That's the joke whenever anyone says "My friend says..." or are you that stupid. That was a rhetorical statement, not a question.
No shit?
Yeah, moron. No shit.
Wow, that’s very interesting!
Lol, you of all people shouldn't be calling anyone else a moron.
Anyway, go have another tallboy and don't come back until you're good and liquored. Drunken bitter sarcasmic makes for good entertainment.
Are you Terrence or Phillips?
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Third grade must have been very difficult for you. I'm sorry.
No it was great. As was fifth grade, when I learned about mob mentality. When did you learn about that again? Oh that’s right, earlier this year.
Wish he would just learn what hypocrisy means.
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You may not realize this, but you're not actually funny.
He is when he's angrily mashing the keyboard in a drunken rage.
You'll want to tell your "friend" that it's best at temperatures between just above chilling and room temperature. Anything lower or higher is learning shit from apple butter the hard way.. Oh, and never cook bubbly, popping stuff naked either.
The way that the responses look above, it looks like all of you might be too hypoglycemic for apple butter and biscuits. You may want to use peanut butter first instead.
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"No reasonable consumer would confuse soymilk or almond milk with cow's milk,"
Where is this mysterious consumer-land w/o any white women?
I pour milk of magnesia on my cornflakes.
I like Syrup of Epecac on my Lisa Douglas "Hots-Cakes." I'm sure Mister Douglas didn't need any after a while.
Portland antifa beta males have no idea what he's on about.
If interpreted broadly, the amendment could prevent them from including claims or denominations such as “dairy”, “creamy”, “yoghurt-style dessert” or “does not contain milk”. They would also be unable to use packaging designs that call to mind dairy products, such as yoghurt pots or milk cartons. Even simply showing climate impact by comparing the carbon footprint of their products with dairy equivalents could become illegal.
"Does not contain milk" would be illegal, eh? Well, so much for my suggested label "Don't even *think* about milk when you use this product."
"Unable to use packaging designs that call to mind dairy", eh? Well, suppose they package it in a bathtub -- immediately one thinks of "milk bath", right? In a can -- condensed milk. In a cardboard straw -- milkshake. And this doesn't even consider word association chains. It seems no legal packaging design is possible.
"Comparing the carbon footprint of their products with dairy equivalents could become illegal". eh? Perhaps the solution is to advertise "There is no comparison of this product with anything dairy."
By being so ruthless with these restrictions, these Euro-Bureaucrats are certainly uncontaminated by the "milk of human kindness."
Can't say "dairy"!
"It seems no legal packaging design is possible."
That's a feature, not a bug
How about putting the onus on the complaining party?
Require cow's milk (and other dairy products) to be clearly labeled "processed animal product" and also labeled "this product contributes to global warming / climate change".
See how that goes over.
Beautiful.
GOOD IDEA!!
Or the label could say: "Made by Contented Cows...who destroy the ozone one fart at a time." That'll really get the Euros spewing milk out of their nostrils. 🙂
I normally don't get into AGW/Climate Change hysteria, but the European dairy industry has to be pretty damn weak to be scared of Vegans and their products.
Yeah. Vegans make up about 3% of the population. But I guess one can't blame the dairy industry for trying to "milk" every penny of market.
Your comment is misleading, as it implies that only 3% of the population uses these products. They are not available to the vast majority of the world's poor, who are not vegan as they generally will eat anything they can get. If you look at the percentage of people in developed countries who are not totally vegan, but who use these products, the percentage is much higher.
No argument here. But gee, that doesn't sound NEARLY as dramatic! (sarc)
Looking at the shelves in my local supermarket and the number of "health food" stores in my area, I would say it's probably about 15% of total sales.
But it's still the dairy and meat industries seeking protectionist regulations, And THAT cannot be justified.
By the way, if you put the onus on 'em, why would they even be complaining? 😉
A+
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"Europe Considers Orwellian Proposal"
Least surprising sentence of 2021.
Of course Washington, London, Ottawa or Canberra would work too.
The headline is mind blowingly stupid.
Saying that you can't call plant juices "milk" may be good policy, it may be bad policy, but it is, literally, the precise opposite of "Orwellian".
War is peace. Slavery is freedom. Ground up almonds are milk. If anything they're prohibiting Orwellian language.
