Brickbats

Brickbat: Hale and Hearty

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Jeanne Pouchain has spent the last three years trying to prove to the French government she is still alive. In 2017, during a long legal dispute with a former employee, Pouchain was declared dead by a court in Lyon after the employee claimed she had died, even though a doctor had never signed a death certificate. That means Pouchain can no longer get a driver's license or bank account or health insurance, among other discomforts.

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  2. Say she manages to change the record to say she’s alive. When she finally *does* go the way of all flesh, they’ll have to change the record back again.

    Whereas if the government delays this long enough, she’ll die of old age before any corrections are made, and the official records will end up being accurate after all, without any need to change them.

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  5. Could be worse – at least her name’s not Harry Buttle.

  6. “Bring out your dead.”

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  8. So if someone murdered her would it count? Or would the French conciders having sex with her necrophilia? Seriously we need to answer the obvious questions in the brickbats

    1. And vice versa; can she now freely commit any and all crimes, as even French cops won’t pursue and arrest a dead person?

      How much money can she make at cosplay conventions as a real zombie?

  9. Don’t give the Democrats any ideas, please.

  10. After one is declared dead, is one then free of paying taxes? Will the cops bother to shoot you, since you’re already dead? If not, then can I PLEASE get my dog to be declared already dead?

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  11. I’m wondering if she is exempt from taxes?

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  13. France. Where common sense goes to die.

    1. No, common sense escaped from France shortly before the French Revolution, and they only way it’s going back is in a body bag.

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  15. I’ll assume reports of her death have not yet reached the tax collectors.

  16. The story reveals this to be among the drawbacks of independent contracting. As far as I can tell, it seems that because her company no longer exists, neither does she.

  17. Well, if she drives without a license, they’ll have a hard time prosecuting her. Actually, it might force the issue…

  18. So the old adage is true. Over time people and their pets grow to look alike.

    1. To paraphrase Ogden Edsl of Dr. Demento fame: “Dead Puppies and Dead Citizens Aren’t Much Fun.”

  19. Might be a prefect opportunity for her to go Galt. Or de Gaulle as the case may be.

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