Considering words for milk have been used for non-dairy substances for well over 2,000 years, you’ve got no point here. I suppose you will want lettuce renamed next because it doesn’t contain milk but the word is derived from the Latin word for milk because, shockers, they called its juice “milk” that long ago. It’s the dairy industry that’s trying to define something to mean something other than what long-standing convention considers it to mean.
"Considering words for milk have been used for non-dairy substances for well over 2,000 years,"
Words for? Oh you're doing that thing where the actual word MILK hasn't actually existed for 2000 years, so you plat fast and loose by saying "words for" because YOU don't have a point.
This isn't about milch or Niúnǎi or gaábkùga or gála. So fuck off huh?
I'm going to take Hanlon's Razor on this one and assume you actually are stupid enough to think this would only apply to English-language packaging
they called its juice “milk”
No they didn't. "Milk" is Germanic, "Lac" is latin.
Really? That is fascinating to learn. Very fitting too. Both rotten milk and rotten lettuce equally smell like shit.
What about butter lettuce? Is that double banned?
The law would prohibit it and other plant-based food companies from using the phrase "does not contain milk" to describe "products that don't um…contain milk."
That seems pretty Orwellian to me.
Maybe they will prevent us from saying "Not made from real Girl Scouts" on the Girl Scout cookie boxes...
I'm not sure "Orwellian" is exactly the right term to use for this sort of naked corruption and favoritism and I think your dilution of the term is downright Hitlerian. Stop it.
"Orwellian" refers to newspeak. War is peace etc. Peanut butter confuses consumers who think they are buying butter.
I'm waiting for the day they pass such a broad newspeak law that they outlaw themselves being referred to as "parliamentarians".
Are lizard people really people? So we should just call them lizards.
Ask Nardz.
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On one side is a combination of rulings to promote truth in some cases and demote it in others, conflating the two. On the other side is Baylen Linnekin, conflating the two.
'Truth' - right.
I suppose we should require milkweed to be rename?
We should also stop using the term 'peanut butter' too. Witch's butter is right out. Baby bottom butter? Better find something else for that diaper rash.
No more chicken-fried steak.
Truth, y'all.
that name sounds made up, and might confuse some consumers
Go argue with over 2,000 years of linguistic convention and then come back and tell us who’s trying to redefine things.
Allowing plant based foods to be falsely advertised as "meat" (like allowing catfish to be advertised as Chilean Sea Bass or Tuna) is fraudulent advertising.
Seems like this writer wants to legalize all fraudulent advertising.
And now that Reason is no longer libertarian, it should stop falsely advertising that it is libertarian (especially since it campaigned for nonlibertarian Joe Biden).
Except that no one advertises plant-based foods as meat.
chik'n, burgers, etc.
Hamburgers don't even contain any ham!
They literally call one of the biggest products chik'n....
Which is not chicken.
Uhhh, you've been out of the loop? Meat-less meat is a big thing now. And meat producers just as statist about not letting them use the words "beef", "pork", etc.
And the products - like Beyond Beef - are not advertised as meat.
Veggie burgers - not advertised as meat.
Again, unless we, as libertarians, believe that people are complete idiots who need government to control their live for their own protection, *and* that language is static . . .
I am not defending this policy. I'm just saying that there are people who do. Sheesh.
"Beyond Beef" still has the word "beef", and the beef industry got their teat in the wringer over it.
"Beyond Beef – are not advertised as meat."
It has Beef in the name.
Not to defend ReasonMagazine's failings, but wait a minute here. There's a brand of tuna called Chicken of the Sea. It's been advertised with this name since at least when I was a kid and seen the commercial.
Does anyone seriously think that chickens can be raised underwater or that Chicken of the Sea represents itself as real chicken or even tastes like chicken?
If so, there's must be a missing episode of WKRP in Cnncinnati where the station owner drowns fowl while advertising for the brand.
Chicken of the Sea also has a visual of a sexy mermaid. Do people seriously believe that one, mermaids actually exist, or two, that Chicken of the Sea contains mermaids?
It is fully possible to adhere to objective truth and also acknowledge that words can expand meanings, can be used as similes and metaphors, and that humans can have fun, creative imaginations when marketing products. Nothing fraudulent here.
Chicken of the Sea doesn't contain mermaids?
That's it. I'm gonna sue.
Something something eat out Daryl Hannah.
I was pleased when America finally figured out Daryl Hannah was unattractive. It took about a decade, but sometimes you have to wait to say "I told you so".
Oh, and a horrendously mediocre actress.
"This is my brother Daryl and my other brother Daryl.."
We had 3 darrell's on my college team. Unrelated to each other but we had to give them grief about it.
Whatever her acting skills, I wouldn't kick her out of my bed for eating crackers and Chicken of the Sea. In fact, I'd love to partake as well.
As god as my witness, I thought chickens could swim.
I paid money to Hulu just to see that episode.
Does it pain you to have such a lack of replies about how funny you are?
Careful, he’s gonna start crying and call you a mean girl again.
Dude, torrent.
I think MeTV may still show it for free over the HD rabbit ears. Pluto.tv may even stream it somewhere.
Of the sea is a pretty telling description...
Also, I'm really disappointed by Gerber baby food's advertising and labels.
And don't get me started on Girl Scout cookies.
Ah, a fan of The Addams Family I see.
While I am not Vegan, there are Vegetarian/Vegan dairy substitute products that I've tasted that are really good, such as Tofutti soy-based frozen yogurt substitute and Country Crock Plant Butter.
(Country Crock Plant Butter is made with olive oil or avocado oil combined with palm oil. I haven't yet tasted the avocado variety, but the olive oil variety tastes like real butter, is soft-speading even fresh out of the fridge, has no cholesterol or trans-fat, and is just a few coins more than real butter.)
Wouldn't the Euros ban these products as well without expensive modification to the labelling and marketing? And just why is participation in the EU touted as such a good thing if they want to force this nonsense on Europe or, really, the entire global market who has to pay higher coats for businesses to kow-tow to EU regulators?
Replace EU with California and Europe with USA.
Europe in general and the EU in specific has long had regulators that are so protectionist and tariff-happy that it would make the most alt-right (reicht?) nationalist Trump trade policy supporter blush.
If Reason (Boehm) were actually interested in free trade they would have spent a lot more time covering this.
In fact, the Trump tariffs were a reaction to the EU ones.
plant-based milks
That vegan shit isn't milk, but it's none of the Reich's business what they call it. Anyone who's too stupid to tell the difference deserves it.
-jcr
Plant-based milk is hate speech.
Too bad about the stupid exaggeration where everyone calls everything they don’t like Orwellian.
Read another book.
It's the Harry Potter of the over 40's.
It's a Brave New World we live in.
I've noticed that even libertarians have their 'one exception' for why we need big government, and they defend it aggressively. Some examples are social security, drug war, and food labeling to protect people who would buy a product because it says 'meat' thinking it's meat even though it doesn't say what kind. It's like we have a brain area dedicated to justifying big government.
Of course there are the anarchists who advocate abolishing government entirely and basing the law on an untested system like the NAP ("Non aggression principle"). But that's not really libertarianism. Nevertheless they insist it is, with the same angry tenacity.
Why not keep the existing laws but abolish big government programs? Everyone's ox gets gored - it seems like the only possible compromise.
Uhh, are you off your meds today?
This is not an exception. This is an attempt to keep government from usurping the common law of language. There are certain terms that are customary in commerce, and others that are not. How the distinction came about in certain analogous cases and not others is unimportant. The point is to keep the government from either imposing definitions that contradict custom, or to enforce a gyp by someone using a word in commerce in ways that contradict custom.
What? My soy milk doesn't come from cow teats? Nooooo!!!!!
Seriously, this issue isn't just Europe. The US is just as bad trying to punish goat milk producers for using the word "milk".
And it's not about R vs D. Both sides are just as guilty of taking industry bribes.
“ a federal judge in California—a state that has targeted vegan dairy companies—ruled that the "maker of a vegan butter, may use the word 'butter' to describe its, well, vegan butter."”
Then the judge doesn’t know what the word “butter” means. “Vegan butter” has been around for a century and already has a name - margarine.
What about ... peanut butter? No one mistakes it for butter butter.
No, but that's the point. There are certain terms that are customary and others that are not but may be confused with ones that are. Don't try to impose a rationale on it, language is often irregular.
I don't have a problem with, say, "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter". It uses the word, but makes it clear that it *isn't* butter. So the European proposal goes too far.
But I don't want a product that says it's butter, milk, beef, etc., and isn't. It's got a vastly different nutrition profile, different allergens, etc. (Peanut butter gets a pass, as everyone knows what that is and it's not trying to pass itself off as "real" butter - it's in a different section of the store, in a different style of container, and doesn't look or taste at all the same.)
Name your product what it is, not what you're trying to imitate.
I suppose that you'll be telling me that Liebfrauenmilch is not actually a mother's milk, but a sweet German wine? I can't even.
But vegan cheese? Fuck that shit. Have you ever had it on pizza? It taste's like a hate crime in your mouth.
It taste’s like a hate crime in your mouth
Very funny and apt.
Vegan cheese is just horrible. I wouldn't be surprised if it was actually worse for your health than regular cheese. Why bother?
It's not cheese, it's bullshit cheese substitute. It exists to make Velveeta seem tolerable.
-jcr
Hey, now. Velveeta is excellent with Mac and Cheese and on Nachos. Same likewise with the Walmart Great Value version and Aldi's store brand version Clancy's.
Velveeta I think gets a stigma just because it resembles loaves of U.S.D.A. Government Cheese. I pay for my own Velveeta-like cheeses, so all of my fellow libertarians can relax, even if the taste may not be yours.
I heard from a grocery shopper that Velveeta can be used to make a peanut butter fudge that actually doesn't even taste like Velveeta. Must investigate further...
I suppose that you’ll be telling me that Liebfrauenmilch is not actually a mother’s milk, but a sweet German wine? I can’t even.
This is a misrepresentation. Not the name 'liebfrauenmilch', but the idea that it would be confused with or is being passed off like milk is rather literally like suggesting that communion wine is being passed off as human blood and flesh.
I agree with you on Liebfraumilch but that may not the best analogy. Devout Traditionalist Catholics actually believe in Transubatantiation, the doctrine that the Communion Wine and the Communion Wafer literally become the Flesh and Blood of Jesus Christ.
To quote Sylvester the Cat, "Beats me where they get this guff" but nevertheless, somebody is passing along and believing the notion, so somebody else seeking or holding power will be kow-towing to and reinforcing illusions.
For the wino robot set, Liebfraumilch really would be mother's milk. 🙂
Speaking of Vegan Cheese, once in college, I purchased a bag of a dairy-free Mozzerella substitute called Formagg. It may have been soy-based or it may have been made of cassein, I forget. All I know is it had the texture and taste of melted plastic. The only thing accurate about the name was "AGG' because that's the sound I made trying to swallow it!
I don't think it had the word "cheese" on the package, but fortuneately, I don't find it in a Duckduckgo search. Maybe the product mercifully no longer exists on the market.
Perhaps that's the best way to go on these matters. If no one likes the product, it won't be on the market long no matter what the maker calls it.
Stupid rule, and again goes to show that massive government bureaucracies exist to protect special interests. The EU also demands things like cheeses and wines only produced in their original region can be called that, so Kraft Parmesan is now called Italian style grated cheese, and California champagne must be called sparkling wine. That said, I am annoyed with all these retarded hipster plant-based milks because it’s almost Impossible to find a carton of actual milk now at the grocery store.
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If Truth-In-Labeling laws are un-Libertarian, then that's one reason I'm a libertarian-leaning conservative and not a full-bore one.
"Milk" has a meaning. So does "meat". Those meanings may be different in different regions and dialects of English. Enforcing accurate labels entirely legit, and this is a bad position.
The purchasers for meatless "meat" and milkless "milk" are looking for alternatives to meat and milk. They're not being tricked into some sort of cheap substitute.
Besides, meat didn't always strictly refer to animal flesh in English, and milk hasn't strictly referred to the product of the mammary glands of mammals. Mincemeat for instance, or crop milk. Then there are the hundreds of traditional compound words that contain meat and milk that would fall afoul of such a silly law.
They’re not being tricked into some sort of cheap substitute.
Unless it's New York-style pizza.
More seriously, products like 'beyond meat' and 'impossible burger' are specifically named to hide their vegetable origins while simultaneously laying claim to being a meat-based food product. I'm not saying it's malicious or needs up-front regulation, but all the elements of the crime, absent mens rea, are there. Typically the sort of thing that would get settled in a lawsuit (and that Reason would decry oppressive meat and dairy producers for taking action on).
Mincemeat for instance
Originally, mincemeat specifically referred to animal organs/flesh and even today it still generally implies suet or beef fat.
“Milk” has a meaning. So does “meat”. Those meanings may be different in different regions and dialects of English.
Now imagine you're the EU and only a minority of your "constituency" speaks English as a first language, if at all.
The fact that Reason seems oblivious to this should render their opinions about globalism null and void.
I think this is a battle between two marketing strategies. There has always been milk of animal origin. And many generations have grown up on this. Better to improve the quality of modern dairy products
Sorry BL, on this one you've got it backwards. Orwellian is generally taken to mean the inappropriate use of a word to mean something else unrelated or counterfactual. Current fads include the ever popular "silence is violence" and "welfare clients".
Milk comes from the the mammary glands (or occasionally a pigeon's mouth since the ornithologists have messed it up a bit). Plant based extracts, suspension, emulsions etc. are that.
I object to big brother sticking his nose into speech too, but "Orwellian" is not quite "le mot just".
In the United States, at least, these various state laws barring plant-based food makers from honestly describing the products they sell violate their First Amendment rights. And they violate the First Amendment rights of consumers to see, read, and be informed by those honest descriptions.
Pretty straightforward libtardian take. Remember when libertarians were anti-interventionism and if the people of Germany didn't want 'oatmilk', it was none of our concern?
Even if you're of the civil libertarian bent, remember how evil it is to be ethnocentrically white/US-oriented? Well, guess what, in varioius parts of Europe, the various translations of the word 'milk' more literally mean 'mammalian lactation products' and many of the idioms we use in English don't apply. In the US, we've had 'milkweed' into antiquity. In German, there is no milkweed, it's 'swallow weed', as in the weeds where birds like swallows live. In German, there is no 'apple butter', it's (again roughly) apple marmalade. So, a container made in English that says 'Milk' and looks like a milk carton is and even can be intentionally deceptive in other countries.
The polite term for the line of thinking that pretends that regulations between everywhere in Europe should be analogous to everywhere on the Eastern seaboard, is 'simplistic'. But, hey, with such simplistic thinking, Reason has clearly got this globalism thing figured it out. It totally wouldn't be an idiotic oppressive mess that makes Orwell seem sensible and straightforward.
Here's something else to consider on this subject:
Perhaps since at least Mideaval Times in England, the word "meat" was used for food of any food group and "sweetmeat" was used for any kind of dessert, whether or not it contained animal products or by-products.
In the "Crunchy Frog" sketch on Monty Python's Flying Circus, the Candy Inspector called the candy of The Whizzo Chocolate Factory a "sweetmeat," so the usage at least of that term continues in modern times in England and the UK.
Also, the word "meal" refers to a serving or more of one or more courses of any food, regardless of the food group, as well as referring to ground-up grains.
(For example, the old jingle sings: "Hamburger Helper Helps Your Hamburger Help Her Make A Great Meal!" Later it was shortened to: "Hamburger Helper Helps Your Hamburger Make A Great Meal!" probably to avoid obvious sexist, male chauvinist connotations.)
Anyway, while it is strange for me to hear someone refer to a single course as a "meal," that's just my gluttonous ass and I certainly won't sic the Jackbooted Thugs on people who use the term differently.
*** Oatly, the Sweden-based oat milk maker that's helping lead the charge against Amendment 171, notes the law would prohibit it and other plant-based food companies from using the phrase "does not contain milk" to describe "products that don't um…contain milk."***
People should start including the phrase "does not contain milk" in advertising/packaging of all products, Cars, computers, industrial drill presses, sex toys... just to show the absurdity.
Some of those vegan substitutes are getting a bit confusing with cutesy monikers like "not any Pepperoni". I have grabbed a couple of these wannabes on occasion and with much regret.
You poor Euro-types! Looks like we gotta bail your ass out again with a country-style Marshall Plan of airlifted White House Apple Butter and Bojangle's Biscuits! That so-called "Continental Breakfast" needs a pick-me-up. 😉
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